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License Before Wedding??

Why don't you try just being room mates until you get married have seperate rooms and such?

if i were you I would go ahead and get the marriage license first so you two can live together and work out finances together.  It's ok because even if you are not married yet, you are going to be, so it's not like you would just be shacking up......you two are already committed to each other.

Since you are religious I'm guessing you want a church wedding. Depending on a church, in some instances the church will not marry you if you already are married by a justice.

I usually strogly advise against taking out school loans you don't need but if you don't qualify for "free" aid you can take out a stafford loan. Be sure to talk to your financial councelor which one would be the best option for you and only take what you need.

My FH and I are actually getting married next month, though our wedding isn't until next September. We are doing this mostly for financial reasons. If I start the school program that I am hoping for, I might be starting around the time of the wedding, and with wedding things to pay for on top of just everyday bills and expenses, we don't need the stress of also paying for school. He is in the marines, so I will get tuition assistance.

I've taken out loans for school before, and I just am trying to avoid taking out any more! Just remember, the license usually doesn't mean you are MARRIED yet. I am not sure how it is in other states, but in Virginia, you get the license, and THEN you get married by whoever. It's separate, though you can get them done at the same time. We are going to get our license probably this Friday, then it expires 60 days after it is issued, and we are getting married next month.

Me and my FH (Hubby) Got married in April and our wedding is October 12.. and it was health insurance reasons.... So i would't see why its a big deal. My parents his parents and my sister was there but no one else new or knows still and we get married in like 50 some days.. so it can work..

I, too, am "religious" so we have not lived together or slept together.  If we suddenly moved in together a year before we were "married", the people in our circles would enquire.  The truth would come out that we had indeed gotten married and that we wanted another marriage ceremony with everyone at a later date.  I would feel that I've lied to everyone, and tried to cover up the truth.

An option would be to throw a very small wedding, then have a one year anniversary party (or a five year anniversary party).

Talk openly with your fiance, your family, and anyone else who you feel comfortable with, and find a situation that works for you guys.  That would not work for me, but it would for other people like Becky 1012.

Girl, I feel you.  My fiancee and I are in the same situation.  Stick to your guns, especially if your faith means to you what mine means to me.  If you try being "roommates" you might as well just live together because the sleeping in separate bedrooms isn't gonna cut it (or it wouldn't on my end).  Being committed it God's eyes is FAR different than the legal paperwork that binds two people together.  Remember, God WILL provide without you having to stack the deck in your own favor.  Stay strong.

I battle with this too. My fiance and I grew up together as step 3rd cousins. We were always around eachother as kids. Me, him and his sister would all be put in the same bed when we were little, or the same room when we got older. I was used to being around him. We became and item and because we lived in different states and we were both struggling financially, he moved into my apartment, because I had a 3 bedroom. I will tell you this, you'll probably wind up in the same room.




elope. or have a small quick wedding, renew your vows later. or just leave it in Gods hands and He will find a way. You are not being old fashioned. You are not being dumb in any way. I respect you. I wish I had the will power to do this all the right way. I wish I had now. Our wedding is about 4 months away. I'm hoping to feel better about the whole thing when that rolls around.


But a marriage license is simply permission to get married. It doesn't make you married. It's just your proof that you are allowed by law to be married. You take the license to the person who marries you, you exchange vows, and then they sign it and date it, you sign it and date it, a witness signs.. and it gets mailed to the town clerk to be filed. Marriage licenses expire, and they aren't binding. If the two of you want to live together as roommates.. keep this in mind....

we as Christians are also told to avoid the appearance of evil. People who know you are not married will assume you are having premarital sex. It just kinda comes with the shacking up thing.

Honey just go to your pastor and say I do and exchange those rings and put right on your wedding invitations.. this is a renewal of vows for a Christian couple who did right by the Lord. You still deserve your wedding.


I feel for you. And I respect you.