Wedding Reception - Cash Bar.....Why tacky??? - BARBIE09's Black Wedding by Color Blog

I've heard that over and over and really don't care! I/we're paying for this day and you are right. It should be about us, not what is behind the bar. We're having a cash bar as well and to tell you the truth, I think that some of that proceeds of alcohol should go to the bride and groom! Heck, we are paying for the venue and I think it's ridiculous for them to charge us $15.00/bottle for a champagne toast on top of purchasing price...OK???? Hey, we're having a signature punch fountain, coffee/tea and water. If they have a thirst for booze,in go on ahead and let them pay. More money in our pockets....:o)

I absolutely agree with you!!!! I just flat out DONT drink & neither does a lot of my family, but FI's family does pretty frequently and it is hard for me to even think about paying $2,000 for alcohol!! I think its nuts! I told FI absolutely not, but he got his rents to take that tab & now its going to be a full on open bar, my only decision was it is ONLY going to be wine, no liquor! I dont want it getting "dirty" or "messy" at my wedding! lol

I dont think it is tacky one bit to have a cash bar!! Dont feel bad at all! You are completly right it is your day and if they feel it is necessary to live without alcohol for a couple hours then it can be on their dime!!! IMO! :D

I dont think its tacky at all weddings are expensive enough not to mind having to pay for someone to get drunk at our expense, we're Irish that would be one costly wedding.

I don't get it either - I don't think I've EVER been to a wedding that's not a cash bar. It's just the way we do things around here, I guess. However, I find that I'm really easily influenced by what others think (something I'm working on!), and I don't want to offend anyone. We're just doing wine and beer, and possibly a signature vodka or rum drink, and I had wanted to do an open bar, but the potential costs are huge. I'm thinking that instead, we'll do a donation bar to possibly recoup some of the costs. I'll make up a cute jar or something, and hopefully people will get that we're not rich and help us out a bit.

It is considered tacky because you are supposed to be hosting everything. It's like telling people, "I'm serving chicken, but if you want beef - you will have to pay another $20."

That said, I think by no means is it you responsibility to get people drunk. Non-alcoholic drinks should be free, of course. I also think wine with dinner (1 bottle red and 1 white for each table) is a nice edition. Anything above that, is fine to make people pay for.

The popular thing where I live is "toonie" bars. People have to pay $2/ drink to help with the costs.

I've also been to weddings where only the cocktail hour is complimentary drinks, everything after that is cash bar.

My wedding is a cocktail reception. We are getting a keg of our favorite beer. We will also be offering a couple selections of wine and 2 signature cocktails. There will be non-alcoholic versions of both of the signature cocktails as well. There is no way I'm feeding or getting 200 people drunk.

Honestly. I think only selfish rude people think its tacky. The thought of a bride and groom spending thousands of dollars just to liquor up other people and having a huge bill to pay at the beginning of their marriage because of it is horrifying to me. Only those snobs who have no concept of what it's like to be broke who are obsessed with their hair and clothes are the ones who think its tacky. If it pissed them off so bad to know there are people who have to have a cash bar for hard liquor at their weddings, then they need to share the wealth and pay for the booze themselves and shut up.

Pretty much anytime someone who behaves like a goody two shoes doesn't agree with something, they use the word tacky to describe it.

Where I live, cash bar is the norm. We provided non alcoholic drinks, champagne, and beer, and we bought several bottles for mixed drinks. After that they had to pay cash if they wanted to get bombed. NOBODY complained.

I don't think its tacky at all. We went to a wedding reception that had a certain amount of wine and a couple of kegs. As soon as that was out or if you wanted something else a cash bar was available. It was one of the nicest receptions I've been to and nobody there felt that it was tacky at all! We enjoyed the option of having whatever we wanted to drink! The doctor I was working for when I first got engaged actually suggested we have a cash bar! He had one for his daughter at her wedding along with free margaritas until they ran out. I think a cash bar also helps with the drunk driving aspect.

I don't think it is rude by any means.
And i completely agree with Vintagebabe!
I have attended several cash bar receptions and have never found it offensive or tacky.
This is your wedding. Do what you want. You always have the option of having no bar at all, so your guests should be happy that there is one. And if they wish to have an alcoholic beverage then they can pay for one.
And that's how I feel about that :]

i HATE the word tacky when used in this context. it is not tacky in my opinion. I always thought it was a bonus if the alcohol at a wedding was free but I never judged the bride and groom if it wasn't.

I don't understand why it's considered tacky either. Where I am from, it's UNUSUAL to have an open bar. Everyone that gets married in the area we are getting married, has a cash bar. It's what guests expect when they attend a wedding in that area. We just don't have room in the budget to pay for an open bar. If I could afford it, I definitely would. I completely agree with mikeandmel, I think it's unfair when people judge a bride and groom for having a cash bar.

I'm having a cash bar. I don't think its tacky at all. We already spending a lot for the wedding alone open bar for us would have been over 3000.

Our families are not able to contribute financially to our wedding so we're doing a cash bar.

On the reception invites we put:

"Complimentary wine will be served with dinner
No-host bar available"

If people have a problem with it, they know about it well in advance, and they can choose not to come. There will be 2 bottles of wine on each table and a champange toast. Those 2 things alone are costing us $2000.00!!! The ones who dont come because we arn't getting them drunk are the ones Im glad arnt there anyways :)

I don't know that it's tacky, per se. However, I do believe that you should either host the bar or just not offer one. The idea of guests coming to your wedding, bringing you a gift, probably buying a dress (not to mention a gift for the shower) and possibly even travelling long distances in staying in a hotel is the reason why I fought tooth and nail with my family to have an open bar. i just think that you should not be asking your guests to pay for ANYTHING the day of the event, chances are they've already emptied their wallets for your special day.

That being said, I don't think people who have open bars are tacky...it just puts a slight damper on the evening when one shells out for a glass of wine.

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It's irrelevent if you're a drinker or not. The point of the etiquette is: You are a host. If I invited someone over for dinner, I wouldn't charge them for salt and pepper.
Even though some people believe that salt and pepper aren't necessary to dine with, or needed for dinner, some people prefer salt and pepper with their food. Same with alcohol. Why are you going to pay for sprite and not beer? solely because it's more expensive?

That's why it's tacky. Because what you serve shouldn't be solely based on the price tag.

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