Macbride's reflection on her - Past, present, and future relationships

How long you got? Not long since you're getting married in 3 DAY!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEE! So exciting!!

I love the reflection honey, I was def doing this last week LOL. Well there were many frogs in my past and one that was not. The few that were, I totally settled. For horrible treatment. At one point I was about to move country for one guy, and I was actually ring shopping and he told me he couldn't take the distance anymore. After 3.5 years and telling me he wanted to marry me. Thanks - could have saved me a fortune in travelling and a ton of sanity (my parents hated him and there were constant battles)... Yeah he was a piece of work. BUT in good news, I learned soooo much about myself in the few years I was single after that relationship, what I wanted and what I didn't. And the next guy I dated was amazing. He was a total doll, BUT more like my best bud/roomate than my boyfriend. Still a wonderful person, but I was still settling, and so was he. And it just was not right. And I was scared of Mark. Scared of his lifestyle, scared of losing a friend and scared of his strength (I know that sounds weird, but he's the closest thing I know to a one-man island and I didn't think he would need me at all) and I was so adamant that was not what I wanted. I was wrong. He is perfect for me - he is strong where I am weak and vice versa. I'm teaching him he can count on someone and he's teaching me to be more independent and I can do alot more than I think I can. :)

Sometimes, you just find everything you want in the strangest place. Like you and Chris, working in a hospital ;) BTW, your friend's little girl is a genius :)

Oh and BTW, read your panic at not having a DOC on sweetleo2's post babe. Delegate the duty to someone - maybe alternate bridesmaids, make it a cousin or close friend not in the bridal party, even give ppl shifts if you don't want to burden one person. But take it off you right now! You can still do it without paying for one :)

I know eh.....bahhhhh I'm so excited now!

Wow, I can't believe that your long-distance guy telling you that he can't take the distance. It's funny that parents sometimes know that a guy isn't right for you. If only we could listen :). I totally agree that we learn so much and really understand what we're looking for (and not!) in a guy. That totally makes sense that we both made lists lol. That's so amazing that you had the wisdom to see that the next guy wasn't right for you and vice versa. I can see why you would be afraid of Mark's lifestyle being in the military. That's amazing that you have had such a positive influence on each other, and you are truly better people for just being together. Yes love is found in the strangest places lol.

Thanks so much for your thoughts about the DOC. That really is the only thing stressing me out right now. I totally agree that I should delegate it to someone else. I have already picked my buffer person (to remove me from not-so-good situations) and I'm going to carry a picture of Chris around :), but ya I will pick a decisive person to make those decisions.

Yes my parents have def known lol. And they both adore Mark, have from the beginning. I quote my mother "there's so much goodness in Mark" - that was from one of her first meetings and I just about bawled lol. yeah I think Mark and I were both a bit apprehensive at first and it took us years to admit we had feelings for each other, but that's history now. And all those things I said I just could not do (military wife, live far from my husband, etc.) I am now doing. And surprisingly to me, I am surviving fairly well LOLOL.

Def pick someone both as buffer and DOC babe. Let yourself relax and enjoy that day. I literally used "don't care" as my fave motto the day of when ppl asked me a question. I do not have an opinion that day. My only goal was to have the best day of my life. So def pick one or two people who can tag team decisions - even if they're tough, they can brainstorm with each other. Or have them go to Chris' parents or yours in an emergency but never to you or Chris.

Awe how sweet of your parents :)! My mom told Chris that she loved him before I did lol. She could see the goodness in him too. You are so strong for being a military wife and I absolutely admire you for that (well and for many other reasons too!).

That's a great idea to have them go to Chris' parents in case of an emergency. They are really level-headed and would know how to handle messy situations. My parents are great too, but would definitely be way more emotional in an emergency.

That's awesome when your family is so welcoming, accepting and love your sig other, isn't it? It is such a nice feeling. My brother - big brother - not emotional - cried welcoming Mark to our family at our wedding. :) Awesome!

Congrats girl - you deserve every happiness!

Great reflection girl. I agree with tash about the buffer.. YOU need it!! I gave my MOH a code signal that if someone was bothering me id just touch my earring a couple of times and shed come over and join in conversation. She was a lifesaver!

My past relationships.

1 very wrong that I was with for 2 years.. he proposed.. I turned it down. Apparently according to everyone I was insane for doing this. I just new that I wasnt going to be happy. I was only 18 at the time. Too fresh and to naive but strong enough to know that I didnt want to be married yet. He wanted kids straight away and I kinda thought my life would be over. If he hadnt proposed I probably would have stayed.

few frogs in between and then i entered my second serious relationship. This one l fell absolutely head over heels. Im talking about dileriously happy for about 20 months and I thought this is it... turns out I was a little blind and too trusting, I started second guessing this after being invited out with the girls and he going out to a pub with the boys. We managed to end up at the same pub and I was talking to a girl that I had just met and she was like theres a total hottie thats flirting blah blah blah. Turns out.. that was my ex. He tried everything to get me back. I moved out... bought my first pair of jimmy choos on his credit card as revenge. He proposed... I considered it... tried to make it work... but it didnt.
However we left on good terms... I still call him one of my closest friends, we were just so young and naive and stupid.

Was single for a few years and dated in between then Hubs and I met.... he invited me out for coffee and he was just the opposite of the typical guy I dated. He filled out all the criteria for me. A gentleman, supportive, strong, independent, caring a listener and hilariously funny. I had met my match.... nearly 3 years later and were hitched!

Best decision ever!

I hope that your day is filled with special moments and Im so glad you met your match. Best of luck hun... you deserve all the happiness that there is in this world. your a sweetheart :) be thinking of you!

Code signals...that's genius. Wow that takes incredible strength to turn down a proposal, at such a young age. Amazing that you had that insight. That's hilarious (well he probably didn't think so) the revenge that you took when you found out your guy was cheating!! Awesome :). That's really nice that you could sort things out and that you still remain close friends. I'm so glad that you were able to see the frogs from the prince that you married :). Thank you so much Charis for your kind words. :)

What a fantastic post!
I def. know where you are coming from with the unhealthy relationships! It makes me shake my head to know that I spent so much time with someone who was so horrible to me!

I will have to post one of these posts sometime soon!

What a great post!! It's always nice to really sit down and reflect, and amaze yourself at how much your life has changed in the past years!! I was in a similar relationship as you...with a guy who also didn't treat me very well. Although it was an awful time in my life, I don't regret it, because it contributed to the person I am today, and I really learned a lot about myself! And it helped me dig deep and see what kind of man I REALLY want to spend the rest of my life with, and I found him!

I am so happy for you that you have done the same, and you've also learned from your past. You deserve a lifetime of happiness, and I believe you and your husband will achieve it together! I wish you the very best on your wedding day, and your future, and good luck with that baby itch - it really gets to ya!

LOL his actual words were when I had purchased it was... how much... told him the price... and he said.. he deserved it.. but could he please have his credit card back. :) Like seriously I look at him now and he turned out to be a really nice guy, just not the guy for me :)

Love your post. It's definitely good to stop and reflect on your past because it is these experiences that made you the person you are today.

That being said...my past...similar to you...I was in a relationship for 4 years with a guy (my "highschool sweetheart") who didn't treat me very well so I ended up breaking it off. It was the HARDEST thing I did up to that point in my life but I'm so incredibly happy I did it, even though he put me through heck for about 8 months until I cut off all communication. I dated a few guys here and there but ultimately I was single for 3 years and that's when I met my FH :) I'm glad I went through what I did because that made me realize what I didn't want.

The present: I feel like we're at a great place in our life. We both have great jobs, finished renovating our house and we are really happy with each other.

The future: I'm not sure what our future will bring but I'm very excited to wait and see!

Eeks! Only 3 dayyys!!!!

aaaah, Christa! You wonderful person. you. :)

I consider myself a very lucky girl and at the same time not. lol. I never had those "Frogs" that most girls did. I knew from a young age that dating was to find the one I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life.

I dated 2 other guys before my fiancé and were for very short periods of time (1 for 1 month, 2nd for 3). Even though they were awesome guys I was always comparing them to my guy. Any other guy really didn't have a chance. lol. I was so darn in love with Dan that no one else ever compared -- and Ryan Reynolds wasn't available at that time. lol. ;)

But we've known each other for almost...get this...20 years!! We've been through more than what some married couples go through and we believe this has prepared us for the long haul. We know what it's like to have a real relationship -- all bumps, ups and downs, a child -- and although it was incredibly tough and we had no idea if we'd even be together in the end -- we pulled through and worked things out and are better people for it. oh goodness, it's tough to swallow that pride and say, "i'm sorry" and communicate. That's one of the most important things...ever.

He encourages me to follow my goals and dreams and he really does make me a better person -- and vice versa. It's an incredible dynamic to have found. We're so happy now and life is pretty darn great. I can't wait to call him my husband. Time goes by so fast and then not fast at all at the same time.

Anyhooie, I'm so excited for you! I can't wait to hear about your big day, sweetie!

Congrats & Cheers!

xoxo

Wow you are all amazing and I loved reading your responses. It was so nice reading how you got to where you are now. I'm sorry, I don't have time to reply with detailed comments, but just know that I think that you are all wonderful too and I'm so happy that we've all found guys that are so great to us.

Great post (I know I am late, but just could'nt resist)
Gosh where do I start, Past- 9yrs ago! He didnt like me, I loved him....treated me like crap....cheated on me with a friend....small town news travel fast...I heard it on the streets...or was it bus....cnt remember....idiot....had to bear a whole year of teasing in high school because of this....parents allowed me to go to university of off town to start afresh....Starting afresh I did....thats where I met my future hubby.....awesome guy...chased after me(unlike the first bfrnd)....he has been the same guy for the past 7yrs...loving. supportive and kind....Glad I went thru what I went bcz otherwise I would never have moved out of town...and met my FH

Future, we would like to keep it "Just the two of us" for the next few years, bcz I still have a few board exams before I say I have made it, and we would also like to do a lot of travelling because I have never been outside Africa...before we extend our family....we both agree that we would love to have two children....when the time is right!