Hey Ladies, So I just wanted to give you an update about this. The beginning of January I made a po...
Couldn't post? Big update!
Well, I know it's been ages since I updated my blog, although I've been around commenting here and there. For some reason, WBC wouldn't let me post. I finally had to switch browsers (now using Internet Explorer to type this up, which I never use and don't like very much). Sorry for such a long wait! I guess WBC no longer likes the Firefox web browser. :(
Anyway, I have less than 5 months to my wedding now! Here's what's gone on since my last post:
- Forgoing a professional photographer. I am trying to get a hold of an old work friend of mine who has a good eye and seeing if she'll do the photography instead for $100 or so. I know the other option is to just have everyone take pictures, but I find there is a large difference between a photographer and guests taking pictures at an event. That's just my opinion, though. :)
- Dropped my bridal party from 3 down to 1. My friends understand. It's a feeble attempt to save money, lol! I think it also saves them a lot of hassle. This allows Chris to drop his side of the wedding party down to one, which frees up a charismatic groomsman to be the MC.
- Skipping the dance, and opting for something more casual after the meal.
- Found a place that might do my invitations for super cheap (almost the prices I could do it myself, only less stress for me). Looking into this next week!
- Found a bride who also has the same dress that I ordered!
- Learning to do my own makeup. Actually, I might make a separate post or two about this. I've never really done makeup, except for filling in my horrible eyebrows and put on mascara for special occasions. It's actually pretty interesting to learn about all this stuff I had no idea about. This way, I can do my own makeup the way I want it and not worry about what a stranger is putting on me.
- Got laid off. :(
Next week is my push to get the big stuff done. The reason it didn't get done sooner was Chris and I wanted to push back the wedding because of the economy. We can afford a wedding. We have been saving now and so cost wasn't the issue. It's the timing... we feel it's unwise to drop a large amount of money at such a critical point in the economy right now. This is why we've made a few cutbacks. Hopefully they will add up and also save me lots of stress!
(I worry. A lot. And stress over small things. It's something I'm working on -- trying to learn to minimize stress and worry. This should help me!)
Hope you guys are all well! Sorry again for not being around as much. Just gets frustrating when you can't make any posts! Expect more posts to come. :)
And feeling a bit stressed
...So much left to do, so much I haven't gotten done... lol. I wrote out two lists the other day: what I've done, what I need to do. It was shocking, and intimidating, and I'll leave it at that, lol.
I keep trying to remind myself that people get weddings planned in a lot less than the amount of time I have left. Unfortunately, that amount of time keeps shrinking for some odd reason... ;)
Woo! 200 day mark, you've come quickly. And in 201 days, I will be immensely relieved. lol!
Some of you already know this, but for those of you that don't, 2 of 3 of my bridesmaids live a 4h plane ride away. So it's been very difficult for me to get them involved in the wedding process.
I finally decided to write all of them a newsletter. Talking on and on for so long about my wedding felt very strange. I try not to, because I know it's my wedding, not theirs, so it's not nearly is interesting to them as it is to me, and I don't want to bore them. I almost felt guilty writing it all up, but I figured it's come to a point where either a) they have to know, or b) I need their opinions. lol!
I do have a quick question in the letter below, I talk about "underskirts", but I don't know the real name for them. They are like a solid-coloured slip thing, which are designed to peek out below the hemline by an inch or two. I know I've seen them online, but can't seem to find any. Does anyone have an idea of what they are or who might sell them? Just so I can get a picture?
Here's what I wrote about their dresses (I wrote other stuff, but left it out). It's quite detailed; sorry about that.
This has had me going back and forth. I know I want a dark brown colour, like "espresso". I think sometime in March, I am going to examine fabric swatches to see which fabric looks best with the colour I have in mind. You guys also asked what fabric I was leaning towards, and I honestly don't know, but I do know chiffon makes "espresso" look... well, not very good. Also, my goal was to find a specific brand, or line of dresses, that had a lot of variety and was inexpensive. So far, the best one seems to be Alfred Sung. So if you guys wanna take a peek at what they have to offer, you can go here: http://www.dessy.com/bridesmaid-dresses/alfredsung/ The colours I'm looking at are espresso and posie, and the final length will be "cocktail", which goes to your knees (this means you could get tea length and hem it up).
I'm thinking for ease of re-wearing, you guys will want just the solid brown with no pink. This is 100% fine and probably the best route. There are various options for adding in pink aside from dress trim, such as sashes (can buy at any fabric store and just tie around the waist or something), plus the bouquets. Actually, I really like the idea of pink underskirts (I'm not sure the real name, but these are like slips that show 1-2 inches below the hemline). I think those would be the easiest for everyone... including myself. lol!
There are a few options to actually buying the dresses once I pick a fabric. Someone recommended to me that I order them all from the same place, so that the dye in the fabric remains consistent (as opposed to having one slightly lighter than the others). You guys would have to go get fitted at any store near you that carries the line, get the measurements and the dress you like best, and I order them here from one store. The other option would be you guys getting fitted and purchasing from a store near you, and bringing the dress with you when the wedding rolls around. I'm not sure what to do here.
I want to really help you guys out as far as the dresses go. So hopefully I can work something out, and definitely trying to keep the cost down. Luckily, cocktail-length dresses tend to be cheaper than full-length gowns. :)
Bridesmaids: Et Cetera
- Hair: There is a salon in the venue, so if you guys wanted to get your hair done, that's a really good choice. I'm probably going to use this place. If you want to do your own thing, that's cool too. I won't force you guys to pay to have your hair done.
- Makeup: I'm going to have my makeup done, I think. That's as far as I've thought about it. There are a few options, but I haven't looked into this too closely. Again, you guys can do what you like here. I won't force you to pay for this to be professionally done. I'll try to see what I can swing financially, but I don't want to say one thing and then have to do another. So you guys let me know what you think and want to do here.
- Shoes: Again, I haven't given this too much thought. I don't think they need to match. What are you guys thinking?
- Bouquets: I pay for these, so I wouldn't worry too much about that stuff. Thinking mostly pink, some green and white, maybe brown ribbon or something, not sure what kind of flowers. I haven't actually spoken to the florist I want to use yet. I like lots of different flowers and don't really care what kind they are so long as they are good colours.
- Props: That sounds weird to say. But for photos, I like the idea of pink parasols.
Ask a Question
Photographer deposits: what is too much?
Well, we have our photographer, and she is wonderful and I think we see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, which I think is important. She is very talented and also doesn't cost an arm and a leg like many (if not all) of the other photographers I've looked at.
There is one issue, however. (It was too good to be true!)
She wants roughly 75% of the cost up front as a deposit. (Full cost is $1247, deposit is $800.)
1. Deposits are understandable. But 75%?
2. We are going to have to pay it all eventually anyway.
3. The engagement session is included in the fee.
4. The economy is slowing down what if her business shuts down before August rolls around (or a less likely case is what if she's a con artist which I doubt)? She gets the $800, and I don't know if she would return it or not. I would hope so, but...
So, after much discussion, my fiancé e-mailed our photographer and said he felt the deposit was a bit too high. She replied, basically explaining it's a way of protecting her business.
This happened in December, and now it's almost February, and my fiancé hasn't replied. I remind him almost every day. I'm getting worried. I don't want to make an enemy of my own photographer... that would be terrible.
I told him he needs to either reply to her (since he started this mess and I want one of us to still be likable, lol) or find a new photographer himself (since I tore out my hair doing it the first time around). I'm not really upset with him, because I understand his hesitation.
So, what is a reasonable deposit fee assuming the engagement session is included? Something I can come back at her with that maybe she might accept. I thought $500 or $600. But I want to know what everyone else thinks, because, well, like many people, I've never done this before and have no comparison! :\
Decorations & Favours
Completely changed! And here I was so sure my mind was made up... just goes to show... lol.
I'd been waffling over the centrepieces I had decided on. Still trying to stick some of my goals like minimal waste... but with less hassle. It's becoming clear how much stress-saving is going to matter. So I am going for something like in these pictures. The venue offers a variety of its own glass vases for rent... add a little water and a flower or two, et voila! I was thinking to put green votives or tealights around each vase as well.
Too bad I can't have tulips... they'll mostly all be out of season by the time August rolls around. Oh well I think there are still some nice choices. :)
Changing the centrepieces meant changing the favours as well, since I was originally going to combine them. The knot.com has matchbooks and matchboxes on sale for half price... plus, they are still practical, which was what I was aiming for.
I hope I don't decide it's all wrong and change my mind again... lol!
I'm back sorta...
First of all, just wanted to wish everyone a belated happy holidays. :) I hope everyone had a great time. Congrats to vintagebabe; from your pictures, the wedding looked beautiful (sorry if I missed anyone else while I was gone).
I visited a few WBC a few times, but could just never get into it. I felt a bit worn down from all this planning, feeling like I have never gotten anything accomplished.
Part of it is because I'm doing this largely on my own. I love my bridesmaids, but they are all incredibly busy and really can't do anything. One, whom I love to death and don't blame her for in the least (but nevertheless), who promised to visit in November 08, is now saying for sure she will be here in July and the wedding is in August.
I decided against the centrepieces I originally had in mind. I just wasn't feeling it. My whole mind is flip flopping on pretty much every aspect, and it's 7 months away.
Just feeling a bit frustrated and weighed down. Sorry to whine.
As luck or fate would have it, my future mother-in-law hit up the sales on Black Friday (we are Canadian, but she goes down to visit family every year for American Thanksgiving), and she found THIS little gem and bought it on a whim.
I hadn't mentioned anything about these types of products, but was debating getting one for myself (albeit a slightly cheaper version). It's a good thing I didn't, because she got this 75% off and it came with two free cartridges (fonts and doodle-something).
So now that I have this tool, I have no idea what I should do with it. I just know that I desperately NEED to use it for my invitations. *oggles it*
Does anyone else have one of these? Have you used it? What did you do with it?
So I hadn't really had any wedding dreams until last night... when I had 2!
The first one, we forgot to buy a marriage license. I was panicking thinking we'd have to call everything off, it was all a wash, a waste of time, energy, and money, embarrassed beyond belief. For some reason, my fiancé kept saying, "We'll just borrow someone else's license, it's not like they check these things." Actually, something kind of sad yet funny... we know a couple who are married that are just not meant to be together, and they fight all the time, and are never happy. So (please don't judge me! lol) in the dream, they say, "Here, use ours, we don't need it anymore." My fiancé came home from his night shift last night and I woke up just long enough to tell him and he had a chuckle...
The second dream, when I fell back to sleep after he got home, was much more detailed. It actually felt so real, I was shocked upon waking up to realize I wasn't married. I was nervous and excited, but... it was one of those things where everything was going wrong. And strangely, we had the reception before the ceremony. Only 1 or 2 tables had centrepieces, there wasn't enough food for everyone, the cake fell over, my bouquet didn't arrive, only 1 bridesmaid showed up, again we forgot the license... I remember thinking, "Grin and bear it... grin and bear it. Otherwise it'll just get worse." Then I looked down to find I wasn't wearing my dress, I was just wearing a white shirt and jeans. After that, I kind of cracked under the pressure, lol. When it came time for the ceremony (indoor instead of outdoor as planned), I watched my two flower girls and lone bridesmaid (who was chatting to the flower girls quite casually) walk up the aisle, then some other people I didn't even know walked up the aisle. Finally it was my turn, and like I said, I'd cracked a bit, so I started going up and down the rows of pews and somehow wasn't able to find the actual aisle. Anyway, finally I managed to find myself at the altar, and we said our I Dos, and then I realized my photographer was still eating and hadn't gotten any photos. Oh well. Not like there were any good moments of which to take pictures! lol!
Thank goodness it was all a dream... sorry if it was a bit long... just really needed to get that off my chest, lol!
Sometimes finding the perfect accent colour is hard. COLOURlovers.com is a cute site that is filled with talented people who just love to create colour palettes and work with colours (examples to the left). There is a search function, and I think if you sign up, you can also request palettes (the creators also often give the palettes really cute titles).
Thought sharing this might spark some ideas for brides who just can't decide! :) Enjoy!