~Our Renewals~ Hey my WBC family! I've been a little hush- hush lately. Our 14th wedding ann...
I was checking my email, and came across a New York Times article about wedding sabatoge. I have never heard of anything like this happening, but apparently it is real. I copied and pasted the article.
SECOND THOUGHTS ON LOVE LOST...
The mysterious calls were baffling at first. A woman, who said she was the bride, canceled the vintage automobile that was supposed to drive her and her bridegroom to their reception. The caterer, apparently contacted by the same woman, was told that far more guests would be attending the reception than had been arranged. And the bridal salon was told to ship the wedding gown to what turned out to be a wrong address.
“No one could figure out who was masterminding it,” said Ana Cruz, who was planning the Miami wedding. Then she recalled something the bride had said about the bridegroom’s embittered former girlfriend. After some detective work, she became Ms. Cruz’s prime suspect.
When told of a former boyfriend or girlfriend’s wedding plans, anyone might experience pangs of engagement and wedding envy. But according to Ms. Cruz, this was a case of jealousy in the extreme.
“No one could figure how she knew so many of the planning details,” Ms. Cruz said. (Eventually it was learned that a cousin of the bride had inadvertently leaked the information.) Ms. Cruz was alarmed and began warning all the vendors to be on alert. She even hired security guards for the wedding and gave them blown-up photographs of the woman.
Ms. Cruz said she was standing in the foyer after the reception had begun when a guard murmured, “I think that’s her.” Sure enough, it was the former girlfriend, who was then politely but firmly turned away.
When Melissa Gullickson, 24, of Las Vegas learned last summer from mutual friends that a boyfriend from college was about to become a bridegroom, she admitted to feeling “deeply disturbed.” So disturbed, in fact, that she resolved to track him down and not so gently remind him of the love he was forsaking — hers. But love was not her primary motive.
“I thought to myself, I’m going to tell him I miss him, ruin his wedding, and no longer be the only one who’s still single,” she said.
Engagement envy struck Morgan Scopetto, 27, of Orlando, Fla., as she dined at a restaurant — a favorite of both her and her former fiancé — over Memorial Day weekend.
“So, are you happy for him?” her waiter asked, referring to you-know-whom. “He came in yesterday and announced he was engaged.”
She said she then sent a text message saying, “I hear you’re engaged.” In reply he said, “No, I’m married.”
Even though their breakup had occurred five months earlier, Ms. Scopetto said she felt devastated.
“In processing all of this confusion, anger, sadness and hurt,” she said, “I wanted to know why he couldn’t marry me after our engagement and three-year relationship, but he could marry someone else in a matter of three months.”
Victims of engagement envy typically choose to suffer in private and limit themselves to frivolous daydreams about a honeymoon mishap. Others may quench their anger in various ways online.
And those who are obsessed have a whole new range of technological tools to indulge their obsession. Web sites that couples set up to inform their friends and relatives about their unfolding wedding plans can also make them vulnerable. A jealous former lover could circumvent any password protection and gain the same access to wedding itineraries, news — and even the online gift registry.
Obsession and the envy and anger that fuels it can occasionally take a violent turn.
In 2002, Agustin Garcia was found guilty of the murder of his former girlfriend, Gladys Ricart, hours before she was to marry another man in New Jersey. Prosecutors said Mr. Garcia had stalked Ms. Ricart for weeks after they broke up.
Yet for all the havoc that revisiting lost love can wreak, Dr. Jonathan L. Tobkes, a New York psychiatrist, said that the experience could also present an opportunity “to look inward and reflect on the choices you made and where you are now.”
“Finding out about a former love’s new life can sort of be a blinding light of loneliness,” Dr. Tobkes said. “But these people are really looking at the wrong thing; they really should be looking at themselves,” he added.
In the midst of concocting ways to derail her ex-boyfriend’s wedding, Ms. Gullickson’s sanity finally caught up with her, without the aid of a therapist. “As I unfurled this devious plan to my friends,” she said, “I heard myself talking and realized what a jerk I was being.”
After the initial shock wore off, it took Ms. Scopetto no more than a few days to realize that if her former intended could find someone else so quickly, then she, too, could proceed with her own life.
“Sometimes you need a strange waiter to tell you the truth,” she said. “After I took the weekend to mope, I can now laugh about it.”