This is goingforbaroque's Black Wedding!

Well...I did a ‘what went wrong post’… it was my intention to also do a ‘what went right’ as well but never got to it. So eight months later here it is. Think of this as some of the big decisions I made, worried about, and turned out to be 110% worth it.

1. Destination Wedding. I live on the middle of what is referred to as “South Florida”, for those that don’t know South Florida is the tricounty stretch of coast comprising Miami, Ft Lauderdale, and Palm Beach. Perfect place for a wedding right? Not so fast. The venues I fell in love with were either completely booked or out of my price range. The ones I could afford were almost perfect but always fell short somewhere. I spent countless hours searching South Florida, than searching Florida, than by chance I came across Mansion on Forsyth Park in Savannah (a city I have always loved). I took a trip to visit and fell in love. This was it. There were no available dates for Spring or Summer so I’d have to move my date up to February. So what did I do? I put my money down and braced for the crap and questions that occur when there is a destination wedding involved. Looking back do I regret it? No way. Savannah was the perfect place for a wedding and Mansion on Forsyth Park felt as if it were built for me. When you know you know, right? I could not imagine doing it anywhere else and I’m so glad I didn’t settle for anything else (and that hubby agreed on Savannah knowing we only had five months to plan it).



2. Splurging on a band. When you think about it what really makes a great reception? Open bar? Great food? Fabulous music? Hubby and I had been to enough weddings to recognize that the best ones were the ones that had a great cover band. So I set out on finding the best cover band I could. After searching every entertainment site imaginable and reading countless reviews and recs I found The Dickens through Sam Hill Entertainment. They were way out of my price range so I had to reallocate money from my flower budget and do a lot of begging with hubby. I really had wanted gorgeous arrangements but figured great entertainment was the way to go. Best decision ever. The dance floor was full all night… we both had people coming up to us throughout the evening wanting to know how we found them and saying best band ever… which I have to agree with.



3. Open bar all night long. Ok… this was pretty much a given for me. There was no way I was going to invite people to a wedding they would have to travel to and not provide free booze for the reception. But… most venues have in the contract 4 hours of open bar. We had decided we would go with that and after the 4 hours was up we’d go to cash bar. Well, we were having so much fun that when they told us time was up on the bar we decided we would cover it for the rest of the evening. Sure, we ate it a bit but it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected and I’m so glad we did this. I’d do it over again every single time. Hubby and I both agreed later it was the classy way to go.



4. Having a soloist instead of string trio at the ceremony. Oh, I had wanted a trio so badly but could not afford one. Our church ceremony fee covered an organist but I wanted nothing to do with creepy, weird, Dracula, organ music. That’s all I could afford so bit my lip and went with it. I met the organist and he was super nice and I started to be more accepting and maybe the organ wasn’t so bad. Yeah, maybe I could settle with that for the wedding march. But I love the Ave Maria, and I love the Lords Prayer and the organ totally takes all their beauty away. Maybe he knew a good soloist. Well yes it happens he knew an amazing soloist who sings and teaches opera in Toronto and who would just so happen to be in Savannah that weekend visiting him. Sounds like a plan. More like sounds like heaven. When I heard her singing at the rehearsal my jaw dropped. I have never heard anything sung like that before. And again at our wedding. She Was SPECTACULAR. I had several people ask me where in the world we found her and tell me she brought tears to their eyes. Whew, I wasn’t the only one. Who knew… not being able to afford a trio ended up being a very, very good thing.



5. Getting reading at the reception. My mom thought I was nuts for getting ready at the reception when we could have gotten ready at the church but she later admits this worked out well and I agree. But only because I had been staying at the reception venue all week and hubby was joining me there that night. It worked out great because I didn’t have to worry about packing anything up and I could also peak and see how things were progressing for the evening. Plus it was easy to avoid the guys this way as they were getting ready at the church. And there is something about being a bride and waiting for your car to come pick you up and then running to the church in the rain…





6. Pew Torches. I fought with hubby on this one but after the fact we both agreed that yes they were overpriced and yes they were worth it. There is something beautiful about candlelight flickering above the pews when the sun is setting on a rainy February evening. (Yes, it rained and you know what? I'm so glad it did. Our photographer said the best lighting is when the sky is overcast and we got some of the most gorgeous pics)





7. Antique Car. Antique car or limo? This was a toughy and could go either way. But for the pics you gotta go with the antique car. It fit Savannah perfectly. Glad we did this





8. Sweetheart Table. I went back and forth on this one. I had read things about it being rude to your guests to have a sweetheart table… it’s selfish… they came here to celebrate the evening with you and your off on your own ignoring everyone…blah blah blah. Well… maybe it’s rude if you don’t go around and greet your guests but that would be rude if you had a head table too. In actuality it’s a fabulous idea because…guess what… your not going to be sitting down the whole night anyway. You are going to be walking around talking to people. We had a sit down four course meal and we didn’t eat any of it. In fact the only time we sat down was for the champagne toast. That’s it. So it’s not rude to anyone. And I think it worked out better for our small wedding party in that we sat them with their friends instead of with us who would have been gone the whole time anyway.



9. Chiavari Chair rentals. My mom thought I was nuts… my hubby thought I was nuts. They thought the plush chairs provided by the venue were fine. Um… they were so wrong. And they both admitted it after seeing the final results. If you can afford it… do it. If you can almost afford it than search around for a better deal. If you book through your venue they will rip you off. Find a vendor on your own. I guarantee you whether its linens, lighting, or chairs it will be way cheaper every time booking it yourself.



10. Linens and chair covers for the sweetheart table. Pricey yes but if you can afford it it makes such a difference from the standard white table linen. We got gorgeous gold damask on gold overlays for the ballroom and lavender paillettes overlays for the cocktail tent. Both from Wildflower Linens who was wonderful to work with. They are out of NYC, LA, and San Fran but they ship anywhere. I highly recommend them. I wish we could have afforded underlays as well but they weren’t in our budget. In retrospect I would have nixed the Manzanita trees in the cocktail tent and done the underlays instead.



11. Lighting designer. Ok, Ok. So they messed up the pinlights on the centerpieces… but other than that they did great. We had them uplight the columns around the perimeter of the ballroom and pinlight the centerpieces and the cake all in a soft candlelight type of light. The effect was spectacular. And the pinlight on the cake made the cake look even more gorgeous than it already was. Yes… I would do it all again even though, as I said, they messed up the lights on the centerpieces.



12. Going straight into the first dance. Our event coordinator assigned to us at the Mansion recommended this option. Guests are seated in the ballroom… wedding party is introduced as they’re entering… we are introduced and we go right into our first dance, father daughter, and mother son, my step father gives a welcome speech (hilarious!). Then dinner begins. I’m so glad we did this first so I wasn’t nervous about it the rest of the night.



13. Extending the dance floor. Our ballroom came with a standard sized dance floor. We asked if it could we could make it a little larger and they complied. No extra charge. Hey, it never hurts to ask. Worked out well… especially when a bunch of the guests got into a dance off. Haha



14. Candy buffet. Ok sure, all the wedding blogs say its last years trend and time for something new but you know what? Everyone still loves it. It’s was a big hit and I’ve got some great memories of guests hoarding over it and one guest in particular who filled up her purse. Haha. People get a little crazy at the end of the night.



15. Having a smaller, more intimate wedding. We ended up with eighty guests and I can’t imagine having one any larger! One of my best memories is going around and really being able to have a conversation with each one of our guests. This is kind of funny because I was dreading this part the most because I’m shy, but it’s such a happy time and your having so much fun and its like all your adrenaline really takes the edge off. Haha. I think if we had had more guests we would have never made it onto the dance floor!



16. Having our dinner packaged up for us. We stayed at the venue that night and they had our dinner waiting for us in our room with a bottle of bubbly. We were starved… the only thing I had ate all night was 3 bites of my wedding cake… we sat in bed… ate our food… and talked about our favorite memories from the evening. We were both so excited and giddy I think we could have stayed up all night. Haha



17. Being my own wedding planner. Best decision of all time. Even though I had a destination wedding and only had 5 months to plan this wedding I am so glad I hand picked every aspect on my own and cannot imagine allowing (let alone paying!) anyone else to do this for me. With the internet and sites like WBC out there there’s no need to let someone else have all the fun. This site has been amazing for me and I cannot imagine that I would have had the same results without it. Thank you everyone and though planning a wedding is stressful it really is something that will be with you your whole life. I look back on that time now and wish I could do it all over again so enjoy it!!!

Here are some of my favs. Thanks so much ladies for everything. I could not have pulled this off in five months without WBC and all your support. Love you all and good luck in all your planning!

Well, I havent got the photos yet from the photographer and decided today to check out our bakers blog to see if they had a pic of our cake up. They did! Here it is. Its kinda funny because we had them do a design on the cake part that mimics the back of my dress. But since its the back of the dress they put it on the back of the cake so when they set it up the design is facing the wall so nobody sees it. pretty pointless. But the cake was beautiful and the three bites I got out of it were fantastic. I cant wait until our anniversary when we pull out the top layer and can really dig in and enjoy it.

For the most part everything went wonderfully. Things do go wrong, but its important not to sweat it and look at the whole picture. Of the four things that went wrong, two of them worked themselves out, and the other two dont really matter - its just me obsessing.

What went wrong:

The reception venue lost my linens: I had specially ordered linens from Wild Flower Linens and had them sent to the hotel under the special event coordinators name with the subject being my wedding. I had alerting the coordinator about this 3 wks before hand. Four days before my wedding I get a Fedex confirmation that my linens have been delivered and signed for. The afternoon before my wedding a get a phone message from the coordinator asking me when Im going to drop off the linens. She doesnt have them, they never got to her, she has no idea where they are. Thank god for my iphone. I was able to find my email confirmation and look at the shipping signature to find out who signed for them and I gave her that name. Then I spent an hour stressing until she called me back and said they had been found. No biggie but the moral is I should have notified her as soon as I had gotten the original delivery confirmation so she would know to look for them. If I hadnt gotten that phone message (at 4:00 of Friday) things could have been alot different.

The antique car didnt come to pick me up: I booked a hotel room at the venue I had my reception at and my bridemaids and I got ready there. The car messed up and went straight to the ceremony and never came to pick us up. None of us had a car as we had all been dropped off. When we tried calling people everyones phone was turned off because they were in the church. Our videographer ended up saving the day. My mom hired a film student to be our videographer and as a side job he valets for the hotel my reception is at. The hotel has a towncar on reserve and he got one of his valet friends to drive us to the church and drop us of. Moral of the story: have the phone number of whoever is your ride to the wedding on hand.

The first dance did not go as planned: Matt and I had been taking ballroom dance lessons and we had a whole choreographed dance. Well... our bands version of the song was very different from the original. I remember thinking 'omg they're playing the wrong song'. Their version was ALOT faster. So we tried. Unfortunately I had never gone over the moves in my wedding dress so whenever I took a step backward I would step on my dress and whenever I took a step sideways I couldnt (my dress is narrow). After the first minute I got used to the dress and was able pull it off pretty well but that first minute.... not so hot. Moral: If you have a band and have a choreographed dance... have them play from a CD/mp3. And for god sakes try it out in your dress first. Most importantly: if you cant dance OR your partner (husband/dad) isnt the greatest dancer pick a slow song.

The lighting people messed up: here is my bridezilla moment. The whole reason why I hired a lighting designer was so they would pinlight the centerpieces. It really has a beautiful effect and makes the flowers subtly pop. The lighting designer set up before the florist came and put the pin lights on the center of the table. Totally useless. My aunt couldnt turn around because the light would shine in her eyes. That wouldnt have happened it the pinlights where centered on the flowers 4 feet above the center of the table. I had votives on the table that gave the same effect. Waste of money. This is the only thing about the wedding that I feel seriously went wrong. My wedding was not perfect because of it. I know I sound bratty but I spent $800 on this and it should have been how I wanted it. As a side note though I did have them uplight the 16 columns in the room and that was beautiful. Perfect. If only they had done the centerpieces.

What else I would have done differently:

~ I would have paid the extra money and got matching underlays for our tables. The standard white looked nice but the gold would have looked nicer. Hubby even brought up the fact that we should have got them and he's the one that nixed them. And the pinlight on my cake was a must. Everyone should do this. It really spotlights the cake and brings it centerstage even if its up against a wall.

~ I would not have spent as much on decorating the cocktail tent (Stupid manzanita trees). It rained. Few people used it. Even if it hadnt rained the money would be better spent on underlays.

~I would have had my hair stylist come earlier. She had three people to do. She came at noon and left at 3:20. Plan on an hour per person unless they have assistants. I would plan to have your stylist gone for atleast 45 minutes before your photographer comes. Otherwise you will be so rushed.

~I would have done my own makeup. This one was hard for me. I wanted to have someone to do my girls makeup because I knew thats what they wanted but I wanted to do my own. I cant really have someone come and do theirs and not do mine. If I had more guts I would have done theirs but Im not comfortable with doing other peoples but whatever. I love makeup and have spent alot of money on the makeup I own. The chic who did my makeup didnt even put on primer. She only used one shade of shadow and didnt do anything to brows. Her application was good but so is mine and I was afraid her products would melt right off so I scrubed my face and redid it all. Except for the shadow/liner that was pretty good but I must have been allergic or it wasnt sanitized and I spent the next 2 days with super swolen upper and lower lids.

~I would have booked my photographer for and extra hour. We had ours for 6 hours. They stayed an extra half and hour. And it would have been less stressful if they had come a half hour earlier. She came at 3:30 and I was supposed to leave for the church and 4:30. That is not enough time (pics of bms, mob, pics getting ready). I felt super rushed. I cant even imagine how crazy it would have been if I had a larger wedding party. I forgot to put on my gloves, I forgot to put on perfume, I for got to give my face a quick airbrush spray to set my makeup (takes 30 seconds), I forgot to put in my boobs :-). It was so, so rushed. For 2 bridesmaids and hour and half would be preferable.

~I would not have worn ivory. With my skin tone I could wear any color so given that I wish I had not gone with ivory and I had gone with white. It is too dang hard to get things to match. I thought what I had picked out would match but when I saw my bouquet in real life... it did not match. If the roses had been more open it might have, but it didnt. And the shoes I got... didnt match. I bought two pairs - one that matched perfectly but were ugly and ones that didnt but were beautiful. I thought since my dress was long it wouldnt matter but guess what? After they hem it your shoes will show sometimes -- most of the time. Should have gone with the ugly ones that matched. Better altogether if you dont wear ivory. Unless your flowers are red or pink.

~I hated my bouquet. I spent that much on what... That was my reaction. I was tempted to grab on of my bm bouquets instead. They were bigger and prettier. My bouquet was exclusively roses. Well the undersides of the roses are a darker shade than open side if that makes any sense. In other words the roses were a completely different shade because they had just started to barely open. So the color was yuck! I wanted a steely grey lilac color... instead I got purple grape juice blooms. If they had been opened it would have been beautiful. For this reason I would recommend against a rose bouquet unless you know yours are going to be opened:-(

Thats it really. Everything went really well. My photographer told me she wants to submit my wedding to the Knot. I certainly dont expect anything (damn pinlights) but the fact that she even thinks its worthy makes me happy.

For all yall that have made it this far you really have something wonderful to look forwards to. I still smile and get all silly giddy whenever I think about that day. And the whole 'honeymoon moon' phase thing is so true. I really wasnt expecting that at all. We had been dating for 7 years. That stage was over a long time ago... I thought... I was wrong. I am so excited for all my WBC Brides to be out there. It's worth it all.

Neither Matt or I have ever had and any dance training so we thought it would be fun to take dance lessons to learn some moves for our first dance. Last weekend we went to our first lesson at Fred Astaire and we have gone everyday since. It seems that for those with no experience you really need about 10 private lessons to get up to par. The lessons are a bit pricey but I figure that its worth it as this is something we will always have, plus my posture has improved so much in the last week. We are dancing to Frank Sinatras 'The Way You Look Tonight' and have a fully chorographed dance routine complete with a dip at the end. I am feeling much more confident and am no longer dreading the first dance or father daughter dance because I know enough moves now to get me through them. I'd recommend Fred Astaire to anyone nervous about their first dance or who wants to learn some moves. I'd advise starting 6-8 weeks before the wedding though instead of two. That way you have time inbetween lessons to practice your routine and correct any bad habits. We had too squeeze everthing into a week, taking lessons one or two lessons everyday and thats not exactly ideal :-) but we have had fun and are going to continue taking lessons after the wedding.

We ordered .pdf and .png monograms from pinkdesignevents.com for $6 and used them, or an element of them on our programs, menus, escort cards, and table numbers. I used cardstock from Office Depot for the menus and table numbers. I deleted our name and the bottom part of the monogram in microsoft paint and then pasted into microsoft publisher and added in the frame and text. We got the escort cards and programs from Office Depot as well. I made frame in Publisher the same way as I did for the menus/table numbers and pasted it into the escort card template. I ran it through the printer and then ran it through a second time using a template with only the names on it. All we need to do now is take the table numbers to kinkos to cut them down to an appropriate size for the easels.

Yay! After being on the lookout for birdcages for the last month I finally found some at Marshalls HomeGoods. The one I purchased came with a glass cylinder in the middle which I removed. I put some silk flowers on the bottom because the bottom of the cage was ugly. And at $26 it was pretty cheap.

I got my metal trees in from cristalier, my crystals in from ethreal decor, and my silk flowers in from save-on-crafts. I did a quick mock up of what the trees would look like. Im not going to do the real put together until I'm in Savannah since FI has to transport everything in his car (I'm flying). Im pretty impressed with the trees. They are six feet tall but come in a pretty small box because the trunk peices screw together and the branches attach. The branches are also bendable so you can bend them into the shape you want. I didn't bend any of the branches for my mock up because I still need to transport everything. I bought silk hydrangea and rose garlands to wrap around the trunk. I took all the greenery off so it just the flowers and wound the garland tightly around the trunk so all you see it flowers. I got orchid branches, peonies, roses, and lilacs to weave in the branches. I used wire cutters to cut the stems off. I plan on painting the remaining orchid stems white so they blend in better with the branches and I want to buy some florist wire so I can attach everything better. I also need to get tea candles for the hanging holders that came with the tree. Im really impressed with how the lead free swarovski ropes sparkle. Im glad I got the 1 foot ropes instead of the 3ft ropes. More bang for the buck. I want to get a 2 ft base for the trees so they will tower at 8 ft tall.

Update: For those interested the price per tree including shipping, crystals, and flowers was omg $400. Wow. I didnt plan on that. I bet the florist could have done it better for the same

My FI and I have been so busy nail down last minute details its amazing were still sane. Two days ago we got an email that our wedding coordinator was resigning and would be replaced so we are having to go over everything again with the new coordinator. Our cake person sent a final contract to us a couple days ago and the details of the cake were different than what we had discussed. Our cake was supposed to be 3 layers with each layer seperated by a four inch layer of sugar flowers. In the contract they had three inches. I was worried that they were going to try to raise the price on me for 4 inches but when I talked to them they said it was a typo and fixed it. Im glad that ended up being painless. We ended up getting a lighting designer. We are going to uplight all the columns in our ballroom and pinlight the centerpieces on each table and the cake. I wanted to do lavender LED lights in the tent but FI nixed that saying cocktails are only an hour so it doesnt warrant the extra cost. So FI wins this one but I'm still happy because I'm getting lighting in the ballroom. My dog is pretty much back to normal except she doesnt burrow under blankets anymore. My MOH's papillion is being tested for cancer on Monday so I'm really hoping that she is ok. She's only 5 but she seems to have so many allergies and problems. Im hoping its a cyst which most likely it is but I really feel for her right now. Hope everyone is making it through Friday the 13.

Update:
She is doing much better than this morning. Her eye is swollen and she is in pain but I think she is going to be ok. We have another vet appointment tomorrow and hopefully they will give her a steroid shot to help with the inflammation. Thanks everyone for being so supportive.

rodrhonda4ever: you are very close. Her name is Bebe like in the gun because when we got her she was all white except for a little tan circle on her head like she got hit by a bebe gun.

I have a tiny 3 lb chihuahua. She is the cutest, sweetest, most well behaved dog. Yesterday she was sleeping on my lap and I shifted my weight and she slid off me and her head hit the floor. She didn't move at all and blood started pouring out of her nose. Pouring. Her eye started swelling up too so I immediately took her to the emergency pet hospital. They admitted her overnight and put on therapy of diuretics (flushing the water from the body/brain decreases intracranial pressure if she suffers a head injury), nonsteroidal antiinflammatories, and pain medication. I feel so terrible. My fiance is picking her up from the vet this morning and taking her home. I hope its a slow day for me at the hospital so I can go home early and see her. Last we spoke to the vet the swelling had not gone down yet around her eye. I just hope its not worse.