This is mekana's Blue Wedding!

Originally my fiance and I were supposed to have a destination wedding this month in Hawaii. Something came up so we decided to not do it. We didn't buy our tickets so it wasn't that big of a deal for us cost wise, we just need to redo our planning. Anyways, my best friend/maid of honor and her boyfriend were the only 2 people who bought their tickets. I couldn't understand why she had to buy them before we did, but whatever. Since we had the change in plans we of course were going to pay them back for their tickets since they were only going for us (which was specifically said by her). Right away I emailed her about our situation about why we're changing the location, and that we will be paying her back. She and I talked about it and came to the agreement that my fiance and I were going to pay the difference for them to take the trip at a later time (which was about half of their original ticket). Turns out they went to Hawaii at the time they first bought the tickets for. I'm obviously going to have to discuss this with her once again but now what are my obligations for what we pay back? Are they the same? I'm not trying to get out of paying her back, it's just she disregarded our first arrangement without discussing it or even just letting me know. I didn't know she left for Hawaii, I didn't know she came back. I knew nothing of this trip until I saw her pictures on myspace right now. Not sure if any of this makes a difference, that's why I'm asking. I'm just irritated with this whole situation.

If you're not having a weekday wedding, if you've ever attended one what time was it at?

We don't have much of one. We're only 6 days apart, he's older.

This is kind of hard to explain since I can't mention every single thing that has been said, or the way its said. And things are always different when someone is talking about it. You'd have to actually be there. So I'll do my best.

Ever since I’ve started planning my wedding, naturally I’d go to my best friend and share some of my ideas with her. I made sure that I didn’t share everything so I didn’t bore or annoy her with so many details, but I did go to her every now and then.

I’ve just recently realized though, every single one of my ideas I’ve told her about she has been against. I’m not saying she has to like all my ideas, but she tells me I should get rid of something or do something differently that is really an important part of the look we’re going for (example: We’re having a Hawaiian wedding and she told me maybe I should get rid of the leis). I don’t know why she’s so against everything. I share my ideas with other people and they tell me they like them and actually show enthusiasm for it. All she does is tell me she doesn’t like it; no suggestions on how to change it or reason why she doesn’t like it (even after I ask, she just says "I don't know")

The only thing I can think of is she’s jealous. And the only reason I would think that is because when my fiancé and I first got together she was jealous of that. She actually told me she was bitter of the fact that I was in a relationship and she wasn’t. But even that doesn’t really make sense to me because I know she doesn’t want to get married till she’s at least 25 (she’s almost 22 now). So I don’t know what it is.

I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t want to share anything with her anymore (that goes for other aspects of my life as well), I’d rather have someone else as my maid of honor, and I’ve accepted the fact that she and I may be drifting apart.

Am I looking too much into this, or is there really something there such as jealousy or anything else?

I also have something to mention about her and my wedding dress, I just don’t know how to say it without coming across conceded. Lets just say I’m having a mermaid styled dress, I have an hourglass figure, and she’s not exactly under the same category as me when it comes to weight and body type even though we’re the same height. If you knew me, you’d know that anything that has to do with the looks of other people mean nothing to me, and that I especially do not like talking about myself.


Some background on us. We met in the 4th grade. She moved to another state in the 6th grade. We saw each other once a year till graduation. She always had a boyfriend, I didn't (I've had 3, my fiancé being the 3rd). Going along with the dress thing, she was always the one who tried to eat right, fat free foods, etc. I never did. She was usually the one too busy to talk as much as I was able to (which was fine),

Example: A siblings spouse, sibling, parent, etc


For my fiancé and I, it's his brother's wife. She's "nice" to your face but has this "I'm better than you" attitude. And because of that (I guess it's a good thing, just rude) she's never at any of their family gatherings and always has some lame excuse. So the good thing about her never showing up, we hope she won't actually show up to our wedding! Extremely rude but it's better than wasting money and a seat on her. At some point we were even considered just not inviting her. Some background on my relationship with her and her family. My family has known her family longer than her husband has even known her. Before I was even born (she's about 13 years older than me) her family used to rent out an apartment that was owned by my grandparents. And even more than just that, her family was "friends" with my family. So, when they got married SHE only invited my grandmother and not my grandfather JUST because he didn't have the same beliefs as her. How rude is that? Maybe it just bothers me because it's my family, but either way I do not like her. Actually, no one really does.

These weren't my first choice because originally I wanted them to look like boarding passes. But, I was going to make those myself and now I really don't want to put that much effort into just save the dates. So I decided to go with vistaprint.com like so many of you because they're cheap and I know I like the way their products come out. I just don't know which design I like the most. There are a few that I like but don't like the colors so I don't know which to go with.

I like # 5 but I don't care for the colors.
And # 7 is my favorite but I don't know about the shot.

We broke up back in 02 (stupid teenagers) and since then he’s contacted me 3 times. The first time we got into an argument, the second we “caught up” a little (told each other we were in a relationship and for how long, that was it), and the third is this (which was a couple of months ago):

Everyday for 2 weeks straight HE messaged me.

So we started to catch up. I told him I was engaged and he said he was happy for me. I asked how he and his girlfriend were doing and all he said was good. Then a few days later he tells me he’s going to propose to his girlfriend. I found that a little odd because it didn’t seem like he was even serious about her since he never talked about her unless I brought her up and then changed the subject right away. But I just thought whatever, who am I to think anything. So I ignored it. I was happy for him and wanted to know the details of how and when. Being a bit of a girly girl I guess and in the whole wedding mood.

Then he asks if I want to see the ring he bought her. I said sure! And he emailed me a picture. I told him it was nice, not my style, but nice. He seemed disappointed that I didn’t like it.

He would sometimes brag about working out like I was supposed to be impressed and tried to get me to call him cute.

The day before he was going to propose we were talking about how he was going to do it and where. He had to make sure I KNEW it was the next day by asking; “You do know I’m asking her tomorrow, right?” I said yeah and again he seemed disappointed.

He told me I was boring for always doing some sort of wedding planning but would constantly mention how he was going to propose and then after he did, mention something about his actual wedding.

Actually being interested, I asked him what made him realize he wanted to marry his girlfriend. So he says, “Some things you just know.” Nothing wrong with that answer. I told him that was sweet. Then he asks me the same thing. I gave a longer answer because things just kept coming to me. I mentioned how my fiancé was the only guy I could picture myself with in the future. That he’s the only person I could see myself having a family with, buying a home with, traveling with, growing old with, and that I’m happier in general. I spoke from my heart. Ten minutes go by and not a word from him. Finally he says “oh” and that’s it. Another 10 minutes goes by and he signs off without saying goodbye like he always did.

A few weeks go by and he hasn’t messaged me (HA HA!). So I decide to message him and ask how his wedding plans were coming along and if they’ve set a date yet. Took him a few minutes to respond and he said, “They’re coming” and then gave two possible dates. We talked about that for a little then I asked where they planned on going for their honeymoon. He said either Las Vegas or a cruise. I said they both should be really fun and he says, “Yeah, should be.” Then he mentions how he doesn’t have any TIME to look up prices for the cruise, I knew that was BS but ignored it. The reason why I knew it wasn’t true is because whenever he’s at work, 95% of the time he has nothing to do. He spends his work time watching TV and going online/talking to me on the internet. Next I asked him how he spends his time when he’s not working (because he works nights). All he does is go to the movies and spend time at the mall. No time huh?

After this not only does he stop talking to me, he stopped coming online altogether (I could care less if he contacted me in the first place). Just thought I’d share this with people. It makes me laugh.

Maybe I should mention that even when I was with him I didn't really want to be with him. Horrible I know, but thats how I felt even back then.

I ran out of things to post for now so I thought I'd start asking more questions =)


For me it would also have to be celebrating with friends and family, and seeing how all my hard work and planning turns out.

First, we pushed back our wedding date from this August to next spring because a lot of our guests were unable to attend our DW (understandable). So we decided to have it in our home state and with the wedding date approaching we pushed it back to give us more time to re-plan everything. We want them there so it’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make, we just don’t want to keep waiting to FINALLY be married. Having to wait is what killed me.

Second, my fiancé lost his job because some guy decided to lie and say he was stealing money from the company. He’s fired but there is no real proof of him doing anything wrong.

Third, my fiancé’s father convinces his mother that I’m a bad person so she decides she doesn’t want to pay for the wedding anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, we were planning on paying for the wedding ourselves and never expected her to pay for anything. BUT, she’s the one who insisted on paying for it and didn’t want us to worry about it, which is what we were doing.

Fourth, 2 groomsmen dropped out so now we need to find 2 more. One just didn’t want to be in it, the other pretty much dropped off the face of the earth (the best man, some “friend” huh?). I know we can have an uneven wedding party but I have a thing with numbers (apart of my OCD).

Fifth, today I find out, with no known reason, my fiancé’s mother decides to cancel her Hula class. They were supposed to dance for us at our LUAU reception. I’m extremely annoyed with this because she would nag the dancers to be at practice and if they want to dance they need to be devoted to it. AND they just ordered new costumes a couple of months ago that they only used once. Then all of a sudden she cancels the class. I guess I'm bugged by this because her class is what brought my fiancé and I together in the first place.

Sixth, my fiancé’s father doesn't want him to marry me because I'm a "bad person" and is always talking about me behind my back. I've never given him ANY reason for him to not like me but he just thinks things and convinces himself its true. At least my fiancé stands up for me. This ruins something I wanted to include in the wedding ceremony which was a "Lei Exchange" with our parents. Its a symbol of accepting the person in the family. How can I do that to someone who doesn't even want me as apart of his family?


There are more, this is just what I have right now. I’m really annoyed and stressed out about everything. I know it’s not the end of the world and things could be so much worse and I probably shouldn't even be complaining, but still! Wedding planning is stressful in itself. Plus, I stress out really easily. I don't know, I'm probably just over reacting.

We are both American and we are both of mixed ethnicity. I'm Japanese and Mexican and my fiancé is Puerto Rican and Filipino. Neither of us is really in touch with our heritage, but we would still like to show that we value our ethnic backgrounds. Originally we had planned on adding traditional customs to our wedding, but we didn't really like anything specific. Instead we've decided to just add cultural tones into our wedding. For my Japanese side I was thinking something with origami, but for my Mexican side I'm still lost. For his Puerto Rican side we were thinking of doing a Salsa dance as a part of our first dance, but unsure about what to do for the Filipino side. I'm still trying to find things that we might like to add. Any ideas or suggestions?

I should also add that we're having a few Japanese and Filipino dishes in the buffet but would like something to include other than food.

And, I know adding that many different cultures may look out of place so we're not looking for anything elaborate. Simple is good, just to include that small touch of each particular culture.


I'm loving the ideas though. So thank you!

First thing I did right after he proposed was set up our wedding site. I used ewedding.com and I love how everything turned out. It was so simple to make. I'm still very excited about it, even (exactly) 7 months later.

I really love the idea of a wedding site and I love looking at other people's wedding sites.


www.MeganWedsTommy.com

Yesterday I went to a High School Graduation for one person but then realized that someone else I knew was graduating with him too. Anyways, that second person is the daughter of one of my mom’s friends, who just got married this past May. I was joking with my fiancé while we were at the graduation saying can you imagine being her husband (22) and someone asks “So what does your wife do for a living?’ “Nothing yet. She’s still in high school.” Or “What are you doing tonight?” “I’m going to my wife’s high school graduation.” Even though he probably wouldn’t mention the high school part but you get the point.

I only know one other person who was married while being in high school (but that was over 30 years ago when she did it) so this was just a bit of a shock.

Yeah thats true about people doing it years ago, but things are so different now.

Just to clarify, I'm not talking about getting engaged in high school or at a young age, I knew a lot of people who did that. But actually getting married while still in high school. I'm not saying it won't work because I have no way of knowing that.

Pix 1: A lei making station. I went to a Luau in Hawaii when I was 10 and this is one of the things I really remembered. We'll be already giving leis to our guests, but I thought the kids would have fun making some.

Pix 2: Foam Magnet Craft kit

Pix 3: Foam Surfboards to decorate how they want

Pix 4: Magic Color Rainbow scratcher

Pix 5: Bubbles

Pix 6: Stickers to create their own "Aquarium"

Everything will be packaged in brightly colored bags with their individual names.


1 found at www.alohafriends.com
2 thru 7 found at www.orientaltrading.com


We're expecting around 15 kids

After the ceremony, while we're having our photos taken, we wanted to have a few things available to our guests so they don't get bored.

-Photo booth (maybe)
-Guest book (not just one where you sign your names)
-Slide show of pictures of when we were kids and of us together

I still have no idea how to decorate the reception!

Best Man
Kevin- Tommy's Best Friend

Groomsmen
Micheal- Our Friend
Paul (Michael's younger Bro)- Our Friend (He's too difficult to get a picture of!)
Rigo- Our Friend
Brandon- Our Friend
Herman- Our Friend

Maid of Honor
Marissa- My Best Friend since the 4th grade

Bridesmaids
Corinne- My Closest Cousin
Vanessa- Tommy's Sister
Roslyn- Our Friend
Eunice (Roslyn's younger Sis)- Our Friend
Andrina- My school Friend since Kindergarten

I love these. I'd rather use these than regular stamps but we'll see. I might not care when it comes time to needing them.

I came across these pictures while looking for things for my wedding and saved them so I can show my photographer.

Pix 4: I would also like one with the groomsmen carrying me.

Pix 6: I thought this one was cute because it reminds me of how when we kiss my cousin and one of our friends always make a big deal out of it.

Pix 7 and 8: Aren't that clear because I had to take a picture of the computer screen because they were on a photographers website.

Pix 8: I thought would be nice since our wedding location has arches just like it.

Pix 9: Rather than saying "Thank You" it's going to say "Mahalo"

Their names will be in English and in Hawaiian like the 3rd picture.


Mekana (Megan)
Kome (Tommy/Thomas)

We’ve decided to have a candy buffet. No one we know (about 10 couples in the past 3 years alone have gotten married) has had one so even though they’re very popular right now, it’ll be new to all of our guests. I also really want to give “Lauhala Boxes” to go with our theme. So we’re having both.

As for the kids, I was hoping to get them “Lilo and Stitch” Coloring books but I can’t seem to find any. So instead I’ll make them one by printing coloring pages I've found online. Then of course crayons to color with. And also a stuffed animal Honu turtle.

I'm curious to know how many of you are marrying someone that was your best friend before dating.

I realize these "Soon to be" and "Future" t-shirts won't apply to me after I'm married but I can't help it. I'm just too excited! I haven't bought them yet, I was just playing around with it. I'm changing the colors on the tank top one.


I made these on www.customizedgirl.com

Well I do and I'm in the wedding section a lot usually to find suggestions and ideas on things that would relate to my wedding, and of course to answer some questions. Anyways, I can't believe how rude most of those people are! Because of them (I'm probably going to stop using it very soon) I've developed this defensive attitude towards my wedding because they're always knocking things they don't like. So generally when I join these wedding sites I sound like a huge jerk because I feel all wedding people are going to be that rude and put down my ideas (makes you wonder why I keep joining huh). I know it isn't true though. When I came on here I was kind of expecting it to be the same way, but its not which is so nice! I'm not saying everyone has to like my ideas because everyone has different interests and tastes, but at least you guys aren't rude about it. I don't know what those people are so angry about. I guess this is more to vent then anything else.

To them since I'm having a themed/inspired wedding that means my wedding will look childish.


Oh and even on theknot.com in some of the boards those women are extremely rude. I wasn't on there for very long.

They're not professional but my Best Friend (and MOH) is into photography as a hobby and wanted to take them for us, which means they're extra special. She flew all the way from Seattle Washington (we live in California) to help do some planning and take these pictures for us! She's awesome. Gotta love her!

(these are unedited)

The plan is to visit 6 of the Hawaiian Islands for a month long honeymoon. We may however just stick to 2 or 3, not sure yet. We would really like to visit all 6 but i know it'll be a bit exhausting. I get tired just thinking about it, haha, but I really want to anyways! So we'll see.

The Big Island, Maui, Lanai, Molokai, Oahu, Kauai

One of the Junior Bridesmaids will be Tommy's one and only niece and the other is a friend of the family (her younger brother is also a Junior Groomsmen and their younger sister is our flower girl. I thought a flower girl would be cute but didn't want to ONLY include her and not her siblings)


Designer of the Junior Bridesmaid dress is Forever Yours