This is acowleysoontobe's Pink Wedding!

apart from seeing the amazing sneak peeks from our photographer, i spend my time re-living our wedding day via our STELLAR video. i mentioned our videographer {dave tebbutt} when i first fell in love with him, and have only become more of a fan over time. he is cute as a bug's ear with his dimples and smile, and is incredibly talented at what he does. when i saw his face the morning of the wedding, i was instantly excited to see what he was going to put together, and i loved how he gave me some sneak peeks as the day went on to hold me over.

he brought along his friend {andrey}, another adorable boy with a camera, who helped shoot the day. they made a perfect tag team and i could feel their excitement when they got a good shot, or had a creative idea they wanted to try. i don't know how they did it, but they even convinced paul to get extra mushy with me, and made me blush as i watched paul and i literally making out back on their camera. it's like we invited them into our bedroom for frig sakes!

rather then blah blah blah on, take a peek. i think i have taken my own peek around 947 times.

Paul + Amanda // Highlights from Dave Tebbutt on Vimeo.

i hate that all good things must come to an end. who decided that anyways?

after feeling like celebrities during our photos, we were dropped off at the venue for our reception to start. who am i kidding, the party had already started long before we got there, so our guests were rowdy and ready to eat, laugh, and have more to drink.

our wedding party never officially decided on our “grand entrance” which usually would have worried me, but with this crew, i knew something spontaneous would be the best way to go. ‘you make my dreams come true’ by “hall & oates” blared over the speakers and i howled as our wedding party made their way through the tent, linked arm and arm with their mustache and lip props. the crowd got louder and i can remember hearing our mc’s announce us as husband and wife, i can remember how exciting it was to hear those words. almost running to the tent, i was so happy to be with everyone i love, and celebrate such a happy day.

it wasn’t long after we took our seats that our mc tag team {lindsay and chris} were on the mike. i was a good mix of anxious, excited, nervous and scared to hear what they came up with, but was prepared for everything they were going to throw at us. after prayers and introductions were done, our wedding party started the speeches. i loved how we jumped right into them, and said them during the meal as each course was brought out. this not only was a relief to whoever was speaking, but helped give our guests some entertainment throughout their dinner—it’s hard enough to speak in front a tent full of people you may not know!

speaking of entertainment, our mc’s were fanfuckingtastic. i swear they could start a comedy act in vegas and make a KILLING. because paul and i are pretty well total opposites when it comes to our personalities, we were easy targets. never will i forget my giant teddy bear of a brother in law, mocking me, dressed in a wig and white sheet as a dress, flaunting his huge ass diamond ring around, while referring to himself as “demanda”. all while Lindsay, who perfectly portrayed paulie, stood there in awkward stiff silence wearing a dress shirt, suspenders and bowtie, only allowed to say “yes amanda”.

it was perfect.

the speeches were just as incredible as i knew they would be. my maid of honour jules went first and made sure i cried right out the gate. our beautiful bridesmaids made up the sweetest poem that they took turns reciting, and each groomsmen said a little something too-making sure to embarrass at least one of us, or both, but not forgetting their sentimental side too. having words like that said to you, by the people you care about, love and respect the most: moments i will never forget. my parents wrapped things up with even more tears, and then it was time for paulie and i to speak.

i had finished up my speech 2 nights before the wedding, sitting in my parents basement click clackin’ away until the wee hours of the morning, i wrote it out, re-wrote it, printed it, re-wrote it again, and then i was happy. even at 10pt font, single spaced WITH the margins increased, that bad boy printed out on 4 pages, and i was ok with that, and still am, because i was the bride (i told you i pulled that shit out twice). i had things to say, stories to tell, thank yous to give and didn’t want to forget a single thing. so when i looked at paulie and asked if he wanted to speak first, you can imagine my surprise when he said no. i fully expected him to want to get it over with and let me wrap things up, but i am happy to say that he caught me off guard on the best day of our lives, and i can’t tell you how much i love that.

these are my favourite lines of the 4 pages i wrote:
“I guess the reason I became so impatient is because I had known you were “the boy” from day one. I would have married you in the first year we dated and then again every year after. The anticipation of starting our lives together only grew stronger and stronger until I couldn’t pretend I was happy with being just your girlfriend anymore. I was ready to be your wife, and I am even more ready today.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you, I had no control over. You were a super cute, shy boy in your DM cardigan, shaggy haircut and adorable smile, and I was loving every minute of you. I was always excited to see you and giddy when we were together, and not much has changed over the years, except the haircut.

What I know of you now only makes me more anxious to see what you become. I love that when you love something, you love it with your whole heart-baseball, India, family...me. I love that you always know who you are and never change for anyone or anything. I love that you’re genuine and unassuming, and have never let me down. I love that I can see the glory in you, even when you don’t.

You saved me long before I knew I needed to be saved, and haven’t stopped since. It’s always been you, it will always be you, and I am so in love with you”.

choking on my words i let him know every emotion i have ever felt about him during our relationship, and more than that, how i felt about him that day. even now, only a month later, i feel even more for him. it’s like love is made up of levels or stages, and the more you are together, and the more you experience with each other, the higher up in levels you reach. by the time you hit your 50th wedding anniversary, you are standing in front of bowser, dressed as mario and luigi, asking yourselves how the hell you got there.

then he said his speech.

it wasn’t 4 sheets typed out or even in point form on a cue card. but it was sincere. it was kind. it was thankful, sweet, nervous and surprisingly funny. he told stories and made sure to get his fill of embarrassing me too. it was the best speech he could have said, and meant everything to me.

and how do you top all that? with the most serious dance party i could have asked for. our band started up and i didn’t leave the dance floor once (maybe just to pee. thanks jules). we had the girls dancing, the boys dancing, my aunts and uncles and cousins busting moves like no one’s business. a few of my guests even made their way up on the “stage” and played some air guitar and sang along. after looking at the photos our guests took, i can’t help but smile; we had boys with ties on their heads for heavens sakes. the night carried on this way until 1am when paul and i looked at each other, sweaty with bloodshot eyes and nothing how we looked the first moment we saw each other that day, and decided it was time to call it a day.

our wedding day was a long time in the making. it was everything we wanted it to be from the moment we woke up, to the moment we fell asleep. if i could do it all over again, i don’t know that i would. i am happy that i wouldn’t want to change a thing or do anything differently.

that day i soaked it all up, took it all in, and i am holding on to it for dear life.

ohhh this is where things get messy.

from the time i first saw my dad to the time we arrived at the venue for the ceremony, is a complete blurr. i have these little snip-it’s of memories where i am walking out of the b&b front door, and the sun is shining so warm and bright and i can see people smiling, but i don't know who they are. i can see india in her pretty pink collar and crazy smile. i can see the man who drove our car holding the door open for me. and then i am on the parkway leading to the hall, and i am close to a panic attack. we are 5 minutes early, and i am NEVER early, so we pull over to the side of the road, and my dad grabs my hand. the windows are all open and a breeze is coming off the water and it calms me down. i want everything to go perfectly...i want this to be the moment i have been picturing for 8 years...and i want to see the boy.

after what felt like an eternity, we crept up around the building and waited for the girls cab to head up the drive and right up to the ceremony site. i can hear the music playing and can see the groomsmen nervously shifting from leg to leg. i am no longer interested in being even 1 minute late and have started "sternly advising" the driver to pull up and let me out. my dad tried to cool me down, but i can hear the music approaching the 2:56 mark and i know i have 20 seconds to get my ass to that aisle. after almost snagging my veil on the door, i am standing in front of everyone, veil over my face, bouquet in hand, daddy on my arm, smiling...and my heart beating through my chest.

and then...it's just paul.

i don't know how long it took to walk down the aisle. i don't remember anything but looking at him, and his nervous eyes and smile...and thinking "this is it". he looked more handsome then i have ever seen him, he took my breath away. most of the ceremony is clear as day. having read it about a thousand times before hand, i followed along in my mind and took a few moments to breathe it all in. we gave our mom's small posies as a promise that we would love and take care of each other just as they did for us-him one to my mom, and me one to his. we literally "tied the knot" with a tartan scarf in his families clan colours.

it was sweet, honest, meaningful...and everything i wanted it to be.

once the officiant announced us husband and wife, a whole new wave of emotions took over me. we were so happy, and so excited to finally be married, and i could feel that coming off of paul--it was such a special moment, maybe my favourite moment of that day.

our photographer took over the reins and made sure we utilized every moment allocated for photographs. she even captured us looking at what we had inscribed into our wedding bands, which i almost forgot about until she mentioned it. his choice in my band was so perfect, it almost caught me off guard 'ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE', clear and simple in capital letters. he also loved what i had put in his 'IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU'...it was never more true than it was that day.

a few photo locations later including a vineyard off the side of the road, and an old abandoned house nearby...and we were back at the hall for the reception. driving around town in the back of our classic car, champagne in hand and all of our best friends at our side, i didn't think the day could get any better.

but it did. it sure did. cause then we dance partied.

so i have reaaaallly been putting off each of these posts as this can mean only one thing....it's really coming to an end. there are days when i have these waves of relief (while sitting in my 3' x 4' cubicle), when i think to myself "i have sweet dick all to do tonight. i could honestly just go home, put on my pajamas and sit on the couch for 4 hours" and i start smiling like an idiot. but then i have these moments of panic (while sitting in my 3' x 4' cubicle), when i think to myself "i have sweet dick all to do tonight, and all i want is to make crafts and stress out about something wedding related and then drink a bottle of wine".

the wedding is over. now what? now friggen' what?

i guess i will just deal with it as it comes--or maybe i will divorce paul and make him do this all over again. for now, i will just bask in the residual glow of the best day of my life, and recap the hours spent getting ready to see the boy. i left off with my panties knotted knowing i had to leave the venue and the fate of my wedding in the hands of our trusted vendors, so i could get to the b&b to shower and do my thang.

i walked into our room to find that my mom and two of my bridesmaids jen and laura, already had their hair done and were well into makeup. they looked so pretty and so ready for the day, that it made me eager to start turning into a bride. i had three of my fabulous friends lindsay, tammy and neena helping with hair, makeup and eyelash control-they were my own little dream team that helped make everyone look and feel the way i always hoped they would. i had all the stellar ladies in my life around me that afternoon--something i will always cherish and never forget.

i was so excited to see our videographers {dave and andrey} and photographers {nataschia, mike and calvin} had arrived. i loved that they have all worked together on weddings and events in the past, and have this fabulous little community that works together seamlessly, are on the same creative page, and help each other achieve the best end result. after seeing the pictures and watching our wedding video, they confirmed for me that we clearly chose the best team to capture us and our wedding day.

i had hoped to make paul's boutonniere, and it actually happened, which was very exciting. my fabulous florist had dropped off the bridal party flowers while i was at the hall, and had tucked away a white peony bloom for me. while having my hair done, i sipped my mimosa and worked away--shaking like a leaf, i got it finished and was very happy with it; simple, sweet and very paul. our photographer/video crew very conveniently were able to bring the bout and the gift i had for paul, over to the boys who were at his mom's. they got to shoot them getting ready, drinking scotch and surprise surprise playing nintendo.

i thought a long time about what i wanted to get for paul, and was really happy with my choices. an embroidered hanky made by a lovely girl on etsy, a pair of cufflinks (ah hem, also etsy) made from vintage typewriter keys that had his initials on them and his own "little black book" which my photographer had made up of photos from a boudoir session i had done with her. girls, if you need to get something super special for your man, please do a boudoir sesh. i can't even begin to explain the kind of experience that it is. i stole some of his clothes (his favourite cardigan, a crisp white dress shirt, and my favourite plaid shirt of his), gathered some classic props (suitcases, lots of lingerie, pearls and shoes), spent some money at {VS} and let nataschia do her thing in her spectacular studio one saturday afternoon in january. the photos turned out JUST as i hoped they would, classic, fresh, pretty, super sexy and just what paul would want. the day of the wedding he wrapped it up just as fast as he opened it, warned the boys not to look at it...then hid it under the seat of his car and locked the door just to be sure. it's his and no one else's.

back at the b&b my bridesmaids were dressed and accessorized and i couldn't believe my eyes. they each looked like their own individual woman, with their own style and taste, you could tell each one apart so clearly and perfectly. and then they stood together and it was like they were each a chapter of my crazy wedding story...and it all made sense. they took my breath away. they made me proud. i loved them more in that moment then i knew i could.

getting into my gown was the exact moment every girl dreams of...having your bridesmaids and mom help you into your wedding dress...helping you fix your underwear and adjust than readjust your tits until they are just right...it's not exactly as romantic as it is in the movies, but it was real and wonderful. i was ready to get the show on the road, but not before my maid of honour jules made me sit down and open a gift from paulie. his card was incredibly sweet and of course not signed...lol...but it was the strand of classic white pearls he picked out himself that was the cherry on top. they were the perfect choice...and he knew i would love them.

the moment i worried about most was seeing my dad for the first time. he has a special place in my heart...can make me break down with just one look, i am a daddy's girl in every sense of the word. they had him wait for me at the bottom of the stairs of the b&b (another movie moment let me tell you), and it was just as i expected it to be--lots of tears, lots of hugs and incredibly special. i pinned on his boutonniere and was finally ready to go.

now i am so excited to see the boy, i could pee in my dress...

because i have a lot to say and share, i have decided to break up the wedding day post into parts. if you are willing to read along, i love you for it. if not, i am ok with you just creepin' out the pictures-it's how i read books my entire childhood and throughout most of high school. if you aren't interested at all, i also don't mind. hasta la wago.

{part one}

i have finally composed my thoughts enough, re-lived the day in my mind enough, and shared enough stories with family and friends to re-cap my wedding day. it's hard to believe it was almost a month ago...i kind of refuse to believe it.

the night before the wedding we had our family and friends do a quick run through at the hall, and then we headed to a sweet little restaurant called {corks} in niagara on the lake for dinner and drinks. we gave our wedding party their gifts {my girls received clutches i had made for them by the cutest aussie girl on etsy, and the boys were given pewter tie clips with a ship design on them, as well as the skinny ties they would wear at the wedding, both also off etsy}. are you sensing a theme here?

we had a fabulous time at dinner, and amazingly, i became even more excited for the wedding. we said our goodbyes (i even got a quick smooch from the boy) and then floated to {cecile's house}, the b&b my mom, bridesmaids and i stayed in, which was just around the corner. i mentioned the b&b in a post when i first booked, and was so excited for our stay based on photos alone-but being there in real life was no comparison. every single detail in that home was incredible on every level. the owner (the most adorable french man named chris) made us feel welcomed and treated us like royalty-from the use of the home to get ready, to the gourmet breakfast i ate with my bridesmaids and mom the morning of the wedding, complete with freshly made croissants in house, i could not have asked for one thing more. it was perfect.

by the time i closed my eyes and got my head on the pillow, it was morning and my eyes were opening as i ran to the window to see what the sky was like. {the weather network} promised it was going to be grey and rainy, and mother nature made true on her word. bummed, but not going to let it get me down, we scarfed down our fancy pants breakkie and started getting ready. half of us split up to head to the hall, and the other half stayed back to start showering and getting their hair and makeup did. my mom begged me not to go to the hall. begged me to let the florist, decorator and caterer take care of the last minute details, but i reminded her i was her daughter, laughed in her face, and headed out the door.

by the time i got to the venue, the clouds had started to break and the sun was shining like i had threatened it with its life. we hustled and bustled through all the finishing touches--the paper heart garlands paul and i had made, the memory table and my rockin' robin guestbook table, doilies here and cafe string lights there. my dad and nonno even assembled the arbour we would get married under, and the door frame they had made for us. everything came together before my eyes, and reassured me that all the hard work put in by everyone i love was going to make this day the most amazing of my life-rain or not.

my bridesmaid cass told me i had to leave the hall by 11:00, and i reluctantly agreed. when she came to me at 10:58 to tell me it was time to leave, i told her i said ok to 11 but was actually staying until 11:30 and she couldn't tell me no as "i was the bride". i only used this line once. ok. maybe twice. but both times it was in the best interest for those around me. they finally dragged me away, and drove me back to the b&b to start getting ready. a piece of my heart broke as i watched the hall fade away from the car window...i wanted to stay until it was fully finished, perfectly prepared with not one last thing to do....but as the bride, i guess i had an obligation to show up looking half decent, and my tights and beater just weren't gonna do it. although paulie wouldn't have gave two shits.

i have posted a few of the "details" shots taken by my photographer, family and friends (thank you auntie sylvia, jordy, steph and candice)-they make me a happy girl.

to be continued..............

my heart is pounding through my chest and i am pretty confident my brain has not stopped in days. i'm crying one moment and smiling like an idiot the next.

my to-do lists get crossed off, re-written, checked once, twice and then again for good luck...but they never seem to end. and just when i think there isn't another thing i need to buy from {michael's}, i'm back in the parking lot cursing myself.

i have to remind myself to eat and sleep. remind myself to stop looking at the {weather network} because they don't know what they are talking about anyways. remind myself to be nice to those who are helping me most and take it all in. however i haven't needed to remind myself how excited i am....funny that.

tomorrow is an indulgent day at the nail salon and packing my bags for my friday night slumber party and then the wedding day itself in {niagara on the lake}. i'm also popping over to my nonna's neighbours to cut fresh blush pink peonies for my rehearsal dinner and petal cones. i'm spoiled, i know. i have the boys in my life running all over hell's half acres tomorrow, but at this point, i need to delegate that for the sake of my sanity. and everyone else's.

people keep asking me "do you feel like you're in a dream right now"....and a very big part of that is true. as much work and stress as this has all been, i have never been happier in my whole life. i have everyone i care for surrounding me with unconditional love, help and support--and i don't know that there is anything more i could want then that.

oh. and i get to marry paulie. i get to be his wife. his go-to girl. his friend. his rock. his old lady. have i mentioned i just may be the luckiest girl in the world?

i have loved every moment of planning my wedding. it has turned into the most extraordinary thing i have ever done, and will always be a time in my life that i look back on and long for. i have loved all the kind words and friends that have come from sharing this journey as an online journal, and have never once wanted to stop writing, stop creating or stop sharing. thank you for reading along and letting me know you have enjoyed it too. it has meant the whole wide world to me.

farewell....or ariva derchi as they say in italy ;)

always with love,
'acowleyVERYsoontobe'
amanda
xoxo

alright, we're getting down to the nitty gritty now!

since the day the boy put a ring on it i have been dying for this week to come. counting the number of sleeps left, celebrating the 11th of each month with a heart around the date, and a special smooch for paul, i couldn't wait to say "i'm getting married this week!". now it's here, and i can't even move my eyeballs to the right side of the screen when i am on this site. i can see the tip of the "4" out of the corner of my eye and my heart starts beating through my chest and i instantly need a shot of tequila.

it's a combo of good nerves vs. bad nerves. i feel like i need a wee bit of stress in my life to keep the fire lit under my ass and get the items checked off my list, but i am also trying to keep calm and carry on. i want to enjoy every moment and take it all in....but there have been moments over the last few days when something comes up, the crazy amanda makes an appearance, and the "take it all in, enjoy every moment" theory is about as practical of an option as shaving my head.

i am however, feeling MUCH better after this weekend. i wanted to accomplish an entire list of things, and we were able to get that done and spend time with our overseas guests. two of paul's uncles, his aunt and his cousin arrived on saturday from scotland and england, and i love having them around. a crazy bunch, they treat me like i have always been a part of the family, and put the best smile on paul's face. i am so thankful we have them here for our special day, and the days leading up to it. plus my scottish improves by the minute when they’re around. i’m almost fluent now.

i have become pretty well addicted to {the weather network} and check it when i wake up, on my lunch breaks and before i go to bed. sometimes it makes me smile from ear to ear, and other times it makes me want to scream. at the end of the day, i can’t control it, but i have my fingers, toes and eyeballs crossed it’s going to be a lovely day. our friends and family have also become “weather creepers” and send me status updates when there is a little sun showing on the 11th. they are too cute.

4 days. holy shit.

i finally can sort my thoughts enough to highlight some of my favourite moments from my bachelorette party this weekend. we had 4 days jam packed to the tits with everything you could think of--from the most amazing cottage i have ever/will ever see in my life, 16 fabulous women, delicious meals and way too much to drink, campfires, dock tanning and of course, the party itself.

saturday night was designated as the "dirty night" and let me tell you, it was filthy. i walked into the cottage (ok more like stumbled) to find it had been transformed into a sexy little party-pink streamers, photos on the line, banners and a clothesline of the cutest lingerie. once dinner was finished we went straight into dessert: a tray of shots and lots of games.

the first game involved me guessing which girl purchased which piece of lingerie-if i guessed wrong, i had to take a shot, if i guessed right, the girl who purchased the item had to take a shot. needless to say, with 16 pieces to guess, shit got crazy. how am i supposed to know the girl i always thought was sweet and innocent (to remain anonymous) was gonna pull out the big guns and buy me crotchless panties and nipple pasties?? heavens to betsy, i feel like i have a sex shop living in my underwear drawer.

they also had paul answer a list of questions that i had to guess his answers to. if i guessed wrong...another shot. i thought i knew that kid inside and out! we moved onto the {hot dog game} which includes tying a hot dog to a string and then around your waist, standing over a plate of thumbtacks, and slammin' that wiener into the tacks to stick as many as you can to the dog. my my my, the men in my girls lives are LUCKY BOYS.

last but not least - we "pinned the dink on dexter". i could not have thought of a better man to grope while blind folded with a cut out of a penis in my hands. sweet baby jesus. apparently we busted into the most serious dance party we have ever had, and danced the night away. bits and pieces of the night have come creepin' back to me over the last few days, but i would be lying if i said every detail of the night is crystal clear.

what i do know, is that i had way too much fun this weekend, and am so lucky to have these ladies in my life. i couldn't have asked for more this past weekend, and i KNOW they enjoyed themselves too.

ps. I LOVE JORDY HORNE!!!!

it has been said, that if you ask a person what their LEAST favourite part of a wedding is, 9 times out of 10, they will say speeches. i can't promise this statistic is true, or has been proven in anyway, as it was said by one of our mc's chris, but he is more confident about this then anything.

i however, disagree completely.

my MOST favourite part of a wedding, is the speeches. i love the idea that they are written with care, (usually), said with heart (usually) and are one of those few times in life when you can say how you really feel about someone, and not feel self-conscious about it, or worry that you are coming off too mushy or lovey dovey (usually). it's your moment to say the things you might not normally say, to those who mean something to you, on one of the most important days of their life.

i know this isn't everyone's cup of tea-in fact paul is dreading saying a speech more than anything he has ever had to do in his entire life. part of me wants to put the kid out of his misery and tell him to just scrap the whole idea....and the other part feels like you only get to do this once; make the most of it. i on the other hand have been planning my speech for years. lol. every time i think of something i want to say to him, or our wedding party, or our family, i write it down, and i am really excited to take all my love notes, and put them together to tell a story.

each person in our wedding party has offered to speak, and i am so eager to hear what they have to say. knowing them, there will be lots of laughs, and lots of love. and although i am not expecting anything in particular, i know this will be an emotional moment during the day, and i am so ready for it.

ps-two weeks to go. really?

i'm scared.

no. seriously. i'm scared. it's paulie's bachelor bash this weekend and i am scared shitless that my sweet, shy, cool with a pub and a dart board, innocent boy, is going to come back to me tainted, dirty, used and abused. i'm scared he's going to pull a "hangover" on my ass and come home with third degree burns all over his body. or missing a tooth. or have a tattoo on his face. (k. that would be hilarious). but i'm still scared.

tomorrow he leaves with over 10 of his buddies for {boston}. (ps-i am so jealous he is going to boston without me. we have tried to plan a boston weekend for years now and it has never happened). all i know of the plan, is that they are going to a baseball game (surprise, surprise) which paul is VERY excited for, and will probably eat and drink. a lot. as much as i trust paul, and know he would NEVER do anything stupid, i can't help but have butterflies in my stomach. we all know what boys do at bachelor parties, and i would be dumb to think his buddies wouldn't involve that lovely little tradition. i can't tell him he can't do something, but i can feel a certain way about it.

and this is how i feel.

i give kudos to girls who can let go and are totally fine with their man going to a strip club...sitting in pervert's row, literally inches away from a stripper's disease infested lady business, i am not one of those girls, and paul knows it. i am not cool with him attending a "gentleman's club" and could literally cry just thinking about it. they just gross me right out, and kind of make me angry. lol. "ummm....no, you can't go spend our hard earned money supporting a pseudo-prostitute's drug habits, there are purses for me to buy and manicures i could be spending that money on". harsh, i know. but come on girls, there are lots of jobs out there that don't involve naked gymnastics in front of married, taken and committed men. wow. glad i could get that off my chest.

as much as i want him and his "boys" to have the best time this weekend, a part of me does pray that paul's buddies get him good and drunk the first night, put him on the roof of their hotel, and leave him there until monday morning. fingers crossed.

i've said it before and i'll say it again-how did i get so lucky?

honestly, there are days in a girl's life when you just sit back and think "holy shit...this is really happening to me right now". a first kiss. realizing you have fallen in love. {saying yes}. a bridal shower. days i can remember in detail; days i will never forget.

yesterday was one of those days.

it poured here as it has been for what seems like years and i was bummed for about four seconds before i realized-it's only fitting to rain the day of my shower. it piss poured the day of our {stag and doe} as well, so for the wedding, we are free and clear. nothing but blue skies and shining sun, we've paid our dues and mother nature has an "i.o.u" with our name on it. that little bitch.

anyways. my day started and i was pretty calm, cool and collected. i owe that to my girlfriend lindsay who came to my home, did my hair, chatted me through my make-up and brought me to the shower. she was easy breezy with me and got me even more excited for the day then i already was. she told me i look like a bride, through a smile from ear to ear. she's a peach.

we got to the hall with hardly any time to spare before my guests arrived. i walked into the room and wasn't at all prepared for it to take my breath away. doilies, pink tissue poms, lace, vintage glass, fresh flowers, mix and match that with match and mix this. gold frames, pictures of paul and i, sweets, favours and an antique tea cup and saucer for each lady to sip tea from. every last detail was chosen with care, thought and love-and you could see it...and feel it.

every wish i made to be able to help plan the day went out the window with each step i took into the room. everywhere i looked i saw a little bit of each of my girls. miss jennifer b here and cass there. laura under this and julia on that. i knew who thought of what and knew why too. but mixed in with these four beautiful girls, was me too. plain as day to see, this was MY bridal shower. no ifs, ands or buts.

the tears welled up and i got out a quick ugly cry before the rest of the guests arrived. we sat down to a delicious served meal, which was my mom's main concern. i understand her italian needs, and was so appreciative she chose the venue she did as i scarfed down each bite. she had her bridal shower at the same place 27 years ago...it was a special moment for us. we played a few very sweet games throughout the afternoon, and gave away the cutest prizes. paulie even made an appearance with our groomsmen ricky, and a stunning bouquet of fresh white flowers. i didn't see him walk in, but probably could have heard the girls swoooon his entrance from mars. he's a good man.

i opened presents while sitting in an antique chair and was blown away by everyone's incredibly generous gifts. we received some kitchen items, euros to be spent on our honeymoon in italy, cash gifts and something very special from my bridesmaids. i was spoiled with a set of the prettiest pearl earrings from {birks} and a book they had made and bound of our engagement photos. it includes our favourite quotes, lyrics to our first dance, and the poem being read during our ceremony. it is the most thoughtful, creative, beautiful gift i have ever received, and i can't say what it means to me.
simply, i love it.

the day went by in a flash and the next thing i knew i was sitting on the couch with paul. my mind still racing from moment to moment i replayed the day in my head and took a minute to savor how i was feeling. still now, i am overwhelmed by all the hard work, time, care and love that my bridesmaids, mom and paul's mom put into one of the most special days in my life. i don't have words to express my gratitude and appreciation, and hugs and smiles just aren't enough. i think they know how thankful i am by the way i felt yesterday, i hope they could feel that from me. "simply said from the heart...thank you".

~i love each of you forever, always and then some more~

i am so pumped to say that my wedding invitations are no longer in my possession or in control of my brain. stuffed, stamped and shipped the hell out, they now take up residence in our guests homes.
having made their way through the hands of almost everyone i love, these invitations were an all-consuming, all-controlling, all-everything part of my life, and as over the moon as i am with how they turned out, i can finally move onto the other crafts and projects i have been dying to work on.

when i made a deal with the devil (aka paulie) to make our invitations in exchange for our amazing videographer, i never realized what i was signing up for. i thought a max of 2 or 3 craft dates, maybe $150 dollars and i would send out the baddest invitations i could possibly dream of. i was so wrong it ain't funny. if i made an educated guess, i would say a total of 45-50 hours were spent turning a few stacks of scrapbook paper, a roll of lace and some photo booth pictures into the invitations we sent our guests. although i tried to pull the dutch out of me and purchase all my supplies when on sale (god bless {michael's} and their frequent 40% off sales and online coupons) i still spent approximately $400 on the materials needed.

sending them out was the biggest fiasco of the wedding planning process thus far. we stamped them, brought them to the post office to ensure there was enough postage on them, and of course, the girl there advised there wasn’t. we spent 10 minutes at the counter putting another stamp on them, dropped them into the bin, and were advised they would be sent out around 4pm the next day. cue the next afternoon. i had two more invitations to drop off as i wasn’t positive about the addresses i had written out. at another post office location, i handed over the last two invites to the clerk, and said a prayer of thanks. “ok miss, i just need to grab a few more stamps to put on these”. “ummm….exsqueeze me? i already added extra postage” i told the girl at the counter. “oh. it’s not enough. have you sent out any others?” she asked me. “yes. but only 78 others” i said, about 2 seconds away from punching her in the smile. “yeah. those are all going to come back to you. and that usually takes some time. then you have to put the right amount of postage on them, and then send them out again”. i turned around, left the store, got into my car and started screaming like a mad woman. i’m pretty sure the old couple in the car next to me were too terrified to get out in case i started my car and drove over them.

so i called my mom. like i was 4 years old.

LUCKILY, she works two stores down from the post office i dropped all my invites off to the night before. remembering i had until 4pm before they were shipped out, i sent my mother on a wild goose chase-pick up the envelopes, weigh them (again), threaten the girl at the counter with her life, buy more stamps, add the postage, realize she didn’t have all of them, go back to the post office, pick up the missed envelopes, buy more stamps, add them to the envelopes, bring them all back, threaten the girl (again) and drop them off for good. ciao. peace. hasta la wago. arrivederci.

i have to thank the amazing people who helped me make the wedding invitations of my dreams. my mom, bridesmaids and fabulous girlfriends-you never once said "amanda, this is going to take an entire work week of hours plus some OT to complete, can we dumb it down a wee bit?". you poured me wine and fed me chips and smiled your way through every snip of your scissors and peel and stick square. you are all such hard workers and are so creative, and i love you all for that. paulie too. we spent several nights at the dining room table, baseball on the tv and a rye and coke in hand. we got through all the dirty work, and the finished product speaks for itself. if you get the chance to make your own wedding invitations, i say go for it. the satisfaction of knowing no one else will ever have anything like it is worth the work all day long.

one bit of advice: no drinks on the table when crafting.

"if i was the bride, there would be a no drinks on the table rule. but that's only if i was the bride"

can we talk about something real quick?

how is it that you can stick a wedding band on a boy, and all of a sudden he is 300% cuter? what is it about that little ring of gold that makes me (and a lot of girls) weak in the knees? one word: commitment. and it is damn sexy.

a wedding band screams "this boy has balls!". he's not scared to say he’s taken-hell, he might even change his relationship status on facebook. it's the whole idea that he has found that one girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with...oh, and that girl is me.

i knew that finding paul's band was going to be difficult. i had spent the first few months of our engagement working on convincing him he HAD to get one. "cant i just get a cheap sterling silver one? or one out of a bubble gum machine?". i think my eyes piercing through his skull made him realize this was not an option, and it was time to put his big boy pants on and deal with it.

once he knew what he DIDN'T want, we began the hunt. who knew it would take 5 stores more than i tried to find it. we even started telling the associate's working at the jewelry store that "we want the most plain, simple, non-shiny wedding band you have in the store". it made me laugh to see them have to go to the back room, or the drawer UNDER the display case to find something so boring, they don't even bother to display it. after looking at over 50 rings, he finally made a commitment. and oddly enough, it was the first one he tried on, and was purchased at the same store i found mine.

as painful as it is to deal with his indecisiveness and inability to commit within a reasonable time (ahem almost 7 years of dating before a proposal) he ends up making the perfect decision for him, and i like that. his wedding band is EXACTLY what i had been picturing all along, and looks really nice on him. it is white gold with an unpolished finish and is trimmed with a beaded band on each side. it isn't too thick or chunky, and sits flush on his finger. he hates having it on, but he'll just have to learn to like it now won't he? cause that baby ain't ever coming off.

as much as it doesn't matter to him but totally matters to me, it looks very nice next to mine. almost like a "his" and "hers" set, they are simple but elegant, clean and classic. i had a 20 minute photo shoot with them last night, and couldn't get over the fact that in one month, they will be on our hands.

the last piece of the puzzle is figuring out what to have inscribed inside his band. i have a few options i am toying with, but can't seem to commit to one. i guess i have picked up whatever disease paulie has. we made a deal to inscribe something into each of our bands, and on the day of the wedding, take 5 minutes to ourselves after the ceremony to see what we had put into each of our rings. it's an excuse to add another element of surprise, and spend some time together, just us, to soak it all in.

as you can imagine, coming up with something to put in my band is not as exciting for paul as it is for me. when i first asked him to entertain the idea, he gave me some grief and finally said, in that sneaky jack-ass tone "ok, i know what i am going to have inscribed in your ring. how does 'one ring to rule them all' sound to you?". once i realized the {lord of the rings} reference, i gave him the death stare i have perfected and told him i would be mortified if he ever did that to me and "my precioussss", and would probably divorce his ass the day of the wedding. "how embarrassing would it be for me AND you if anyone ever saw that inside my band?" i asked him.

"oh don't worry" he told me.
"i would have it written in ancient elfish, no one would ever know that's what it said".

kill me now.

i think sometime this week when i wasn't looking, someone lit a match under paulie's ass, cause that kid has been allll over the wedding plans. i even had an excel spreadsheet emailed to me tuesday morning, outlining everything that needs to be completed for the wedding, the date it's to be completed and who is to complete it.

i know. unreal.

this week has been VERY productive. invitations are completed and in the mail (more on that later. a fiasco, they require a post of their own), favour tags are 85% done and we completed one of my favourite projects to date: our photo booth props!

a few months ago i stumbled upon these amazing props while perusing the sweetest blog called {lovely indeed}. written with love, chelsea refers to her blog as "the comings and goings of a diy bride". she also happens to live in new york and performs on broadway.

i know. unreal.

i attempted her 'striped photo booth props' and am over the moon with how they turned out! i would post my own step by step instructions, but i followed chelsea's directions found here, and they came out perfectly.

i attached a few photos of our finished product and the supplies needed to complete this {diy}. a few tips would be to use a template to cut out your mustaches and lips. i used this one, which chelsea included when she had her project featured on {ruffled}. as well, instead of painting my dowels white, i used white floral tape to wrap them with. mainly because i am too impatient to wait for paint to dry. i also suggest you have some of your cutest friends help you test out the finished product.

my pooch {india} and meow-meow {lennon} were perfect models.





i know. unreal.

the plan is to use these bad boys for photos and in the make-shift photo booth that will be rockin' at the reception! check out chelsea's pretty little blog, i promise you will agree it is 'lovely indeed'.

first thing's first. i'm getting married next month. hang on, i gotta grab a fresh pair of panties.

that's better. on to the next.

i have posted in the past (a time or two) some love notes about my photographer turned friend turned soul mate {nataschia wielink}. our friendship has evolved into a "wedding romance" and i can honestly say that she has made my wedding planning experience even more wonderful than i could have imagined. paul says "you two are on the same page eh?" and i tell him if you look us up in the phone book, although listed alphabetically, we are indeed, on the same page.

that being said, i am thrilled to share something fun she is working on with the amazing girls at {allure hair & makeup} here in niagara. allure is a mobile hair and makeup service that caters to weddings and special events all over the region. they come to you-which is a crazy smart idea! the girls are really fun to work with, giggly and enthusiastically, they turn you into a model for the day, helping you to bring out your inner tyra. god bless their little cotton socks.

together, allure and nataschia are offering "boutique" services to brides-to-be, single or taken ladies and any girl who wants to get down with her bad self. you get made up and then photographed by a fabulous team of pros. they are calling it the {pretty woman} series, and it is just that.

i was lucky enough to be asked to “model” for the promotion of this series, and was spoiled rotten by this stellar team of ladies. i can't tell you how amazing the day was. mimosa's to calm your nerves, hair, make-up and wardrobe changes, perfect props and sexy sets-all you need to make up the ultimate "little black book" for your man-or yourself.

(shhhh…..earlier this year, natashica and i spent the afternoon in her studio creating my own "lil' black book" to give to paulie the morning of the wedding. it was the most incredible day, and i honestly feel like when he cracks that bad boy open, his pants will fit different and he is going to think he is marrying a {victoria secret} model. k. probably not. but that's how i felt!).

what a unique way to celebrate your sexy self and share it with the person who makes you feel that way the most. if you are lucky enough to live in niagara, check out either www.allurehairandmakeup.com or www.nwphotoblog.com to sign up for your own {pretty woman} session.

and if you wanna see the series done of yours truly, pop on over to nataschia's blog and have yourself a look see.

meeee-owww!!!

i have to admit, the constant buzz around {the royal wedding} for the last few weeks has not interested me in the least, and for someone who loves weddings, and is getting married in a few short weeks, you would think i was all over it like flies on shit. i'm not quite sure what it was, maybe a combination of things, but i just couldn't get into the whole thing.

i'm ashamed to admit that at first there was a chip on my shoulder about it (and it wasn't dill pickle, trust me, i would have ate it up right quick). here i am in my 17th month of engagement, after 7 years of dating, yet kate and willy can get engaged in novemeber, and marry 5 months later in april? how is this fair? oh because they are royalty and have more money than god. that's why. (as exciting as that is, i am cherishing every day, week and month of my engagement...and wouldn't want it any other way).

and i don't know why, but my heart goes out to kate. as crazy as it sounds...i almost feel bad for her. i want to sit down and ask her if this is what she has always pictured her wedding to be like. as a little girl, did she ever in her wildest dreams imagine the whole world watching her, with curious, judging eyes, on the most {loving} {romantic} {intimate} {selfless} day of her life? i get it. she knew what she was getting into the day she met willy. and the day she said yes she would marry him. still, i wonder how she would do this if she could do it any way she wanted.

all that crazy talk aside, there is no denying that she looks like a princess in every photo taken of her today. her smile is genuine and so is the light in her eyes. you can see she is nervous, but holds herself together with grace and class and poise. and i like how william looks at her...like a husband should look at his wife. her dress is exceptional...there is a special place in my heart for a lace detailed gown. she has also confirmed for me that i will walk down the aisle with my veil over my face. i was debating back and forth, but nothing says "bride" to me more than that.

i didn't set my alarm to wake up and watch the wedding, and i realized i should have set my pvr as i was crawling into bed to my own prince. i feel blessed to get to do this with him the way i always imagined. when i picture my wedding day, i picture paul: no one and nothing else. his smile and eyes. his nervousness and excitement.

it's just {me and him}.

i wish them a long and happy marriage, always filled with love, lots of laughter and the happiest days.

i have made a conscious decision to put my "wedding brain" aside for the week (it truly is a miracle and i am so proud of myself), so i can focus on other things currently making me happy. the season wants to change so badly it hurts, my sandal collection is back in rotation, i have purchased 2 dresses for {italy} and i am loving the idea of writing a letter to my 17 year old self. my cousin candice recently posted her letter on her hilarious blog {baked in vancouver}, and it inspired me to take a semi-painful look back at 17 year old amanda. oh heavens. she ain't pretty.

words of wisdom: from me. to me.

dear amanda,

if you are reading this with a chocolate bar in your hands, put that shit down right now. contrary to popular belief, chocolate DOES cause zits, and that there chocolate bar is the reason your face is covered in them. it’s also the reason why daddy calls you "pizza face". continuing to devour every {skor} bar in sight, will not help with the boy situation.

speaking of boys. you will have a boyfriend in the near future, so stop freaking out on mom and dad for not letting you date until you were 16. yes it's been a year and leads are dryer than a popcorn fart in a wind storm, but he is coming around. summer of 2000 is good to you. oh. and your first kiss is really good, but there are no fireworks or gospel choirs singing 'hallelujah". just a little {matt good} and a lot of braces.

i don't want to tell you not to go to university, so i will tell you this instead: at 27, you are still having nightmares about your first and only year in that hell hole. the smell, the size, the other students and the professor's. the only good news, is you work your ass off all summer and don't have any debt when it comes to post-secondary. do with this info as you will.

i am proud of you for sticking to your guns and remaining incredibly (and almost excruciatingly) straight edge throughout most of high school. your love for pop and chip parties lives on and i know you are a better person today, for having the balls to say no to booze and drugs. trust me. what you missed in high school, you make up for 100 times over later on. you bad girl.

a few quick things:
~you will eventually grow boobs. so stop worrying that your back and chest will forever look equally flat.
~the pharmacy is the best job you ever have-enjoy every moment and stop being afraid of you-know-who. he totally likes you now.
~the girls will one day become your bridesmaids. but you already knew that.

oh.

yes paul cowley is super cute in his uniform cardigan, shaggy hair cut and awkwardly skinny body-and in 2 years from now, when you get shit-faced off a mickey of vodka together at arksey's for his 19th birthday, go for it. he's equally shit-faced and will totally kiss you back. you go girl. (fun fact: he's going to stick around a lot longer then you expected. and if you think you like him now, you ain't seen nothing yet).

love,
amanda
xoxo

the fact that i am alive to sit here and write this post is proof that miracles can happen. it is possible to plan, execute AND survive your own {stag and doe} without breaking down and crying (more than once. ok. twice), killing someone/yourself in the process or losing every last hair on your head.

my first post about planning the stag and doe was one of pure excitement and joy. not one concern or worry, i was a free bird running with every last thought in my little head. i had friends and family reassuring me that this {stag and doe} was going to be a complete success. but if i would have wrote a post about the stag and doe last week at this time, it would have went something like this:

"SIBHWEG80NWTBPDB14...SH*T..81590-285N..FU*K!!!WOINF55163"

if you know what this means. kudos to you. you're as effed up as i am.

now that the event is over (tear) i can breathe again. eat again. and sleep again. i feel like someone hooked up a vacuum to my head and drained away all things {stag and doe} related. except the memories.

the day went VERY smoothly. almost too smooth. i was just waiting for something terrible to go wrong and screw me over in the worst way. but it never happened-fancy that. we spent the morning and better part of the afternoon stocking up the bar fridges with beer and booze, loaded up three banquet tables with all the fabulous prizes our family and friends collected for us and set up all our games-including the dart game which was hilarious and plinko which was a huge success. once the venue was loaded up, we added the finishing touches (the best part) and all the other details that made our baseball theme work, including the popcorn machine-which made the bar smell amazing, the hot dog stand-which was a hit and pretty well sold out and our "box office" complete with a vintage cash register.

after running around like chicken's with our heads cut off, we all headed home to get into our game gear and relax for a bit. back to the venue by 6:00 we prepared for our guests to arrive and made sure everything was in place. the rest of the night is ALMOST a complete blurr. i looked at my watch a few times-once at 8:45pm and the next thing i knew it was 10:30pm. i must have hugged and said hello to every single person in the joint. smiling from ear to ear (my jaw honestly hurt the next day) the only times i have ever been happier was the day the boy put a ring on it, and the evening of our engagement photos.

we pinky swore each other that day that we would make a point to find one another throughout the night to take a picture together a sneak a couple smooches. seeing how happy he was that night makes me even more excited for the big day-i love nothing more than seeing him smile like that.

we estimate that between 400 and 450 of our favourite people made their way through the doors of the {moose and goose} saturday night. friends we see all the time, and some we haven't seen in years. friends we knew would come, and some we never would have expected. 37 cases of beer, 25 bottles of booze and enough food to feed every last person later, and we can say we survived our {stag and doe}. but we know that NEVER would have happened if it wasn't for all the love, support, dedication and crazy hard work of our parents, family, wedding party and friends.

we have friends and family that should all be awarded with medals of honour, bravery and courage for having spent as much time with me that they did, in the state i was in, and let me live to see another day. our friends and family are a group of people cut from a very special cloth. how in a world so big, we all found each other and came together is one of life's little mysteries. and i am thankful for each and every one of them. every day.

i am usually the one who plan's the surprise/secret parties in my family. i LOVE to see the reaction on someone's face when they walk through the door of my home...or a restaurant, and see everyone they love in one room, gathered to celebrate them and a special day in their life.

handing this over was hard for me to do. like real hard.

i could lie and say that the thought of having no say in my wedding shower was something i was comfortable with, but anyone who knows me knows that is a monster of a lie, and one that's not worth telling. i wear my emotions on my sleeve. and my lapel. and my collar. and worse than that: my face.

however i have put total faith and trust into the little hands of some of the most amazing women in my life. my mom, my future mother in law, and my fabulous bridesmaids. they have taken on the daunting task of planning and executing my bridal shower (poor things). normally those words would make me cringe....but i have accepted this and am trying to embrace it. i say "trying" because i would have a hard time letting even {martha stewart} herself plan my shower.

what i know of the shower so far: the date. the location. the time. the food-everything else is a total and complete mystery. k that's a lie. i also know what the invitations look like, but it took a while for me to get it out of them and was inevitable. it's hard to go to anyone in my family's home without seeing it on the fridge or counter.

not surprisingly, the invitations are stunning. pretty, girlie, fresh and VERY amanda. i have even had family who isn't aware i am not in complete control of every aspect of this event tell me they love them and that i did a great job on them. little do they know the sneaky sneaky behind it all. how pretty are these?



i guess all i have to worry about now is what i will be wearing that day. another "little white dress" in my wardrobe isn't going to hurt anyone. oh, and new heels. and purse. and accessories.

ps - please don't let this post make me look like an ungrateful snot. i am truly thankful for every single thing that has been and will be done for my shower, and my girlie's know that :)

last night was my first dress fitting-i know, so very exciting. i picked up {marilyn} from the bridal salon, grabbed my bridesmaid cass, and we made our way to the seamstresses house. i slipped into my gown and stared myself down in the mirror. still in love? check. still fits? check. ass? check. tits?... tits?....tits?

now, i knew that planning a wedding would force me to make some seriously tough decisions. venue, food, guest list, invitations...the dress. all those little details that make the overall big picture a seamless masterpiece.

however, never in my wildest dreams did i anticipate losing sleep over such a silly little detail: wedding tits. you heard me. how to handle my hammers. my knockers. thelma and louise. oprah and gayle. my sweater meat. after all, they are a serious accessory and can totally make or break the way i look that day.

for example, if i decided to show up in this on the day of the wedding:



it may generate a little more "chat chitting" amongst our guests. but if i decided to show this much on the day of the wedding:



paul may wonder if i have decided to forgo marriage and join a convent instead.

having been blessed with what i like to call "perky c's" i have options when it comes to how much 'ice time' i want the girls to have that day. i'm not opposed to a classic, tasteful amount of cleavage...but can't decide exactly how much that is. the cups i fell in love with when i picked up my dress now kind of scare me. they honestly change the game entirely. my nonno is going to be there for christ sakes! and do i want people looking at my face, or at my chest? i already know where paul's "holy shit eyes" will be if those cups make the cut-he's a boob man, and i can't take that away from him. lol. perhaps this will have to be a game time decision. for now i will take my {moh} julia's advice, and try not to get my "tits in a tangle".

and maybe, just maybe, i will continue having dreams about standing at the altar and a tit pops out of my dress. and while cutting the cake. and during the first dance. and then again as we leave for the night-just to be sure everyone has had a good look.

alrighty.

now that i feel like a total stalker, i am fairly confident i have found the perfect representation of how i would like my makeup 'did' for the wedding.

my eyes are basically crossed after spending waaaay too much time perusing the internet and checking out about a million broads and their makeup choices. some looked like their faces were literally painted on and could be removed at the end of day as a single sheet and put back on the next morning. others were done up a little too innocent for my taste, and with my luck, would probably end up falling off half way through the day-how does that happen by the way? i could apply what feels like 4 pounds of makeup in the morning, and by dinner time, it looks like i have washed and scrubbed my face clean with a loofa. nothing left. where does it go??? someone, please tell me.

anyways, i finally found the loveliest, prettiest, freshest bridal makeup...and am so excited to try out a version of this bad boy on my own mug. my dear friend {tammy} will be doing my makeup for the wedding, and i have full confidence in her and her talent. tammy has done my makeup before, once for paul's sister's wedding, and once for a photo shoot i had done. both times i felt like my skin was flawless (although it's not) yet still light and airy. which is definitely my bag-and more than mine, paul's. he prefers me with a bit of blush and some juicy lip gloss...and that's about it. my goal is to look like a prettier version of my natural self. fingers crossed.

tell me how pretty this bride is? holy stunning.



i love her dewy skin, plumy-mocha eye, just the right amount of liquid liner, glossy lip and amaaaazing lashes. i will be spending a million dollars on the longest, most luscious, flirty {mac} lashes and will love every minute of wearing them. i may just end up batting them at paul so much i give myself a seizure, but i'll look DAMN good while doing it.

eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

cheers! mangia! cheers! mangia! cheers! cheers! mangia! cheers!

this is pretty well how the whole wedding day will pan out, i can hear it now.....

"cheers! mangia! cheers! mangia! cheers! cheers! mangia! cheers!"

truth is: there is no other ethnic combination that could make me happier. although i am a mutt, having a dutch father, my mother is italian and that trumps the dutch in me all day long. they (meaning italians) can't help it. over-baring, loud, stubborn and don't take "anno bully shit" (as nonna says it) my italian genes take the stage. front and center. this is both seriously amazing and seriously intense for those who do not understand italian culture. we're not yelling at you, we're just speaking loud enough for you to hear us. every last word.

couple this with the VERY scottish boy, and you have the most intense wedding imaginable. paul's family moved from scotland around 30 years ago (just a few years shy of paul being born there. it's probably for the best, if he had a scottish accent i would have mauled him to death by now). my first few years of dating paul were hard for me....i didn't realize i was going to have to learn another language to be able to spend time with his family! i almost purchased a "scottish/english" dictionary to help me through family functions, but had more fun learning what the hell everyone was saying by asking them to repeat themselves 35 times. and then pretend i knew what they had said cause i still had no clue.

fun fact: scottish ladies also speak on the louder side. this makes me SO excited for my bridal shower. i plan on wearing ear plugs.

all of this being said, the main concern of MY family was what we are going to eat. we chose a caterer that has been tried and tested at other weddings in our family, and LOVE him. he loves italian food and can pull together an amazing meal. after almost having to fight my mother, we decided on a 7 course meal. she was dead set on 8 courses, but i told her i don't want my guests eating until 11pm and then have them rolling around on the dance floor only to bail early to sleep off their meal. 7 courses will be just enough with bread, antipasto, pasta, chicken, seafood and of course, insalata ;)

the main concern of HIS family was the booze. because our wedding is being held outdoors, we have to obtain a liquor licence, and purchase our own booze. this means paul is having a hay day figuring out which beer he wants served (he's a bit of a beer snob), which scotch will be served and all the other fun jazz in between. we'll have bubbly to toast and vino flowing like water.

with these bases covered, everything else is easy peasy lemon squeezy. i can't wait to sit down with 150 of my favourite people in the world, and eat like we're italian and drink like we're scottish.

cheers! (mangia!)

13 dirty girls + dream cottage ÷ bottle of rye = my bachelorette weekend

my life is complete. my bachelorette weekend has been planned and i could not be a happier bride to be!

since the day i became engaged, my girls and i have discussed the all important bachelorette weekend. where are we going to go? what do we want to do? how crazy do we want to get and how much penis related paraphernalia can we get our hot little hands on. i don't know what it is about bachelor/bachelorette weekends and parties, but i feel like it's a last ditch effort to act like a crazy person before tying the knot. the thing is, this is how every weekend and party in my life usually goes...so a weekend dedicated to this is going to blow my brains.

the first and most obvious choice was vegas. what better place to drink as much as possible while wearing as little as possible on no sleep? i have never been to vegas (and to be honest, have never cared to go) until i became engaged and knew a bachelorette weekend would be planned. we hummed and hawed over the idea and started bouncing around some other options. miami? rent a beach house, party and shop and come home with a stellar tan for the wedding? i liked it. until the word "muskoka" was mentioned and every other idea we could have thought of suddenly didn't compare.

my maid of honour jules started the search to find the most perfect cottage online. we found some serious contenders and decided we would narrow things down until we found the perfect one to spend a weekend of craziness away in.

and then the night of my {christmas vacation celebration} rolled around. while sitting on the couch with jordy, my adorable "one day will be sister in law", decked out in her home made, hand made, made with love christmas sweater covered in candy canes and bows, says "why don't you come to my family's cottage?". long story short, her fabulous family has donated their DREAM cottage in muskoka to moi and all my favourite girlies. now, when i say dream, i mean like the "Princess Margaret Hospital draw to win the most amazing cottage" dream cottage.

it sleeps around 436 people comfortably, has all the amenities including a stunner of a shower, a kitchen that makes mine look like it was made for a doll house, and is right on the water to boot. it's magic. and i am so excited to spend the last weekend in may (which happens to be mine and paul's 8 year anniversary weekend) with my favourite girls in the world. i plan on working on my tan, eating/drinking way too much and getting my wedding speech written (most of it already is, but it sits in chunks and pieces in every notebook i own).

the only thing that could make the weekend perfect....the only thing that would be the absolute cherry on top, would be a lumberjack stripper. you heard me. only he's not hired to strip....i can picture it now.....

we get a knock at the door....a 7 foot tall specimen of a man stands there, plaid shirt, dickie work pants and size 18 work boots...axe in hand. his scruffy beard trimmed against his square jaw and his smile is so delicious you never noticed that his hands are the size of baseball mitts. he speaks "i hear you girls are having a party. i've come to make you all dinner...and then, i'm going to clean up. then i'll wash all your cars and bring you drinks while you sit on the deck and tan. and i love to give back rubs. yes, back rubs for everyone".

a girl can dream can't she?

nothing makes me want to jump the boys bones then when he wears a suit. as much as i enjoy him in a plaid shirt with his scruffy beard, put him in a muted grey, vintage fit suit, and all of a sudden my pants fit different.

a few weeks ago we made a trip to {banana republic} to see if they had anything "groom worthy". i'm pretty sure i was more excited than he was to dress him up and then drool over him. after perusing the goods, one of the salesmen came over to offer some help. now i can't be sure, but my spidey senses were definitely tingling in the "back off get your own cute boy" department. part of me wants to chalk it up to him being VERY excited about having the perfect suit to offer us, and the other part of me is pretty sure that i was one more “adjustment to paul's pant leg” away from telling "mr republic" to make like a banana and split.

wow. worst joke.

long story short, we found a clear winner. it sits on his shoulders like it was made for him. i like the way it cuts in at his sides and doesn't make him look like he is the same shape as sponge bob. the pants show off his cute little ass and sit just right on top of his shoe (dress pants that bunch up at the bottom cause they are just far too long gives me malaria). there is nothing wrong with showing a little bit of sock when you're sitting down or walking. especially when they are hot pink and have squirrels all over them.

we will finish off his look with an ivory dress shirt, matching grey vest and bow tie (as well as some other things he doesn't know about yet).

i could totally quit my job and spend my time dressing cute boys in expensive clothes.

in keeping with the "things i would do if..." series i started a while back, i decided to share one of the first ideas i fell in love with when i started stalking the wedding world online: using assorted vintage stamps to mail my wedding invitations.

i fell head over heels for this idea. so different than anything i had seen before, i loved all the beautiful stamps, the look of them when they were grouped together according to colour and style, and how each envelope would look different from one another.

so i went on a hunt for stamps, and dragged the boy to some seriously shady coin and collector shops in the area. i called ahead and found one guy who "believed he had boxes of stamps somewhere, he just had to find them". when i got to his shop, i immediately knew why he had to send a search party out for them.

i felt like i was in a scene from the movie {the labyrinth}. the part when sara and the little old lady are in the dump, and the crazy spinster tries to convince sara to take a whole bunch of crap home with her. (labyrinth is my all-time favourite movie, and it tickles me pink to make reference to it in a post. bowie was my first crush and paulie took me to see him in concert about 6 years ago. best day of my life).

anyways.

when buddy finally found the singular manila envelope of stamps he had in the entire store (boxes of stamps my ass) i found two styles that i liked. that's right. two whole styles. one of the queen, and some tacky floral iris stamp from 1988-nothing special. this is when "mr. lack-of-organizational-skills" advised me that the lovely stamps i had been pining after, were american stamps. of course. the {US} carries nature, floral and arts and crafts stamp series all the time, therefore making it very easy to collect and create the sweetest collage of stamps to address a wedding invitation-if you are american. and sending invites to americans. because you live in america. he showed me a book of all the stamps ever put out by canada post, and after 45 minutes of humming and hawing, i left his shop disappointed in canada posts lackluster assortment of wedding envelope worthy stamps. and my ocd itched the whole way out as i tried to tidy things up without the owner or paul noticing.

i decided i will stick to my stamps. some horribly boring arctic hares kissing on the lips as i am sure they do on a regular basis.

things i would do if.....

last june i gushed about

these.

the fabulous book wreaths i came across while perusing the internet for a unique alternative to the traditional fresh floral wreath.

well last night i stole 2 of my bridesmaids cass and jules, to help me create one of my favourite wedding projects to date, two of them actually. we snuggled around my dining room table and worked away like busy little bees. i had checked out a few sites that gave some great instructions on how to assemble the perfect book wreath, but we sort of took matters into our own hands, and winged it. wung it? wang it? probably not wang.

so here it is, my version of how to make book wreaths you will drool over:

{you will need}

~a bottle of wine
~a few of your fabulous friends
~a book (in my opinion, the older the better)
~glue gun
~scissors
~cardboard
~pen
~a round plate to use as a template
~satin, lace or twine to hang your wreath
~a bottle of wine

pour yourself a glass of wine.

now you need a fabulous book. i found this 75 year old encyclopedia at a book store downtown and got it for $5. i liked the size of the pages, the way the edges were reddened and how there was both text and photos on the pages-it gave some variety and interest to the wreaths.



using the plate you have chosen, trace a circle on the cardboard and cut it out-this will be the base of your wreath. i covered mine in book pages to hide the carboard. pull out the pages of your book and start rolling them into cones and secure them with a dab of hot glue. if you want to make them all uniform or in varying sizes, it will affect the overall look of your wreath. once you have them all made, you can start assembling them on your cardboard base.



once you start adding your cones, it's just a matter of filling it all in until you are happy with the final look. we rested the cones where we thought we wanted them to make sure we liked the shape we were getting, and then used a hot glue gun to hold them in place. if you have a pooch around, they are good for licking up scrap paper and quick cuddle sessions. pour another glass of wine already!



to finish off the wreath, cassie came up with a swanky little fan detail that we put in the center and tidied everything up. we glued a band of lace to the back of the frame and will use it to hang them at the wedding. when paul isn't home, i plan on adding one of our "c" scrabble tiles to the center. it's from the deluxe edition so the tiles are mahogany and really compliment the rusty edges of the pages. if he asks, i picked up the tile from the flea market. voila!



i LOVE how they turned out and am SO proud of the girlies and myself. the entire project cost me less than $10 bones (which was less than the bottle of wine) and will help add that vintage touch i love so much.

i love arts and crafts.

it's my birthday. another year older. another year wiser. another year closer to building the life i have always wanted for myself and the lucky man i get to share it with.

this past year has made me realize so many things, i can't even begin to explain. i said goodbye to some and hello to others. i learned to speak my mind when i have to, and more importantly shut my mouth when i have to. i learned to pick my battles-some fights are not worth fighting. (i think paul and i argued 2 times this past year and both times we apologized and moved on before the fight could hit the 20 minute mark). i learned that good love is hard to find, but when you do, you hang on to that shit for dear life. i learned my family is my world and that my friends make it go round. i learned i want to have children with paul and be the best mama i can for them. i learned i love my job and would miss it and everyone i work with if i ever left. i learned i can't stop from getting older...but can embrace it, treasure it...and run with it.

this morning i looked at myself in my full length mirror. i stared at my face and appreciated every laugh line. i checked out my "girls" and thanked the good lord that they are still in the same place they were last night. i told myself to start exercising and then laughed at myself for thinking something so ridiculous.

today i became a 27 year old woman. happier then i have ever been. and i am SO ready to give this year a run for it's money.

ps-it's also 100 days until the wedding. holy shit.

i am pee-in-my pants excited to be the proud owner of a 1955 {royal quiet deluxe} robin's egg blue typewriter (i call her rockin' robin) and the most hideous {honest ed's} elvis bust you have ever laid eyes on.

my life is complete.

{rockin' robin} arrived last week and was a gift from my baby brother matty. it was love at first type. smooth as a baby's ass she types like a dream-you can find me click clackin' away till the cow's come home. paul probably feels like he's living with a 1940's news reporter...i might just take up smoking menthol slims and start tawkin' in a new yawk accent.

our guest book table will house {rockin' robin}, a stack of crisp pages titled "Paul and Amanda's Happily Ever After Starts Here", and a little note, framed all pretty to inform our guests that this is our guest book and we would love for them to type us a message. i CAN'T WAIT to see what they come up.

as if the typewriter isn't enough, i picked up a little something for the stag and doe. it has become popular to have "fish insurance" as part of your event-you charge each guest a buck or two, give them a stamp as insurance that if your name/number gets called during the night, you don't have to eat a poor, little, unsuspecting, never did a thing to hurt anyone goldfish. i know. it makes me want to cry. because we're all for the goldfish and their rights, we thought we would up the ante on this lil' "insurance" game. we're rockin’ the {honest elvis} insurance. that's right. if you DON'T want to take him home, you pay for the stamp. if you don't. then strap on your blue suede shoes cause elvis is leaving the building: in your arms.

currently {rockin' robin} and {honest elvis} have taken up residence on top of my 1920's antique buffet. i get to see them each morning when i come down the stairs, rub my sleepy eyes and catch a glimpse of them both; in all their lovely, creepy, hilarious glory.

nothing is sweeter then a glass of ice cold lemonade on a warm summer day. well, maybe when it's pink, served in a mason jar, drank from a red and white paper straw and topped with a strawberry and lemon slice {i swear i don't ask for much}.

once i laid eyes on a lemonade/cocktail bar in one of my 84 editions of {martha stewart weddings} set up at an outdoor wedding, i knew this would have to be a part of mine. it is a such a fun option for everyone to cool down, and is so sweet in photos with all your guests carrying around their pretty in pink treats.

i have collected 3 large glass jars that will work perfectly to hold the punch~2 with pink raspberry and 1 with classic sunshine yellow lemonade. i'll print off some simple signs to label them, and hang them with pretty ribbon and lace.

hopefully i can find an old table or make-shift bar and top it with a lace tablecloth. line up some mason jars with the straws poking out and voila! magic. the prettiest little lemonade stand for guests to enjoy during the cocktail reception. yummy. i can taste it now.

i love that it's homemade. or handmade. or made with love.

i love that i can find anything and everything i am looking for.

i love that i can price shop for the same item and always find it cheaper.

i love that i can shop anytime of the day, anywhere, while wearing anything. or nothing.

i love the inspiration that it brings and the way one thing always leads to another. and another. and another.

i love how friendly all the sellers are, and how much they can handle individuals with obsessive compulsive disorders.

i love that i didn't know about it until about a year ago, and have told almost everyone i know about it since.

i love that my wedding is an etsy wedding.