07/13/2011
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Bridesmaids
First BIG wedding debate!! HELP!!!

FH and I are having our first big debate over the wedding! So far he has been so helpful and completly supportive UNTIL it came time to discuss our wedding party. I want a only a few BM and GM because 1.I read the drama stories some of you girls are going through 2. Since we are paying for dresses and tux I think we need to keep it a small number to cut down on cost and 3. I don't have a lot of girl friends that I would want standing next to me on my big day. My FH has 2 older brother and like 5 best friends that he insists on having as his grooms men. That makes a total of 7! And I think that is too many for our type of ceremony. I don't understand why he doesn't have just his two older brother as GM and just invite the best friends. I am an only child so I don't have a built in bridesmaid so my MOH is my very dear best friend and my other BM is my cousin. So far I only have two while he wants 7! I know we don't have to have the exact same number but 7 and 2 is quite a big difference! I am kind of close with one of my FH cousin but I feel a little weird asking her to be in my bridal party. HELP!!
bridesmaids, groomsmen, bridal party, wedding
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futuremrslilley's Pink wedding
futuremrslilley
 |  London, ON, Canada  |  07/13/2011
Hmmm, This is a tricky one. talk to him again and tell him that you want the people who stand up on your side to mean something to you, Keeping it to his two brothers would be perfect for you AND then he doesn't have to choose between his 5 best friends. Make one of them the MC or something?
kristah's Green wedding
kristah
 |  Langley, BC, Canada  |  07/13/2011
could he have some be ushers?
7 is a lot, especially if you are going to be paying for them.
We ended up only have 1 attendant each, it was either that or 6-7 each... we wouldn't have even been able to fit up front in the chapel! lol.
yuandmi's Blue wedding
yuandmi
 |  Toronto, ON, Canada  |  07/13/2011
I'm with Kristah, ushers' responsibilities for his friends. I was in the same situation, but my hubby said whatever I want. We made one our MC, another helped with live video for my parents, and to the rest we've just given bouts and said how we appreciate them. People understand.
Now, you just have to make your fiance understand, right :)
penguinsinlove's Purple wedding
penguinsinlove
 |  Glendale heights, IL, USA  |  07/13/2011
My co-worker had this exact problem - she is an only child, her husband is from a big family and has tons of friends. She had 4 bridesmaids (originally 5 but one dropped out) and he had 9. He just kept adding people! At a point she just shrugged and decided that the sides didn't have to match.

But if you want matching sides, I agree with everyone else: ask him to have the brothers be groomsmen and give the rest other responsibilities. I am lucky that FH's three sisters had no interest in standing in our wedding (my FSIL kind of ruined them on being bridesmaids with her behavior as a bride earlier this year) so we told my brother that he could be MC and that took care of the lone "extra" amongst us. :)
brittneyx's Pink wedding
brittneyx
 |  Welland, ON, Canada  |  07/13/2011
I would try to convince him to change his mind.  weigh out a list of pros and cons and make him realize how much of a difference in expenses it will be with 2 people compared to 5.  He could even have the 2 brothers be the GM and have the friends as ushers.
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