This is aymekae's Red Wedding!

So I met my fiance at work 5 years ago. He hired me straight out of high school to sell Cutco Cutlery (www.cutco.com). I was shy, hated calling people, hated knives, and hated sales. But the product was awesome, the work environment was one-of-a-kind, and of course, nobody else would hire me. I sold almost $10,000 worth of cutlery in 2 1/2 months (and I lived in a podunk, low-income desert town). I left for college with some money in savings and a long distance boyfriend.

Needless to say, though I haven't been a sales rep in years, and he hasn't been a sales manager for years, we have a soft spot in our heart for Cutco. He had the entire Ultimate 2000 set, minus a petite slicer (a small bread knife) and several table knives (steak/butter knife in one).

So when I brought up the issue of how to cut and serve the first piece of cake, we naturally thought of Cutco! Ben's gift to me was an engraved slice n' serve set (as pictured). Unfortunately, they engraved July 19th 2008 instead of July 19, 2008, which wasn't a big deal to me, but Ben wouldn't have it. It's being exchanged as we speak. They do come in pearl (white) handles, too, which may have been better for wedding cake cutting, but the rest of our set is classic (brownish/black), and besides, our wedding cake is chocolate anyhow.

I'm also working on programs. I will add a picture when they're completed, but this is the website I got my inspiration from: http://www.do-it-yourself-weddings.com/wedding-program-instructions.html.
I've been using Publisher (of course) to create my idea of the program. Because it's a 5 minute, non-religious ceremony, my program is also non-traditional. Here's a list of what I've included:
Name of couple/family with their table name on it (so I don't need separate cards)
Ceremony participants, procession, and outline
Dinner Menu
Lyrics to our first dance song "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters
Story of our first date (because it was on July 19, 2003)
Short biographies of bride and groom
Explanation of pint glasses as wedding favors

I'm thinking of doing Pealescent Metallic White paper, and maybe a Black Linen Cardstock for the outside (with nothing on it), tied with rose red ribbon. I've also just considered nice white paper by itself (how many will actually keep it as a keepsake? Will it be worth the extra paper and ribbon expense? Time will only tell)

So now that I’ve got the majority of my wedding planning down, I think I’ll properly introduce the bride and groom, and summarize the wedding.

My name is Ayme, and I’ll be 23 on June 19, and I’ll be married July 19. I graduated a year ago with a degree in Liberal Studies and an elementary school teaching credential. However, teaching is not for me, and I instead got a job as a bookkeeper for a law firm. It’s entry level, but I enjoy it for the most part. Someday I might decide what I want to do when I grow up, and go back to school, but for now I’m happy where I am.

My FH is Ben, who is 27 as of March. He is a real estate agent for Coldwell Banker in the La Canada/Glendale/Pasadena area and likes to sell stuff on eBay. His website is www.benbahrami.com. As soon as I graduated last June, I moved 200 miles to move in with him and 4 years of a long distance boyfriend was now past. After 2 months, he proposed. My mom asked if we had a wedding date picked out, and I said, of course not! We just got engaged 30 minutes ago! But Ben said, actually, I was thinking July 19 next year. I’ve already checked, and it’s a Saturday. The groom picked the date? Without even conferring with me first? But I loved it, because it is the anniversary of our first date, which is what we celebrate anyway. I thought it was wise on his part, because he already had that date memorized.

Our wedding and reception will be held 7 minutes from our apartment in his parent’s backyard. Ben grew up in 2 houses, the first right next door to where his parents are now. It’s a beautiful Spanish style home built in the 1920s, and the backyard consists of a square courtyard that’s framed on 3 sides by the house, and two brick stair steps up to the large rectangular grassy area. The ceremony will be setup in the courtyard, with the arch on the grass, and our [small] wedding party standing on the stairs. As soon as the 5 minute ceremony is over, our male relatives will quickly transfer the 80 some-odd chairs to the tables set up in the grass, while the guests make their way to the beverage tables. Appetizers of pita bread, hummos, and yogurt/cucumber dip will be available on the tables, and a “cocktail hour” of sorts will commence (though we’re not serving cocktails, and it will really be only 45 minutes.) This is when we plan to make our way around to welcome everyone and make introductions. (Photos will be taken care of long before the ceremony). A buffet of our favorite Persian food will be set up after the toasts, and we’re hiring a few servers/assistants to watch over that and the drinks. As soon as dinner is over, we’ll cut the cake and begin the “special dances,” immediately followed by opening the dance floor. Cake will be served during this time for guests to eat at their leisure. The nearby media room in the house will be set up for kids to watch Monster’s Inc. and color in their Disney coloring books, if they so choose. We’re hoping to wrap up the dancing at 9:30 and make our hasty departure to Park Vue Inn (a hotel right across the street from Disneyland). I don’t want to leave too late, because it’s a good 1 ½ hour drive. My hope is that guests will get the hint and begin to leave between 9:30 and 10:00. And at the end of the night, we’ll be married, we’ll have celebrated with our closest family and friends, we’ll have eaten good food and even better cake, and that will be that. And hopefully we’ll have decided that sticking to traditions and hosting a party will be worth the cost.

*UPDATE*
It's fun to look at my plans from 1+ years ago and see how they turned out. Everything went almost exactly how I planned it, except for the ending time. I was the only one for leaving at 9:30 to begin with, and guess what? We left closer to 10:30, as everyone ELSE planned. I underestimated the amount of time it takes to change, and I COMPLETELY forgot about the car decorating tradition! And ours was gross, and difficult to even get in, much less drive away. We spent the first 15 minutes of our honeymoon get-away in a dark gas station parking lot cleaning off the windows and the big stuff. I refused to let it get to me though. The 1 1/2 hours drive was actually 45 minutes (I forgot there's no traffic at night!), so we got there about the right time anyway. The jacuzzi room was well worth the money, and my only complaint about Disneyland immediately afterward was my sore feet from walking in heels and dancing all day. Not Disney's fault!

I wanted to mention something about our save-the-date magnets and our wedding announcements. For those seeking information.

We made our own save-the-date magnets. We purchased business-card sized magnets off eBay for about $10 (for the extras, my fiancé will use them for his business cards, as he’s a realtor). Then, I used Microsoft Publisher to design it. One business card was too small for what we wanted to do, so we doubled the size (making them two business cards stacked on top of each other). Ben also happened to have printable business card paper, and as long as we were careful, we could rip out two at a time once printed. I included a picture, a little rhyme I found on the internet (Ben bought the ring, Ayme said yes, there’s going to be a wedding, and we hope you’ll be our guest!) Added the date (obviously) and website info. I hated the look of “wedding websites” you can put together, like weddingchannel.com and theknot.com. And we didn’t want to pay for a nicer site. Luckily, Ben already hosts a website for his real estate business. So we added a new page for our wedding, and password protected it. Guests could use the email and password we provided, or could sign up for their own. Not the tidiest solution, but it’s worked out well (except for the fact that my own family doesn’t even look at it!) I put whatever information I needed, like registry, location, local hotel info, how we got engaged, something about the wedding party, etc. As a double feature, instead of using RSVP cards for the invitations, we included a slip of paper with the website info again, directed them there to RSVP, and then put our contact info. Honestly, we have maybe 20 guests that I don’t know personally, or if they would come to our wedding, so I didn’t need the extra expense. If the RSVP deadline comes and we haven’t heard one way or the other from guests, we’ll just call them. At most, maybe 10 phone calls.

As for announcements, I finally ordered from www.photoannouncementsweddinginvitations.com. $63 for 30 announcements. I'm happy.

Total: $10 for magnets, $16.40 for postage (business card sheets and printing were free), and $63 for announcements, plus $12.90 for postage.

Oh, I was not happy about favors when I first started planning. Most weddings you get useless junk, right? My favorites have been edible favors (one was coconut Jelly Bellys, another was M&Ms in the wedding colors, and another was a whole candy buffet!) But others I’ve talked to really like the keepsake aspect of the favor. But what could I give them that they wouldn’t want to throw away? Or worse, not take in the first place? Was it possible to combine the keepsake and the practical part? So even though I know that whatever I decided, somebody would be unhappy, I am going for maximum enjoyment here.

I liked the idea of personalized champagne flutes (as a recent friend had at her wedding) but as I’ve mentioned previously, fully a third of my guests do not drink alcohol. I didn’t want to offend anyone. So I nixed that idea and spent fruitless hours searching traditional and non-traditional wedding favors. I liked the idea of handing everyone a dollar scratchcard, so that someone has a chance of winning something, but again, Mormons don’t gamble, and I’m not sure they would have appreciated it (though there’s a fine line; would they be offended even though they hadn’t gambled their own money?) Too risky. Finally, I went back to the personalized glassware idea, and found a few websites that personalize lots of different types of glassware. I decided on pint glasses (because they can be used for everything, not just beer). I went back and forth between customglassware.com and discountmugs.com. I finally decided on the first for two reasons: one, they don’t put their logo on the bottom of the glass, and the other one (in the fine print) say they reserve the right to imprint their logo, and two, it was about $30 cheaper. I also liked the graphic choices better. With both, you can submit your own graphic, but they also have a database of graphics to choose from. Going with the Mickey/Minnie theme that is ever-present in my planning, I chose a cute Mickey/Minnie silhouette that are kissing, along with “Ben & Ayme” on the first line and “July 19, 2008” on the second line. With price per glass, $35 set-up fee, and expensive shipping (which they say is worth it to pack it and ship it better to avoid breakage) the price per glass is $2.78. A little more expensive than I was looking for, but I feel it’s a quality favor, that’s a keepsake, and it’s practical, AND they’re going to use them during the reception for whatever beverage suits them.

There will be 10 children ages 12 and under at the wedding. My original idea was to give everyone a Disney coloring page and a basket of crayons at their place setting, but I was told too often that this isn’t a child’s birthday party, and most people wouldn’t like to color. I tend to disagree (as I’m a shy wallflower, and don’t often dance at other weddings, I would love a coloring page to keep me busy!) Alas, I decided to forgo the coloring for everyone, but I want to get each kid their own coloring book and small box of crayons. Since the wedding is at a house, we’re also going to set up a Disney movie in the nearby media room for the kids once dinner is over, so they can color and watch Monster’s Inc. and not get antsy because it’s a wedding.) There will be 3 babies (under 1 ½) and I haven’t decided if I’ll do anything for them yet. They won’t even remember any of this! Maybe a Disney plushie, commemorating the experience? (For at least 2 of them, it’ll be their first wedding).

Total Cost: $250 for 90 pint glasses, and maybe $35 for coloring books and crayons.

*UPDATE*
So I know that personalized glasses are still not for everyone, and some may not have appreciated it, but we know of many of our guests who like them! Apparently, they are good quality, sturdy pint glasses. Despite all my planning, some people still forgot to take them home, and we had a few last minute cancellations, so we ended up with quite a few extra. Guess what we use everyday? At least the design is somewhat subtle. Well, at least WE enjoy them! I'm not sure if I recommend it for everyone, but I do recommend the above website.

Our music options were limited. I’ve already mentioned the musicians we’re getting for the ceremony. But I didn’t want 2 flutists and a keyboardist for all my music. Plus, I wanted his brother and girlfriend to enjoy the party, not work through it. A live band was neither in our budget, nor did we have room for them. A DJ was a possibility, but I always feel like the DJ is the most awkward part of a reception- the person who doesn’t fit in, who doesn’t know the guests. Since Ben’s family has a good receiver and set of speakers, and I have laptop and LimeWire, I decided to make my own playlists. All it costs me is time.

I needed 3 lists: one for appetizers and dinner, one for dancing, and one for special songs (like first dance) I enlisted my brother, who has already agreed to “DJ” the wedding (well, keep watch over the playlists and change them as needed), to help me come up with some ideas. Since I’m having a wedding with Disney touches, I thought Disney music would be appropriate. There is a CD called Disney Instrumental Impressions (or Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings) that has popular songs (mostly love songs) played with just instruments, no vocals. It is a very neat CD. I bought it on Amazon (because it’s not on LimeWire for some reason) for about $11. Along with the Disney songs, my brother introduced me to Vitamin String Quartet, or also known as String Quartet Tribute. They take popular music and revise them to be played on strings (again, with no vocals). The sound is rather fun, yet really classy. I want my guests to go, hey, that sounds like that Green Day song!

For special songs, this is what I’ve decided on:
First Dance: “We’ve Only Just Begun” by The Carpenters
Father/Daughter: “I Loved Her First” by Heartland
Mother/Son (maybe): “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole/Natalie Cole

For dancing, my maid of honor happens to have made a playlist for her sister’s wedding last year, so I took that list and revised it to my liking. It’s a fun mix of 80s, 90s, pop, hip-hop/R&B, country, etc. It hasn’t all been sorted out yet, but I know for a fact that the first song is going to be “Get the Party Started” (Sweet Dreams Remix) by Pink feat. Redman. Always been a favorite of mine, and the lyrics are especially fitting (get the party started on a Saturday night, everybody’s waiting for me to arrive…) When I’ve figured it all out, I will post my full playlist here. Some songs that are a definite: 500 Miles by the Proclaimers, Yeah by Usher, Let’s Get it Started by Black Eyed Peas, Hicktown by Jason Aldean, Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis.

Total cost: $11

*UPDATE*
So I'm not sad that I saved money on a DJ, but my brother simply did not come through on the iPod, so I ended up running over to the speakers if I wanted to change the music. I had carefully planned out my whole playlist, but who knew that Grandma and Grandpa were leaving early and wanted to dance one more slow song? Or that I decided to skip a few songs and go straight to the grand finale? So it may have been tacky, but it was still free. Oh, and we ended up not being able to use the lovely Disney music. Why? Because Ben's other talented brother and his friend showed up almost last minute and decided to play guitar/sax during cocktail hour/dinner (I protested, but they insisted they'd have much more fun at a wedding playing music than mingling.) It was better than I could have hoped for. But the CD didn't go to waste... it's still on my play list, and reminds me more of wedding planning than my actual wedding!

Well, you may have noticed by now that I’m not the most girly-girl you’ve ever met. But even a simple bride needs accessories to complete her day. So, from top down:

I purchased a simple sparkly headband at Claire’s for about $15 (a rip-off, I think). I won’t be wearing a veil, and the headband will keep my hair out of my face, I think.

I’m planning on dangly earrings, but don’t have anything like it at home (as I use the same pair of studs every day, haha). I will either purchase a cheap set, or hopefully borrow a set from my sisters or mothers. Haven’t asked them yet, but I’m sure they would help.

Makeup, as I mentioned, will be done by my brother’s girlfriend, who enjoys applying makeup, though she’s not a professional. Instead, the money I would have spent on a professional is going to buy me more Mary Kay so that I can continue using it in the future.

I’m thinking no necklace. I never ever wear them as it is, and I can’t picture anything that would go well with my dress. With my headband and my earrings, I don’t want to go overboard, either.

Bra! My dress, as you can see, is strapless. I do own one, but it’s old and no fun at all. So I went searching for a cute strapless bra worthy of my wedding day. My favorite online store, Victoria’s Secret, disappointed me. Nothing fun at all. So I checked out Frederick’s of Hollywood for the first time, and found the perfect one. It’s white, with pink flowers and is rather lacy. I paid more than I would have liked ($30, plus shipping, made it a $40 bra I won’t wear very often), but I’m satisfied it meets my requirements. (A note to fellow online-bra shoppers: I had to purchase a cup larger on Frederick’s than I normally do at Vicky’s, but it still fits perfectly. So take that into consideration. Also, it was way tighter than I’m used to, so I got a bra extender on Amazon for about $7. In the future, if you order from someplace that’s not your usual, check their return policies, or just go to the store.) Enough of that silliness, and on to more…

Spanx! No, I did not mis-type spandex. Spanx is, well, just check out their website. I read about it on Yahoo! Answers (which I love to get wedding advice and ideas from, and also help other brides-to-be.) Every 4 years, I go through a growth spurt and add 15 lbs. in about a month. Then I’m completely stagnant. So last summer, I gained that 15 lbs. and became 150 (blech). I suppose if I changed my diet and exercise to a consistent routine, I could do something about the extra flab. Unfortunately, I’m not so motivated as all that. So instead of dieting to fit into and look good in my dress, I’m faking it and wearing Spanx. The kind I purchased is footless with extra tummy control. I tell ya, ladies, it is so worth it, but plan on spending at least 10 minutes wriggling into them the first time. I thought, there’s no way this is going to fit. And a smaller size will not make you look smaller, so purchase according to their chart! I was on the border between B and C, so I purchased a B at first. It was not very comfortable, and the top did roll down, and they said it wouldn’t. I returned it as well, because it had a run in it already, and it was only on my feet (be careful with long nails). The C fits much better, doesn’t roll down, and it’s high quality material. I’ve worn the footless one to work with dress capris, and I was satisfied. I also bought a pair of regular hose (not footless) that sits higher than usual panty hose for tummy control. I used that under a knee-length dress, and again, very comfortable, and I didn’t have to walk around sucking it all in. (I go into this much detail because I wish I had someone do the same for me when I was looking.) So is $26 panty hose worth it? I say yes!

Last, and definitely least, is shoes. I hate shoes. I really hate shoe shopping. Ben owns more shoes than I do. I was not looking forward to shopping for, and purchasing, a pair of white shoes that I will never wear again. So my first task was to find good looking shoes that I can also wear to work. When I do buy shoes, it’s usually from Mervyn’s, but I struck out the first two times I looked. Finally, I found a pair of white strappy heels for only $17.50! And I wore them to work to break them in, so they serve a dual purpose. Not the most comfortable, but I can live with it.

So that’s my short list of accessories. $15 for headband, $100 for makeup, $? for earrings, $47 for bra and extender, $26 for Spanx, and $17.50 for shoes. Total: about $200. Except for the headband, all things I can use or wear again.

*UPDATE*
Headband was eh... didn't really like it much, but at least it didn't look awful. Makeup was well worth it, and I am a Mary Kay fan now. I haven't worn the bra again, but I don't wear many things that need a strapless. I tried the Spanx again with capris like they show in their ads, but it was too long and they kept poking out. However, I am now a fan of their Target line called Assets, which are $10 instead of $20-$30, so I can replace them as needed. I wear the full pantyhose to work now. Same with those lovely white shoes, which get worn about once a week. Not bad! (And no, I'm not showing photos of me wearing those things day of! Besides the fact those photos do not exist. The models are prettier, anyhow.)

Dinner! My favorite part of any day. Obviously, our wedding planning keeps a realistic budget in mind, and we didn’t like what we were hearing from caterers. From day one, we wanted Persian food (as Ben is half-Persian), but it’s difficult to get exactly what you want. So we inquired at our favorite local Persian restaurant, Olive Branch (www.iloveolivebranch.com). The first figure they gave us was $18 per person, which isn’t bad, but that was over the phone. When we actually went and sat down with the head chef (who I guess deals with catering, too) we asked for way more variety, and he quoted us $14 per person. It might be because Ben’s parents (and us) have been faithful customers for years. Our menu is as follows:

Appetizer:
Pita Bread with Hummos and Yogurt & Cucumber Dip
Salad:
Persian Salad (Shirazi)
Sides:
Barbecued Vegetables
Basmati Rice
Cherry Rice
Entrées:
Eggplant Beef Stew (Bademjan)
Ground Chicken Kebab (Koobideh)
Ground Beef Kebab (Koobideh)
Chicken Thigh Kebab
Dessert:
Chocolate wedding cake made by groom’s sister

I know there are different spellings for things like “kebab” and “hummos,” so I just went with how they spelled it on THEIR menu. If I could add anything, is would be salmon kebab, and if I could take anything away, it’d be cherry rice. But we both agreed to offer a variety of things for picky eaters, vegetarians, and Persian food virgins.

As for beverages, we’re going a fairly traditional route. We decided not to spend the money on a full bar and bartender, because a third of our guests are Mormons or children. We are offering a champagne/sparkling cider toast, red wine, white wine, and 3 or 4 kinds of bottled beer. For our other guests, we’ll have soda (Coke, Diet Coke, root beer, Sierra Mist, Sunkist) and wedding punch. (Wedding punch is one of my favorite concoctions at Mormon receptions. It is non-alcoholic, and has 7-Up, pineapple juice, orange juice, lime sherbet, and sometimes sliced strawberries. A wedding is not a wedding, in my opinion, without this frothy goodness in a glass.) Of course, we’ll also have water pitchers, and bottled water as well. The only thing we have left to do is decide on types of wine, champagne, and beer, since Ben and I don’t drink that much. Hopefully some of our friends and family can help us choose. Anyone have any suggestions of what wine pairs well with Persian food?

Total Estimated Cost: $1,260 for food, $0 for cake, and who knows how much for beverages ($20 for 10 dozen cans of soda)

*UPDATE*
The food was awesome. We've had people tell us for the last 11 months that it was simply the best wedding food they've ever been served. Why no pictures? Because it was eaten too fast! (Actually because I told my photographer I don't want pictures of people eating, so I gave him a break.) And I know we've drummed up some new business for the restaurant we catered from. I still can't believe how cheap it was, when I hear how much other couples are spending per plate.

So I’m in conflict over my ceremony. Both Ben and I agreed straight away that we hate long ceremonies. It’s like you’re sitting there thinking, “All right, already, let’s get to the food!” So our ceremony is 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops, from procession to recession. That part is good and decided. A little more difficult was who is going to perform the ceremony. Neither of us are religious, though I grew up Mormon, and my whole family is Mormon. I happen to have an uncle who is a bishop, and because he is official religious clergy, I asked him to perform the ceremony (because he’s family, not for the religion. Have I made myself clear?) He agreed, and he’s coming all the way from UT with his wife and 4 kids, and they’re going to make a vacation out of it. Well, Ben was concerned from the beginning that there would mentions of God and scripture in the ceremony, so I asked my uncle to write out what he was going to say. He sent me the official ceremony words that the church provides for marrying “non-members”. And of course, it does mention God, and it’s done almost in the form of a prayer, wrapping up with, “I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” Gah! Ben was right! I haven’t replied yet, but I am going to revise that version with a civil version. I hope he’s not offended, but it’s too late in the game to change things. After the official “I Do’s”, he said we can do a ring ceremony. I have no idea what to do for all that, but I guess I should make a decision soon. Honestly, the “ceremony” of the ceremony doesn’t matter that much to either of us, and if it weren’t for our families, we would skip it and do it at the courthouse. But I digress.

The procession will be unique as well. Since there’s only one bridemaid, one groomsman, and no flower girl or ring bearer, it was shaping up to be one of the shortest processions ever. So this is what I’ve decided as to the order of things:

Ben escorts his mom
My brother escorts my mom
My step-brother escorts my step-mom
Best Man escorts Maid of Honor
My dad escorts me

Here’s my reasoning… Ben’s dad is disabled, and will not want to walk down the aisle with a cane, or a walker, which is what he’s doing these days. He has agreed as well. Ben has 2 other brothers, but one isn’t coming, and the other is one of our musicians, so he’s the only available son, and he needs to get down to the front somehow as well! My step-dad refuses to be in the same state as my dad, so he bows out of all family get-togethers, including my oh-so-important wedding! And I only have one brother (well, my mom only has one son) so that works out. And my dad is escorting me, so it only makes sense for my step-mom’s only son to escort her. So you see it works out. That way there will be enough of a procession for one song before it switches to my song.

As for ceremony music, Ben’s younger brother is a flutist (he holds a Master’s degree from Juilliard). His girlfriend, whom he met at Juilliard, is also a flutist. And he’s known a guy for years who often accompanies him on piano, who has agreed to come and play on a keyboard (they have a piano, but there’s no way they’re getting a baby Steinway into the backyard!) They also have a small organ that could be moved, but it reminds me too much of a church wedding, so I nixed that idea. I haven’t discussed ceremony music with them yet, and since they’re all playing for free (when they are very talented and often get paid very well for doing weddings), I pretty much want them to do something they all know. My one request will be “Somewhere in Time” (written by John Barry and is the title song of the movie “Somewhere in Time”.) I love the movie, and have always loved the song. (I used to play piano, and I used to play a simple version of the song.) I recently found out that it was my dad and stepmom’s song when she walked down the aisle, because it was the movie they watched on their first date. Awww… so I thought it would be sweet to incorporate it somehow. (By the way, Ben is set on having the James Bond theme somewhere in there, like when he escorts his mom, but I told him it wouldn’t sound right on two flutes and a keyboard! So I think that’s a no go.)

Again, I want people to never get to the point during my ceremony where they zone out and start wondering about what’s for dinner (actually, with my programs, they’ll be able to read the menu during the ceremony, haha). So almost as soon as they sit down, they’ll be asked to get up so we can move the chairs to the tables. And instead of waiting an hour or more for pictures to be taken, it begins immediately! (Pictures will be taken beforehand). While dinner won’t be served immediately, they will have appetizers and beverages to tide them over about 45 minutes until the buffet is ready. Sound like a good plan?

*UPDATE*
The ceremony was literally 5-10 minutes (I wasn't counting!) and we started almost exactly on time. My uncle went ahead and said his little spiel, but we didn't care because we weren't listening really. We ended up using the organ, and it sounded fine. The music was simply beautiful. The signing of the marriage license immediately followed the I Do's off to the side of the arch, and then "kiss the bride" and all that. With the idea that I might be a little biased, it was the best ceremony I've ever attended. We left for a few minutes while all the chairs were moved out and the appetizers served. We were hoping for a good 30 minutes before dinner was served, but was early! So we just dug in right away.

So I already described the flowers we’re getting, which includes 25 long-stem red roses for 5 of our 9 centerpieces. I’ve already said that I hate the traditional floral centerpieces, so I had to look at the non-traditional. It was my sister (the same one doing my hair) who found the Mickey vases and Mickey platters on www.disneyshopping.com. They keep changing in price, but originally it was $15 per vase and $25 per platter, which was too much for me. But then a week later she was showing my mom, and it dropped to $5.99 per vase and $14.00 per platter, I decided to go ahead and get 5 vases and 4 platters for my 9 tables. (Since then, the platters have dropped to $5.99 as well, but nothing I can do about it now). Since I have Disney’s Visa card, I had earned $33 in Disney Dollars, and applied that to my balance, so for the 9, I paid around $75. I figured that I can keep, give away, or sell them afterward. The vases will each have 5 roses. The platters will each have 3 red glass votive holders with white votives. My mom volunteered to make red “centerpiece placemats” (for lack of a better term) that will be 18”x18”. Along with the Mickey head candy confetti I previously mentioned (2 small boxes were around $10), I bought red heart confetti (a bunch of small bags) for about $8. Both on eBay. Add in the red rose petals, and I think we’ll have a nice mixture for the centerpieces. For each table, I also bought a 4x6” black photo frame, and I’ll add black and white photos of us. So much for table decorating.

I’ve heard that Ben’s family thinks the arbor (think: wedding arch) should be decorated, but if they want it done, they can do it themselves. I’m not expending any time or money thinking about decorating it. My FMIL also wants to add potted plants to the front driveway, and in the back yard separating the courtyard (where the ceremony will be held, and later dancing) and the grass area where the tables and food will be set up. Again, she wants it done, so she’ll get it done. I have no idea what it’s going to look like, but it’s her house, so she can do whatever she wants. Beyond the tables, and those things, I have no clue what else to do. The candy confetti, heart confetti, and rose petals, will decorate the other tables (cake table, etc.)

All in all, my decorations (not including flowers) was $177 (heart confetti, candy confetti, cake topper, pictures for guestbook and tables, picture frames, vases, platters, and candles). I should mention that the guestbook is being created by my sister (again, the same one doing my hair). She has previously made small scrapbook style guestbooks for other friends and family. They are adorable, maybe several pages long, and it signs more like a yearbook than anything. At the end, it’s a keepsake, not just a list of names!! All she required was the black and white photos, which cost about $6 to print 30 and ship them out of state.

Not sure if it should be mentioned in decorating (though it’s in my budget as such) is the wedding programs. Since it’s not a religious ceremony, it will be nontraditional. I’m including not only the procession, but the dinner menu, the story of our first date (since it was on July 19, 2003, and we’re getting married 5 years to the day), and some fun facts about us. I’m also using them as table placements. Since I only have 80 guests, each program will be personalized with the couple’s or family’s name, and the table they’re sitting at. It will also explain the wedding favors so that people have no excuse not to take them home (unless they don’t want them.) The programs will be homemade. I just need to buy nice paper and ribbon enough for 40 or so programs, so it shouldn’t add too much to my decorations budget.

So this should be rather short and sweet. Surprise, surprise, we went to Men’s Wearhouse to rent the groom’s and best man’s tux. We also went during prom season, so they were rather busy. (A note to brides: try to schedule the tux rental appointment before or after prom season). We rented the same suit (Reaction by Kenneth Cole) and got red vests and red ties for both. The total was about $145, which includes the $5 damage deposit. Ben was not happy with having to pay $5 before even damaging (or staining) the suit. He would rather be charged if and when it’s damaged when he returns it. I think it’s smart of them, because it spreads out the cost of repairing and replacing suits, but it’s not so good for those who don’t damage it at all to pay the penalty. Again, it was only $5, and knowing Ben, he will probably spill wine down the front, so I feel it was well worth it. We paid for one rental upfront (I think they offered a smaller deposit, but it wasn’t necessary) and we’ll pay for the second rental when we pick them up two days before. Another note for Men’s Wearhouse: typically, rentals need to be returned the next day (NOT business day, so in our case, Sunday) or you pay for a week rental. He said that as long as we stated we want to return it on Monday, he put that on our rental form so that we won’t be penalized. Remember, that needs to be done at the time of renting, not later. Why not add the extra day just in case?

Total Cost: $290 (including damage deposit!)

*UPDATE*
I was kind of irritated going to Men's Wearhouse the other day where they were advertising prom tux rentals for $60. Where the heck was THAT sale when I placed my order last year??

When selecting photos of the tuxes, I ran across this series of my hubby and his best man playing with the flowers and the Mickey ears someone brought. Enjoy!

Not to disparage anyone’s lifestyle, but we don’t have much need (especially not at this time) for “stuff.” We’ve both lived on our own for awhile, so we’ve accumulated almost everything we need already. All of our furniture was bought piece by piece at garage sales (anyone have a small dining room table with at least 2 chairs available?) And we live in a tiny apartment. So the amount of stuff we need is minimal. We’ve decided to register at Target (for just a few things) and Bed Bath and Beyond. Most of our requests are kitchen upgrades, as Ben is a good cook and a great baker, so those things he wants. I threw in a few material goods just for fun (Fix-It-And-Forget-It Cookbook to go with a new crockpot, for instance). When we buy a house, we want to decorate it according to the house’s style, not our personal tastes, and since we don’t know what that style is, how can we purchase stuff for it?

But what we really want is for the guests who want to give a gift to add money to our honeymoon registry to Walt Disney World. This is a vacation of a lifetime for me, and we’re spending more than we’d like to really make it worthwhile. Disney’s honeymoon registry is very simple, and does not take fees from the gifts (you may have heard of other websites who charge 2% or something out of every gift given!) Some of the things we’ve planned that we wouldn’t have done otherwise is Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party, Cirque du Soleil’s La Nouba, dining at some of the finest restaurants, and staying in a deluxe resort. (Actually, we’re getting free dining as part of a promotion, but that means we don’t have any room or ticket discounts, so I still feel like we’re paying for it either way.) Most of our gifts were from either Target or Bed Bath, and plenty of gift cards to get what was missed. We also had some odd gifts, like a generic MP3 player and a silver dollar! Half the kitchen stuff is still at the in-laws house because we have no room for it and not much need of it at the moment, but there will be a day we'll have a place for all that nice stuff.

Ah, rentals. The downside of having a nice, cheap wedding in my fiance’s parent’s backyard is that we have to provide everything. So that jacks up the price a bit. After months of deliberation (and I’m not convinced we’ve finalized anything yet), here is our list of rentals, and how much we’re paying for them, from the cheapest rental company near us. (Ben asked for quotes from at least 5 places. What he discovered is that some items are more expensive than others, while other items are less expensive. So instead of looking at price per unit, it’s good to know the total. Also, ask for hidden fees, such as delivery, set-up/take-down [and exactly what that means], cleaning, and damaged unit replacement. Each place is different.)

Qty. Items Unit Price Total Price
90 Chairs (White/Padded) 1.50 135.00
9 Round Tables 60" 7.50 67.50
3 Banquet Tables 8' 7.50 22.50
1 Round Table 36" 7.50 7.50
3 Banquet Tables 4' 7.50 22.50
9 Round Cloth 120" 8.00 72.00
3 Banquet Cloth 60"x120" 8.00 24.00
1 Round Cloth 102" 8.00 8.00
3 Banquet Cloth 60"x60" 8.00 24.00
7 Chafing Dishes (8 qt) 25.00 175.00
18 Bread Baskets 1.00 18.00
36 Bowls 5" 1.00 36.00
9 Water Pitchers 1.00 9.00
4 Serving Tongs 1.00 4.00
4 Ice Buckets 5.00 20.00
1 Dance Floor 12'x12' 180.00 180.00
Total 825.00

This particular place does not charge for delivery, and we are not using them for set-up/take-down. Tax will be charged later on. We are actually providing some of the things ourselves, such as linens for the bread baskets, small spoons for the appetizers, large spoons/ladles, and the punch bowl. We also saved ourselves $150 by borrowing a friend’s garden arbor (instead of renting a “wedding arch”).

*UPDATE*
As you can see from the new photos, everything turned out as well as I could have expected it. It helps that we had unlimited access to our location! (The groom's parent's house, which is an absolutely gorgeous, authentic Spanish-style home with a courtyard that just barely fit all our guests for the ceremony!)

How could I have skipped my bridesmaid? Yes, you read that correctly: just one. I won’t bore you with all the details about how we decided on one each, but it involved a lengthy discussion about “matching numbers”. If I would have added my 3 sisters, my total would be 4, and Ben would have 2, maybe 3. And 4 on each side is a large number for only 80 guests. So we both chose our college roommates, though I’ve known my maid of honor since 9th grade as well. My sisters, however, are wearing matching outfits (not formal dresses, as this is a rather casual wedding, but they chose black and white polka dot jackets to go over a white or red blouse, and white or black dress capris.) They have all helped me in preparing for the wedding, so I mention them because they are my bridesmaids in spirit.

So I have an issue with flowers normally. I’ve been given flowers twice (and a single rose once) in my life, all by Ben. (One was to ask me on my first date, the single rose was for our one month “anniversary”, and half a dozen pink roses were sent for our six month anniversary.) Since then, we’ve discussed and decided that as sweet as that was, flowers die, and they’re pretty much a waste of money. We have the same thinking for our wedding flowers. I didn’t want 9 floral centerpieces that are a lot of money that just go to waste the next day. So I compromised. Here’s a list of the flowers we’re getting (all flowers are red roses):

Bridal bouquet (2 dozen): $150
Maid of Honor bouquet (1 dozen): $100
4 boutonnières (groom, best man, 2 dads): $15 a piece
3 pinned corsages (mom, step-mom, mom of groom): $18.99 a piece
25 long-stem roses: $125!
Large basket of rose petals: $30
Total: $565.03, including tax

It helps that we only have one bridesmaid and one groomsman. Those can get pricey. As for the long-stem roses, we have 9 tables, and on 5 of those tables will be a flower vase (more in Decorations). 5 roses for each vase. Do the math. Thought it was a good idea at the time, till I found out that “mature, long-stem roses” are $5 a piece! That’s the only price that made me squirm. Paid $300 deposit, and will pay the balance upon pick-up (luckily the flower shop is a whopping 1 or 2 miles from his parent’s house).

Why do I give all these details? Because I know as a bride-to-be, it’s not enough just to get ideas and implement them. I want to know details and actual cost. I want to know what other brides are paying for similar things. And since I could rarely find it all in one place, that’s why I include it in my blog.

*UPDATE*
I wish we would have shopped around before choosing the first down-the-street florist we could find. There was also a language barrier, and if I didn't provide the photos, it would have been so much worse. My only upset on my wedding day is when I saw the pinned corsages for the mothers. They looked like small Christmas-y bouqets, with little red berries and all! Nothing like the photo I provided. But my brother-in-law had time to run them back and make them fix them before the actual wedding. I think we also paid too much, as I indicated above. Since all the flowers were simple enough, I could have had family help me make them that morning, as they had volunteered to do. At the very least, I could have saved going to the wholesale flower market for the long-stemmed roses and flower petals. Oh well, I still don't really regret it. At least I didn't have to worry about it beforehand.

It is important to both Ben and I that the cake is chocolate and that it tastes really good. I don’t really care what it looks like. So what if brown does not match my wedding colors! So what if it is simple in design!

We are “hiring” Ben’s older sister, who took a cake decorating class, and who also makes a divine chocolate cake. It’s going to be chocolate, with chocolate fudge filling, with chocolate frosting. I’m tired of going to weddings where the cake is absolutely gorgeous, and you can tell a lot of money was spent on it, yet the actual cake is either disgusting or just okay. Not my cake!

My cake topper is Mickey and Minnie. I really like the Lenox one, but at minimum it was $50. Besides, my dear fiancé picked this one out! He had an opinion! So we got it. It’s been sitting on my bookshelf since February, our last trip to Disneyland.

I also found (and subsequently purchased) a few boxes of Mickey head candy confetti in none other than my colors, red, white, and black. If the cake maker so chooses, she can use these for decorating. Otherwise, we’ll find some other use for them (who says they need to be eaten?)

I debated on adding real red roses, but as you’ll soon see from my flower post, red roses are rather pricey, and since nobody REALLY cares about what the cake looks like, I decided to pass.

*UPDATE*
I now have a photo of the actual cake. For a red, black, and white wedding, it was a little odd to have a brown and pink cake! But I blame that on Minnie (with her pink roses that I couldn't bear to repaint). It turned out just fine, though. And I'm sure you're all wondering... was it really as good as we had hoped? Absolutely! I didn't actually eat a piece on my wedding day (bleh), but we had leftovers for a few days. And my new sister-in-law, the cake baker, is coming back this summer and making us a one year anniversary cake just like it, but smaller. Yay! (By the way, she has now made several wedding cakes and other occasion cakes for friends which are absolutely delicious. Everyone loves them!)

So I started a new job last July, and as soon as my coworkers found out I was getting married, they all said I should use Reggie, another employee.  He is technically in Marketing, but he is a jack of all trades, including taking all the firm’s professional photography.  I found out he does photography on the weekends, and he’s also a pro with Photoshop.  Since he’s technically an “amateur”, he’s cheap, too!  For $500, he will be doing family and wedding party photos for at most 3 hours, then have a 3 hour break, then do the ceremony and reception for another 3 ½ hours.  We also get 1 8x10, 20 4x6, Photoshop editing, a website for everyone to view the photos, and full rights to the photos.  A smokin’ deal.  (Especially when a friend of ours recently paid more than $4,000 for her 2 photographers, which is more than half the budget for our wedding!)

So enough about my photographer. Instead of making guests wait for an hour or more between the ceremony and reception, we are finishing the formal shots beforehand. (Forget tradition, the groom not only saw my dress the minute I found it online, he helped zip it up when I was trying it on.) We originally wanted to get married at Descanso Gardens, which is a beautiful multi-acre garden with trails nearby. But when we discovered that at minimum it’s $5,000 just to rent the site, you have to use their caterer, whose plates started at $75 per plate!! Definitely NOT in our budget. But we still want the photos taken there. So for $250, we can have 10 people for 2 hours. We decided on us, photographer, 5 parents, maid of honor, and best man. We’ll take photos from about 12:00-2:00, and then return to his parent’s house for more photos with both families. And we’ll still have about 3 hours to get the backyard set up for the wedding.

Total Cost: $500

*UPDATE*
Added a few photos (unedited; can't find the right ones at the moment). Are we glad we went amatuer? Absolutely. Could we have gotten better photos if we had paid a professional? Most likely, but we're happy with what we have. It also helps that we have several amateur photographers on both sides of the family, so there were about 5-6 cameras around at all times. In fact, we have almost no good photos of the ceremony because you can find a photographer in every shot!!

So invitations were my lowest priority, but they were sort of important, so I searched the Internet. By this point, I had decided to incorporate our honeymoon theme (Disney) into some aspects of the wedding, starting with the invitation. If you’ve ever looked for Disney wedding invitations, you’ll soon realize that no matter what website you go to, you get the same dozen designs over and over again. I chose www.invitationconsultants.com because I think it was the cheapest, but I might be wrong. The wording was an issue for me, because while his parents are contributing their backyard, and my dad is chipping in a whopping amount of $500, I didn’t feel like either of them deserved to be the “hosts” of the wedding, as we are paying for all of it ourselves. The wording I decided on went like this:

This day I will marry my best friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, love

Ayme (full name)
and
Ben (full name)
have decided that forever and ever begins
on Saturday, the nineteenth of July
two thousand and eight

Please join us in celebrating our marriage
at six o’clock in the evening
(Street Address)
(City, State, Zip)

Reception to immediately follow


All their processing times were as expected, or faster. My only complaint is that I didn’t receive the sheer overlays with the package, and had to contact them. They replied to my email within the hour, and shipped them as soon as possible. So though it was an annoyance, they handled it very efficiently. Great customer service. I ordered 50 invites and 50 thank you cards for $264. No extras at all. The thank you cards are extremely small (think a bit larger than a business card) and see-through! I can imagine writing on them, and being able to see through to the front, which does not look very neat. But that is not their fault, necessarily, and I will live with it.

*UPDATE*
Wow, I can't find a single photo of my invites. Sorry. Looking back a year later, I wish I would have had my sister do my invites and save the money. Very few expenses in my cheap wedding do I regret, but this is one of them. The thank you cards were not as bad as I thought they would be, though, but I underestimated the number we would need (apparently, people give gifts when they're not even invited to the wedding... who knew?) We ended up buying some extras elsewhere, and man are they expensive!

This main photo is me... my 2 sisters spent close to 2 hours individually curling (and might I add frying) each of those curls for my high school graduation 5 years ago. This is probably the best hair day I've ever had, and it lasted not only through graduation, but a bus ride to Grad Nite at Disneyland, and 6 hours of dancing. It still looked good enough the next morning.

Anyway, my point is, I hate my straight hair, and I never expend the effort to make it look very good. I love my hair curly with ringlets. I'm pretty sure I'll have an updo, loosely based on the other examples I have. (And take a close look at that last one... wow!)

I was planning on getting it professionally done along with my make-up, but my sister offered to do it for me. She not only created the look on the left, she has done my hair for other occasions as well. I think I'll try it out.

*UPDATE*
Sorry for the silly face, but it was a fairly good close up of my hair with no one else around. While I had been hoping for curls more along the lines of the old picture of me I posted, I was satisfied with what my sister came up with. Since it was a really hot day, my curls fell pretty quick, so it was curled a couple times that day, but no worries. I left up the other photo examples for ya'll to ogle.

I found it tonight! I was perusing some message boards, trying to get feel for renting a dress, when one user mentioned that Bari Jay bridesmaids dresses come in white, too, and some make perfectly lovely wedding dresses. That was fine with me, since I have no desire to have a big poofy dress with a train (and it doesn't have to be very big to be considered poofy to me).

Anyway, I was clicking on thumbnails, and when I saw this one, I said, "Oooh" out loud. The gathered material at the top is exactly what I've been looking for, and for some reason I haven't been able to find. The small sash is perfect, and I can make it any two colors I want. I'm thinking red and cream, though I'm not sure. I continued going through the dresses and found the similar tea-length dress I may use as my maid of honor's dress. I don't know though... how can I spend the same amount on both dresses? Hehe.

Luckily, there is a store not two blocks from my apartment that carries Bari Jay dresses, so hopefully they'll have a dress in my size to try on. I found it online somewhere for $133, so I can try it on in person, then order it where ever it's cheapest.

This has been a good day for wedding planning.

UPDATE: I ended up ordering the two dresses through the local dress shop, and they ended up being $160 a piece. I'm very happy with both of them. Very good quality materials. I ended up going with pure white, though.

Total Cost Including Tax: $346

*ANOTHER UPDATE*
I had to post some picture of us actually IN the dresses. Because I looked and looked for these types of pictures and couldn't find them. Both dresses were lovely, and you wouldn't believe how many compliments we got on such sweet yet simple dresses. (The other brides- friends of ours who got married within the last two years- I think were secretly jealous that I paid less for my wedding dress than they paid for the bridesmaid dresses, and I was a lot more comfortable, too!)

Within 3 days of getting engaged, I already had my honeymoon in mind. I've thought about it for years, but it wasn't until the wedding became a reality that I realized my mind is made up, and it wasn't even a consideration before.
First, we talked about going on a Caribbean cruise, and flying to Florida. Since I have never even been to the east coast, I was getting really excited just to be going there. I said, "We can't fly all the way to Floriday and not do anything." So we started talking about spending a few days at Walt Disney World (WDW). The more we talked about it, the more excited I got, and realized we can't just spend two days there. Always budget-conscious, we realized we could only do one: the cruise or WDW. The cruise was crossed out quickly enough, because of the size of the rooms, and a few other details. I became fixated on Florida, then, and researched the website like crazy.

I am now convinced that this is where we are going. I am planning a vacation that is around a 6 night stay, in either a moderate or deluxe resort (according to their designations) with 5 days park hopper tickets including the water parks and more, and hopefully a few extra indulgences. I have also discovered Disney World Honeymoon Registry. We can pick what we want (including hotel and tickets) and guests can choose what they help pay for in manageable increments. This means we can get the vacation I've always dreamed of at a fraction of the price to us. Who needs another toaster anyway?

Update: The honeymoon is officially planned for September 11-19. We'll be staying at the Wilderness Lodge Resort for 6 nights, and then renting a car and driving to Cape Canaveral to visit the Kennedy Space Center for 2 nights. Because we're waiting 2 months, we're also going to Disneyland for 3 days right after the wedding, and staying at Park Vue Inn (directly across from the park entrance) and I splurged on a jacuzzi room!

Total Estimated Cost:
Disneyland (3 days with Annual Passes) about $1100
Disney World (and airfare): $3400
Kennedy Space Center: $600
Total: $5,100
(So hopefully guests will contribute to our honeymoon registry!)

*UPDATE*
Sorry, no photos. Our camera broke a few pictures in, and the pictures we do have are too lame to post. But Disney World was WORTH EVERY PENNY. We saved a lot of money in some areas, but ended up spending it on splurges like a day at the Grand Floridian Spa. How did the registry turn out, you wonder? Better than I expected, but by no means paid for the trip! I think we got around $500 total from several guests. I'm still not sure I liked have a mini-honeymoon and then a real honeymoon two months later, but it was kind of neat to have more time off. But there's a reason why Disney World is so cheap in September... hurricane season! We were lucky and barely missed Hurricane Ike and a couple others, which easily could have ruined our plans. I'm thinking early December would be a better time to go.

So we found out a few weeks ago that we could get a cat in our apartment. We soon found an adorable gray and white tabby at the Pasadena Humane Society, but we had to wait several days to get her. Unbeknownst to me, Ben had decided this would be the perfect time to propose. So he very slyly confirmed the type of ring I wanted, and bought it. He had an appointment to pick it up at 2:00 on Saturday, August 11. He also told me we couldn't pick up our cat until 3:00. His "appointment" was to meet with a coworker about how to help her while she was out of town. I had no idea, of course. Anyway, he asked if he could sit in the backseat while I drove home so that he could hold our kitten. I agreed, even though I thought it was odd. He explained that there was more room back there. Anyway, while I drove, he attached the ring to a pink ribbon, and loosely tied it around her neck. We got home, and he took her out of the box. "Amelia Kae West, will you marry me?" as he handed our kitten to me. Stupidly, my first words were, "Are you joking?" I had not seen the ring at that point. So he showed me that around her neck was a white gold, princess-cut diamond ring. He claims that I just stood there looking at it for a few seconds. Then I said, "Oh, yes!" I was thinking, "What do you do when you just get engaged?" So I tried to lean over and kiss him, but forgot that we had a slightly scared new kitty in our arms between us, so it was kind of awkward. We set her down, and then kissed properly. One of the next things I stupidly uttered was, "I haven't even showered today!" Lol. It was perfect, though, and a complete surprise to me.