Oct 21, 2009

I accidently deleted the post,trying to delete the UGG Boots comments.UGGGGGG Sorry I have to vent, I backspaced and copied the comments. They make me not want to buy them damn boots anymore.

Ladies i need to vent, I just argued with my mom for a hour about me not wanting kids at the wedding. She says thats rude and tacky not to invite kids to a wedding.The main reason kids are not invited, is because I have been to weddings just recently and the kids are running around,making a mess and screaming.I even witnessed a kid stick his finger in the wedding cake.As you all know my wedding is on Valentines Day,so I wanted a more Romantic Grown and Sexy wedding and reception.I don't even have a flowergirl or ringbearer in the wedding.My own daughter is not even in the wedding .

I told my mom for example if you went out on a date for V-Day you wouldn't take your kids, it would be you and a date right!

I said all of that to say this

Am I wrong for not inviting kids to a wedding?

misstoni26 | Sarnia, ON, Canada | 10/20/2009 Not at all!!!!! I agree, children require attention and will do things to get some like pull tablecloth off the table, sneakily take a sip of champagne (please note, I have seen this all at an actual wedding!), throw food and take flowers off the wedding cake! Now, I have 2 children so, those will be the ONLY kids at our wedding as we're having an adult-only reception. Not to mention children wasting food (my parents are from the caribbean, that's a huge no-no!) My mom argued with me and I said if you're going to mind all those children and pay for them, by all means, if not, they ain't coming lol!

esquared | Lambertville, MI, United states | 10/20/2009 I don't think you're wrong for not wanting kids there. Some parents don't pay attention and let their kids do whatever they want. It is your day. The only advice I have is to be empathetic with how you let people know that there are no kids invited. That way no one will be insulted or offended. Good luck!

dewsbury | London, London, city of, United kingdom | 10/20/2009 Its your day so you should have it exactly how you want. My sister caused a lot of crontroversy by not inviting kids to her reception to the point that one of my aunts didn't attend so she could babysit her grandkids. Kids were all invited to the ceremony but the evening was adults only. Of course a lot of people had major issues with this but she stuck to her guns! She paid for the wedding after all!!! ITS YOUR DAY! I agree with misstoni26 children require attention!

kaylad | Worcester, MA, United states | 10/20/2009 We are only allowing a few kids to be at our wedding, and that is only because they are in the wedding. My FH and I both agreed that we did not want kids crying, screaming, running around during the ceremony. All set with that and besides that we are having a night wedding kids dont need to be up that late or around a large group of adult having a good time and drinking. I am sure that everyone will understand

peachybride09 | Jackson, MS, United states | 10/20/2009 If you and your FH agree no children then it is so. No need to feel bad. The only child @ our wedding and reception was my flower girl. She is my favorite little 4 yr. old diva cousin and very well behaved.

Our invitations stated at the bottom: Adult Only Reception Follows. Some may disagree with it being stated on the invite but that way no one had a missunderstanding about bringing kids.

Hopefully your mom will come around and understand that it is your day. If she doesn't I'm with misstoni26...let her pay for them and provide childcare.

sapphire2009 | London, London, city of, United kingdom | 10/20/2009 the only kids we invited to our wedding were the ring bearer & flower girl. none of the guests had a problem with it- at least, not a problem that they aired to us or the families. In fact, most of our guests were quite relieved to get a childfree evening and I kept the RB & FG entertained with a goody bag filled with activity books, crayons, pencil, candy, toys etc. they were as good as gold.

mrsharris2010 | Harrisburg, PA, United states | 10/20/2009 my reception is adults only. that is because of the venue. also im not paying 22.00 per kid for them to look at the food and not eat it!

tunatuna | Portland, OR, United states | 10/20/2009 yea, I agree, kids can drive you nuts!!! We've got like 20 kids coming to our wedding, but that's cause they're all close family. I don't think there's anything wrong with not inviting them if you clearly state it on the invitation and be nice about it. The other thing to consider though, is if any of the people you reeeeeally want there won't be able to make it due to having to care for their child at home. If your mom has beef with the no kids things, then I agree that she should pay for childcare at the wedding

purplelisk | Ottawa, ON, Canada | 10/20/2009 I'm totally on the same page, it is so not tacky or rude to have an adult only wedding. There will be no children at our wedding, in the wedding or as guests, ceremony or reception. I'm not what you'd call a child freindly person, lol, it is one of my biggest pet peeves when people let thier children run around and scream like wild things in public. They would get the stare of death from me if they disterbed my ceremony, lol.
If it was me, I'd be more then happy to have a night away from the kids. If people are offended then quite frankley I wouldn't want them there because seems to me like they are not happy to come celebrate YOUR wedding.Stick to your guns, have your wedding your way.

rodrhonda4ever | Sacramento, CA, United states | 10/20/2009 There comes a time when some of us don't want children there. If that's your wishes, so be it. We had 3 weddings together. The first twono children. We got that out of our system. This year the kids -our kids and more were invited. I still like it better without children around. It wasn't really that bad. Just keep them occupied.

kristah | Surrey, BC, Canada | 10/20/2009 I hate going to weddings with kids everywhere, they get bored so they start to find things to entertain themselves. Usually involves running, screaming and causing mass destruction :)

We were lucky, there were very few kids on our guest list, we invited any that were related, the others we just put the parents names on the invite and they found sitters. It was tactful enough that they weren't offended.

I loaded a table with markers, crayons, colouring books, bubbles, stickers, dress up stuff and decoratable lunch pails for each kid. They were awesome.

lagaylemarie | San diego, CA, United states | 10/20/2009 I hear you, like you my wedding is on Valentines Day and I am going for the romance as well BUT I have kids in the wedding party so I will actually have the kids. I was really not wanting them there either lol, just for the romance factor but I'm going to just have activities at the table for them and try to keep them busy with those. But you should totally not have the kiddies there if you're not including them in your ceremony OR if you just don't want them there, its your wedding and I'm sure your guest will enjoy either way

hotpink | Ottawa, ON, Canada | 10/20/2009 If I hadn't invited my young cousins and other kids to the wedding, they whole family wouldn't have come. In my family, people get extremely offended when kids are not invited to weddings and often wont come. I have been to dozens of weddings, only one of which didn't have kids at it. At our wedding there was about 20 kids under the age of 11 and they were fantastic. We had a photobooth which kept them occupied and i gave them each cameras and a scavenger hunt to take photos of. I think that you should do whatever you want at your wedding though! A Valentine's wedding sounds lovely :)

siriacruz | Killeen, TX, United states | 10/20/2009 I completely agree with everyone else, if you decided no kids your decision should be respected. We went to a wedding in which the little flower girl would not move away from the door so the couple could make their entrance to the reception! everyone was laughing it off (including the kid's mother) but the bride told me it ruined her video ;-( and what she had planned for that moment.

lizaan | Amsterdam, Andorra la vella, Netherlands | 10/20/2009 I think many brides have this problem. If you're going for the grown and sexy party it's not appropriate for children to be there.

Just be sure to break the news to others about this gently.
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joeysgirl's Green wedding
Ottawa, ON, Canada
I agree.. we are also having a no kids rule!!! I love kids, but they drive me nuts at weddings whining and talking through the speeches, etc.  I wouldn't feel bad about it.   I am surprised however, that your daughter is not involved in the wedding.  We are making an exception for our two nephews who will be ringbearers.
2bmrsknowles's Purple wedding
Miami, FL, USA
I actually just had this conversation with my aunt/MOH a few minutes ago.  I definitely do not want kids there.  I have two and my FH has two, they are all in the wedding as well as my friends daughter who will be the flower girl.  I could care less what everyone thinks/feels about my no kids rule.  My family understands, if they are not in the bridal party they will not be in attendance.  Bottom line - that's it!  Good luck!
hollywoodbride's Red wedding
Houston, TX, USA
    I have received 9 emails about why I haven't included my daughter in my wedding. My daughter is only 9 months old,so why in gods name would I have a baby that young in a wedding.
2bmrsknowles's Purple wedding
Miami, FL, USA
I completely agree!!!!!
gratefulbride's Blue wedding
Charlotte, NC, USA
You shouldn't feel bad at all!  I am having kids at the wedding, but that's just me.  Just like it's a choice & preference to HAVE them, it is also a fair choice & preference NOT to have them.  So, I think the best thing you can do is give your guests proper notice in the invite {Adult only reception} so that they can make proper arrangements for child care.
's  wedding
Cocoa, FL, USA
Children are wonderful. Those who have them are blessed with one of the most beautiful things this world has to offer.

That said, there are places they don't belong. Weddings, in my opinion, are one of them.

Kids are fun. But Mom and Dad will inevitably be chasing them all over the reception, or on the reverse side WON'T be chasing them and instead let them raise hell. All of these things are not fun. If it's an evening wedding, they'll get tired and start crying and all the mommies and daddies either have to find somewhere to let them sleep or leave to take them home. Sounds romantic!

I'm sure as a mother, you understand that people will get defensive and offended over this. Their children are their entire world, and a lot of them can't IMAGINE being invited somewhere their little angels aren't welcome.

My stance is... Mom and Dad should take this as a chance to hand the baby off to someone else and enjoy a little break. Stick to your guns. There is NOTHING in etiquette that says it's rude not to invite kids. If you don't want them there, don't invite them and make sure everyone understands they aren't welcome (gently and politely, of course).
themrs2010's Red wedding
Stockton, CA, USA
We haven't said no kids but our wedding is in Las Vegas so we're hoping most people leave their kids at home. We're keeping our fingers crossed.
bride2be04's Orange wedding
Ajax, ON, Canada
No kids in my wedding.. For the same reason you dont want them there. Its not a play ground. I dont want kids running around, screaming and making a scene... I want the adults to have fun, enjoy the night and not have to worry about watching if there kid is stick there hands in the cake.. lol
shawnamarie0509's Green wedding
Lebanon, NJ, USA
I kind of wish kids weren't invited, since the youngest on my side is 14. But I don't feel like staring WW3 in FH's family!
s00n2bemrsb0lton's Blue wedding
Hayward, CA, USA
the only children that will be allowed at my wedding are the ones that are included in the wedding party. Thats it and thats all.

personally I think they will take up much needed space that I need for the adults who really CARE and UNDERSTANDS whats going on.

I love kids...just not at my wedding :)

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