01/16/2011
Black Ask a Question Family problem with my Dad??
   

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Family problem with my Dad??

Hey ladies, I need some advice. I haven't talked to my dad since August because we had a falling out about my wedding. Basically (long story short) he has not been a father for a while, and when I asked for money to help with my wedding, he told me he didn't have the money, which was fine. Then he said he doesn't know if he can even come (I live in Florida and he lives in Illinois where I grew up) because he doesn't have the money and if he does that he will come to walk me down the aisle and then have to leave. At that point, I just told him not to even bother coming.

On a better note, I have an uncle who has been AMAZING to me my whole life and he's offered to walk me down if my father doesn't make it. Then a few weeks ago my Mom, who has raised me and been my rock and best friend my whole life, asked me, "Why can't I give you away, I'm the one that's been there for you since day one." I was actually surprised and glad she asked me, but she said if I want my uncle to give me away that would be a blessing too. I don't know what to do??? What do you girls think? Also, if I walk down with my mom, do you ladies think "Mama's song" by Carrie Underwood would be appropriate? Or should I let my uncle and my mom give me away and stick to my original song, "somewhere over the rainbow?"

Thanks girl, looking forward to your comments!!!
questions, ceremony, need help, mom, music
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dd977chic's Black wedding
dd977chic
 |  Deltona, FL, USA  |  01/16/2011
have both your mom and uncle walk you down. :)

Sorry to hear about your dad. If a father says he would just have to walk u down the aisle and just leave, this makes me think he is testing you and probably wanting u to beg for him to come, which is some weird way will validate for him that you care for him. If its really important for him to be there, tell him it would mean alot to you for him to come even if he drives all night, stays at a motel 6 and leave the next day.
lakevermilionchick's Orange wedding
lakevermilionchick
 |  Ely, MN, USA  |  01/16/2011
I have a situation like this sort of. My Dad has never been there for me until he was recently remarried and his wife is pushing for him to be part of my life. The only difference is my Mom my best friend and the most important person in my life passed away less than a year and a half ago.  I was going to have her walk me down the aisle.  Then my step-dad who has always been there for me was going to do it and he passed away in August.  Now my Grandmother who I take care of is dying also.  So needless to say our wedding has been postponed again, because I am just too sad.  Ok enough with my story my point is if you and your mom are that close please have her do it, it is such an honor.  Mama's song is a great idea.  Follow your heart not what everyone else tells you to do.  If I were you I would count your Dad out if he is putting so much guilt on you.  If he wanted to be there he would save money somehow.
mrsbrimer11's Black wedding
mrsbrimer11
 |  Lake city, FL, USA  |  01/16/2011
Thank you so much for the feedback! It's soo hard, and he's distanced himself from his entire family, who will all be here too! His parents (my Gma and Gpa) told me he wouldn't have to pay anything to come down if he'd just come! I even wrote him a heartfelt 4 page letter telling him how I felt, and I've got no response at all!!! So I think I will have my mom!

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses :-( that is awful! I just can't even imagine what it would feel like to lose my mom! We are sooooo close and She's been my world!!!! Good luck with everything and keep your head high.
lampebride's Pink wedding
lampebride
 |  Belleville, IL, USA  |  01/17/2011
Ashley, I think having your Mom walk you down the aisle would be perfect.  You and I are in a similar situation (except I didn't know the story about your Dad, I'm so sorry!).  I am probably having my Mom walk me down the aisle.  I know your Mom and it would probably mean a lot to her if she could walk you down the aisle.  I am sure she wouldn't have her feelings hurt if you chose yor uncle but I think you should have your Mom.  

I love "Mama's Song" too but  think I am having my Mom dance with Matt to it instead of having a father/daughter dance at the reception.  

It's crappy that your Dad is being like this over your wedding, but if that is the attitude he is taking then I think your probably better off not having him there at all.
mrsbrimer11's Black wedding
mrsbrimer11
 |  Lake city, FL, USA  |  01/17/2011
Amber,
It's been a very hard situation for me! You know I've been close to both parents, even considering all I've been through with my dad! But in the end, I always have my mom and I can't be more blessed!

Miss you and hope your planning is going great!! Xxoo
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