This is lafuturasrat's Black Wedding!

Hi ladies!

I am wondering, for those DW brides...

Are you planning to wear the same dress to the wedding and the at-home reception?

Is it considered tacky to do so?

I want pics with my grandparents in my pretty dress, for example, but know that they won't be able to handle a trip to Mexico for the wedding itself...what are your thoughts?

Acceptable or inappropro?

If you are doing - or did - a destination wedding...how do you decide who to invite? Should you invite *everyone*, knowing that 90% don't show? Or do you invite *just the most important* and risk hurting feelings?

Any insight would be GREATLY appreciated!

About a week ago, several of my friends and fellow immigrant wives were featured in a recent news article entitled “American-born wives married to U.S. deported or banned spouses band together via online networks”. Many of the comments made about the article were ignorant, uninformed and some were downright mean. One commenter even wrote that "…a woman (can be so desperate she) would marry a ham sandwich…" In response, my friend Emily, or The Real Housewife of Ciudad Juarez, as she calls herself, wrote a blog called: “25 Things I Love About My Ham Sandwich”. In response, a number of other immigrant wife bloggers wrote similar lists and I decided that, in solidarity, I will post one myself. But while Luis is a fan of ham sandwiches, I felt there had to be some more appropriate food to compare him to…and then it came to me! So without further ado:

25 Things I Love About My Taco Al Pastor

1. He’s incredibly handsome. Like, ‘classic good looks’ handsome. Everyone says so. =)

2. He’s got a big heart. Just recently when a coworker showed up at work with a suitcase and nowhere to go, he called and asked if he could stay with us for a few days until he got some things figured out. I said yes, so we must be kindred spirits that way.

3. He’s bilingual and bicultural. He’s as comfortable singing along to bachata as he is rapping along to Lil Wayne. He’s always been interested in US culture and we discuss culture a lot at home. I really love that he is so into understanding where I am from.

4. He’s very intelligent. When we met, we barely spoke English. Within about a year, he spoke English so well that some people couldn’t even tell he wasn’t a native speaker.

5. He’s a hard worker. During the time we dated and even now, he’s held a number of different jobs. He’s done everything from cashier to driver/appliance delivery – sometimes working up to 18 hours a day. He is humble and will take any (moral) job he can get if we are in need of money.

6. He’s an awesome cook. His taquitos and guacamole are TO DIE FOR! And I get them anytime I want =P

7. He stood by me through my darkest time. Right after we met, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor after suffering from severe headaches for several months. My prognosis was unclear and I told him he could leave if he wanted, since I knew it would be drama. He stayed by my side through everything and now, with a clean bill of health, I’ll never forget how he supported me.

8. He’s got a great, silly sense of humor. He’s always making jokes or plays on words and he finishes with a silly ‘eyebrow bounce’ that never fails to make me laugh.

9. He loves all different kinds of food. Our favorites are sushi and Indian food, but we'll both try anything once!

10. He’s not machista, which is a gem to find in a Latino man. He’s man enough to be okay with me being the breadwinner at times. Not typical for Mexican culture, but he handles it well.

11. He apologizes when he screws up. I know a lot of men (and people in general) who never say they are sorry, which makes me love him all the more for owning up to his mistakes.

12. He’s open-minded; socially, politically and intellectually.

13. He does the things that I like to do with me, even if he doesn’t love to do them. Like dancing! We took a Latin dance class together, just because I wanted to, even though he’s ‘not that kind of Mexican’!

14. He’s interested in politics and world affairs. We love to watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report together!

15. He’s very family-oriented. He has no problem drinking a couple of beers with my dad or talking over coffee with my grandparents. The family loves him and he loves them!

16. He’s not afraid to ask questions if he doesn’t know about/understand something. It takes a certain dignified humility to admit you don’t know something, and he has it!

17. He’s dedicated. He recently started working in the restaurant business; a new venture for him. Since then, he has been promoted several times and often spends extra time at work ‘perfecting’ a new skill he needs to learn for the job. Sometimes I think this is a negative because I don’t see him as much as I’d like to, but dedication is certainly an asset in a partner.

18. He’s imperfect. I know, I know. Why is this on a ‘why I love him’ list?! Well, because we are ALL imperfect. If he was the perfect man who always did everything right, it would be intimidating. I love that he can make mistakes but realize his errors and fix it for next time. I love that we are imperfect together.

19. He’s strong! When we met, he used to go to the gym every weekday! He has very muscular arms, which I love! I always feel protected with his arms around me.

20. He demands respect for me. Again, sometimes this is an annoying one, but I appreciate why he does it. When I go out dancing, he’s always trying to be sure I’m adequately ‘covered up’ so no other men leer at me or say/think disrespectful things about me. He says, “You’re too smart and capable to have men looking at you con morbo”.

21. He has incredible faith. I have always been a ‘seeker’ when it comes to my beliefs about God and the afterlife. He just believes. I don’t understand how he does it, but I kind of envy it. It’s amazing to witness.

22. He always looks good. Usually better than me. He takes a lot of pride in his appearance; but not to a point of vanity. He just makes sure he’s always looking sharp, smelling good, and with a smile on his face!

23. His smile! Once, a girlfriend of mine from Spain was visiting with her mother, aunt and sister. She knew Luis but her family members didn’t. Her mother and aunt commented that Luis’s ‘eyes smile’. I know exactly what they mean!

24. He’s changed me for the better. We are polar opposites in many ways – and both kind of extreme – so the influence that we have had on each other, and especially him on me, has been very positive. (Example: My car used to be a virtual trash heap…now, due to his influence, I keep it clean and take better care of it!)

25. He always encourages me to reach for my dreams. This spring, I brought up the possibility of starting to work on a second master’s degree. He doesn’t have a college degree yet, and I asked him what he thought of me going for a second master’s when he hasn’t had a chance to go to college. He told me to go for it and that he’d be behind me all the way!

We wouldn’t go through all the hardship and heartache for these men out of ‘desperation’. It just so happens that my media naranja was born South of the Border. God chose him for me…I just had to do a little work to get him!

I hope you enjoyed my list – I’d love to see one from you as well!

Hi ladies!

Well, even though our Cancun wedding is not a sure thing yet, I'm already starting to think about our 'look' and I'm a little torn.

I know we will be using teal as our main color to go along with the sea, of course.

Our wedding, however, will be pretty simple. Probably no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Basically just us and my bouquet will be the 'color splash' to pull it all together. So here's where I need your help.

Do I go with callas with a teal ribbon to keep it classic and simple?

Or do I go with bright, fun tropical colors like lime green, bright orange or fuschia to go along with the tropical theme of our location?

Check out the pics and let me know your opinions! Thanks for reading!

Niagara Falls has been sooo fun and is incredibly beautiful. It was a perfect reminder of hows much we love each other and why we are together!

As promised, here's the rest!

So we left at 5am on Saturday morning and my hubby, being the great guy that he is, drove nearly the entire seven hours! He even let me take a nap, even though he had worked the night before and I hadn't!!

As we passed through New York, we got stopped for speeding. The trip will now cost about $100 more than we expected, but we didn't let it damper our spirits. The scenery was absolutely gorgeous on the way up.

We arrived around noon and checked into our B&B, Elizabeth House Bed & Breakfast. It was the perfect place to stay. Debbie and Perry were so sweet and hospitable. They even put a bottle of champagne in our room when we got back from dinner. It's small, personal and antique-y! Adorable! I highly recommend!

Anyway, so we dropped our bags off and headed out for a walk. We ate lunch at the Top of the Falls restaurant. I got a buffalo chicken wrap and he got wings. When in Buffalo, as they say... =) We then went on the Cave of the Winds tour which was sooo cool! You get right down next to where the American Falls crash onto the rocks. We also took a ride on the Maid of the Mist. Our favorite part was probably when the boat got right in the middle of Canada's Horsehoe Falls. We were soaking wet, but it was so awesome to see how powerful and beautiful the water was. Due to wind and wetness, we were a bit cold, so from there we headed back to the B&B where we got cleaned up and set off to the Canadian side for dinner.

We had dinner at the Keg Restaurant on the 9th floor of the Embassy Suites. Absolutely killer view. Food was excellent, too, but a bit pricey.

From there, we walked around a bit...hit up a casino and lost some money...lol then we headed back home with our cheesecake to commemorate our wedding cake. Then we found the champagne. It was delicious and sooo thoughtful!

The next day we got up late, ate a yummy breakfast at the B&B and wen to church at the oldest Catholic church in Niagara Falls, St. Mary of the Cataract. Then we headed across the border again to check out the view from Skylon Tower. We then took a walk on the Canadian side of the falls and took tons of pictures.

We headed home around 5pm and arrived back in Baltimore by midnight! And today...Day One of the move to our new apartment!!! So excited to be in and settled!!!

One year ago today, Luis and I tied the knot!!

It hasn't been an easy year, but it has shown us that marriage takes self-sacrifice, commitment and communication. We have grown so much together and I can't wait to see what the future brings for us...

But for now...bring on the Falls! We're off to Niagara! Have a great day, everyone!!!

I've lived in my apartment for nearly five years. I moved here with a good friend in 2007. Since then, I've had a number of roommates and houseguests and Luis moved in here when he came back from Mexico.

So now, due to some issues with neighbors and some great luck with a coworker, we are getting our FIRST PLACE TOGETHER!

Now, why is that a big deal? Well...up until now, he's been living in my place. Not said in a rude way, but I'm sure he didn't feel any 'ownership' in this apartment. This new place is going to give us a chance to build a home together!

And I am SO EXCITED!!!

Anyway, enough news for today but just wanted to share!!

This year has been a little tough on us. Luis got back, we got married, and then immediately he struggled to find a job and then his parents moved in.

Sharing a two bedroom apartment between four people, especially when you are newlyweds...a BIG no-no!

But, gracias a Diosito, we are in a great place right now. We were going to stay in town and go out for a nice dinner to celebrate our first year casados but the Mr. had a different idea.

Luis: What about Niagara Falls?
Julie: What about it?
Luis: For our anniversary? What do you think?
Julie: Can we afford it? How much would it cost?
Luis: (Looking online) It would be about $100 for gas and like $150 to stay...I think it's worth it. It would be cool! And it's been a tough year - we deserve it!

And there it is, folks! Tomorrow, we are headed north! And since the Mr. has a green card now - we will be visiting both the US and Canadian falls!! Woot!

Most of you know how quickly our wedding was put together. I guess I'm just spontaneous =P

But due to the spontaneity for our wedding, my 'bachelorette' consisted of my (3 month pregnant) sister and I at a Latin bar...the same bar where we had our wedding dinner the next day!

Hilarious moment: A dude said to me, "You are so beautiful. Can I have your phone number so we can stay in touch?" and I said, "Um...I'm getting married tomorrow - see the Bachelorette crown?" He says, "Oh, I don't read English...wow, congratulations. That's awesome."

Awkward.

It was a super fun night though...and last night I relived it with my sis and my friend Marisa! Great night!

After much discussion, plans may have changed YET AGAIN. But I'm not upset. Actually, I'm pretty excited!

As you all may know, when Luis left to do his immigration process in Mexico, we flew to Cancun, had four great days together, and then left each other at the airport in the saddest moment of my life thus far.

From there, things were a crazy roller coaster, ending in the cancellation of our church wedding and an impromptu courthouse wedding.

Well, we resumed planning for a 'big, church wedding' last July and in April 2011, realized that financially, it wasn't feasible. So we canceled again and started looking at other options. I realized that I was being super selfish by insisting on having both the civil and the religious weddings here in the US, knowing full well that the chances of his family members getting visas to come were slim to none. So we looked at Mexican options.

We wanted to get married in his hometown, but due to it's location about four hours by car outside of Mexico City...and my parents' complete lack of Spanish-speaking ability...he said maybe it wasn't a great choice...and so...

We are now considering a destination wedding in Cancun!!! A good friend of mine is a destination wedding planner and she has been sending me all kinds of goodies, but my favorite by far is this chapel right here! It's the Capilla de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe!

I just made this...I absolutely love it...

Not perfect for the color scheme in the church, but close-ish!

Thoughts?

Sooo...

Obviously this is not an immediate plan. We have no date or anything, but I started talking to Luis about the possibility of having our church wedding in his hometown in Mexico rather than here. It just seems unfair to have both our civil and our church wedding in the US, practically making it impossible for his family to celebrate with us...

Also, the wedding we planned here...well, the moment has passed. We originally wanted an elegant affair here in Baltimore at the church where he proposed...but the truth is, we are a totally different couple than the young, silly, happy-go-lucky kids who got engaged at that church. We have been through so much together that to try to pull off the wedding we planned before all the drama would seem a little...I don't know? I can't explain it, but perhaps one of my WBC ladies can come up with the right word...

So anyway, a brand new wedding will have to be planned. One suggestion was that since the church here no longer means much to us, maybe we could get married at the chapel where his parents got married.

My opinion?!? Gorgeous!!! And SOOO Mexican. It's actually what we really wanted. Something small and cozy and with meaning to it. What are your thoughts?

What flower colors could I do in there? I probably won't have bridesmaids exactly, but if I did - what color should I have them wear?

If you want to see more pics, there is a flickr page of pics here!

The best part is, we'd probably have the ceremony there with a party...then come back here and have a 'traditional family reception' just like all my cousins did at the same place where all my family has their receptions in my hometown. That way we get to celebrate with both and kind of keep the family tradition.

What do you ladies opine? I'd love to hear from you!

In November, my sister had her first child. Her name is Charlottle Luna Marie and she is absolutely beautiful. Two weeks ago, on May 1st, Luis and I became Char's godparents!

What a blessing! <3

Hi All!

I was on a pretty long hiatus...having a rough time seeing so much wedding happiness after our wedding tribulations...but I've decided to come back to start getting back in the swing of things...

So, we decided to cancel the convalidation ceremony after all. We decided we needed to really focus on the important things - aka - our marriage. Things were pretty tough, especially for the first six months. Money was really tight, which is why we canceled our 'big wedding' that we wanted for our first anniversary. Now we are just saving up and enjoying our day to day lives as husband and wife.

Life isn't perfect...our marriage is far from perfect, but rather than waiting for things to be perfect, we've decided to make the most of what we have!

A year ago today I woke up in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico and waited nervously in a hotel room as my then fiancé went to the US Consulate and handed in our I-601 waiver packet.

That day, that submission, would determine whether we would spend the next 10 years building our life together in the US or whether we would be waiting out his ban in Mexico.

I'm happy to say that this morning, we woke up together, as husband and wife, in our bed in Baltimore, Maryland!

It's been a crazy year, but every single day that I have him by my side is a blessing.

Well, if you read my last post...you'll know that we have scrapped (for now) any plan of a 'big, fairytale' wedding and are now planning a pretty simple convalidation (aka - making it kosher with the Church) ceremony.

I kinda feel like I should use the same dress...I mean, I've only worn it once and if you're gonna have 15 different weddings, may as well make the dress serve it's purpose as much as possible right?

So my questions, ladies, are the following:
1. Should I use the same dress? Or is that tacky?
2. Last time I went with rhinestones/silver with pinky/yellow flower scheme. How can I change it up?
3. What color/colors would you use?
4. What kind of jewelry/hair?

AND...

You have probably seen the bouquet (two posts down) I have been creating on Etsy. Still haven't bought...

5. Should I buy? Can I use that bouquet with this dress?!

Ugh. Issues. Thanks for any help/weighing in you can do!

Wow. I have now canceled two weddings.

Never, in my entire life...in my wildest dreams, did I think that I would write those words.

And yet, there they are.

Luis and I decided to cancel our 'big wedding' for financial reasons. We simply don't have the money for the wedding we want. And rather than put the marriage in jeopardy by creating financial tension, we'd prefer to cancel the celebration and wait until we have the money at our disposal.

To be honest, I'm in mourning. I'm mourning the life I always thought I'd have - because despite having an awesome husband, I'm not really feeling like I'm 'living the dream', so to speak. So for now, the plans have changed and I'm trying to roll with those changes.

I think the wedding gods are trying to tell us that we weren't meant to celebrate this marriage in the USA...so instead of a big wedding, we're hoping to do a small, family only convalidation ceremony for our one year anniversary - that's to 'bring the marriage into the church'.

Then...one day...when we have money and we are stable...I want to have a big, traditional Mexican wedding in the church where his parents got married: La Iglesia del Carmen in Teziutlan, Mexico, Luis's hometown.

At least we're making an interesting story for the grandkids...?

Hello ladies!

I'm really looking for feedback on this one. I am getting my flowers handmade from fabric by an awesome seller on Etsy.

Now I'm trying to think of what to have the bridesmaids carry...

At first I thought clutches, but the girls said they probably wouldn't use them again...

So then I thought maybe I could get (or possibly MAKE) them white fabric flowers to match...

Any other alternative ideas? What are your thoughts?

Thanks ladies!

Now that they have all been asked...and accepted! I'd like to introduce the ladies...

The MOH (Pic #2): Samantha
Sam and I met in college - both studying to be teachers. We also lived together for several years while we were getting started in our careers. She even let Luis move in with us for a while. She is an awesome friend and ALWAYS a voice of reason for me!

Bridesmaid (Pic #3): Bernadette
Bern and I met at the first school I worked in. We have since parted ways work-wise but we still stay close in touch and are workout buddies. She inspires me because she stays busy - the way I do - and she ALWAYS works hard to get what she wants!

Bridesmaid (Pic #4): Marisa
Marisa and I have only known each other since last New Year's Eve...but we have since grown super close. We have a ton in common - she's going to be a Spanish teacher too and she's also dating a Latino guy...who happens to be named Luis also! LOL...our dudes also have a pretty serious bromance going on...which makes us awesome couple friends!

Bridesmaid (Pic #5): Chrissy
Chrissy is my little sister, thus we have known each other forever. We have so many crazy memories and inside jokes...it's ridiculous! She is married to a former coworker of Luis's and they just had their first baby, Charlotte, who is pictured below. I know she's very busy as a new mom...but I still wanted her to be a part of our wedding! =) So glad she said 'yes'!

So there they are! So psyched! Things are coming together!!!

So, I decided to use the link below along with some advice from fellow WBC-ers on my last post...and here was the outcome!

The boxes were not exactly as explained in the link below - but I think they came out cute!!

ALL my girls said 'yes'! So now it's on to the REAL planning!! Ahh!!!

We're finally going to have our big day!!! =)))

Thanks for all the feedback and love girls!!!

So...as the planning has begun, I've been thinking of how to ask my girls to stand with me on our second big day.

Pretty much all of my girls have been through all the drama of our first wedding with me and they already know that they will be asked to be my bridesmaids, but I wanted a creative way to do it...

So...here it is!

I bought my supplies last night. I'll definitely post pictures.

Are you asking in a special way?

So...I've decided to buy my bouquet.

AllThatZazz from Etsy does amazing work! I love her peacock bouquet! Beautiful!!

So I was thinking for each of my girls, I might use this tutorial to make somewhere between 1 and 3 white lotus blooms, then put two feathers off to one side like leaves...

The zebra one was my first attempt using some scrap material.

Hello ladies!

So now that we are planning in earnest, I'm wondering about our entrance to the church. We have unofficially decided to change to a smaller, more intimate chapel. The only issue: this chapel is basically circular and has no center aisle.

Thus, there will be no 'grand promenade' of parents and bridal party - only a simple side entrance straight to the 'altar'.

My question is:
Before, when we were planning our big wedding as our FIRST and ONLY wedding, my husband's parents were going to escort him in, then the bridal party, two by two, then finally my parents with me...

Now that there is no aisle and since we are already married...

Do you think it would be better for us to just walk in together? Like, his parents, my parents, MOH and Best Man, then us?

I think, on one hand, the symbolism of walking in with my parents might be something I feel I missed out on if we walk in together...but on the other hand, it's almost ridiculous symbolism at this point considering we've done just about everything on our own!

For second time brides - any suggestions? I need advice!!!!

Thanks!!!

A friend suggested that perhaps black feathers were too dark for a wedding...

So I went and got a white boa to test drive...

Any thoughts?

Here she is!

Here are the stats:
Born 11.16.10
at 11:45pm
Weight: 6lbs, 7oz
Length: 20 inches

She's beautiful!

What a wonderful Thanksgiving gift!
Our family has so much to be thankful for!

This morning I texted my sister, jokingly, and said:
"You know, I'm kind of starting to plan my life around you giving birth...like, yeah, I'll be there, unless my sister is in labor..."

And she texted back:
"Um my water just broke..."

So I guess Baby Charlotte is on her way!!!! What an exciting day! I'll post pics when she's here!!

Apparently, husby had his own ideas about centerpieces. Here are some of his inspirations.

All minus the feathers - we are going to try to use swords or eye feathers within the black no matter what style we go with.

Or maybe we can alternate styles on the tables?

Please keep voting ladies! Thanks!

Alright ladies, any thoughts?

I have plain black with the teal stones...
then with a few peacock feathers...
then with a sword feather...

Any votes?

Husby and I dressed up as miners from Chile! We were a big hit!

It was super fun! Ahhh!!! We made it into the local newspaper!!!

Check us out here!

We're photo #1!!! =)))

How about you? What were you and your SO?!?!

It's coming up on Dia de los Muertos, November 1st. My husband, being Mexican, celebrates this holiday to honor his deceased relatives. This year, being that we finally got married, I have been reflecting a lot on my deceased relatives and in particular, my maternal grandparents, Helen and Breen Mason.

I'm sad that neither of them were able to see me get married. Granted, my grandfather died when my mother was only 11 so I never actually met him, but obviously his genes have something to do with the person I am today. My maternal grandmother passed when I was 16 and she suffered from advanced Alzheimer's disease before she passed away so I never really got to know her while she was lucid, but from everything I've heard about her, we had a lot in common.

One thing that I really love about this holiday in Mexican culture is the rich imagery and the idea of honoring people who have passed every year...taking the time to clean up their graves and set out their favorite dishes, keeping them a part of the family even after they have moved on from this world.

This year, on Dia de los Muertos, I'm going to be thinking a lot about my maternal grandparents, whose choice to get married and start a family all those years ago resulted in my ability to make the same choice today.

I love that I can celebrate this holiday with my husby...=)