bridetiffany's Blue wedding


06/23/2008
Tension_Child
Tension_Child
   
Dealing with Difficult Family Issues
How to deal?
I have a multitude of family issues that I am dealing with:
My parents are divorced. Unfortunately they aren't the type of divorced parents that can get along at family events. They hate each other. They scream at each other. They act immature. I've already asked them repeatedly to act mature and normal for just this one day, but now my mom is saying that she's not going if my dad will be there. It just goes to show you that all my parents care about are themselves, really. They are both invited and I want them both to be there - they are my parents! My mom is using money as an excuse, but I am offering to pay for her accomodations at our destination wedding, so she's just being spiteful I think. She also refuses to call me or answer the phone, she only talks to me through email.

My two younger sisters are not participating in wedding planning at all. I found out yesterday that my youngest sister is planning on going to a play in Bronson, Missouri the weekend of my wedding instead of my wedding. When was she planning on telling me?

My other sister refuses to go if her ex boyfriend is there, who just happens to be one of FH's groomsmen and best friends.

Also, when my family gets together they are loud, they fight, they are opinionated, they are mean to others, they are judgmental, and generally not the most fun bunch to be around. My Future Hubby's family is going to think my family is crazy!

The wedding is only 45 days away and I want my family to be there, but they are making it really difficult. Should I just grin and bear it? Or should I tell them to do whatever they want? I've already tried to accommodate them any way possible. Does anyone else have difficult family issues?
difficult parents, difficult family, family, issues
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makelifehappen
 |  -, Canada  |  06/23/2008
This is YOUR day. You should do whatever makes you most comfortable because at the end of the day it is all about the 2 of you.

If you are desperate to have them there, so it, but know that there is a possibility for disaster.

If you can't take it anymore, tell them to back off and ask that they take their crap elsewhere:)

My family would have been the death of us!!!

I have never been more pleased with our decision to cut them out.

I am starting a new life. My own life. My own family. This is about us, not them and if it means washing my hands of the madness for one of the most important days in my life, then I see it as taking care of me for a change!

I find myself sick to death of people expecting us to accommodate and care for their needs all the time. Bloody nonsense!

I have a close friend that has had NO contact with her family in years because of the incredible display of irrational, abusive, erratic behaviour at her wedding and worst of all...they live to remember that for the rest of their lives:(

Take care of yourself and your husband and the rest will fall into place!

Best wishes!

Melissa
scheri
 |  Vancouver, BC, Canada  |  06/23/2008
I realize that these are your family members but do  you really want all that tension for you and your guests?
chineyelovesrickey
 |  Los angeles, CA, United states  |  06/23/2008
you don't need that extra tension and chaos at your wedding.  it is about you and your future hubby and if your family cannot put their feelings on hold for your day...and this may hurt...but tell them not to show up...actually they may claim to put their feelings on hold and all hell may break loose...so maybe you should tell them not to come
lnporter
 |  -, United states  |  06/24/2008
since this day is supposed to be about just the two of you, you should do what you think will make you the happiest on your special day. I've had some trouble with my mom (not nearly as much as you...) but she's really starting to come around, though along the way I had to tell myself to just get through it and focus on what the day is all about, and the significance. just keep planning, focus on your love for one another, and judt let it all go. if they come, then they come, and if not, then that's their loss. people can be SO selfish and SO hurtful, and it's just a waste to let it get to you. good luck, and let us all know how it turns out!!! :)
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