This is kind of a mini vent sorry ladies, if you want to skip ahead to the good stuff this pretty little red number is the dress my Mother has picked out to wear for our wedding, she's going to be one hot mama hehe
My mom surprised me with a visit Friday morning, it was so great to see her again. Her and I have had somewhat of a rocky relationship. I've always been closer to Dad but she still means the world to me. From the start she has never really "approved" of Dave, his tattoos, piercings the hair to her meant he wasn't a "nice boy" (covers don't always describe the book) along with a few other things that I won't delve into for this post. Dad on the other hand embraced Dave from the first time he met him, he knows he takes care of me and makes me happy and ultimately thats what is important.
Mom was a huge influence on our original wedding plans, in fact she pretty much had the wedding planned. I wish I would have stuck up for myself earlier cause I know it hurt her a lot when I told her we were going to do it our way but appreciated everything she had offered. She thought our carnival plans were over the top, once again Dad was for whatever makes us happy. Now that our plans have been toned down (ie no ferris wheel or big top ceremony) I can tell she is trying to be supportive while still getting her opinions in. I try to avoid talking about the wedding with her as it stresses me out but its a tough go at times.
This weekend she told me she's gotten a new camera and that she will be taking photos at our wedding and wants this shot and that shot, and I gently told her I have my agenda and a list of shots as well as a team of two photographers, so her job is simply to be a guest and enjoy herself. She did that back at my prom, I had planned to take shots with friends and she took three hours getting me to pose and I was really unhappy and missed out on the pre party, definitely not going throughthat on my wedding day. Dave and Dad are trying to stay out of it understandably because it always turns into a "Ellie always to have her way" argument.
I don't think she realizes how hurtful she can be. I showed her my wedding dress and she said that it wasn't anything like she envisioned me in, it's "different". Thats pretty much her go to word for a lot of our plans like the menu, the girls dresses, paper flowers... I cringe just thinking about it. Now I don't mean to make this into a total rant as we do get along for the most part now as long as we avoid wedding talk. Anyone else going through something similar?
We did have a really good day yesterday, we picked out a dress for Mom together, she wanted black but I convinced her to try on this lovely red number and she looks great in it, she has a black bolero that she may wear with it to tone it down a notch, but I think she's pleased she'll be matching the bridal party, I think she feels more included in the wedding because of that little fact which is great.
I feel so much better writing this, trying to follow my own Keep Calm Carry On and feel ready to move on again :)
Happy planning!
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, that what your feeling is okay, and completely warranted. If you can manage to make it through the wedding without exploding on her....kudos to you. I know you can do it.
I'm sorry to hear about your challenges with your Mom. :( It certainly adds stress to the whole thing, and I hope things improve!
Also, check out this post with advice to keep you sane:
http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2009/09/wedding-graduate-me.html
Sometimes the people that mean the most to us can be the most hurtful, because it's their opinions that matter. I had a bit of a spat with my brother amd my mom is always ready to offer her opinions. BUT, at the end of the day, you and Dave do what makes you happy. Without being disrepectful, this is your day. You can do it. Your slogan actually stays with me now as I go through the family opinion fests! :)
And where venting is needed, get those fingers going and tell us all about it!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=40356388&ref=sr_list_6&&ga_search_query=vintage+compact&ga_search_type=all&ga_page=4&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title
I totally thought of you when I saw these! :)