chineyelovesrickey's Purple wedding


03/26/2008
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bride_&_maid_of_honor_1
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update: how do you choose bridesmaids
So I will be getting married next year and we (rickey & i) are going to have 7 wedding attendants...anyway so here is my dilemma:

what happens when one of your oldest friends friendship changes and you are in their wedding just because it seems like the right thing to do...one of your oldest friends, common friends, having to answer questions about why one of your friends isn't a part of the wedding party (i'm just speculating here...but i feel strongly about these reasons)...am i supposed to follow suit? I know i would feel awkward having to be the person having to answer questions about why one of your oldest friends isn't in my wedding and all the other circle of friends is in the wedding, but if the friendship is different should they be in the wedding?

i mean to me it is an honor to be asked to be in someone's wedding...someone thought enough about you to be a part of a very special day. rickey asked me do i want to lower the wedding attendants so that i won't have to go through all of this, but he had his mind on having 7 attendants since 7 is a spiritual number.


I already know of 5 of my bridesmaid - sister MOH, 2 close friends (one of which says i should just keep the peace...that's what she did), his daughter as a junior bridesmaid, and his sister. that leaves 2 spaces...now my sister and one of my friends already know that they are a part of my special day and i will be officially them (my choices) one year from the actual wedding date so i have a lot of time (and so do they) but every now and then i get worried about this.

UPDATE:
So we have decided to just have 5 bridesmaids & groomsmen. My hunnybunny is going to talk to his sister about being a bridesmaid and the potential idea that my two other "friends" might not be in the wedding...I met his sister through one of those friends...she is very close to one of them and I have known that "friend" since the 5th grade but things have changed over the last few years. Another friend of mine (one of my future bridesmaids and included in this circle) asked me how am i going to explain to them how rickey's sister can be in the wedding and not them...i thought about that too...but I said "i'm not asking his sister to be my bridesmaid, rickey is. if she decides not to be in the wedding she has to explain that to rickey and not me." I really and truely do not like conflict & I can see this being a problem.

Augggghhh!!!
tags: bridesmaid, dilemma
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candy4brandi
 |  Everett, WA, United states  |  03/26/2008
how do you choose bridesmaids? i didn't have to choose i just knew. The 2nd i got engaged i called my 3 best friends and ther was no question in my mind that they wouldn't be my 3 bridesmaids
marta12
 |  Chicago, IL, United states  |  03/26/2008
I'm a FIRM believer in not asking too early. I actually made it VERY easy on myself and picked only family. My twin sis, my only girl cousin, his twin sisters and his daughter for Jr. Bridesmaid.
kimmyb
 |  Oakville, ON, Canada  |  03/27/2008
Don't stress over this....why not have 7 groomsmen and 5 bridesmaids. No one says you have to do everything like everybody else. The day is yours to do whatever you want. I don't believe in asking someone you aren't totally happy about just to have an even number. You shouldn't have to answer to anyone but your fiance because he's the one you are marrying.

I am having my two sisters and that's it. My fiance has two brothers but two best friends who are very close. And he will not choose so we are having 4 groomsmen. Each of my sisters will have two guys to escort them out...you know like on the runway! hehe. I told my sisters and they said "ah you mean I get two guys? Bring them on". Then for the reception they will do the dance with one guy and halfway through the song the other two will cut in.

I hope this helps. Good luck.
mrsawilliams
 |  Cypress, CA, United states  |  03/27/2008
you are not alone!  my wedding is still 13 months away; however, I have a so call "best friend" that I have known since I was 12, I am 29 now.  Our friendship changed years ago...long story short. She  is totally assuming that she is my MOH, I have to tell her that she is not.  I've asked my college roommate.  I'm not even sure that i want my "best friend" in the wedding.  I just have to say, that everyone is not going to be happy, but its not about them, its about the bride!  If the friendship has changed, she should know that- we (me and you) should not feel obligated, because family wants you to keep the peace.  If you look at your wedding pictures 10 years from now, will you still be talking to this person or asking yourself...we is she know?  If so, don't waste your time!
alexusjoanne08
 |  Houston, TX, United states  |  05/04/2008
My fiance told me, "Baby, if everybody is in the wedding, who is going to sit in the audience?"  Now that I am planning my wedding it was hard and I'm up to ten people on each side we originally planned for 6.  About your old best friend, my old best friend is a bridesmaid because our relationship did change a lot and my new best friend is my maid of honor because honestly I think we have been through more in the 3 years we've known each other than the old best friend that I knew sense 6th grade.  ITS YOUR WEDDING, I would suggest you pick a number and then pick those closest to you.  If someone asks tell them that you and your fiance agreed on a number and you picked those closest to you.  If they cant understand that, they have the problem.  After all it's not your intent to hurt anyone's feelings and your friends should understand that.
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