I really don't feel like typing all of this..but I need some OUTSIDE advice! This is EXACTLY what I was trying to avoid by not having any bridesmaids, Okay...my cousin and I used to be like sisters growing up..We're only 8 months apart in age. I made invitations and PLANS to have my OWN bridal shower at my Grandmother's house tomorrow (7/29). So, my cousin called me 2 weeks ago and asked if SHE could do my bridal shower for me at her house. So, I guess she and my sister were in charge of it. TODAY...my mom sends me a text saying "I'm trying to see why they can't call and communicate about nothing..that's not cool." I asked my mom what did that mean.. she said.."Neka sent it." KNOWING that I spoke to her via text yesterday telling her that I had already sent the invites out and that I woudn't mind using my wedding decor for the bridal shower, so she wouldn't have to buy any; I picked up the phone to call her. She wouldn't pick up..so I left a message saying the EXACT same thing verbatim She responded with a text "I got your message, Bwhahahahhaa." I asked her why was she avoiding me..why did she lie about not talking to me, and if she didn't want to do the bridal shower...WHY did she volunteer herself to do it? She told a BLATANT lie saying my mom and sister asked her to have it for me..My sister had the text message to PROVE thatshe asked my sister about the bridal shower AFTER I told my sister that my cousin asked. Here's THE REAL KICKER! A few weeks ago..my cousin and my aunt got into it at my house. My aunt said while they were arguing.. "why do you always trying to front on me in front of Sonya??" My aunt turned around and looked at me and told me "She don't even LIKE yall! She talk about yall 24/7." Later on that week...my aunt have been telling things she's said about me.."She's forcing Adrian to marry her.....hahahhahaha they're getting married in Grandma's backyard. Ever since they got that house they've been struggling." I'm not the confrontational type BY FAR...but I WILL tell you what's on my mind.Adults should be able to talk without having to get into a shouting match or fist fight, right?? But really, if you say anything about my kids....THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF! lol
Anywho, #1 Adrian asked me to marry him 15, 10, 8 years ago..and LAST YEAR....I didn't want to get married PERIOD at the time. I felt more comfortable waiting AS LONG AS I COULD. We've been together since we were 18 and 19...YES he's cheated on me, YES we've been mad A LOT OF TIMES...but NEVER did we break up...NEVER did he cheat on me again...and NEVER did I cheat on him. Only 1 thing matters..and that's that he can't live without me...and YES we've learned from our mistakes. I can't remember the movie..but the line was..."I'm not in the business of keeping anyone who doesn't want to be kept."
#2....If I WANTED to have a 30, 000 dollar wedding..I COULD...(I'd be in debt..) but I COULD! I'm more resourceful than I was 20 years ago. I have kids' savings accounts and college funds to fill. Not only that...I'm not the 30,000 wedding type...I've ALWAYS wanted an outdoor wedding. PLUS it was where we spent most of our "courting" when we were younger (he lived down the block from Grandma). I'm effin 36 (she's 35).. I've been a homemaker for 10 years..and she's been stripping for 16.. I don't think money is #`1...morals and values are, Don't get me wrong.there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with being a stripper...but if you strip for 16 years, don't own ANYTHING (not even a CAR) and you're kissing age 40 on the forehead...it's time to hang up the G-string.I kinda see why she figured me getting married in Grandma's backyard tacky or less-than..we're just on 2 TOTALLY different paths.
#3 just because I don't get the latest "Basketball Wives" earrings...or buy a $400 weave...does NOT mean I'm struggling. I don't have to ask ANYONE for ANYTHING. I shop in the thrift store 90% of the time..and it's BY CHOICE! My daughter won BEST DRESSED in her class because of it.
SO...MY question is......should I dis-invite her to the wedding. She's my cousin...but she does nothing for me. I'm not inspired, encouraged..not even LOVED by her. What do you think??
But thank you ladies for sharing your stories and advice with me. Like @mz2handgrip....(funny name btw ;-) said...I've prayed..AND tried to compromise....and I'm leaving it at that.