First Comes Love (& Dinner!), THEN Comes Marriage - Reception Dinner BEFORE the Ceremony?! - BANANAPANTS's Green Wedding by Color Blog

First Comes Love (& Dinner!), THEN Comes Marriage

I know, this is backwards.

But hear me out while I think out loud:

We really want to do an outdoor sunset ceremony.
a) It's beautiful (duh!)
b) It's July (MUCH cooler temps at sunset!)

But sunset won't start on our wedding day until approximately 8 p.m. Our guests will probably kill us if we don't feed them something before that. Originally, we were going to make it clear to everyone that we were just doing a dessert reception, (so read between the lines peeps and feed yourselves!). BUT I've been thinking, really, it's not often that our extended family and friends come together, and we want to spend as much time with them as we can. A late 8 p.m. start seems like we're wasting an opportunity... Besides, most of our guests are traveling hours to come see us, the least we could do is feed them dinner, right?

Sooooooo, what if we kick off our day with a cocktail reception at 4:30, and then do a buffet dinner at 5:30? You know, get the party started with our Grand Entrance (right now I'm GA GA over Michael Jackson's "Can You Feel It" for this - we'd ask DJ Brother Jer to customize a mix for us, extending the instrumental intro of the song so our DJ can use it as a backdrop while he/she introduces the wedding party and us). Here, take a listen:

Yeah, baby, CAN YOU FEEL the love and excitement?!

Anyway, off that tangent, and back to the item at hand. (Sorry. A.D.D. much?) So yeah, do the entrance at 5:15 or so, and move straight to toasts (giving my Man of Honor and the Best Man their proper due - no distractions of salad and food yet), and then onward to food. Set aside an hour for dinner, so that brings us to hmm, 6:30ish. Ok.

Our reception is about a 5 minute drive from our ceremony, and we'll have school buses transporting everyone (no parking headache this way). We'll probably have to do a few trips, so set aside 30 minutes for this "commute." Brings us to 7:00ish.

Get everyone seated - 10 minutes, max, for that. (Ushers, what ushers? Seat yourselves, yo, unless you're VIP.)

So that leads to us starting the ceremony at 7:15. Our ceremony should take about 30 minutes, ending at 7:45, still before sunset even starts. Yeah, I can live with that...OR, we could set up lawn games for people to play and keep them entertained with that until we're ready to begin at 8, so the ceremony wraps up just as the sun officially sets at 8:30.

Regardless of the time, after the ceremony, bus everyone back to the reception, where pie will be served upon their arrival, and begin our dance after dessert. (And the reception venue staff can clear tables and set up pies during our ceremony, easy peasy.)

Hmm, I'm liking this...

What do YOU think? Is this crazy?

Naw...everyone is breaking the norm in different ways. I like how people are doing their own thing and what makes them happy. If this is wat your are liking then do for it. people will always have things to say about your choices bad and good but in the end you have to do what you like. I agree 8pm would seem like a waste you want to get in as much as you can. I say have the dinner before.

Its your day and what a fun way to add a memorable twist! I think it is an awesome idea and would probably make you both more relaxed then having the big waiting in the wings ceremony build-up. Then you could really party after!

it'skinda crazy---but i like it! It's really different. I would just make sure your RSVPS or invitaitons make it clear of the timeline somehow. It can be a little confusing since it's not the norm.

Love it. We're doing brunch before the wedding, at 12. Wedding at 2, cocktail reception following the ceremony. No dance; we're not dance people - make it your own, and who cares what other people think?

Thanks for your feedback ladies! The more I think about this, the more I like it!

Tiggre, I think you're right on with the importance of the invitation wording. Something cute like "First Comes Love (& Dinner!), THEN Comes Marriage!" And adding a specific timeline to it for further explanation. Got to go talk to the mister about this...

i like it...a lot! but will you and hubby be too nervous to eat? i would be!!!

That's a good point, and I thought about that too. The good thing is nerves don't affect my appetite! :)

Honestly, I think we'll feel nerves right before (and during) our Grand Entrance, but the toasts and dinner will melt them all away, and this time with friends and family will probably help relax me for the ceremony, at least right before I walk down the aisle! (Ha ha!) FH felt the same way. Yay!

I like it! We're doing a luncheon, then the ceremony and then just letting people decide what they want to do after the ceremony (we have a small guest list so it will work, that way people don't have to worry about it being a long day for their kids and the family from out of town has time to head home, the rest of us will just go celebrate at a restaurant). I agree that you can make it what you want, that is what makes it YOUR day!

The two things I would suggest are:
1) Put the timeline down in slightly more formal format: Include a program for the entire day in the invitation or have one ready for guests upon arrival at the first event.

People tend to like clear guidelines, this also helps for the people that skim read. If they see a list for 6:00 PM - Dinner, 7:00 PM - Transportatio, 8:00 PM - Ceremony begins...they'll at least catch that even if they don't get all of the text around it...I am amazed at the number of people that don't fully read things - my FH is terrible for it, and he'll show up at events but have no clue what is going on LOL

2) Leave yourself more time for everyone to get seated, I think 10 minutes is optimistic...unless your guestlist is 20 people.

Things can always go wrong, a bus might show up a little late, someone forgot something on the bus and went back, so and so's kid had to go to the washroom, another person just can't decide where they want to sit, someone else sees someone they haven't yet had a chance to talk to so they stand there talking for 20 minutes ignore everyone asking them to take their seats...you get the idea!

I think you and your FH have come up with a great idea! It sounds like it will be a lot of fun to plan since you can do so many different things when you're not following the traditions!

Wow, SurpriseBride, THANK YOU so much for all of your wonderful feedback. You made many excellent points to consider! :)

i love this idea. i think like others said - as long as you make it pretty clear to guests the order of events - you can avoid snafus but think its a super unique and fun way to change it up! everyone likes variety and it might help guests out and they won't get "bored" sitting at the reception hall for 4 hours until the dance starts...I'd think you might get more people to stick around for the dance this way. Good luck, but I think its a great idea!

I know this is late for this but...aylee bits has a really cute timeline that can be customized and easily inserted into your invitation.

Thanks for letting me play...if it works, you'll be able to see it. :-)

Well, crap... timeline's WAY too big. I probably should have shrunk it before I uploaded it. But you can click on and see it in all it's glory. LOL

Chellie - THANK YOU so much! This cartoon timeline is awesome, and so us. :)

Love it!

lol very choppy... i love the idea of a sunset wedding tho.If ur going through with this I highly suggest a wedding planner lol. what did u decide?

Yep, it's a go! My mom was a little like, "Wha?" But she's coming around, especially after the explanation, and knowing she won't have to worry about sweating (too much) in her dress.

And we're definitely having a Day Of Coordinator. The peace of mind will be sooooo worth it.

You'll have to let us know how you do your timeline. I had such a good time doing that one. And... surprise... I figured out how to shrink it. :-) The clipart I used was from retrographix.com, if you want to take a peek, and www.ayleebits.com has a template for timelines.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Thanks for the info Chellie! I was wondering what you used. Ayleebits templates and tutorials are REALLY helpful! :)

FH is an artist/graphic designer, so he's in charge of all of our "deliverables" as he calls them. I'm guessing he'll be using Adobe's Photoshop and Illustrator for everything, but we shall see. I just show him inspiration and elements of things I like, and he uses that to kind of steer his own ideas and designs...