Ask a Question - Bridal Shower... Should I go? - FUTUREMRSREDFORD's Red Wedding by Color Blog

Advice needed please. Should I go to my ex BM bridal shower?
A little long sorry, but please take the time to read it. Really need your advice.

For those of you that don't know the story my ex BM is getting married. She was going to be in my wedding; however she couldnt afford to get her hair and makeup done (okay I was going to pay for it), then she couldnt afford to go to my bachelorette party. THEN she sent FH and I an "announcement" saying basically hey we're getting married... sorry you're not invited but here is where we're registered at so you can purchase us a gift!!

That was the last straw and I was going to ask her to step down from my wedding; however SHE CALLED me last week to tell me she can't afford to purchase her dress b/c she has to pay for HER wedding, so she doesnt want to be in my wedding anymore. (fine at least I wasnt the bad girl for asking her to step down) Still hurt though.

ANYWAYS... last night she texted me saying "my bridal shower is coming up... please let me know if you want to go so I can give you more details" WHAT?! First off Im not even invited to your wedding, you stepped down from being apart of MY wedding and now you want me to go to your bridal shower?!

Okay I'm trying to be the bigger person, and I'm actually considering on going.... What do you girls think I should do????

Do not go! If she couldnt even bother to be apart of your wedding why would want to go to her bridal shower and more than likely she wants a gift from you too. Oh hell no! Be the bigger person by not going and keep the money you were going to buy her gift with for your own wedding.

nope! at least i wouldnt go. in my area you don't invite people to your shower if you aren't invited to the wedding. she seems to be in the whole wedding stuff for presents and i wouldn't reward her for that.

I say you've been the bigger person this far. you can continue to be but I personally would not go. I would send her a card that will arrive to her or MOH right around the shower time wishing her good luck at her wedding and marriage and leave well enough alone. i had the first half of your story happen with one of my "best friends". the night i called to tell her i think she should come as a guest instead of be a member of the W.P. she called to ask did she have to pay for her own dress, when I said yes, she said oh well i'm not going to be able to handle that. every date i had scheduled (months in advance mind you) she told me she would not be able to attend any of those so it is what it is. i still speak to her but i see her in a different light now. but on top of that, right now, it's about YOU, only do what makes you happy and less stressed (already a hard task in itself!)

I wouldn't go. Many people who are invited will not go to the shower for various reason and you probably do not want to sit there in a party that's all about her and think about how uncomfortable you are and how she upset or hurt you. Not to mention that she was so rude to be asking for presents, etc... (which is sort of what could be taken from her inviting you to the shower, too) I don't think I'd be able to handle being in a room with her where she's the center of attention and all that. Just me, though. :)

Please don't go. She is obviously a very selfish person and needs to be taken down a notch.

I would text her back and say "no thank you"

I would txt her back and say oh sorry I can't afford a gift for your shower and I am busy. She should not expect you to go to her shower, buy you a gift and then you are not allowed to even attend the wedding.

I would say don't go. She just wants gifts from you! That is ridiculous!

You shouldn't go to her bridal shower and personally I don't think you need someone in your life that is like that.Her motives are selfish.So that is a good thing she is not in your wedding.The best thing to do for people of her nature is to pray for them and allow God to do a work on them.Be Blessed!

i would politely t4xt her back and state, in lieu of my upcoming nuptials my time is occupied and my funds are depleted and unfortunaely I'm unable to attend your event on such short ntoice. Happy Shower!!!

NOPE text her back and say you cant you are too busy with your wedding planning , you have too much stuff going on. I cant believe she had the nerve , you have been the bigger person you need to forget her and move on with your planning and enjoy it

Oh wow, that's horrible! I probably wouldn't go. How come you're not invited to her wedding??

Don't go. You have done a great job of being the bigger person, but unless you can go and TRUELY be happy for her you will be miserable the whole time you are there and you don't deserve that.

Good luck, and I am very proud of how you have handled this.

I wouldn't go. It's bad etiquette and rude to invite someone to a bridal shower who isn't invited to the wedding in any situation, let alone in this situation. It sounds like just a gift grab. I'm so sorry all of this happened with one of your friends... can't believe it! Some people...

"heatherm76" She told me she couldnt invite me to her wedding b/c both of their families are HUGE and family alone is 200 people. She said if anything changes she'll let me know. I couldnt believe it when she said that!!!

I would not go, I like what mrsmarshall said and how she said it and its so true! How could she expect you to go out of your way for her when she couldnt lift a finger for you!! You have been such a sweet friend to her through all of her drama with your wedding, I would just let it go, she isnt worth your stress!! Dont go to her shower and do something for yourself or for YOUR wedding that day!!

I would be the bigger man in this situation and just suck it up and go. Don't get her a big-ticket gift, maybe a gift card to home decor store or something? I mean, she was obviously close enough to you for you to ask her to a BM, so why ruin the relationship entirely? This might even give you a good chance to speak up about how you feel!

Nope....i would not go....this wouldnt make you the bigger person..this would make your a sucker. a person can only take so much abuse...i cnat believe their are people out their so oblivious to their actions..they lack serious care. frustrating! Dont go please...she will get some self satisfaction...and dont send her a gift PLEASE