Ok Fellow bridal bloggers! Idk wat to do (well I really do but deep down inside i kno its not they real way to go especially for our future family.) me, and my family dont get along with my fiancee fam I mean if I was to ever arrange a get together one of the options WILL happen: ww3 will jump off into a big riot, majority of the ppl wont show, or if everyone do show there will be awkwardness in the air and none of the families will interact. Basically I have tried to be nice to his family but there is a select few that try to act like they can run over me, and they have treated my fiancee like a stepchild all his life and he will even tell you he is the black sheep of the family. Well anyway a had a talk with his immediate family and they told me even tho we are engaged if I want to be apart of their family I have to earn respect, (and with them earning respect is kissing a**) But I feel if you cant respect me for being with this man for four years, then there is no hope, and im not going to try again to make it work with them no more because I have tried in the past and we'll be cool for a bit but like just recently I got into it with his aunt over something stupid as she thought I was talking about her when I clearly told her that It had nothing to do with her this past summer, then afterwards i continued to be around the other family shaking the beef me and his aunt had and decided to ignore her, but just recently this past thanksgiving was my Fiancee's birthday and we went to visit his grandmother and his mom they were have i family get together and we had jus missed his mom because she went to the store, so we said hi to everyone and left later on that night when we got home and settled in his aunt (the one who I got into it with) calls his cell phone demanding that she be put on speakerphone so we both can hear what she says, she cursed us both out and saying I dont need to be around the family im not welcomed and how dare my fiancee bring me around them and when I went I never spoke to anyone (which was a lie) then hung up so I didnt wanna call back on his grandma phone with all that drama on turkey day and my future husband's birthday so I sent her a very long message telling her how disrespectful she was for doing that on his birthday (which btw she never wished him a hbd) and I wasnt her child to be talking to me like that, and disrespecting me and him and things like that, so a month and a half later she responds back (xtra late) being even more disrespectful then the next day early in the morning she comes to my house ringing the bell like she was the police waking my entire family up with this fb drama. so the entire house ran out on her and it fot so bad that she almost got shot because she wouldnt leave, we had to call the police to get her to leave. And his entire family jumped on the bandwagon to be against me and i didnt even do anything, even though its not stressing me but now were working on haveing a child and I already kno they will be harassing him to bring the baby around and I honestly dont trust them even if he's around our child and Ive always dreamed about haveing a bridal party, and a big wedding, and a engagement party. But seein how his family acting the way they are those dreams are down the drain because its gonna end in a disaster. so im staying as far from them as possible and living my life, and another reason they dont like me is because Im having the wedding on a cruise. Now that is something me and my fiancee both agreed on, but they think im forceing him to do itand im controlling and that is far frm the case, he doesnt listen to them like he used to because I told him to stop letting them talk down to him the way they do SIGHS! ALL THIS DRAMA IS JUST RIDICULOUS!!! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE???
I think if you have tried everything possible to bring in peace and they just don't wanna budge or change then i totally agree with the plan you and you FHubby made to stay as far away from them as possible. It will definitely affect your future in terms of when God blesses you with kids and all that but its the right decision. the most important thing is that your man loves you and wants to be with you regardless! so you do you hunnie. it is your wedding at the end of the day and if you're paying for it you can have in your back yard or on a cruise its entirely up to you and your man and what makes yall happy. Life is too short to live it for the sake of pleasing people who have wrong motives for their actions. I'll be praying for yall, God changes situations and changes the hearts of men like nothing and no one else can. don't stress don't let it get to you just plan your day and be strong, be happy and pray. There will come a day when they will respect you.
Honestly, I wouldn't want any of that around my children because thierwell being is in danger. You and the innocent child don't deserve that kind of disrespect and lifestyle. In the bible, in some marriage verse it says to "Cleave only to each other." Meaning that just the two of you, not the outside family, trouble, negative energy be involved in your marriage. You and FH will be the only ones on your relationship. No matter what they say or do, it's about you and FH.
Now, if FH chooses to be in that situation because it is his family that is his choice. Personally, it's not a good one if he continues to be around it and flare up more animosity with the members of his family.
Number 1, he should be protecting you and your children. If it comes down to him changing his phone number, address, getting a special phone that they can not contact him and he can choose to turn that regular phone off for peace. This means, no contact with the negative energy. Remember, they are on a mission.
If you guys do the wedding cruise, GREAT! It would be nice to have a beautiful wedding and getaway as well. You may have to only invite yourselves, or if you really trust a handful of close friends and family that gets along, fine...then so be it! It's a celebration of your unity and love together. You really shouldn't bring this is your marriage/wedding on a cruise.
Well, I wish you luck! I hope this doesn't result to restraining orders being placed for your protection? Please take this seriously and I have a feeling this is not over. I hope it will be.
Having been thru all the FIL drama before, let me tell you...its just going to be there. let them and all their unhappiness stay in their square and u enjoy planning ur future life together. You will always be the blame bcuz his family doesn't want to b'lieve he has a voice; or that he doesn't want to come around or that any idea was his...it just has to be coming from you. So be it. I learned to be overly nice...syrupy sweet in fact. they didne else. they didn't know how to take me. I thanked them for their (unsolicited) advice and replied we would sit down and discuss it later. If they couldn't find fault in my manners, there would be something else. As long as his mom is on board, then damn his aunt, uncle, cousin and anyone else. Sit with his G'mom separately, maybe even take her out to dinner (with him of course). Let her see how different things can be apart from everyone else. However, if SHE chooses to disrespect you, just let her know how you really wanted to have a relationship with her but if she chooses otherwise then you respect her decision and just limit your time around her (any anyone else who chooses the drama). Good luck hun!