apart from seeing the amazing sneak peeks from our photographer, i spend my time re-living our wedding day via our STELLAR video. i mentioned our videographer {dave tebbutt} when i first fell in love with him, and have only become more of a fan over time. he is cute as a bug's ear with his dimples and smile, and is incredibly talented at what he does. when i saw his face the morning of the wedding, i was instantly excited to see what he was going to put together, and i loved how he gave me some sneak peeks as the day went on to hold me over.

he brought along his friend {andrey}, another adorable boy with a camera, who helped shoot the day. they made a perfect tag team and i could feel their excitement when they got a good shot, or had a creative idea they wanted to try. i don't know how they did it, but they even convinced paul to get extra mushy with me, and made me blush as i watched paul and i literally making out back on their camera. it's like we invited them into our bedroom for frig sakes!

rather then blah blah blah on, take a peek. i think i have taken my own peek around 947 times.

Paul + Amanda // Highlights from Dave Tebbutt on Vimeo.

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Screen Shot in the Vineyard.
Dave and I checking out the goods.
i hate that all good things must come to an end. who decided that anyways?

after feeling like celebrities during our photos, we were dropped off at the venue for our reception to start. who am i kidding, the party had already started long before we got there, so our guests were rowdy and ready to eat, laugh, and have more to drink.

our wedding party never officially decided on our “grand entrance” which usually would have worried me, but with this crew, i knew something spontaneous would be the best way to go. ‘you make my dreams come true’ by “hall & oates” blared over the speakers and i howled as our wedding party made their way through the tent, linked arm and arm with their mustache and lip props. the crowd got louder and i can remember hearing our mc’s announce us as husband and wife, i can remember how exciting it was to hear those words. almost running to the tent, i was so happy to be with everyone i love, and celebrate such a happy day.

it wasn’t long after we took our seats that our mc tag team {lindsay and chris} were on the mike. i was a good mix of anxious, excited, nervous and scared to hear what they came up with, but was prepared for everything they were going to throw at us. after prayers and introductions were done, our wedding party started the speeches. i loved how we jumped right into them, and said them during the meal as each course was brought out. this not only was a relief to whoever was speaking, but helped give our guests some entertainment throughout their dinner—it’s hard enough to speak in front a tent full of people you may not know!

speaking of entertainment, our mc’s were fanfuckingtastic. i swear they could start a comedy act in vegas and make a KILLING. because paul and i are pretty well total opposites when it comes to our personalities, we were easy targets. never will i forget my giant teddy bear of a brother in law, mocking me, dressed in a wig and white sheet as a dress, flaunting his huge ass diamond ring around, while referring to himself as “demanda”. all while Lindsay, who perfectly portrayed paulie, stood there in awkward stiff silence wearing a dress shirt, suspenders and bowtie, only allowed to say “yes amanda”.

it was perfect.

the speeches were just as incredible as i knew they would be. my maid of honour jules went first and made sure i cried right out the gate. our beautiful bridesmaids made up the sweetest poem that they took turns reciting, and each groomsmen said a little something too-making sure to embarrass at least one of us, or both, but not forgetting their sentimental side too. having words like that said to you, by the people you care about, love and respect the most: moments i will never forget. my parents wrapped things up with even more tears, and then it was time for paulie and i to speak.

i had finished up my speech 2 nights before the wedding, sitting in my parents basement click clackin’ away until the wee hours of the morning, i wrote it out, re-wrote it, printed it, re-wrote it again, and then i was happy. even at 10pt font, single spaced WITH the margins increased, that bad boy printed out on 4 pages, and i was ok with that, and still am, because i was the bride (i told you i pulled that shit out twice). i had things to say, stories to tell, thank yous to give and didn’t want to forget a single thing. so when i looked at paulie and asked if he wanted to speak first, you can imagine my surprise when he said no. i fully expected him to want to get it over with and let me wrap things up, but i am happy to say that he caught me off guard on the best day of our lives, and i can’t tell you how much i love that.

these are my favourite lines of the 4 pages i wrote:
“I guess the reason I became so impatient is because I had known you were “the boy” from day one. I would have married you in the first year we dated and then again every year after. The anticipation of starting our lives together only grew stronger and stronger until I couldn’t pretend I was happy with being just your girlfriend anymore. I was ready to be your wife, and I am even more ready today.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you, I had no control over. You were a super cute, shy boy in your DM cardigan, shaggy haircut and adorable smile, and I was loving every minute of you. I was always excited to see you and giddy when we were together, and not much has changed over the years, except the haircut.

What I know of you now only makes me more anxious to see what you become. I love that when you love something, you love it with your whole heart-baseball, India, family...me. I love that you always know who you are and never change for anyone or anything. I love that you’re genuine and unassuming, and have never let me down. I love that I can see the glory in you, even when you don’t.

You saved me long before I knew I needed to be saved, and haven’t stopped since. It’s always been you, it will always be you, and I am so in love with you”.

choking on my words i let him know every emotion i have ever felt about him during our relationship, and more than that, how i felt about him that day. even now, only a month later, i feel even more for him. it’s like love is made up of levels or stages, and the more you are together, and the more you experience with each other, the higher up in levels you reach. by the time you hit your 50th wedding anniversary, you are standing in front of bowser, dressed as mario and luigi, asking yourselves how the hell you got there.

then he said his speech.

it wasn’t 4 sheets typed out or even in point form on a cue card. but it was sincere. it was kind. it was thankful, sweet, nervous and surprisingly funny. he told stories and made sure to get his fill of embarrassing me too. it was the best speech he could have said, and meant everything to me.

and how do you top all that? with the most serious dance party i could have asked for. our band started up and i didn’t leave the dance floor once (maybe just to pee. thanks jules). we had the girls dancing, the boys dancing, my aunts and uncles and cousins busting moves like no one’s business. a few of my guests even made their way up on the “stage” and played some air guitar and sang along. after looking at the photos our guests took, i can’t help but smile; we had boys with ties on their heads for heavens sakes. the night carried on this way until 1am when paul and i looked at each other, sweaty with bloodshot eyes and nothing how we looked the first moment we saw each other that day, and decided it was time to call it a day.

our wedding day was a long time in the making. it was everything we wanted it to be from the moment we woke up, to the moment we fell asleep. if i could do it all over again, i don’t know that i would. i am happy that i wouldn’t want to change a thing or do anything differently.

that day i soaked it all up, took it all in, and i am holding on to it for dear life.
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Being introduced
Ready to get the party started!
Jen and Ricky
Matty and Laura
Pat and Cassie
Jules and Ryan
My fabulous girlies!
My Handsome Groomsmen
Our MC's doing their thang!
Brotherly Love
'Paul and Demanda'
A hug for my baby brother :)
Clank your glass to kiss.
Jules and Paulie
Pucker up!
Jules and Jen
My Mom and Dad. The height difference is hilarious. And she is wearing heels.
Alllll the girlies
Our first dance
My Dad and I
Daddy Daughter Dance
Our Crew!
A new band member!
I was hoping this type of dance party would happen!
Tossin' the bouquet
Action shot.
Dana caught the bouquet!
Oh sweet jesus.
Mortified. It took him forever!
Tossin' the garter.
Cutting the cake
Lovin' that Rainbow bit!
He wanted Rainbow Bit. So Rainbow bit he got.
Cakey Kiss
Jules Sandwhich.
Paul and his Mum.
Up Yer Kilt!
Some more serious air guitar.
Late night dance party!
Nataschia's party shots.
Night time tent.
ohhh this is where things get messy.

from the time i first saw my dad to the time we arrived at the venue for the ceremony, is a complete blurr. i have these little snip-it’s of memories where i am walking out of the b&b front door, and the sun is shining so warm and bright and i can see people smiling, but i don't know who they are. i can see india in her pretty pink collar and crazy smile. i can see the man who drove our car holding the door open for me. and then i am on the parkway leading to the hall, and i am close to a panic attack. we are 5 minutes early, and i am NEVER early, so we pull over to the side of the road, and my dad grabs my hand. the windows are all open and a breeze is coming off the water and it calms me down. i want everything to go perfectly...i want this to be the moment i have been picturing for 8 years...and i want to see the boy.

after what felt like an eternity, we crept up around the building and waited for the girls cab to head up the drive and right up to the ceremony site. i can hear the music playing and can see the groomsmen nervously shifting from leg to leg. i am no longer interested in being even 1 minute late and have started "sternly advising" the driver to pull up and let me out. my dad tried to cool me down, but i can hear the music approaching the 2:56 mark and i know i have 20 seconds to get my ass to that aisle. after almost snagging my veil on the door, i am standing in front of everyone, veil over my face, bouquet in hand, daddy on my arm, smiling...and my heart beating through my chest.

and then...it's just paul.

i don't know how long it took to walk down the aisle. i don't remember anything but looking at him, and his nervous eyes and smile...and thinking "this is it". he looked more handsome then i have ever seen him, he took my breath away. most of the ceremony is clear as day. having read it about a thousand times before hand, i followed along in my mind and took a few moments to breathe it all in. we gave our mom's small posies as a promise that we would love and take care of each other just as they did for us-him one to my mom, and me one to his. we literally "tied the knot" with a tartan scarf in his families clan colours.

it was sweet, honest, meaningful...and everything i wanted it to be.

once the officiant announced us husband and wife, a whole new wave of emotions took over me. we were so happy, and so excited to finally be married, and i could feel that coming off of paul--it was such a special moment, maybe my favourite moment of that day.

our photographer took over the reins and made sure we utilized every moment allocated for photographs. she even captured us looking at what we had inscribed into our wedding bands, which i almost forgot about until she mentioned it. his choice in my band was so perfect, it almost caught me off guard 'ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE', clear and simple in capital letters. he also loved what i had put in his 'IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU'...it was never more true than it was that day.

a few photo locations later including a vineyard off the side of the road, and an old abandoned house nearby...and we were back at the hall for the reception. driving around town in the back of our classic car, champagne in hand and all of our best friends at our side, i didn't think the day could get any better.

but it did. it sure did. cause then we dance partied.
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The boys arrive in their London Cab.
Paul and his Mum
The Boy.
Our handsome groomsmen.
Cashie and Windy
I didn't know the girls held hands until I saw this picture. And then I bawled like a baby.
Arriving at the ceremony. Probably  'sternly' advising the driver. lol.
My Dad and I arriving in the car
Making my way to the aisle.
Ready to do this.
So happy to see the boy.
Daddy lifting my veil
Giving me away
Saying our vows.
So excited.
All smiles
Sigining the marrigae licence
I have a hard time looking at this picture. My Dad is the sweetest.
Giving our Mom's their flowers
My brother Matty tying the knot for us.
Kiss the Bride
Husband and Wife for the first time.
So pumped.
We did it!
We did it!
I love this.
Miss Jennifer B and Rick.
Laura and Matty
Cashie and Pat.
Jules and Ryan
Our Wheels for the day.
My gorgeous bridesmaid Cass.
The hanky I had made for my Dad. It says: 
Although I am now grown up
dressed in lace and pearls,
remember this on my wedding day,
I am still your little girl.
Love, Amanda
Me and the best girl.
Giving the poochie lots of lovin'.
The mustache and lip props were a huge success!
Smiling in the vineyard.
My favourites.
Vineyard Lovin'.
This makes me blush.
My Favourites
My sexy lil' GQ boys.
My sisters.
Cloud 10
so i have reaaaallly been putting off each of these posts as this can mean only one thing....it's really coming to an end. there are days when i have these waves of relief (while sitting in my 3' x 4' cubicle), when i think to myself "i have sweet dick all to do tonight. i could honestly just go home, put on my pajamas and sit on the couch for 4 hours" and i start smiling like an idiot. but then i have these moments of panic (while sitting in my 3' x 4' cubicle), when i think to myself "i have sweet dick all to do tonight, and all i want is to make crafts and stress out about something wedding related and then drink a bottle of wine".

the wedding is over. now what? now friggen' what?

i guess i will just deal with it as it comes--or maybe i will divorce paul and make him do this all over again. for now, i will just bask in the residual glow of the best day of my life, and recap the hours spent getting ready to see the boy. i left off with my panties knotted knowing i had to leave the venue and the fate of my wedding in the hands of our trusted vendors, so i could get to the b&b to shower and do my thang.

i walked into our room to find that my mom and two of my bridesmaids jen and laura, already had their hair done and were well into makeup. they looked so pretty and so ready for the day, that it made me eager to start turning into a bride. i had three of my fabulous friends lindsay, tammy and neena helping with hair, makeup and eyelash control-they were my own little dream team that helped make everyone look and feel the way i always hoped they would. i had all the stellar ladies in my life around me that afternoon--something i will always cherish and never forget.

i was so excited to see our videographers {dave and andrey} and photographers {nataschia, mike and calvin} had arrived. i loved that they have all worked together on weddings and events in the past, and have this fabulous little community that works together seamlessly, are on the same creative page, and help each other achieve the best end result. after seeing the pictures and watching our wedding video, they confirmed for me that we clearly chose the best team to capture us and our wedding day.

i had hoped to make paul's boutonniere, and it actually happened, which was very exciting. my fabulous florist had dropped off the bridal party flowers while i was at the hall, and had tucked away a white peony bloom for me. while having my hair done, i sipped my mimosa and worked away--shaking like a leaf, i got it finished and was very happy with it; simple, sweet and very paul. our photographer/video crew very conveniently were able to bring the bout and the gift i had for paul, over to the boys who were at his mom's. they got to shoot them getting ready, drinking scotch and surprise surprise playing nintendo.

i thought a long time about what i wanted to get for paul, and was really happy with my choices. an embroidered hanky made by a lovely girl on etsy, a pair of cufflinks (ah hem, also etsy) made from vintage typewriter keys that had his initials on them and his own "little black book" which my photographer had made up of photos from a boudoir session i had done with her. girls, if you need to get something super special for your man, please do a boudoir sesh. i can't even begin to explain the kind of experience that it is. i stole some of his clothes (his favourite cardigan, a crisp white dress shirt, and my favourite plaid shirt of his), gathered some classic props (suitcases, lots of lingerie, pearls and shoes), spent some money at {VS} and let nataschia do her thing in her spectacular studio one saturday afternoon in january. the photos turned out JUST as i hoped they would, classic, fresh, pretty, super sexy and just what paul would want. the day of the wedding he wrapped it up just as fast as he opened it, warned the boys not to look at it...then hid it under the seat of his car and locked the door just to be sure. it's his and no one else's.

back at the b&b my bridesmaids were dressed and accessorized and i couldn't believe my eyes. they each looked like their own individual woman, with their own style and taste, you could tell each one apart so clearly and perfectly. and then they stood together and it was like they were each a chapter of my crazy wedding story...and it all made sense. they took my breath away. they made me proud. i loved them more in that moment then i knew i could.

getting into my gown was the exact moment every girl dreams of...having your bridesmaids and mom help you into your wedding dress...helping you fix your underwear and adjust than readjust your tits until they are just right...it's not exactly as romantic as it is in the movies, but it was real and wonderful. i was ready to get the show on the road, but not before my maid of honour jules made me sit down and open a gift from paulie. his card was incredibly sweet and of course not signed...lol...but it was the strand of classic white pearls he picked out himself that was the cherry on top. they were the perfect choice...and he knew i would love them.

the moment i worried about most was seeing my dad for the first time. he has a special place in my heart...can make me break down with just one look, i am a daddy's girl in every sense of the word. they had him wait for me at the bottom of the stairs of the b&b (another movie moment let me tell you), and it was just as i expected it to be--lots of tears, lots of hugs and incredibly special. i pinned on his boutonniere and was finally ready to go.

now i am so excited to see the boy, i could pee in my dress...
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Pink Wedding Shoes
My Badgley's
Marilyn waiting for me...
Making Paul's boutonniere and other pretty details.
Paul getting dressed
Little Black Book ;)
A little Scotch to calm the nerves
Eyelash control.
Getting dressed
Opening my gift from Paulie
My Bouquet
A hug for my stunning Maid of Honour Jules
Our wedding bands.
Almost ready to go!
Sofa Workin' It
India! Wouldn't be our wedding without the poochie!
because i have a lot to say and share, i have decided to break up the wedding day post into parts. if you are willing to read along, i love you for it. if not, i am ok with you just creepin' out the pictures-it's how i read books my entire childhood and throughout most of high school. if you aren't interested at all, i also don't mind. hasta la wago.

{part one}

i have finally composed my thoughts enough, re-lived the day in my mind enough, and shared enough stories with family and friends to re-cap my wedding day. it's hard to believe it was almost a month ago...i kind of refuse to believe it.

the night before the wedding we had our family and friends do a quick run through at the hall, and then we headed to a sweet little restaurant called {corks} in niagara on the lake for dinner and drinks. we gave our wedding party their gifts {my girls received clutches i had made for them by the cutest aussie girl on etsy, and the boys were given pewter tie clips with a ship design on them, as well as the skinny ties they would wear at the wedding, both also off etsy}. are you sensing a theme here?

we had a fabulous time at dinner, and amazingly, i became even more excited for the wedding. we said our goodbyes (i even got a quick smooch from the boy) and then floated to {cecile's house}, the b&b my mom, bridesmaids and i stayed in, which was just around the corner. i mentioned the b&b in a post when i first booked, and was so excited for our stay based on photos alone-but being there in real life was no comparison. every single detail in that home was incredible on every level. the owner (the most adorable french man named chris) made us feel welcomed and treated us like royalty-from the use of the home to get ready, to the gourmet breakfast i ate with my bridesmaids and mom the morning of the wedding, complete with freshly made croissants in house, i could not have asked for one thing more. it was perfect.

by the time i closed my eyes and got my head on the pillow, it was morning and my eyes were opening as i ran to the window to see what the sky was like. {the weather network} promised it was going to be grey and rainy, and mother nature made true on her word. bummed, but not going to let it get me down, we scarfed down our fancy pants breakkie and started getting ready. half of us split up to head to the hall, and the other half stayed back to start showering and getting their hair and makeup did. my mom begged me not to go to the hall. begged me to let the florist, decorator and caterer take care of the last minute details, but i reminded her i was her daughter, laughed in her face, and headed out the door.

by the time i got to the venue, the clouds had started to break and the sun was shining like i had threatened it with its life. we hustled and bustled through all the finishing touches--the paper heart garlands paul and i had made, the memory table and my rockin' robin guestbook table, doilies here and cafe string lights there. my dad and nonno even assembled the arbour we would get married under, and the door frame they had made for us. everything came together before my eyes, and reassured me that all the hard work put in by everyone i love was going to make this day the most amazing of my life-rain or not.

my bridesmaid cass told me i had to leave the hall by 11:00, and i reluctantly agreed. when she came to me at 10:58 to tell me it was time to leave, i told her i said ok to 11 but was actually staying until 11:30 and she couldn't tell me no as "i was the bride". i only used this line once. ok. maybe twice. but both times it was in the best interest for those around me. they finally dragged me away, and drove me back to the b&b to start getting ready. a piece of my heart broke as i watched the hall fade away from the car window...i wanted to stay until it was fully finished, perfectly prepared with not one last thing to do....but as the bride, i guess i had an obligation to show up looking half decent, and my tights and beater just weren't gonna do it. although paulie wouldn't have gave two shits.

i have posted a few of the "details" shots taken by my photographer, family and friends (thank you auntie sylvia, jordy, steph and candice)-they make me a happy girl.

to be continued..............
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Door frame down the aisle
Suitcase of petal cones
Doilie petal cones. Quick and Easy Peasy.
A lil' love note
Ready for our fabulous guests
Nataschia's Details
Pink our wedding day {part one}
The escort cards and memory table
Ma Familia
Our head table
The clutches I had made for the girlies
The clutches I had made for the girlies
Signs my Maid of Honour Jules and her sister Danielle painted for me
and pink lemonade. My fave.
Table numbers
Our bird s&p shakers
More signs
The cake table
Le Gateaux
The topper made the cake.
my heart is pounding through my chest and i am pretty confident my brain has not stopped in days. i'm crying one moment and smiling like an idiot the next.

my to-do lists get crossed off, re-written, checked once, twice and then again for good luck...but they never seem to end. and just when i think there isn't another thing i need to buy from {michael's}, i'm back in the parking lot cursing myself.

i have to remind myself to eat and sleep. remind myself to stop looking at the {weather network} because they don't know what they are talking about anyways. remind myself to be nice to those who are helping me most and take it all in. however i haven't needed to remind myself how excited i am....funny that.

tomorrow is an indulgent day at the nail salon and packing my bags for my friday night slumber party and then the wedding day itself in {niagara on the lake}. i'm also popping over to my nonna's neighbours to cut fresh blush pink peonies for my rehearsal dinner and petal cones. i'm spoiled, i know. i have the boys in my life running all over hell's half acres tomorrow, but at this point, i need to delegate that for the sake of my sanity. and everyone else's.

people keep asking me "do you feel like you're in a dream right now"....and a very big part of that is true. as much work and stress as this has all been, i have never been happier in my whole life. i have everyone i care for surrounding me with unconditional love, help and support--and i don't know that there is anything more i could want then that.

oh. and i get to marry paulie. i get to be his wife. his go-to girl. his friend. his rock. his old lady. have i mentioned i just may be the luckiest girl in the world?

i have loved every moment of planning my wedding. it has turned into the most extraordinary thing i have ever done, and will always be a time in my life that i look back on and long for. i have loved all the kind words and friends that have come from sharing this journey as an online journal, and have never once wanted to stop writing, stop creating or stop sharing. thank you for reading along and letting me know you have enjoyed it too. it has meant the whole wide world to me.

farewell....or ariva derchi as they say in italy ;)

always with love,
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all you need is love
alright, we're getting down to the nitty gritty now!

since the day the boy put a ring on it i have been dying for this week to come. counting the number of sleeps left, celebrating the 11th of each month with a heart around the date, and a special smooch for paul, i couldn't wait to say "i'm getting married this week!". now it's here, and i can't even move my eyeballs to the right side of the screen when i am on this site. i can see the tip of the "4" out of the corner of my eye and my heart starts beating through my chest and i instantly need a shot of tequila.

it's a combo of good nerves vs. bad nerves. i feel like i need a wee bit of stress in my life to keep the fire lit under my ass and get the items checked off my list, but i am also trying to keep calm and carry on. i want to enjoy every moment and take it all in....but there have been moments over the last few days when something comes up, the crazy amanda makes an appearance, and the "take it all in, enjoy every moment" theory is about as practical of an option as shaving my head.

i am however, feeling MUCH better after this weekend. i wanted to accomplish an entire list of things, and we were able to get that done and spend time with our overseas guests. two of paul's uncles, his aunt and his cousin arrived on saturday from scotland and england, and i love having them around. a crazy bunch, they treat me like i have always been a part of the family, and put the best smile on paul's face. i am so thankful we have them here for our special day, and the days leading up to it. plus my scottish improves by the minute when they’re around. i’m almost fluent now.

i have become pretty well addicted to {the weather network} and check it when i wake up, on my lunch breaks and before i go to bed. sometimes it makes me smile from ear to ear, and other times it makes me want to scream. at the end of the day, i can’t control it, but i have my fingers, toes and eyeballs crossed it’s going to be a lovely day. our friends and family have also become “weather creepers” and send me status updates when there is a little sun showing on the 11th. they are too cute.

4 days. holy shit.
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gettin' down to the nitty gritty
i finally can sort my thoughts enough to highlight some of my favourite moments from my bachelorette party this weekend. we had 4 days jam packed to the tits with everything you could think of--from the most amazing cottage i have ever/will ever see in my life, 16 fabulous women, delicious meals and way too much to drink, campfires, dock tanning and of course, the party itself.

saturday night was designated as the "dirty night" and let me tell you, it was filthy. i walked into the cottage (ok more like stumbled) to find it had been transformed into a sexy little party-pink streamers, photos on the line, banners and a clothesline of the cutest lingerie. once dinner was finished we went straight into dessert: a tray of shots and lots of games.

the first game involved me guessing which girl purchased which piece of lingerie-if i guessed wrong, i had to take a shot, if i guessed right, the girl who purchased the item had to take a shot. needless to say, with 16 pieces to guess, shit got crazy. how am i supposed to know the girl i always thought was sweet and innocent (to remain anonymous) was gonna pull out the big guns and buy me crotchless panties and nipple pasties?? heavens to betsy, i feel like i have a sex shop living in my underwear drawer.

they also had paul answer a list of questions that i had to guess his answers to. if i guessed wrong...another shot. i thought i knew that kid inside and out! we moved onto the {hot dog game} which includes tying a hot dog to a string and then around your waist, standing over a plate of thumbtacks, and slammin' that wiener into the tacks to stick as many as you can to the dog. my my my, the men in my girls lives are LUCKY BOYS.

last but not least - we "pinned the dink on dexter". i could not have thought of a better man to grope while blind folded with a cut out of a penis in my hands. sweet baby jesus. apparently we busted into the most serious dance party we have ever had, and danced the night away. bits and pieces of the night have come creepin' back to me over the last few days, but i would be lying if i said every detail of the night is crystal clear.

what i do know, is that i had way too much fun this weekend, and am so lucky to have these ladies in my life. i couldn't have asked for more this past weekend, and i KNOW they enjoyed themselves too.

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1/2 of the girlies.
Hello dream cottage
Out for a little stroll in the canoe.
Dock party!
Oh heavens
There he is! The only man invited to the party.
Getting ready to pin the dink on dex
I LOVE the hot dog game and want to play it everyday of my life.
Stephanie slammed 14 tacks into her weiner!
it has been said, that if you ask a person what their LEAST favourite part of a wedding is, 9 times out of 10, they will say speeches. i can't promise this statistic is true, or has been proven in anyway, as it was said by one of our mc's chris, but he is more confident about this then anything.

i however, disagree completely.

my MOST favourite part of a wedding, is the speeches. i love the idea that they are written with care, (usually), said with heart (usually) and are one of those few times in life when you can say how you really feel about someone, and not feel self-conscious about it, or worry that you are coming off too mushy or lovey dovey (usually). it's your moment to say the things you might not normally say, to those who mean something to you, on one of the most important days of their life.

i know this isn't everyone's cup of tea-in fact paul is dreading saying a speech more than anything he has ever had to do in his entire life. part of me wants to put the kid out of his misery and tell him to just scrap the whole idea....and the other part feels like you only get to do this once; make the most of it. i on the other hand have been planning my speech for years. lol. every time i think of something i want to say to him, or our wedding party, or our family, i write it down, and i am really excited to take all my love notes, and put them together to tell a story.

each person in our wedding party has offered to speak, and i am so eager to hear what they have to say. knowing them, there will be lots of laughs, and lots of love. and although i am not expecting anything in particular, i know this will be an emotional moment during the day, and i am so ready for it.

ps-two weeks to go. really?
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Pink speeches? peaches.
i'm scared.

no. seriously. i'm scared. it's paulie's bachelor bash this weekend and i am scared shitless that my sweet, shy, cool with a pub and a dart board, innocent boy, is going to come back to me tainted, dirty, used and abused. i'm scared he's going to pull a "hangover" on my ass and come home with third degree burns all over his body. or missing a tooth. or have a tattoo on his face. (k. that would be hilarious). but i'm still scared.

tomorrow he leaves with over 10 of his buddies for {boston}. (ps-i am so jealous he is going to boston without me. we have tried to plan a boston weekend for years now and it has never happened). all i know of the plan, is that they are going to a baseball game (surprise, surprise) which paul is VERY excited for, and will probably eat and drink. a lot. as much as i trust paul, and know he would NEVER do anything stupid, i can't help but have butterflies in my stomach. we all know what boys do at bachelor parties, and i would be dumb to think his buddies wouldn't involve that lovely little tradition. i can't tell him he can't do something, but i can feel a certain way about it.

and this is how i feel.

i give kudos to girls who can let go and are totally fine with their man going to a strip club...sitting in pervert's row, literally inches away from a stripper's disease infested lady business, i am not one of those girls, and paul knows it. i am not cool with him attending a "gentleman's club" and could literally cry just thinking about it. they just gross me right out, and kind of make me angry. lol. "ummm....no, you can't go spend our hard earned money supporting a pseudo-prostitute's drug habits, there are purses for me to buy and manicures i could be spending that money on". harsh, i know. but come on girls, there are lots of jobs out there that don't involve naked gymnastics in front of married, taken and committed men. wow. glad i could get that off my chest.

as much as i want him and his "boys" to have the best time this weekend, a part of me does pray that paul's buddies get him good and drunk the first night, put him on the roof of their hotel, and leave him there until monday morning. fingers crossed.
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kills me.
the wolfpack
this is what happens when the boy has a 'few' drinks.