kellyjaxn's Pink wedding


06/02/2008
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What should I do???
sister or best friend as moh?
Okay... I have a HUGE problem. I've decided who I want in my bridal party but there's one issue.... which of them to have as my MOH.

My sister was my maid of honor/witness when BJ and I orginally got married by the JOP. I want her to be a bridesmaid but I think I want to ask one of my best friends to be my MOH.
My sister doesn't really seem too interested in the wedding. I'm sure she is but she doesn't seem to show much interest in it at all. She never asks about it, never makes suggestions, nothing. When she does call, it's usually because she wants something.
Tracy, on the other hand, is one of my best friends. She is always talking with me about the wedding. I'm always bouncing ideas off of her. She's always suggesting things.

I spoke with my mom about this. She says my sister really has no reason to be upset because she already was my MOH and that it really should be who I want. I'm just afraid of my sister being really upset if I choose Tracy.

What do I do?
tags: problem, maid of honor, sister, best friend, moh
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gratefulbride
 |  Charlotte, NC, United states  |  06/02/2008
I would speak with your sister directly.  She may not be as aggressive as your best friend is when it pertains to the wedding details, but that may not completely convey that she is not interested.  She may feel that since she was in it before, that she will not have the option to be in it again, & may simply want to be asked.  I don't want to jump to conclusions on this, because you truly know your sis better than any of us.  If there is a chance of you wanting her in the bridal party at all, you could consider her being a 2nd moh, or helping in some other capacity so that she is even included.  I was in a good friends wedding as the 2nd moh, & it was great.  It definitely isnt to the liking of all though, so follow your gut, but if your uncertain, I would definitely talk to her, but dont let guilt or obligation steer you into asking her to fill any capacity that you dont want.
kjk2009
 |  Windsor, ON, Canada  |  06/02/2008
Your moms right - your MOH should be who YOU want. If your sister asks just explain your reasoning - she already got to be your MOH, plus I'm sure youll want a MOH whos not only interested but excited about your wedding like your friend. Good luck!
charlie813
 |  West point, GA, United states  |  06/02/2008
Oh I would definitely talk to your sister. Just tell her she was already the MOH and Tracy is just so excited about the wedding, that you want to be able to honor her like you already honored your sister.  It sounds like Tracy really deserves to be the MOH this time around and that's what you should do.  But I wouldn't do ANYTHING before talking to my sister.  You never know how they're going to react...
284aimee
 |  Durham, United states  |  06/03/2008
its YOUR wedding......... do what YOU want....... and what feels best to YOU!!!!!!
if you dont you may have regrets later.......... on this day you have to please yourself and make it your special day ...... you cant worry about what everyone else will think........
im sure your sis will understand.............since she already was your moh before
debbiev
 |  San diego, CA, United states  |  06/03/2008
I haven't been very close to my sister in the last 8-10 years (since her new husband - whole other topic) but when it came to my Best Girl (MOH) I picked my brother's wife without a second thought! She has been by my side since the day my brother met her and I could see it anyother way on my wedding day!! It all worked out. My sister approached me and told me she was upset and I just told her, "you know things have not been the same and this is what I want on my wedding day, end of story."
vintagebabe
 |  -, -  |  08/10/2008
its not fun having a wedding party member who just doesnt seem to give a hoot. Perhaps your sister doesnt take your actual wedding as seriously because she thinks since you're already married.. it doesn't matter.... to HER. I'd go with the friend.

I was married when I was very young (divorced thank GOD - long story) And because I was so young, I had no one to help me with the wedding (I'm also an only child) and my step mom who raised me with my dad thinks weddings are a waste. So I pretty much had no one. I picked people my ex husband knew to be in our wedding.... and... it was a disaster. They didn't even help me decorate before the wedding. I would pick people who CARE who will give you the attention you need,  and the loving help and opinions when you ask them, with enthusiasm. Not someone who doesn't really care. It'll put a damper on everything for you, and make you angry when you look at your wedding album later.
pearaholic
 |  Calgary, AB, Canada  |  08/10/2008
It sounds like you know your friend would be a better MOH for you this time around.  Tell your sister that you really want her to be involved as a bridesmaid, but that you would like Tracy to be MOH this time (charlie813's suggestion that you would like to honor Tracy this time as you honored your sister last time sounds good).  You need a MOH who is going to be your cheerleader and helper.  If Tracy is enthusiastic about it then go with her.  Then you never need to feel like you're "imposing" on your sister if she doesn't seem as interested.
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