03/22/2010
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Wedding Reception
Opinions Please!!!

So I was just enlightened by a friend about an idea about inviting guests. Apparently you can invite people to the ceremony and dancing (reception) but not the dinner. That way the people you may be iffy about inviting still get the chance to celebrate with you but you don't have to pay for their dinner which is the most expensive part of the budget - as terrible as that sounds but we all know how much a wedding costs!!!

I feel like this solves so many problems!! We'll still be able to invite people to celebrate in our day without breaking the bank and going into terrible debt....I felt like the biggest stress of the wedding was solved!! lol

So what do you ladies think of this idea? I wanted to get your opinions! Do you think it's cheesy or inconsiderate? If we were to send out invites to some people who are more acquaintances that said something along the lines of
"Ceremony at 5:00pm
Join us and celebrate with some fun and Dancing at 8:30pm" ?

Other brides that have done this... how have you worded your invites and did you need an RSVP?
reception, invites, question
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more of kismet1220 more Wedding Receptions
trombonechick's Pink wedding
trombonechick
 |  London, ON, Canada  |  03/22/2010  | 
Just be VERY careful about the wording.  I once received an e-mail invite (which ticked me off to begin with) to the dance only, but it was made REALLY clear that I was NOT to appear before a certain time, so as not to intrude on the speeches or dinner, etc.  You just don't want it to look like you're expecting people to buy you gifts for nothing in return . . . Of course, you can do it - just gauge how you think your "dance only" guests might react, and consider the wording and your motives from their perspective, too.
kismet1220's Purple wedding
kismet1220
 |  Ottawa, ON, Canada  |  03/22/2010  | 
Yeah, I had never heard of this before! I wasn't sure on how I would feel if I was on the other end of the invite.... decisions, decisions!
That's a really good suggestion trombonechick. Maybe I could also include something that says "No gifts please" or "Well wishes only" or something like that. If we're not paying for dinner, I definitely would not expect a gift.
's wedding
3rdtimebride
 |  Ottawa, ON, Canada  |  03/22/2010  | 
In the 70s and 80s it was ok to ivite ppl like co- workes to the dance portion, but I wouldnt invite them to the church....
  It can be a slightly different invitation saying along the lines of
please join us for the dance in celebration of our marriage 9.pm..... well wishes only please
sarahdarling's Black wedding
sarahdarling
 |  Toronto, ON, Canada  |  03/22/2010  | 
i'm not sure how i feel about this. i mean, to your guests it will be quite clear that they were "important enough" to be invited to the ceremony and dancing, but not quite "important enough" to be invited for dinner. if i was on the receiving end of this invite i would probably be quite upset and wouldn't attend. i hope i don't upset you, i'm just trying to be honest.

i've heard of people being invited to the ceremony and not the reception or being invited to the dancing, but not the ceremony and dinner. it will be tough to invite guests to the ceremony and dancing with a HUGE gap for dinner in between. i think you just have to be very careful about how you word everything and be prepared for upset guests through the grapevine.
kismet1220's Purple wedding
kismet1220
 |  Ottawa, ON, Canada  |  03/22/2010  | 
Sarahdarling - you didn't upset me at all! This is exactly why I posted this here :) To get honest opinions before making any rational decisions and then regretting them. So thank you for replying! :) I honestly have never heard of this before but apparently it's very common for people who live in small towns.

Would you still think it's inconsiderate to invite to ceremony only? I totally hear you and understand the important/not important enough thing though...it could all be taken wrong. So I guess ultimately would it be better to not invite them if I'm really on the fence about them?
trombonechick's Pink wedding
trombonechick
 |  London, ON, Canada  |  03/22/2010  | 
I'm from a small town, and for years, I was the church organist, so I played for a ton of weddings.  The consensus in my town was that if you're having a church wedding, it's basically open to whoever wants to come.  Joe Schmoe off the street could technically come, if he wanted to.  Depending on where you're getting married, it's totally appropriate to invite people just to the ceremony, but I agree with Sarahdarling; it's going to be hard to explain the six-hour gap between the ceremony and the dance.
bryanswife17's Red wedding
bryanswife17
 |  Joliet, IL, USA  |  03/22/2010  | 
i have never heard of this.....i have seen of guests inviting their friends for cocktails and dancing after dinner; which i think is tacky, but i have witnessed this. i think if you decide on this, i would have it be more word of mouth rather than an invitation.
nidhal's Purple wedding
nidhal
 |  Santa ana, CA, USA  |  03/22/2010  | 
I agree with all of the other girls. I think this will cause more harm than good although your intentions are pure and we all have budgets. I think just keep the people off altogether otherwise they will feel unimportant. Also, what will you do if some show up early or during dinner? Will they be held at the door? This could happen and might be embarassing for all. I think if you want to spend time with others, have a small get together after the wedding (different day altogether) to celebrate being newly married?
's wedding
pinkbling26
 |   |  04/17/2010  | 
hello. i am in the same boat with u here. i was thinking of doing the same thing becuase of "budget cuts" lol. The word of my wedding got out very quickly to my HUGE family and it wasnt in my budget to invite them ALL but how could i not after so many were happy and waiting for their invite like 2 days after the proposal lol. So my plan was so intive the very intamite and close family and then invite the rest for Cake And Dancing. So hopefully it works out lol. but after i read all ur responses i defiently know now to watch the wording of the invite!!! good to know im not the only one out here with ur situation. GOOD LUCK
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