This is corsea's Green Wedding!

With all the crap that's been going on lately, the wedding has really taken a backseat. May marked a year to go, the end of June was when I found out about the affair, July was dealing with trying to live with my parents under the same roof and ultimately deciding it couldn't be done, August was adapting to my new apartment, September was Corey moving in and losing my job, October was learning to deal with spending money I didn't have, and here we are...

November. Tomorrow will be 6 months until the wedding day! Where the heck did all the time go? Oh yeah... a lot of shuffling around and crying and feeling sorry for myself.

With the realization that we are slowly bleeding ourselves dry, I had to finally confess to Corey -- I'm not sure we can do the wedding as we've planned.

The money I had received from my grandparents in June was supposed to go to the wedding, and would have just about covered the reception quote we'd gotten. Unfortunately, with no money coming in and a lot going out (between rent, bills, and groceries), I've dipped, double-dipped, and practically dumped out all I have in savings. I'll have $400 to my name by the time this month is over.

I've finally managed to find a job and I start Monday, but I'm not sure what the hours will be like or if it'll get us back up on our feet.

We're probably going to end up having the ceremony the same as what we've planned, but the reception will have to be moved or just done away with completely.

I simply don't care anymore. I'm extremely passionate about the wedding itself, but a wedding is NOT a reception. A wedding is the ceremony itself, and the reception is just a self-satisfying party afterwards. No. If someone wants to host the party for us, let them step up and offer -- because until now, I haven't seen a single offer for help come rolling through this door.

And if nobody offers? That's fine. Come on down at 10am for our ceremony, it'll be over by 11:30 at the latest, and then you're free to have the rest of the day to yourself.

I'm tired of fighting. I can see either elopement or courtroom in our immediate future, and I don't care which happens, as long as we are married.

Don't have to worry about walking home so late at night anymore. I lost my job.

I have been continuously employed for over a year, although it's been on a contract basis... still, there isn't anything in place to protect me as a contract worker where I am (was), so I've had several renewals and heaps of praise for a job well done, but business is business and all but about 2 of the contract workers are being let go.

My last shift will be next Saturday, and if you read my last post on life, you'll know that I just moved out by myself. Corey has just moved in, but he's in school full-time and I worry about him concentrating on his last year of school if he's expected to hold this all together.

So here I am job hunting again, and it sucks. Because I really liked this job. It had great pay and the only drawback was the contract status.

Life sucks sometimes.

After almost 10 months of waiting and then having to LIE and say that I moved my wedding date closer, I was able to get my dress. My grandmother is tacking up the bottom so it won't be as long, and the shawl will be modified into a veil.

So, during the month of July, some shit hit the fan with my parents. I found out at the end of June that my father was having an affair, and about 2 weeks later my mom found out, too. They decided that it wouldn't be possible to work it out, so they have decided to divorce.

Their 25th wedding anniversary would be on the 14th of this month.

So, neither of my parents are well off... my father lost his job of 28 years in 2006 and has since gone back to school for a drastic career change, but as we all know, many things -- jobs included-- aren't what they used to be.

My mother is a part-time barber working for a small family business. She has been there for almost 30 years, but that doesn't change the fact that her boss has his own ideas about days and hours of work.

They really don't have the money to be able to go their separate ways and still keep the house (where I was living with them), so they've decided to claim bankruptcy and liquidate all of their assets.

To make a long story short, Corey and I went on a camping trip during the last weekend of July... when we returned on the Sunday, I texted my parents to let them know we were home safe, and that was when my mother decided to call me and tell me that my father had found a place to live, as had she, for that Saturday (August 1st), and that I needed to find something by then. I had 6 days to find a place to live.

Fast forward a little more than a month since then... I did find a place, it's out of town from both of my parents, and I walk to work because I don't have a car. It takes me about half an hour each way, and I'm usually walking home by myself at 2 or 3 in the morning. It's not ideal, but it's all I really have. I dipped into the wedding fund to finance my first and last month's rent, and for other living expenses. Corey has since moved in, and we are just starting to get used to living together. He started back at school today and I really hope this whole thing works out.

I also got my dress in, finally... will post those pictures next.

8 months + 1 week, no call, nothing.

There is a lot of drama and pain in my house right now, so I really almost don't care about the dress at all, or the wedding for that matter. Days creep by and I find myself feeling lost.

I'm hoping this is temporary, it will fade, but there are bigger concerns now than just how to pay for the wedding or alterations on my seemingly nonexistant dress.

If you're just tuning in now, it has been officially over 8 months since I ordered my dress; I was told at time of ordering that it would take 6-8 months. When I went in at 7 months to inquire about it, I was told that they had been busy with rush orders and that they have "priorities", which don't seem to include me as they already have my money.

I'm leaning towards a courtroom wedding as of right now. Although, to be honest, for the very first time in this relationship I'm not sure if I want a wedding at all.

I absolutely can't believe that this is the last dating "anniversary" we will have before we tie the knot and have a real anniversary!

Corey and I fell in love at first sight... I knew it was something special right away, but if you'd told me 8 years ago that I'd be marrying this man in 2010, I would have laughed in your face!

It does not feel like 8 years ago at all! We went to see a movie at a (now demolished) local cinema for our first date. I remember waiting for him outside the theatre, scared that he wouldn't show up (a couple of weeks before this, I was stood up by a guy who asked me out), and worried that even if he did, I'd be waiting in the wrong spot and miss him. But then I saw him waiting far across from me, and I felt the most amazing butterflies ever.

We sat as far apart as two people can (in adjacent seats) during the movie... it was very awkward because we were just kids!

We have been through so much since that day... a lot of drama caused by me, a massive difference in our backgrounds that caused quite a few arguments and resentment towards family members. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I always knew love existed, but I didn't know what it looked like, or felt like. When you can't be physically close enough with another human being, even though you're laying on top of them, that's love. When you don't bat an eye thinking about "when" instead of "if", that's love. When there's nowhere else you'd rather be but in someone's arms, where you're safe and nothing can ever harm you, that's love.

I am so, so lucky to be marrying this man in less than a year. My first and only love, my soulmate, "the one just for me".

We went to Corey's aunt and uncle's house tonight for a barbecue and before we left, his aunt pulled out her birdcage (for envelopes at the wedding) to loan to us, and also her tiara!

I was not originally going to use a tiara. My dress comes with a "shawl" of matching lace that we will transform into a veil, but other than that I was just going to maybe throw a flower in. But this is free, and qualifies as my "something borrowed", so I can't complain! It's my first traditional "something". :-)

I am planning on wearing my hair half-up-half-down, because I have been growing it for a long time and I really want to show off the length. My hair is naturally wavy but not really "curly", so I want to do lots of ringlets!

Originally I wanted a traditional updo, but decided against it because it won't show off my length! What's the point in growing my hair for the wedding if I'm not going to show it off?

I am by no means a hairdresser, so excuse the messiness, I was just going for a general idea. Also, it's kind of late and I've had a long day, so please excuse my goofy/tired look.

I was on WeddingBook tonight posting about my dress not being in, and just expressing my frustration (which has grown since originally talking to the shop owner).

Basically, I feel that her attitude towards me was uncalled for. I have worked in customer service for many years as an underling, and even I know enough to never tell a customer that they are "less important" than any other. I constantly work with patrons who expect the moon and give nothing to entitle them to such a request, yet I would never say that "so-and-so is more deserving of that than you because..." It's unprofessional, and doesn't paint your business in a very favourable light.

That being said, many girls on WeddingBook pointed out that my wedding is a year away -- still plenty of time to get the dress in, etc. My response to that is that the owner knew of my wedding date when she gave me the timeline, and she knows when wedding dress season will pick up. If the thought ever crossed her mind that my dress may not arrive in a timely fashion, she should have been forthcoming and told me that.

Another point brought up was that the quote was from 6 to 8 months, and that I shouldn't worry until after the 8 month mark. The way I see it, I ordered my dress at a time that wasn't "peak" ordering season, and I am running into problems! I would hate to see what could have happened had I chosen to wait until THIS October for NEXT May's wedding. The little "viper voice" in the back of my head hisses that I would've had my dress double-quick because they would have just stepped in the way of someone who had already ordered her dress.

My main issue is the owner's attitude. After I ordered my dress, I started to hear some very interesting things about the shop and especially about the owner. To suddenly be having problems with her and this unwarranted behaviour really makes me wonder if I made a wise decision in choosing my bridal wear shop.

So, on Monday, I called the bridal shop to see if my dress had come in yet. I was told it would take 6-8 months to come in, and that they would call me... this Friday will be exactly 7 months since I paid for my dress in full and placed the order.

So nobody answered the phone. I left a message asking them to call back; they didn't. I gave them all of Monday and Tuesday, and today (Wednesday) decided to just go in person and see what the deal is.

They opened at 10, I arrived at 10:30, and the assistant at the shop said the owner wouldn't be in until 11. I told her my situation, and she agreed that the dress should be in by now, but didn't see it in the back. So I wandered around downtown (which is ripped apart by construction crews right now) for half an hour until 11.

Went in, poked through the bridesmaids dresses they have there, and the owner finally showed up around 11:15. By this time, there was a bride in there whose dress HAD arrived, and she was twirling around in front of the mirror, while someone else's bridesmaid was paying for her dress and taking it home. I let the bride have her moment with the owner first, as I assumed she had an appointment and didn't want to get in on her time.

When the owner finally got around to me, she was very blunt and basically said, "Well, if we haven't called you, the dress isn't here." I told her that I hadn't expected it would take so long, and her excuse was that "we gave the manufacturer a 'fake date' of October so that they would have your dress ready in time for that date... but we've been really busy with a lot of rush orders, so we have to take care of things in order of priority."

Right there, I wanted to snap and have a total Bridezilla moment. So you mean to tell me that I'm being punished for getting all my ducks in a row early? I am a paying customer just like every other bride in your shop, and just because you have my gown money doesn't mean I won't spend more there (alterations, MOB/MOG dresses, bridesmaids). What happens if there are more "last-minute" orders? Will my dress continue to be pushed down in "priority" until it's too late?

Regardless of "priority", I think 7 months is a bit long to have to wait for a dress that will still need alterations. She couldn't even offer me a timeline of when it might come in, only that they'd call as soon as it arrived. When I ordered my dress at the end of October, it was off-season for weddings, and I would have expected it earlier, not later. Not exactly a high demand in the winter months.

What do you ladies think? Am I just getting too wrapped up in this, or am I deserving of a small freak-out?