08/05/2012
Pink Future In-Laws
   

Future In-Laws

I just need to vent, because when I vent to FH he just tells me I am looking too far into things.

So my future in-laws are pretty great people, I love them dearly but lately they have been making me feel uncomfortable. I have always wanted a huge wedding, and with all our family and friends. However Thomas's parents and his brother got married by the justice of the peace. Thomas will be the only one in the family to have an actual wedding, and I think they are having a hard time with this. Every time the wedding or wedding planning is brought up his mom just says " oh they have 11 months until they wedding, they still have time to decide". Its very frustrating because I want a big wedding with a white dress, decorations, a party and all that goes with it. I always felt that they were happy with Thomas's decision of marrying me, but now I am unsure. I would like to include his mom in the wedding planning but I hate bringing it up because she just pushes it aside. Last weekend at his cousins bridal shower his one aunt was excited to talk wedding plans with me but his mom instantly butted in and said we have time to change our minds and could just do like everyone else and get married by the court. I just wish they could be more excited for the wedding so that I could include her more and discuss things with her.

Is anyone else having issues like this? If so how do I get them to realize I do not want what they want?
in-laws, confusion
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flrjohnson's Red wedding
flrjohnson
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  08/06/2012  | 
It sounds like their personal problem. In a way it's understandable that they are acting kind of nonchalant about it and putting things on a back burner because they are not used to planning or preparing for a big wedding. It may not be that they aren't excited about having you as a daughter in law. They seem like they are fine with you. It just seems like it's the big wedding. You say your FH is the first one in their family to not go to the JOP, but to actually have a big wedding event.

So you and Thomas both may have to show an equal amount of super enthusiasm for this wedding to get them to see how much it means to the both of you. It seems like it has to be that way for the in laws to pay attention and to actually GET IT. If you and Thomas both are into it and showing it to them then they'll probably begin to get it too. Good luck, hun.
futuremrswilen's Pink wedding
futuremrswilen
 |  Fargo, ND, USA  |  08/06/2012  | 
Thanks for your support and advice! Thomas is super excited and says no matter what his parents think about the big wedding, he will not change his mind and just go to the JOP.  We try really hard to get his parents excited but I think we both know its not going to change anything, so we just haven't discussed much with them so far.
flrjohnson's Red wedding
flrjohnson
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  08/06/2012  | 
Good, at least you both are on the same page and you both know what you want. I'm sure on the day of the wedding they will see the love and hard work that was put into you and Thomas' wedding day and they'll be happy for you both.
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