Ask a Question

{Wedding Differences?}

Oh I really know how you feel!  James isn't that involved in the planning process, but we did decide awhile back to have our reception at one place that we both seemed to really love.  I had offered to pay for the location, & he agreed to pay for the catering & photography. Well, 4 mons after the fact, he wanted to change the location.  I don't think I handled it as well as you...I had a few choice words, lol.  Like you said, it's frustrating when you work so hard, especially when you've already gotten their "ok".

So, the location was completely nice about it all...they allowed me to back out of contract, less 15%.  I lost some money because of it, but it is about compromise.  I was able to get an extra gift from him out of iit all, lol.  I sorta blackmailed him into getting me a necklace...

There are definitely a few things we have disagreed on. Mainly the wedding cake.. he wants an ice cream wedding cake, and I don't. I tried to compromise on this with him, by telling him he can call around get quotes and info about what places make ice cream cake wedding cakes....and after 2 1/2 months he has yet to do it....so I'm sticking to my guns and having a normal wedding cake! The other thing we disagreed on was whether or not to have a ringbearer.  My FI's cousin has a one year old son, who is incredibly adorable, and he wants him to be the ringbearer. I think he is way too young, plus may get fussy or cranky during the ceremony, and I don't think it's fair to his parents who may have to leave early because their one year old is getting cranky. So we have decided not to do this. There's a few other things, but usually I put my foot down on things, and sometimes try to compromise when I know something is really important to him.

Honey, there are just certain things men don't get.  So this is how I do mine...I just do what I have to do and show it to him and he's like "cool, I like".  When I tried doing it the opposite way..."no, I don't know"...so I trick him.  That way I get what I want and we both stay happy.  There are certain details that men just don't care about and if the brides, moh, mob's just stick together then everything will turn out just fine.  My FH still doesn't know that at the reception I am having my wedding planner to incorporate two different sashes (one silk chocolate sash, and a light green organza sash) on our chair covers.  He didn't even want to do chair covers and I was like, um any way...so I told my planner that I wanted this to be a surprise for him.  Also if he knew how much is being paid for it he would probably herniate;)

I did ask him and take into account everything that he said, that is until he started changing his mind and saying that he didn't remember those conversations. That's when I started making decisions and then asking him. If he chose the wrong thing, I just tell him "that's the wrong choice." Then I explain why it is wrong and what we are going to do instead. It works out for us. (But I have taught him that when we get in an argument, the best way to end is it by saying those 4 magical words, "Yes, honey. You're right.")

LOL ladies.  You guys have been very helpful!  I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one with this stuff on my hands :)

Mrsskippydo, I love your response! I've been very fortunate in that my FH has agreed to pretty much everything I wanted except the venue. His usual response is, "Baby, I think would be great" or  "whatever you think." The venue I was leaning most towards just had a great warm  feel to it but it wasn't in the best area of town and was not as cost effective as the one we finally picked. I also think he is better than me at invisioning how things will come together so I do ask his opinions a lot. He actually picked the colors.

My problems is that my fiance wants to be sooo involved, but when it's time to make a decision he acts as if he doesn't care what I decide. Then after the decision is made, then he throws a tantrum b/c it wasn't his idea. I have tried to compromise w/ him on some things, but the thing we are having most problems with is the amount of people he wants in the wedding. I already have 13 girls total in my bridal party, and keeps trying to add more. I told him that I'm not adding anymore people, so now he's trying to add more of his friends as honorary groomsmen...It's driving me insane!!! I understand the fact that he's from a small town and he grew up with all of these people, but you have to draw the line somewhere.  And please don't get me started about the amount of relatives that he wants to be escorted down the aisle. It's so frustrating, especially when he always responds with, "It's my wedding too."

I think my FH thinks I make up half the stuff when in all honesty he just doesnt have a clue. Sometimes I feel like banging my head off a wall in frustration but in the end I just did the stuff so it would get done and explained to him then. These arent things that HAD to be done but things in general. He didnt have a clue of any of the preparation or stress that went into any of it.

I'm going through the same thing! He wants literally no pink. The flower girl can wear pink, the only exception. Even though he is the one who loved our invitations and they have pink writing and hearts on them! Also, must wear my hair down, no ruffles. He thinks I'm obsessed. Men!

My FH also wants to be super involved and keeps saying how "elegant" he wants our wedding to be.  Which obviously I agree with.  The problem is, to stay on budget the fact of the matter is, a lot of decor stuff will need to be DIY and he's worried it will end up looking cheap.  Sure, its a concern, but COME ON!  At least give it a try before you completely toss the idea out the window!  I'm just a little more frugal than he is when it comes to staying within the wedding budget I guess.  Thats our major spat though.  Everyone has the little ones over this and that, but he's usually really good :)  I'm pretty lucky.

It's difficult to plan a wedding if there are too many cooks in the kitchen...because everyone has their own opinion. I try not to involve my FH. He is a web designer, so I stuck him with designing our wedding website...and I approve his work, but that's the only involvement he has.