Ask a Question - How early/how much are you involving your maids in planning? - AGIRLINASTORY's Blue Wedding by Color Blog

How early/how much are you involving your maids in planning?

Everything I know about wedding is what I have accumulated by reading things on the net since I got engaged, so I have no idea about bridesmaids’ duties! I know that they are supposed to throw a shower, and obviously show up and stand up with me at the wedding by I’m not sure about anything else. I don’t want to be rude or a “bridezilla” so I’m hoping for a little advice!
My wedding is on August 21, 2010 and I’m doing a TON of diy projects. I know that they won’t want to help me with all of them (and just because I’m crazy enough to take it off doesn’t mean they are), but it would be nice to have some help with some of the simpler things. I’m taking a class again at the fall on top of my normal work/gym schedule so I’m hoping to get as much as possible out of the way during the summer before my life gets totally crazy. Is it too early to ask for help? And what’s a reasonable amount to expect from them? My maids are:
my sister, a stay at home mom to my adorable future ring bearer, who lives just around the corner from me
my cousin, who is a student but is working regular office ours right now, she works a block away from me, and lives about 5 minutes from my house
my best friend since high school, who works quite close to me and lives a quick drive away as well
So basically I’m wondering, should I leave them alone, should I have craft nights? Should I hold planning lunches or even discuss the wedding when I meet up with my cousin or friend for lunch?
So far my sister doesn’t even ask about the wedding and my cousin and friend usually ask how things are going, but I don’t want to be one of those dull people who blabs about the wedding every time we hang out.
Anyways, I’d appreciate input ladies, as I’m pretty lost here!
I’d love to know what you guys are doing with your maids pre-wedding, and how early you started!

All bridesmaids are obligated to do is buy their dress and be there with you on your day. I'd suggest asking them how involved they want to, or are able to be beyond that. They may be very excited about it, or they may have too many other things going on. But talking it over will make sure everyone is on the same page. Just remember that if they don't help out with planning or even want to talk about it all the time, it doesn't mean they don't care about the wedding day!

I've only had one bridesmaid nearby (and she's moving this weekend), but even with her I've only shown her a few things. She helped out with invites though, because she's good at that stuff and was willing to. For the rest I've just had fun doing it with my FH. I don't want everyone knowing all the details - I sort of want the day of to be a surprise for everyone :)

Um - FH sis, my bff, and sis did the bridesmaid dress thing one day and my mom and sis went with me a few other days to other boutiques. Otherwise it's basically my bff, mom, and sis involved most of the time. 1 lives about 6 hours away so theres not much shes been able to do, but we make sure to talk and email.

When they ask me about plans I bring them up to speed...otherwise I don't bring it up b/c frankly EVERYONE asks me "So hows wedding planning?" and I'm just tired of talking about it 24/7.

If you do want them to be involved just start asking if they can help with this or that and they'll help I'm sure as much as possible.

definitely ask if they want to be involved and realize that you have a ton of time before your wedding so they may look at you like you are insane when you ask them to help with wedding stuff already...at least thats what happened to me.

all my bridesmaids are pretty busy with life and work so i have decided to not ask them for help until i get a bit closer to the day. i think its just easier, especially if they are already being lukewarm about asking about the wedding stuff. good luck!

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