I gave my ring back last week!!!!!!!! Here's the story, it's kinda long....
We've been friends for a good 8mths before we became a relationship and the whole time he's been having issues with his daughter's mother. I met him when his daughter was 8mths and she's' 4yrs old now. The thing is that his bm (baby momma) hates the air I breathe because we are together. She doesn't let him see his daughter at all, especially ever since we had a child together(son).
There was a point in time where I had serious trust issues with him and I told him that. I explained to him that whatever it is he tells me, I hear him but I let his actions back his words up and then take what ever it was he told me. He showed me a text message she sent him saying if he can't be with her (of all the ways you can think of...going out on dates, sex, time) then he can't see his baby. So the times he was allowed to see his baby, I wondered if he went there with her or not. He says he doesn't.
February of 2010, we went to court because she was so mad at him for not leaving me to go back to her so she changed her number so he won't keep contact with his child (this was after I had our son...2mths after). He hadn't seen his daughter in 2mths at this time. I told him to just go over there. They had an arguement about whatever and he stated when he was leaving, he gave his daughter a hug while he was on one knee and his bm just started punching him in the back of his head. He sheild their daughter so she wouldn't mistake and hit her. Then he swung his arm out and pushed her out of his way.
She called the police and said he beat her and she wanted a restraining order on him and she fears for her life. in her affidiviate, she said April of 2009, she went through his wallet and seen a picture of us and started fussing at him (mind you, we've been living together since Christmas of 2007) and she put that he beat her and choked her until she blacked out in front of their daughter but she never called the police. (I've been knowing him since August of 2007 and from that time until today 6/24/11, he never hit me, cursed me out, or even yell at me).
There was a letter she wrote him November 18, 2009 (27 pgs long from 1am to 4am...she wrote the times on there) stating how much she loves him and want to be with him and when they were together, he always told her she would be by her side and that she know she made mistakes, but she changed and he always told her its never too late for change and now he's not with her. That she beats herself up, that she's ready to marry him, that when he visit his daughter and he's about to leave to come home, she would pick a fight just to make him stay longer because she hated that he had to come to me.
There was also a picture from when they first met in there, and a picture at a family party June, 2009 together. Mind you, in April, two months prior, she said she feared for her life and he choked her until she blacked out (in her affividiate) and that she cries everyday because she know im about to have his baby. all type of stuff in that letter.
I said, guess what, we are going to bring this long letter she wrote to you, the pics yawl have together, plus his ex girlfriend from when he was 12 till like 18 or 19 wrote a letter because she couldn't come with us stating that he's not an abusive person and that she beat him so many times and he never hit her back. Basically, when we went to court with everything (no lawyer), she had a lawyer and her lawyer read the letters, seen the pics and seen she was lying and dismissed the case. And told him to bring her to court to get his daughter.
After that, she moved, changed her number, we had no 411 of where his daughter was. He didn't see her in 10 mths...he seen her for her bday December, 2010 since that visit for 2minutes in Feb. I told him, what if you go to visit your daughter and you don't have a ride home (we dont have our liscense anymore) he stated he would never sleep over there or anything. I told him I'm still kind of iffy with him being around her, because I know she still wants him and im not sure exactly what he tells her, just because that's all she talks about is them getting back together when i have his phone. It usually ends up with her cursing him out in the text for either ignoring her or not saying what she wants to hear. (his outbox isn't saved, only inbox)
So....(i know, very long story, just telling you the history)...anywho
My son never seen her daughter and I HATE that. We have the court papers now for him to get her. BUT.....he was going to take my son to her house so his daughter can see our son because she keeps asking to see her brother (and to go home with her dad, but her momma, his baby momma, doesn't like me which means the little girl can't visit) That was on the 7th of June. He ended up not going, not sure if she said our son couldn't visit or what, but he didnt go either.
So...one the 10th, he textd me while i was at work and said he was visiting his daughter...I get off at midnight....when i got home....he wasn't there...i looked at my phone and seen 2 txt from him saying that his daughter is acting up because she doesn't want him to leave and she wanted to leave with him and he didnt know what to do. the other text said he was going to wait until she falls asleep to leave....
I know he didn't drive there, so he either caught the bust or got a ride there...but its now 1am....he's still not home...his phone goes straight to vm....its now 3:32am....nothing.....it's now 6am....i told him where he laid his head last night is where he can call his home(text and vm), because we talked about this exact senerio 7mths ago and here it is and he didnt do what he said. he calls me at 7am, i dont answer. he comes home finally at 10am and tries to hug me.........i backed away and pushed his arms away from me.
I gave him his ring back and told him he spent the night by another woman's house and i dont care how his daughter was behaving, because i told him she wouldnt be acting like that if he grabbed his balls and maned up to his bm and tell her he is TAKING his daughter on his visiation days instead of asking and her saying, no, you have to come to my house to see her. He promised me up and down they didnt have sex, but i didn't believe him. he said he slept in their daughter bedrooom....i didnt believe him.
three days later, i took his phone and looked in it and seen a text from her saying, i need a favor....you know, what you did last night.
i hit the door. i took his phone and my phone and i left. i went to my secret location and read all of the messages....there were some text in his inbox saying stuff about, i know why you act the way you act u just trying to protect your heart, but you're the mother of my daughter and we will have an unbreakable bond and she's the mother of my son and thats something you have to understand.
it was stuff he sent to her that she sent back to him (throwing it in his face of what he told her) cuz after those messages he sent to her, she had all caps cursing him out, calling him a liar. There was other stuff in the txt he sent her like...oh..."Tiff knows isly (i still love you), thats y we arent seeing eye to eye"
That was the MAIN thing that pissed me off, because im like...I don't know that....we're seeing eye to eye...what is he talking about.
When i questioned him about it after disappearing for 5hrs (7pm to 12am) he said that was when we were broken up in January and he told her that...I'm like....in January???? Whats the ish about u still love her...and in January, that wasn't even what our disagreement was about, so why are you tellin her this????? He states he was just venting. I said, well go finish venting...you need to leave.
He asking me if I really want him gone, I told him YES. The next day, he came to the house around 1pm and was telling me he promise on heaven and earth he didnt sleep with her when he was there and she had to be talking about babysitting when she asked him what u did last night and he didnt respond to her...(im not believing anything) i was getting ready for work and he's telling me every little thing and that she's just trying to break us up and he just want a relationship with her so she wont fuss at him infront their daughter and get mad at him and take their daughter to Dallas (she's done at least 6 times) and California (she done once) and he just tell her stuff sometimes so she wont fuss.
I told him, F word her feelings, bring her to court and good luck with standing up to her but we were through. He reproposed to me again and I told him I was late for work and I walked out. He called me constantly and I ignored his calls. He texts me "will you marry me" and i ignored it. he sent each text with a count down number, "will you marry me", "10" "9" "8" "7"....when he got to 1 he had a sad face and recounted.
I don't know what to do...I told him I love him so much, I'm in love with him so much, I want to be with him, BUT I love me way more and I wasn't happy with all this going on and I don't trust him. His momma called me, my momma called me, my other child's father momma called me....I dont want to talk to anyone. I haven't really spoke with any other women as far as what the real story is...
I just want to know am I wrong????? Should I believe him???? But if she's trying to break us up, he is the one who sent her those txt messages in January when we were on bad for a few hours and she resent it to him...i guess she saved it in her phone...idk...but my brother read the text and he said it just seemed like he was making peace...i didnt get that at all....
I love him...I really do, but I'm so selfish with him and dont want him tellin no bit.... anything just to butter her up. F word her feelings.
Sorry ladies, for those who really read this all...but I didnt know where else to turn. I usually talk to my sister but she passed in Feb, and my bestie passed too. I just don't know what to do...