09/19/2011
Purple Rehearsal Luncheon? Please Help!!!! Do we have to pay?
   

Rehearsal Luncheon?
Please Help!!!! Do we have to pay?

I really need your help and suggestions.

The FH and I really want to have a rehearsal luncheon so that we can have the full wedding experience and to give our gifts to our bridal party and family. The problem is money. The FH, my mom, and I are basically paying for everything. My FH’s dad is paying for our honeymoon. I know generally the groom’s side of the family is supposed to host the Rehearsal Dinner, but money is an issue. His mom can barely help us with anything, so I’m sure the rehearsal luncheon is not an option.

The FH and I really can’t afford to feed everyone. We already have flights, hotels, and rental cars to pay for because we live in Atlanta, and we’re having our wedding in South Florida. No one down there has home that would accommodate a rehearsal lunch or dinner.

So I don’t know what to do. Is it tacky to have your family and wedding party pay for their own meals? We could probably pay for a few appetizers/platter plates, but we can’t pay everyone’s meal. I don’t want to seem cheap, but we are spending a lot. I just don’t know what to do.

Any suggestions?

*I just don't want to ask anyone for more money. I guess I may have to
rehearsal dinner, rehearsal luncheon, rehearsal
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hismrsb's Purple wedding
hismrsb
 |  Mississauga, ON, Canada  |  09/19/2011  | 
well, normally the rehearsal dinner does come from the grooms side, but there are always exceptions. if you are willing to pay for  appetizers/platter plates then why not make it a little get together with finger foods rather than a full luncheon? (just a suggestion)
i wouldn't ask my guest to pay though (that's my opinion) but maybe just make it a small little get together and just serve the appetizers. 2 years ago, a friend of mine had her rehearsal dinner and that's exactly what she did.

good luck love <3
missnatasha's Pink wedding
missnatasha
 |  Brisbane, La massana, Australia  |  09/19/2011  | 
I know this is a tough one. I'm making our guests pay for ours. We are having a practice ceremOny that I will invite them all along to. We are all staying at a hotel so I am just going to stay we are going to dinner and they can choose themselves if they want to come or not. I figure then I am giving them the option bit they don't have to. Will just have to give everyone the heads up they need to pay for themselves.
jellybeans88's White wedding
jellybeans88
 |  Kitchener, ON, Canada  |  09/19/2011  | 
I think its really ok to ask to pay for guest to pay for rehearsal dinner, or at least part of it. Yes it is not the tradition, but I don't really know who still have family who pay for everything. People would need to eat somewhere anyway and offering them the option of the rehearsal luncheon would bring everyone together. So you should not feel bad about asking them  to pay for the luncheon you are already  spending so much for the wedding day itself.
lastfirstkiss's Blue wedding
lastfirstkiss
 |  Greenville, SC, USA  |  09/19/2011  | 
i agree that you should just do an hors d' oeuvres (spell?) rehearsal. The people joining you for the rehearsal are your closest friends & family & they will understand your situation & appreciate that you are still doing appetizers...
glamdivabride's Purple wedding
glamdivabride
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  09/20/2011  | 
Thank you all so much and I am so glad everyone understands the situation.

My FH and I are already putting (paying for) ourselves and our wedding party to stay in suites on a resort on the beach. The suites are very big, and we are just going to get some platters of finger food for lunch. We'll also thank everyone and give them their gifts at the time. This is the best option for us and we can afford it.
hismrsb's Purple wedding
hismrsb
 |  Mississauga, ON, Canada  |  09/20/2011  | 
that sounds perfect =)

happy it all worked out!!!
kwepie117's Red wedding
kwepie117
 |  Charlotte, NC, USA  |  09/20/2011  | 
That sounds like a really good idea. That is what we had planned to do because of money and we didn't want to ask them to pay for dinner when we already have them paying to fly out for the wedding, their hotels and outfits. However, my aunt offered to pay for our rehearsal dinner so hat made it really easy on us and is a great gift from her.
nursekc909's Black wedding
nursekc909
 |  Fontana, CA, USA  |  09/20/2011  | 
i think if you make it known to them that its a gathering with hor dourves provided or even word it as light refreshments, it should be ok..it all about how you word things to now how casual it is and whats provided...maybe make a little invitation doesnt have to be fancy and invited them to a rehearsal luncheon and state hor dourves, appetizers or light refreshments provided it will let your guest know what exaclty you are paying for so they are aware, this way if they want to buy their own plate its not a suprise =D I think its perfectly fine, times is tough and I think we all understand tht right now with this bad economy, so its ok to break a littel wedding etiquette because of budgeting reasons =)
myissha's Red wedding
myissha
 |  New orleans, LA, USA  |  09/23/2011  | 
I JUST STRUGGLED W THIS MYSELF....I HAVE A LARGE GROUP AND REFUSE TO PAY FOR EVERYONE...I DECIDED TO DO AN ADULT ARCADE/BAR AND BRING PARTY FOOD....YOUR FINAL DECISION WaS PERFECT...DONT STRESS ABOUT IT
justmeandhim's Purple wedding
justmeandhim
 |  Glendale, AZ, USA  |  09/26/2011  | 
Yes finger foods are the way to go and specify that to them so they know to not come starving and eat up an entire tray solo, lol  We didn't pay for our engagement party. We threw it at a restaurant and I made it clear on the invite the times for happy hour prices and everyone paid for their own plate, we actaully had a few folks pay for our drinks that night, score!! Good luck with it and let us know how it turns out
glamdivabride's Purple wedding
glamdivabride
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  09/27/2011  | 
Thank you all....you girls are the best!

I will definitely keep you updated on how it goes.
bankhead2be1111's Black wedding
bankhead2be1111
 |  Saint louis, MO, USA  |  09/29/2011  | 
I know the feeling sis... my mom & dad, FH & I have done just about everything. Thankfully my office has a multipurpose room and I can have it there. We are doing Family style meal for the rehearsal dinner. So we will have greens, mac and cheese, chicken, sweet potatoes and corn bread.

Is there a place or house that can accommodate that way? I have seen many people do it at their home and just have it family style. Plate in their lap or on the floor. You know I'm country, lol!
glamdivabride's Purple wedding
glamdivabride
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  09/30/2011  | 
LoL, that's is too funny. We have my FH's dad house. We needed to move the wedding rehearsal to Friday from 3-5pm
glamdivabride's Purple wedding
glamdivabride
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  09/30/2011  | 
LoL, that's is too funny. We have my FH's dad house. We needed to move the wedding rehearsal to Friday from 3-5pm, so the little luncheon we had planned is out the door, so we're deciding now what we want to do. FH has said that we should all just have a little fun and go to Dave and Buster's so I'm going to look into that now.
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