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We dont get along :-(

Ok Fellow bridal bloggers! Idk wat to do (well I really do but deep down inside i kno its not they real way to go especially for our future family.) me, and my family dont get along with my fiancee fam I mean if I was to ever arrange a get together one of the options WILL happen: ww3 will jump off into a big riot, majority of the ppl wont show, or if everyone do show there will be awkwardness in the air and none of the families will interact. Basically I have tried to be nice to his family but there is a select few that try to act like they can run over me, and they have treated my fiancee like a stepchild all his life and he will even tell you he is the black sheep of the family. Well anyway a had a talk with his immediate family and they told me even tho we are engaged if I want to be apart of their family I have to earn respect, (and with them earning respect is kissing a**) But I feel if you cant respect me for being with this man for four years, then there is no hope, and im not going to try again to make it work with them no more because I have tried in the past and we'll be cool for a bit but like just recently I got into it with his aunt over something stupid as she thought I was talking about her when I clearly told her that It had nothing to do with her this past summer, then afterwards i continued to be around the other family shaking the beef me and his aunt had and decided to ignore her, but just recently this past thanksgiving was my Fiancee's birthday and we went to visit his grandmother and his mom they were have i family get together and we had jus missed his mom because she went to the store, so we said hi to everyone and left later on that night when we got home and settled in his aunt (the one who I got into it with) calls his cell phone demanding that she be put on speakerphone so we both can hear what she says, she cursed us both out and saying I dont need to be around the family im not welcomed and how dare my fiancee bring me around them and when I went I never spoke to anyone (which was a lie) then hung up so I didnt wanna call back on his grandma phone with all that drama on turkey day and my future husband's birthday so I sent her a very long message telling her how disrespectful she was for doing that on his birthday (which btw she never wished him a hbd) and I wasnt her child to be talking to me like that, and disrespecting me and him and things like that, so a month and a half later she responds back (xtra late) being even more disrespectful then the next day early in the morning she comes to my house ringing the bell like she was the police waking my entire family up with this fb drama. so the entire house ran out on her and it fot so bad that she almost got shot because she wouldnt leave, we had to call the police to get her to leave. And his entire family jumped on the bandwagon to be against me and i didnt even do anything, even though its not stressing me but now were working on haveing a child and I already kno they will be harassing him to bring the baby around and I honestly dont trust them even if he's around our child and Ive always dreamed about haveing a bridal party, and a big wedding, and a engagement party. But seein how his family acting the way they are those dreams are down the drain because its gonna end in a disaster. so im staying as far from them as possible and living my life, and another reason they dont like me is because Im having the wedding on a cruise. Now that is something me and my fiancee both agreed on, but they think im forceing him to do itand im controlling and that is far frm the case, he doesnt listen to them like he used to because I told him to stop letting them talk down to him the way they do SIGHS! ALL THIS DRAMA IS JUST RIDICULOUS!!! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE???