Our Church cancelled!
The Fiance and I were in Marco Island, FL for a nice, long, relaxing vacation together. Getting away from the stress and constant thought in the back of your head that comes along with planning a wedding. Yesterday morning, he sees a missed call, and checks his voicemail. Slowly his head falls into his hands. His ears become red. And I ask "who is it?". He says "it's the Mount....", and I knew something was not right.
The Chapel at Mount Saint Mary's University is a stunningly beautiful chapel. It is the University from where the Fiance graduated. Neither family is from the area, and having our wedding at this chapel is the ONLY reason we were having our wedding and reception far away from either family or home town. When we got engaged, even before we got engaged, I had been talking with the Chapel to get on the waiting list for an open spot at the chapel. It is in such a high demand there are couples who have been on a 2 year waiting list... parents of graduates from the Mount even book dates 3 or 4 years in advance "just in case" their son or daughter will be in a position to get married around that time. So for 3 months, once a week I called to speak with the Chapel. I always spoke with a wonderful lady. Every week she said "nope... still not taking wedding bookings yet. We are deciding if we are going to renovate the chapel. Once we know, I can let you know for sure either way." So in December, I called as usual, and was told "good news! They are not going to do renovations on the chapel, and we have opened our wedding book for the summer of 2010. June 12, 2010 is the only June weekend left, would you like it?" Of course I took the date, and started letting everyone know! We booked the reception, DJ, Limo, Photobooth, flowers, String Quartet, Linens... EVERYTHING is booked and paid for with a 50% deposit that are all non-refundable.
The voicemail that morning said "I'm sorry to say that your date is no longer available, as they have decided to move forward with renovations. All weddings June through August of 2010 and 2011 are now off."
NOW WHAT??? I was fuming!!! What??? Are you serious??? 8 months after we book with the chapel, give them our hefty deposit, and sign a contract... they decide to just cancel our wedding basically. They offered no explanation, no reason for the decision, no suggestion for other options or support in any way. I'm sure there are 6 months worth of couples who are in our position... but I can't help but feel betrayed.
Now we have a wedding that is halfway paid for, in a city that means nothing to us unless the wedding itself takes place in the church that means everything to us. Now our wedding will take place in some random church, or worse, outside somewhere.
We are so lost, and have no idea what to do. We can't possibly afford to just drop all of our deposits and move the entire wedding back down to Washington, DC where we are from. Part of me wants to make the Mount pay for all of the money we'd have to lose so that we can move our wedding to a place that would mean something to us... is that wrong to want them to fix what they've ruined?
After I stop being angry, I realize that I won't get to walk down that aisle. I won't be able to let the train of my dress drape down those steps, and the strings won't echo through the rafters of this beautiful church. Its so sad, and I didn't realize how much I loved this place until now! Everything was centered around this church.
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Something blue... shoes
So with this post I'll kill two birds with one stone...
I am searching for my bridal shoes which will also be blue, my something blue. I'm going for a very 1950's feel with the dress so I want the same in my shoes. I'd LOVE a pump with a big bow on the front or back! I've looked at dyable shoes, some are cute... but most don't quite meet the vision I have in my head.
So I ask, what are you ladies using as your something blue???
As well as... where are you finding great shoes?
Anyone else out there also looking for blue shoes?
the pictures are some that I like, either already blue or dyable.
We got our engagement pictures back!
Rodney Cool, owner of Aesthetic Life Studio is AMAZING.
Anyone in the Maryland, DC, Virginia, or PA area really need to look into his work. He has a fantastic ability to make you LOOK GOOD. And really... isn't that what we are all looking for when it comes to our wedding photos?
We mentioned in passing to him, that we'd love the idea of having a love seat sitting in a field. So we show up to our session, and he has gone out and bought a love seat! He had his brother come to help him lug that thing around the mountains of PA and was able to turn our engagement session into an awesome, non traditional shoot.
We love the photos. Black and white, color... they are all great and we can't decide which to use for our Save the Date!
What do you think? Favorites?
Bridesmaid Backed out!!!
Has this happened to anyone? Help!
So... the same day I am deciding on which dress for my bridesmaids I get a text from one saying she didn't think she wanted to be in the wedding.
After a long conversation she said that she just doesn't feel as close to me as we used to be (about 3 months ago). 3 months ago I asked her to be in my wedding. She said yes and even said she was hurt for a little while b/c she thought I just didn't want her to be in the wedding... rather than me just wanting to wait until the right time to ask all of my girls at once. (It took me that long to get them all together at the same time). So now here we are... and she wants out. We are both very busy. We've known eachother for about 3 years now. We used to work together, and we used to have more free time when we both worked from home. We played kickball together, then she quit. I'll admit I haven't gone out of my way to say no to my parents, or other obligations so that I could have more time to hang out with this bridesmaid... but I didn't realize that our lack of time to hang out was this big of a deal to her. Mind you, she hasn't been sending me emails, or calls wanting to make plans. She said she "wanted me to want to see her". I figured she knew I was busy, every time I asked when she was free, I was busy... and vice versa.
Needless to say this is somewhat of a shock. But in hindsight this is the girl who has been giving me the most trouble with the dresses. She has complaints about everything, and is always kind of jealous and snooty when i talk about the wedding. She always asks to try on my engagement ring (eeek!) and when I say no it's bad luck she gets upset.
So what do I do now? She says she hopes we can get our friendship back to where it was but she doesn't think she feels comfortable being in my wedding. She wants to just act like nothing ever happened. She wants to still come to the wedding to "celebrate in the day" and is still "thrilled for the fiance and me". It's not a big deal or a huge argument. She just backed out, and said it was b/c we werent as close as we used to be.
So do I continue to hang out with her? Do I go out of my way to make plans to see her? At this point I feel like if she's going to back out on me, then why would I re-arrange my life to be able to "become close" with her again... especially if she's already out of the wedding! And do I still invite her to the wedding? How do I do this... where do I go from here?
Thoughts?!?!?!?! Ladies... has this happened to you??? HELP!
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Possible bridesmaids dresses... which do you like?
I have four bridesmaids, all with a very big range in size, preference, and price they are willing to spend on a dress. I will be doing my best to find a dress that works with their shapes and prices, but preference in style or color I'm going to leave up to my own opinion! (hope that's not rude, but when I am their bridesmaid I'll just smile with whatever they decide).
So here are some of the dresses I'm liking...
First three pics are from David's. These are the lowest priced dresses I can find that I even remotely like. I really love the Champagne color.
The fourth picture is from Eden Maids, also rather inexpensive. I like the yellow sash some days, I don't like it others. Can't make up my mind.
The 5th picture is my favorite dress by far. it is made by Bill Levkoff. It is a great gold/champagne color. Very elegant. It has a great "party dress" feel to it, which is what I'm looking for with our 1950's feel. But it is about $75 more than what one of my bridesmaids is willing to spend. So if the other 3 girls can convince her that she's been out voted i'll be fine with it. (** please notice I'm using the word "willing" to spend rather than "able" to spend).
Which dress do you like best?
Man of Honor!
I will be having 4 bridesmaids, but my Maid of Honor will actually be my "Man of Honor". My brother, John. He's three years younger than me, and has always been "my baby". Even when my mother was expecting, I would point to her belly and say "that's my baby in there". The poor child always had two mothers to answer to. He's my best friend, I love him to death, and so there is no one better to stand next to me as I marry the OTHER man of my dreams ;)
We're going dress shopping today! I actually already have a small deposit down on a dress that I do like a lot. But the fabric is not the best and the dress looks rather "cheap" now that I see it. So we are going to try on some different ones today that I'm sure to love even better. I guess I rushed to a decision without trying on enough dresses. Plus.. last time it was just Mom and me... this time the MOH will be there too!
(I'll post some pictures of this dress shopping day, but I'll have to leave out THE DRESS as my Fiance is a bit of a snooper!)
Wish me luck!
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First Dance Song... what are you using?
The fiance and I haven't really needed to decide on our first dance song yet. And we still have a year to figure it out. But I'm a big time planner, and really like to have everything set.
"our song" is Jason Mraz "I'm Yours". It's great, its ours, and we both love it. We sing it out loud in the car whenever it's on. It's nice because its not too lovey dovey, but its about love. The problem with this song is it sounds tropic almost, very summery. We are having a very traditional reception, formal. I'll be in a nice big 1940's style dress. And to me this song seems too trite for this first dance moment.
I like these classic songs as well...
"Come Rain or Come Shine"
"The Way You Look Tonight"
"At Last" (Fiance's choice, I think it's over done)
"Someone Like You"
"It Had to be You"
Then there's always a country favorite (in honor of my country roots)
"Forever and Ever Amen" Randy Travis
What are you ladies using for your first dance song? Maybe I can find some inspiration...
Because I haven't done one of these since high school...
How long did you date before you got engaged?
Did you get the ring you wanted?
it's perfect, I love it and it is "the one"
Was the proposal a complete surprise?
not really ;) I knew it was coming. I thought he would do it in front of the National Christmas tree on the Mall in DC, but he did it on the street right in front of where we met as soon as we parked the car... he couldn't wait. So that part was surprising.
Did you cry when he proposed?
I called my mom right away, and cried then. it's almost like it didn't seem real until I talked to her.
Where do you want to go for your honeymoon?
Are you buying his wedding band for him?
Yep, and he already picked it out. I have it and I'm paying for it.
Have you gone over your original wedding budget?
What day of the year will your wedding be?
Saturday June 12, 2010
What kind of weather?
late spring, almost summer... it will feel like summer but not too muggy or hot. perfect June wedding
Inside or outside?I
Inside the church for ceremony and inside the hotel for reception
Church/justice of the peace/other?
How many people will be there?
Time of day?
4:00 pm ceremony
How many bridesmaids? Who would they be?
My "Man of Honor" will be my brother.
My 4 bridesmaids will be friends of mine from childhood, high school, college and adult/work life. One from every point of my life. Perfect!
What kind of cake/what will it look like?
3 tier, round cake. Yellow butter cream frosting with thinly piped white viney flowers. 2 flavors... Strawberry short cake with fresh strawberries (to die for), and Lemon Chambord with raspberry filling (knock your socks off). Topper will be bunches of white hydrangeas.
Where will you have the reception?
Liberty Resort Lodge in Carroll Valley, PA
What kind of dress will you have/color/material?
Oh Lord... don't get me started. I have always seen myself in a fitted, strapless, mermaid dress with buttons down the back. I have tried "the dress" on that matches this request. Then I tried on a new dress... with a big 1950's collar that goes off the shoulders, it is A line with a Chapel length train. Very thinning, very gorgeous. Now I have no idea which one I want. Either one would change the feel to the wedding for me. TBD for now...
What kind of flowers in your bouquet?
pinky/peach David Austin cabbage roses, about 30 of them bunched together, hand tied with ivory ribbon. Very vintage looking bouquet
Kind of wedding bands?
my band is thin with diamonds 3/4 of the way around to match my engagement ring in white gold. His is also white gold "brushed metal" very simple.
How will you wear your hair?
low, side bun with bangs swept to one side. Big flower behind my ear. BIRDCAGE VEIL!!!!
Will the reception be big or small??
100 guests, I guess that is average. though it seems to be small compared to some of today's over the top weddings.
What will the groom wear?
Tan suit with champagne color tie and suspenders.
How old will you and the groom be?
I will have just turned 26, he will be turning 28 soon after
How long will you be engaged before you get married?
Live together before or wait till married?
we met in April, moved in together in November. So by the time we are married we would have been living together for one year and 8 months.
Take a long time to plan the wedding or will it be simple?
It didn't take me too long to plan, we have EVERYTHING booked for our wedding. From the cake to the DJ to the Photobooth. Invitations are picked out, photographer is decided on. NOW its just a matter of saving the money for it. It is not a simple wedding though it is not by any means over the top. right in the middle of the road I'd say.
Will you do it yourself or with family or hire someone to plan the wedding?
My fiance and I are planning our own wedding and paying for it. I am the one who has most of the creative decisions though.
Will you write your own vows or use something pre-made?
We are saying the most traditional vows there are.... "I maggie, take you David to be my husband. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better or for worse...." Waited forever to say THOSE words.
Our reception venue
Here are a few pictures of our reception site. This is a great, open, light filled space. The layout is nice and simple, and it works so well for a wedding. Everything has it's place from the cake table, to the sweetheart table, to the DJ, to the photo booth and bar.
Anyway, the reception is at Liberty Resort's Alpine Room. Ski Liberty Resort is in Carroll Valley, PA right on the Maryland border. It's kind of a rural area so there are not many choices for wedding venues. Their food is fantastic, the open bar is pretty good. The wedding planners there are very friendly, and are always willing to help. For every question I've had, their answer always seems to be "yes" or "sure we can do that!".
Right now they are doing renovations to the room. It won't look anything like it looks now. They are getting rid of the white! Yay for no white walls! The walls will have wooden paneling to look more like a ski resort (which it is). The carpet will be a chocolate brown color (which goes perfectly with my green and brown colors). The windows will actually be BIGGER and give in more light. It will have more earth tones over all, browns, oranges, cream colors. It'll be great!
So exciting! I can't wait!!!! We have an entire year to go! June 12, 2010 here we come!
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Dealing with bridesmaids, and finding the right dress
So I don't usually feel the need to Ask a question, but when I have in the past I've gotten some great advice. Let me ask this... how have you been handling the tricky money question (if it has even come up) with your bridesmaids? Here's my situation...
I have 4 bridesmaids, one Man of Honor (my brother is my MOH). So my brother will just wear the same suit as the guys, but a different tie to match the girls. I would prefer for my girls to all have the same color dress. The trick here is, I'm very picky it seems, and I want them to order the exact same color of dress from the same designer so that the fabric is the same. I wouldn't mind the look of different styles. Although there is still a part of me (that part who has watched Father of the Bride once a week since I was 12), who would like to see my bridal party in the same dress. Either way, I'm not willing to have the girls go buy a "yellow dress" on their own and hope it looks good. Luckily, I have great girls! They are all willing to wear "whatever dress" I pick out. Great! But not really. It's going to be hard to accommodate each girl's needs/requests.
Girl #1, is tiny. I'm talking she might be a size 0. And we'd have to have it taken in. No bust either. So finding a dress that fits her is going to be hard. But she has no "preference" and is always saying I need to just pick what I want her to wear and she'll do it. She hasn't mentioned price of dress, but I know she'd like to stay under $200
Girl #2, has a great 1950's pin up figure. She's got requests. She's known me the longest and wants me to be happy with whatever I pick out. She also, has no problems with the cost of the dress. She asked to stay under $300.
Girl #3, also has a great figure, but has a large bust. So I need to be careful in that area. She's not a millionaire (figuratively speaking) and I know she would struggle to spend more than $100 on a dress. The thing with girl #3 is, I know she would just spend what she had to without saying a word. She wouldn't pay a bill that month to buy the dress, and I'd never hear a word from her. This makes me want to help purchase her dress for her.
Girl #4, is the a similiar shape to girl #3, hippy in areas as well. But will look great in all of the styles I have my eye on. The problem here is that she has come out and said "I'm willing to spend $100 for the dress, maybe a little more like $120 if its a great dress". I have taken this into consideration and have been searching high and low for a dress that fits these standards:
1. is under $100
2. is flattering to all the girls
3. is even in a line of dresses that has a $100 dress so that the girls could choose their own dress if they wanted to but in the same fabric
4. is something I might actually like to see in my own wedding.
I haven't been able to do it. Even David's Bridal doesn't have a gown I like for less than $130.
WHAT DO I DO????????? I want to make sure I keep everyone happy, including my own taste in dresses. If I could find a good dress for $100 I'd say lets buy it. But I can't! I've looked high and low, it seems impossible. So how do I go about dress shopping with my girls. We are all going together next month and it's going to be difficult to make sure girl #4 stays calm. Girl #4 is not rich, but she makes as much as I do. And I know she has less bills than I do... therefore I am certian she can afford a $150 to $175 dress. I'm not going overboard on price... $175 is the highest price dress i like! So I'm not asking her to spend $300 bucks here... just $175. I am torn because girl $3 is really happy for me, and would just buy the dress. I want to help her under cover and not let anyone else know b/c I know its a lot of money for her. But girl #4 is not as supportive with the wedding, she's not engaged herself and I know its bothering her. I just didn't expect her to come out and say "i'm not spending more than $100" even before I started talking about dresses. So I'm not as willing to help pay the balance for her dress.
What would you do? What have you done? And what do you think I should do?