Feb 24, 2011

Lost a bridesmaid today..

This is one of my childhood friends and also my fiances brother's ex girlfriend. I knew things would be awkward with her in the wedding because FH's brother is the best man and there's tension between the two so I'm really not super shocked she backed out.. anyways, After trying to get in touch with her for 3 days straight and no reply she responded to my text today saying she wouldn't be able to make it or dresses because of a money issue. Now let me make this clear, I let all the girls know dresses needed to be ordered this Saturday over a month ago..I know money is tight for everyone but I really feel like she's trying to get out of it anyway so I told her not to feel obligated to be in the wedding, because I would be needing more of her help since we are only 5 months out. She told me now just isn't a good time and that she can't do it.. my peeve is, I asked her over a year ago and she reassured me that she could do it. I understand things come up but this is just one more let down from my bridal party, we've been friends for so long I thought for sure I could depend on her. I was there for her through her breakup and the one she called at 2am to talk to.. now when I need her she wants to back out?She called me and left a VM asking if I was mad.. and I know I have no right to be mad because at least she told me.. but im so sick of being there for everyone when they need it and the minute I need a little support everyone dissapears! I just can't bring myself to talk to her right now. I really have nothing to say.. Ughhhh I'm so frustrated! I don't know what I'd do without my FMIL, mom and my best friend who have totally been there for me. THANK GOD FOR THEM!

So I'm trying to look on the bright side! One less bridal bouquet to buy and also one less bridesmaids gift :)

So down 1, leaves me with 5!

Thanks for letting me vent (once again ladies!!) hopefully this is the last one!
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futuremrscalvillo's Red wedding
Downey, CA, USA
Dont worry or stress too much about it as long as you have the important girls that you mentioned you can get through it with their help. I lost a BM as well because of a family reunion. I was upset but I read that Your wedding is a one day thing and in the end its not worth loosing friendships over a wedding. It could be frustrating I know and I feel like I'm on my own as well  sometimes because my maid of Honer is MIA but I try to stay calm and tackle one thing at a time. Dont stress just enjoy the planning and leave the little issues behind. Your wedding will turn out amazing! You have many great ideas.
laurie88's Orange wedding
Sykesville, MD, USA
I know everything will be fine, I just thought I would have more support from these girls then I have. Considering the fact that I always try to be there for all my friends.. esp this one. I know it's only one day and I try to remember that. As for friendship.. I don't think we've had a great one for awhile.. I feel like she uses me to find out information about her ex because we're close. Guess anytime you have a huge thing happen in your life you realize who your true friends are and who really cares about you!
justmeandhim's Purple wedding
Peoria, AZ, USA
OH no! Sorry to hear that.  Keep you head up and it's better to know now then on the day of the wedding!  Good luck!
laurie88's Orange wedding
Sykesville, MD, USA
@Justmeandhim, that's true. I just need to keep thinking positive I guess!
kellys's Blue wedding
Oshawa, ON, Canada
this situation totally sucks.. but you're doing good trying to be positive about it! 6 people is too many anyway..hahah (not really - just being optimistic)
definitely try and not let your friendship with her get ruined over this, but if things were rocky anyway..then this was just the last straw for you two anyway probably.
I find its difficult to count on the bridesmaids who aren't in the same place as you in life - who maybe aren't ready or don't realize how much there is to do with a wedding and how much you do need their support.
Atleast you have a good support system with your mom and best friend :) be thankful and appreciate the ladies you do have :) and don't forget your WBC sistas! lol
laurie88's Orange wedding
Westminster, MD, USA
you aren't lying!! the girls are are sooo supportive, this site seriously keeps me sane some days!
prncss173's Black wedding
Reno, NV, USA
I think you have every right to be upset.  I think you are doing the right thing in not really talking to her while you are upset and waiting to figure things out.  Just don't focus on it instead keep focusing on the amazing women you have in your life.  I had a bad bridesmaid and I just had to let it go after a point.  She stayed in the wedding, but I expected nothing of her.  People just have trouble remembering that it has nothing to do with them.
laurie88's Orange wedding
Sykesville, MD, USA
If I wasn't having problems with my MOH too I probably wouldn't be so stressed about loosing this one.. :(
kirajane's Pink wedding
Green bay, WI, USA
I think you have every right to be mad! I would feel the exact same way! Even though none of my bridesmaids have backed out I feel like I'm pulling teeth every time I  mention something about the wedding. I don't want to sound vane here but I really try to be there for all my friends whenever they need (or don't) need me. I like doing special things for them just to make them happy, so when I bring up something about my wedding that you agreed to be in they shouldn't get all pissey or whatever you want to call it. I think you should just try to stay calm but definitely tell her your upset. Lying or pushing it off won't make it better. Whats up with your MOH ?
loveatthebeach's Blue wedding
Portsmouth, NH, USA
Sorry to hear about this. And good for you for trying to keep looking for the positive. I can imagine it probably isn't that easy but I think that is what you have to do. At least she told you now and not a lot closer to the wedding. And at least you still have 5 girls and your mom and FMIL.

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