Wedding Problems

I feel as though my wedding is going to shambles

I have to get this out, because I feel as though if I don't, I'll crumble. Which I really think that i've aleady have. We originally had everything together for the wedding. We knew where it was going to be, and we knew what was going to be served. I mean for crying out loud we're about to be 7 months out from the wedding date, and now I just don't know what is going to happen. My mother who is supposed to be helping us with our wedding a long with this father can't make a decision and nor can I. I don't want everything to fall onto my mother's shoulders especially when she doesn't have my father to talk to and ask what he thinks. Everything is always planned around my father and I am sick of it! I am so friggin tired of not being able to do shit because we are in fear of what my father is going to do or say. It's so damn frustrating. Now I don't know what my wedding is going to be b/c of my father! A wedding is not supposed to be this damn stressful when it comes your parents helping you. Not to mention it really sucks that I don't have a friggin job, so I can't help out as much as I would like to. But it just pisses me off that it looks as though my wedding is limbo. My mother and I are already indecisive when it comes to making a big decision. I told her today that's its always like we're playing jump rope, and can never just make that jump. But its getting really annoying!!!!! I don't know what I'm going to do about my wedding, and it just really makes me upset that it seems as though my day may never happen the way that I want it to. Which is why I brought up the whole VEGAS idea - but I really don't want to b/c I want my grandparents to be there. I just don't know, I feel as though my wedding is not going to happen and right now I just feel like going to the friggin JP and move the eff on! But I don't want to and my mother tells me that she doesn't want me to go to JP and that she wants me to have a church wedding, but yet everything has been thrown back up into the air. God, now I'm starting to cry over this!

Shouldn't a parent want to help with their childs wedding? Their daughters wedding? Their only daughter's wedding?! I mean dammit I'm the only daughter that you have and my father wont' even talk to me and now he's jeapordizing my wedding b/c as always we have to walk on eggshells about every frigging thing! I"m sorry to put this out here but I just needed to release some steam.

I can honestly tell you right now, that I have no clue what is going to happen to my wedding....