05/17/2012
Red Ask a Question You ever feel like no one cares?
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You ever feel like no one cares?

During this process of planning and putting it all together for your wonderful day all of the excitement just builds up and and you start to realize how awesome it all is. Even with the fun there's stress and you need a little comforting, venting, and exciting sharing time.

But do you ever feel like no one really cares? I mean, I know that your wedding day will not be as important to anyone else BUT YOU. I'm totally aware of this, and that's why I pretty much keep my thoughts, vents, and sharing on WBC or to myself.

Sometimes I do wish that i could share all of this, from the good stuff to the stressful stuff, with my close friends. I just feel like I can't though. Not unless they ask, or if I keep it short to like a few sentences. Because I don't want to seem self focused or long winded about my excitement. I don't want them to be thinking, "Oh here we go again..." if I talk about the wedding and planning.

I remember a friend of mine was getting married a few years ago. She was so excited with the planning and the upcoming events leading up to the wedding like her bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. I was really supportive of her and genuinely happy for and with her, but other girls would just talk about her when she wasn't around. They would complain that she was self centered and too busy for anything else. I tried to help them appreciate that it wasn't a bad thing that she was positive and focused. She didn't seem self centered at all. She was just happy and we had to support her. I felt bad because I didn't understand how they could be so mean about her happiness.

This experience, watching that happen, made me a bit cautious about talking too much about my wedding and sharing the details and stuff with friends. I kind of feel like no one really cares, they just sort of pretend to care unless they are in the same boat. Other brides would care because they are excited about their weddings too.

We all want to share and encourage each other.

I wasn't even engaged when my friend was getting married. I was there for her and was genuinely excited to help her and support her any way that I could.

I don't know...I am just thinking and wondering if anyone else felt this way.
support, friends, family, caring, help, stress
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ourwedding13's Purple wedding
ourwedding13
 |  Bolingbrook, IL, USA  |  05/17/2012  | 
I TOTALLY feel you!!! I feel the same exact way. I wish I had this blog b/4 I blew up @ my BFF/ Matron of Honor. Maybe I would have handled things differently if so. I mean we worked it, but the tension is kinda still there. I now know I can vent or just post my feelings w/ other brides and it makes em feel good. I also don't want to overdo it w/ my friends and seem like I'm bothering them about my planning.  And when you have friends that aren't married they don't understand and might be jealous. And the ones who are married might be jealous also if  they didn't have the kind of wedding you're having.
Do you know my mom even had the nerve to call me a Bridezilla and she doesn't even know what it means! That made me so mad! Especially when it was really my BFF who started the whole thing.

People just won't understand what you're going, so feel free to vent on here! I know I will!  Seriously I could have written you exact post girl!
phillysgirl5's Pink wedding
phillysgirl5
 |  Springfield, IL, USA  |  05/17/2012  | 
I have sooo felt this way too. Not that any of my friends or family have made me feel that way, maybe I've done it to myself. Like you, I have been around Brides where people talked behind their back about how self centered they were. I don't want that to happen, ya know?? Plus I do have a bridesmaid that gets jealous. She's already married, but it seems like if the attention isn't on her, or the way she would do things, she's mad. Oh well, that's another great thing about WBC. We all have been there and understand!! Glad you could get out how you feel! :)
appleofhiseye's Blue wedding
appleofhiseye
 |  Halifax, NS, Canada  |  05/17/2012  | 
I feel similar, I really only talk about our plans when someone asks, otherwise its all on my pinterest and in my journals!
flrjohnson's Red wedding
flrjohnson
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  05/17/2012  | 
Thank you for your comments. It's good to know that I'm not alone, but it's just awful to feel this way or have to go through it in the first place. That's just how it is I guess.

ksteward78, that's awful that you had that blow out with your BFF.  I know it's exhausting to even think about.  It's good you worked it out though.

phillygirl5 (hey my hometown is Philly) jealousy is the worst! I don't really understand that. It's a happy time. No true family or friend should feel that way.  Glad you're getting through it.

Thanks ladies for your encouragement. It truly means a lot.
's wedding
Otaku
 |  Tucker, GA, USA  |  05/17/2012  | 
Wow, so, I'm just a bridesmaid, but that's really terrible that you all have to keep your excitement inside like that! A wedding is supposed to be a happy occasion.. or perhaps I'm too naive. I think you should talk about your wedding as much as you want and, if the others don't like it, they should say something (politely), because, if you're just looking to get married for the happiness of your groom and yourself, can't you just go to a courthouse or something? A wedding is for friends and family, too!! :\
flrjohnson's Red wedding
flrjohnson
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  05/17/2012  | 
Thanks, Otaku. That's encouraging to hear from a bridesmaid's perspective. And you're right, the wedding is for the family and friends to enjoy in celebrating too :-)
dimples1723's Purple wedding
dimples1723
 |  Hamilton, ON, Canada  |  05/17/2012  | 
I feel the same way and also feel like not alot of people are happy for us. Not only that but i have to be very careful who I do talk to teh wedding about because of al the crap going on around my wedding. Thank god for WBC . You wonderful ladies have been my saving grace planning this whole thing.
aguselle's Blue wedding
aguselle
 |  Hamilton, ON, Canada  |  05/18/2012  | 
I was also a bridesmaid last year and I was so happy and excited for the bride for the entire year, and was more than happy to listen to wedding talk whenever it came up.

I feel like maybe some brides worry that they're overdoing the wedding talk, but in reality your good friends should want to be supportive and listen to all of it and know one day, you can return the favor and be there for them. After all, mutual support and encouragement is what friendship is all about! :)
flrjohnson's Red wedding
flrjohnson
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  05/18/2012  | 
Very true aguselle. It is so important to be a good friend and be there for one another. That's how it should always be if you call yourself a true friend.
wendelina0866's Black wedding
wendelina0866
 |  Saint cloud, MN, USA  |  05/22/2012  | 
Oh you are so not alone.. my MOH is just plain negative about anything I bring up about the wedding.. so I've learned to shut my mouth (I have a post about that). I have always been sensitive to the brides around me, always very involved (even if I don't agree with what they're doing) and kept my mouth shut if I had a different opinion. We all have different tastes and different visions of what we want our wedding to be. And we all need support.

It's a blessing to have a place like this to vent to each other.. Thank you for posting this.. now none of us have to feel like we're alone in this  :-)  
xoxox
flrjohnson's Red wedding
flrjohnson
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  05/22/2012  | 
Aww hun, I'm glad we all have each other too. I hope the drama settles down for you too.
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