Bridal Party

Put 4 girls out today!!!!

IM SO SORRY U HAD TO DO THAT! BUT ALL WILL B PERFECT O UR DAY.

bit of a bridezilla moment? lol. Its annoying but dont you think that was a little drastic? I guess if it was your last option but hopefully you considered there situation and stuff.

Thanks bkpinkbride, I appreciate it...
Actually no deneanrae it wasn't drastic.. The deadline was October 9th and they all kept giving me excuses on a weekly basis. I realized they were all most likely waiting for income tax money and one BM wanted me to pay for her dress at $147.00 and she pay me back later... I DON'T THINK SO.. How could you even ask me that when I still have to spend a bunch of money on other things. One girl left a message on my phone saying she had the money she didn't have time to go but you have time to ride your sister around searching for a new house???? It was clear to me that my wedding was not important to them as it is to me and these are friends of  20 or more years..

oh girl sorry for all da drama, but sometimes less is better what about making one of your bridesmaid your Maid of honor that way u would have one of each a MOH, a BM & a JB, if they would have been your true friends they would not have u stressing, they  should of known what was expected of them  and not have u after them, its sad but sometimes  occasions like this  let u see who your real friends are, i will only be having  MOH and 3 BMs cause really da more females da more drama lol!

yea i understand they werent cool taking so long and with all the excuses. It just sucks to lose friends over a dress is all... and 5 of them? I dont think I could of done it.. having them there is more important to me then a dress.

I'm sorry!  I was having similar issues with my bridesmaids and one MOH at first.  I told them the deadline to pay for their dresses was November 1st, but I told them they must all give money to me.  I wanted to make sure all the dresses were ordered together.  Even though I still have 2 more dresses that need to be ordered, I got frustrated when one girl told me that she couldn't afford it due to other obligations, yet she JUST purchased herself a brand new phone that cost like 3 times the price of the dress.  Priorities were all messed up!  

Give yourself time to cool down!  It helps when I just put the wedding stuff down, take a nice hot bath and read a book or watch a movie completely unrelated to wedding planning to clear your mind.  In the end, I told the girl that she had one last final deadline to give the money.  If not, she's out!  She will be paying for dress and her rush order fees in cash to me, that way I know the dress was ordered.  Try to call the place you are ordering from to see what the deadline for rush order is and what the fee is.  But if you just cannot deal with these girls, probably best to just leave them out or replace them.  You don't need the run around on your day!  Shame on those girls for putting you through that with only 4 months til your wedding!!!!!

Good luck!

Thanks ladies, It's kind of hard when when they tell you I'M GETTING MY DRESS THIS WEEKEND and I got so excited only to be let down. Let me tell you ladies something and mrscunningham2b I experienced what you did about a month ago a BM was crying broke but swore she would get the dress she purchased her 11 year old daughter a pair of brown contacts lens because she was tired of wearing her glasses.. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? the contacts were more than the dress and one girl I kicked out last year she said she was not covering her tattoos OMG what is that??? and i have known her  20 years. This is my wedding and what I say goes they were never my friends.

fairytalebride I wish I could make one of my BM my MOH but they already purchased their dresses to be a BM. I can't believe these girls did that to me and one MOH was my cousin and the other my best friend of 23 years.

deneanrae yes it's very sad to loose friends over a dress but we as BRIDES have to do what we have to do, friends come and go but your husband is something totally different. We shouldn't let friends ruin our special day.. I think a few of my girls are jealous any way so to hell with them and I don't care if they come or not.


I started out with 8 girls and now i have 3. I'm going to try and get replacements.

I know what you mean!! It is frustrating.  People's priorities are so messed up.  But a lot of people do not know how to save and I think that is what the problem is.  I told my girls do not try to pay the $120 for the dress all at once if you can't.  2 payments of $60, 3 payments of $40, 6 payments of $20, hell....120 payments of $1..whatever you have to do to make it that won't break the bank.  But they insisted that the next check would be THEE check..so it is hard to feel bad sometimes when people don't help you out by planning their expenses.  SOme things are unavoidable, but you are so right...brown contacts?!?!  NoOo!!
Hang in there girl!

yes mrscunningham2b it's very frustrating and when i told her her priorities were not straight she flipped out and started saying how it's her money and she can buy her daughter what ever she wants and do what ever she want's with her money so i told her you are exactly right so take your money and save it for somebody's else  wedding because you won't be in mine. The nerve of some people. Those girls just don't understand the damage they caused me I have wasted money on their gifts and I purchased flowers for them not to mention they all had my fiance's men waiting on them to get their dress.

Oh no they didn't! I too would've flipped out too!!! How come when it is something important you wish for someone to do, they only want to do it on their time, but when it is something for them, they want it now! It's so crazy how soo many ladies in our bridal parties do not respect what you are doing and going through. All we ask them to do is get a dress and get there, they don't have to deal with all the stress that we are going to have to deal with!

right mrsfrancois,  They all just sat on their asses doing what ever they wanted to do with their money and time, my deadline was a joke to them and even after the deadline no one called and said I'm sorry i didn't make the deadline they just went about their days like it was nothing. I would be ashamed to do that to somebody knowing they were depending on me. You know what come to think of NONE OF THEM HAS EVEN HELPED ME with anything I have done everything on my own.

I don't blame you.  I wish that I would have done the same thing when I was planning my wedding. My girls waited around until the last minute and  I ended up paying for 2 BM dresses and 1 hostess dress and it has been 6 months and I still have not gotten any of my money back.

OMG westkar... I think it's selfish for them to even ask knowing that brides already have to put out so much money. I couldn't fix my mouth to ask any one to pay for my dress if I was in there wedding. I don't think friends and money mix that's why i said no because i know when she get's her taxes she will quickly for get.

I nearly kicked two of mine out a week before the wedding... they were pissing me off. One of them especially- she was hell and a half the whole way through planning and refused to get her dress ordered on time etc. I *really* wish I would've kicked them out when it had crossed my mind. It would've left me with only a MOH, but i would've been alright with that. I haven't spoken to any of the BM's since the wedding & I don't intend to.

I'm sorry things happened like they did, but you're better off without them if this is how they're acting.

Sorry to hear that and I completely understand where you're coming from. I have given my ladies 3 mons to come up with their $85 deposit and getting excuses already. The dead line is Sat. the 14. $85. Well I think my list will drop also :) Just remember, at the end of the day, the wedding is about YOU and FH!

tlgcece i kind of felt the excuses coming early on but didn't think they would keep giving them to me..It's sad when those girls do that if you don't have the money then don't say yes to being in the wedding.

sapphire2009 i know how you feel and i didn't want to kick them out but it was either I keep getting frustrated and getting migranes or kick them out and tend to more important things.
I'm glad i did it and i haven't spoke to 3 girls since i kicked them out in the past. I started out with  8 BM but less is better.

I used to be on thie site a year ago (didn't get married) but I have read most of the comments and I would like to say first of all it's not about the dress...to me the 4 woman have been your friends for over 20 years, out of respect and not to put stress on you they should have mentioned to you before hand that they may have issues getting their dresses. I don't blame you at all for letting them go. If you had a deadline to purchase the BM dresses they should have honored that deadline...once again out of respect to you as the BRIDE. Fairytalebride said it just perfect less girls less drama. Especially if they are giving excuses each time. Maybe it's best to just keep the girls you have and don't replace. They have their dresses and that way you will not have to worry about another one say they can't or ask you to pay for the dresses. If your wedding party knew that they had to purchase their own dress you should not have to purchase it for them. That's why when you first asked them to be your BM they should have spoken up then that they were not able to accept. I hope everything works out for you. Less stress is better girl! Happy Planning and Congrats!

I don't think you should get replacements and then rush them to get dresses on last minute notice.  The girls who did pull through and have been your most important friends for so long should be in your wedding.  I don't think there is any need to add in extras, the amount you have sounds beautiful even if it ends up being less than the groomsmen!

I feel your pain, unfortunately I am dealing with a bit of bridesmaid drama as well.  But in my case it's my sister...she is driving me up the wall, has complained about everything since the beginning.  I have tried to reach out to her to see what here problem is but she doesn't talk to me...so I give up I am ready to give her the boot!!! But everyone keeps saying "but she's your sister"  I thought my sister was supposed to be extremely happy for me and willing to do whatever I asked, instead I have to deal with stupid drama.

I think it is best to cut of the drama that is being brought to your wedding. It's supposed to be a happy occassion. Oh well if you're down brides maids at least you don't have to deal with the stupid excuses.  

We have the same wedding date by the way!!!

oh Ms Shaw you are so correct, they have really stressed me out with migranes everyday. And to top it off not even call me to say Hey I can't get the dress by the deadline I felt totally disrespected, I asked every girl every month ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN GET THE DRESS??? every girl said yes but now that's it's time you have excuses!!!. Your right  Ms Shaw I will not replace them out of fear of going through that again and loosing more friends.

joeysgirl, Thanks a lot. I really do appreciate the girls who purchased their dress that tells me who my real friends are and 20 year friendships shouldn't end over a dress, 2 of the girls are not speaking to me including my own cousin, she told another family member i should understand her situation being a single parent, HA!!! that's a joke you party your money away and want me to feel bad for you what about me and my wedding??? I feel better now that they are kicked out and i don't care if they talk to me or not.

themrs2010 Don't let your sister do that to you, I know you love her but it's your day and unlike myself i let my situation go to long before i finally told them to get out of my wedding. I thought my friends would be happy for me just like your sister should be. I felt horrible yesterday for letting them go but today i woke up feeling great beacuse there is no more drama and it's also unfair to my fiance's men who wanted to be in the wedding so he had to break the bad news to them also. We have the same wedding day LOL we have to keep in touch...

Oh and ladies not talk about my girls i kicked out but i could have chosen a much prettier  bridesmaides dress but i had to keep in mind that a few of them were a little plump (3 of them) . My two girls who have their dresses are in sizes 10 and 12. I could have chosen that sexy,elegant, pretty dress that i really wanted them to wear  with the low cut back!!! UGHHHHHHHHH!!! LOL i just wanted to say that...

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles...it is really different over here in the Uk where the bride and groom usually fit the bill for most of the wedding attire including the bridesmaids dresses...normally the brides parents would also give some sort of financial help as well...we dont really have MOH and the like but just a couple of friends or family memebers that are close to be bridesmaids and thats it..the groom will have a best man and maybe a few page boys..all this seems alien to me but quite intriguing to get a view form another part of the world!

lostangel you just don't know the half of it.. I think they would have loved for me to help them out on their dresses. You should be happy you don't have to deal with this kind of stuff. It really tore me up everyday that they refused to get those dresses. I'm much happier now with my smaller wedding party.

Sorry you had to deal with the bridal party drama...........I guess it's all part of the wedding planning deal! One of my BM is MIA as in, I haven't seen or talked to her since my birthday which was in Aug! My mom insists on me putting certain ppl in my wedding, my dad insists on forcing me to invite some relatives I haven't seen since I was born and the list goes on.  I agree with mrscunningham2b, de-stressing will help! Good luck & best wishes!

Thanks misstoni26, when the single BM's get married they will know how we feel. One girl i kicked out seem's to be ok with it, One said ok but she will still try to get it, one said ok but dosen't talk to me as much, and the other is ignoring me and her son is my ring bearer so i guess i will need a new ring bearer. In your situation i wouldn't invite the distant relatives my mom insist on me doing the same and i haven't heard from some of those relatives in over 10 years. I think you should tell your missing BM to just step out of the wedding before it goes to far like my situation. We are  paying almost 40.00 a head so i want family & friends who i deal with on a regular basis to be there.

It takes 4-6 weeks from davids bridal to get the dresses in, I have my wedding dress already and my daughters dress is coming in in december, plus you need time for any alterations as well. I can see where your frustration comes in. My MOH is ordering her dress in december but we are getting married in april so still plenty of time if they need to ship the dress back if need be to get a different one.

I would just stick with the ladies you have who have already purchased there dresses and leave it at that. It will be a beautiful wedding and less stress for you in the end...

simplyjewels that's my plan, I did not have time to keep playing around with those girls. I'm just mad because this is my first wedding and I wanted at least 4 BM and they messed that up for me but my 2 will do and i am so grateful to them. Their dresses actually came in 2 weeks which was quick. We all plan to go back early in Feb to get our alterations done and my wedding is March 13th.

I hear ya.  This is my second marriage, and I wound up eloping in my 1st marriage because of this sort of thing!  (we went to Vegas). We had a reception immediately upon returning.  (of course, everyone was cool with that part--figures:-(

You don't need the drama, the less the best!  Good for you that you eliminated those that were trying to bring on the nonsense.

I have had to give a deadline recently for getting dresses. It's not my choice: my mother is paying for the wedding, and I can't afford to pay for their dresses myself, so I think giving them a decent amount of time and letting them know well ahead of time what the costs are (and giving them a chance to back out of being a bridesmaid with no offense taken whatsoever) was the most reasonable course of action. If they can't get their dresses by that date then unfortunately they can't be bridesmaids. My FH is having the same talk with his groomsmen about tuxes.

sravll and soonmrswhite I never expected it to come to that and I didn't want to do it but I had to in order to stay sane and get rid of the daily headaches. I'm still friends with 3 of them and one is still mad but oh well I'm strees free and that's all that matters LOL.

wow. I guess this is ONE of the reasons I am NOT having a wedding party--just me and My Love.

I also thought about $ and the economy...I don't want to take food off any1's table over dresses or even wedding gifts.

Basically, they shouldn't have committed if they couldn't afford it. PERIOD.

Thanks fijipearl I say the same thing, I found out my girls were in debt, behind on bills etc etc... I would never tell a friend yes to being in their wedding if i know that I can't afford to buy my dress.. I went from  8 BM to 2 beacuse only 2 could afford their dress.

I say leave it at 2 bms.  It's kind of nice not to share the spotlight with attention seeking, pouty, jealous, catty girls.  I wish I had made my bridal party a lot smaller too!  Less stress, less drama, more attention on me.

that's very true, I just wish they were honest with me from the beginning and i could have gotten replacements but i'm fine with it now..