This is porcelainbride's Blue Wedding!

Its been a while since i made a proper post on here. I realized recently that I really haven't told ya'll much about me/us. So here's a brief description of my closest girlfriends who are going to be my bridesmaids!

Emily She's been my best friend since I was 8 years old. She's not always entirely reliable about everything, but she's always been there when I've needed her. When we first met, we weren't too sure about each other. By the end of the year we were as thick as thieves. In 5th grade a new girl joined our class and turned Emily against me. They came up with the idea of poisoning me with sand sticks that looked like pixie sticks. They didn't want to really hurt me- they just wanted to upset me. Luckily another friend of mine interrupted before anything happened. She finally apologized & we've been good friends again since. We've had our ups and downs like any old friendship does, but we always manage to get through it and come out unscathed.

Melissa We were best friends throughout our senior year of highschool. Literally joined at the hip. We were like fire and gasoline & we did everything together. I was devastated when she left for school. Then she pulled an 8 month disappearing act before her parents brought her home because she had mono. She stuck around Raleigh for a while and after I left for England in 2006, she pulled another disappearing act. She recently got back in touch with me and we've been practically inseparable again whenever she's in town.

Lauren I actually met Lauren's husband online. He was a photographer for a club I used to go to frequently and he ran a forum where he posted all the photos he'd take at the club. We chatted back and forth while I was in England and just as i was planning my return, they asked if I would like to be invited to their wedding last June. I planned my flight so that I could be here to attend and give them my best wishes. It turned out that the apartment complex i moved into was also where they lived. Lauren and I quickly struck up a friendship- we'd go for afternoons out, lunch, dinner and just generally hanging out by the pool etc. She's become one of my closest friends over the past year and I feel that I can turn to her for anything.

Karen Karen is Chris' youngest step-sister. She's still a year older than him though. lol. We haven't had a chance to really go out and get to know each other yet, but whenever we have family dinners her and i always end up chatting for ages and we've got a lot of the same interests. She's going to be a wonderful sister in law!!

P.S. please ignore the fact that I'm drunk in almost all of the photos! haha. most of them are pretty old and were taken during our wild child days!

I've noticed damask seems to be ever increasing in popularity- especially on this blog so it seems like a logical place to ask this...

WHERE IN THE HELL CAN I FIND BLACK AND WHITE DAMASK RIBBON?!

I swear I stumbled across it somewhere on the web some time ago and I simply cannot find it again! I was almost certain I'd bookmarked it too, but going through my bookmarks, I can't seem to find it! I'd considered using it in the beginning when we first changed our colors, but Chris was a bit iffy about it, so i decided against it. Now I really don't care- i want it. In moderation of course. I'm thinking about just using it as table runners, on the invitations & to tie the favors with. Basically, just enough so that its there, I notice it, but it's not overbearing. I could very easily go overboard with it though! My apartment (which I never got a chance to finish furnishing) was all black, white & red and I had intentions of decorating with damask anywhere I could but then Chris moved in and all of my black & red got thrown out and replaced with taupe & blue. Such typical guy colors. Thankfully we've agreed upon our wedding colors without much of a fuss! Anyway, back to damask.... anyone got any other good ideas for how to use it without being overbearing? I've seen some really cute things such as candle votives, covering lampshades with a thin, translucent damask printed paper, napkins etc.

I was joking around with Chris about this a few weeks ago... see, I have this huge thing where I would give anything to meet Paula Dean. In fact, if I could, I'd totally have her adopt me- I want her as my mother! haha. Seriously speaking though, a friend of his (kelli) works for her and apparently she *loves* weddings and doesn't have anyone to plan for anymore (and she's helping Kelli plan hers!) so Kelli thinks she'd probably go if we invited her which would be so awesome!
We're also inviting Cartel... though I wouldn't really call them famous yet. FH is really good friends with the singer, and knows the rest of them so we're hoping maybe if we invite them they'll offer to play for us too. haha.

others on our list of possibilities:
Oprah
Toby Keith
Kenny Chesney
Gretchen Wilson
Taylor Swift
Brad Paisley
Kellie Pickler (yay for carolina girls!)
Matthew Mcconaughey
Reese Witherspoon (she's a spokeswoman for Avon & I work for Avon, so it makes sense?)
Bowling For Soup (Chris had a crush on me when I was 17 & Erik's mom was my friend's art teacher in HS. They tried to persuade me to move to UNT when I was looking at universities!)

..that's only our list. I'm sure once Chris' father gets a chance to have a say who's coming we'll end up with some high power lawyers & businessmen on the list & possibly a couple of Lords/MPs that his dad's friends with.

edit- i completely forgot to add Tuff Hedeman (Bull Rider)- he's the one who gave Chris the nickname of "Crash" & My Brother in law is Mark Wulfert who used to play baseball for the San Diego Padres

We got engaged last July and never really made much of an effort to start planning- we had some ideas, and kept an eye out for things we liked but we weren't really too worried about it all.

Fast forward to January and we realized we had 21 months to get everything in order and sorted out- especially seeing as I want everything I can, finalized at least a month beforehand so I can spend the last month enjoying myself and looking forward to the wedding instead of stressing out that this or that hasn't been done yet.

The past few months have been filled with finding venues, changing themes & color schemes, arguing with my mother, cutting down the guest list, planning invitations & save the dates (since we're making them ourselves and almost our entire guest list is from out of town and overseas so I need to get the STD's out sometime this summer to give folks time to save up) figuring out the bridal party, budgeting, cakes, and occasionally looking at dresses.

I love the fact that we're getting married. I love everything about it- even the planning. But I'm finding that this past week I just haven't been able to get myself very excited about anything. Perhaps its the fact that my sleep schedule is terrible at the moment and i tend to be running on 2-4 hours of sleep, but it still makes me miserable that I just can't seem to be happy about it all. Even when I went to lunch with my BM's yesterday who just wanted to talk about the wedding I found myself shying away from questions and changing the subject. I think I've burned myself out. Especially with the DIY stuff.

We're going to look at a venue tomorrow that I was super excited about when i found it. Now I'm just blah... i don't really care. I want someone else to find me a venue that I fall in love with. I don't want to have to do the dirty work of negotiating deals and sorting out contracts. I think I was mostly excited about the fact that I'd be going "home"- the hall is only minutes away from where I grew up and even though its only the other side of town, I never go over there these days. Then I found out its a teacher work day for my old HS so my favourite teachers won't be there & I can't stop in and say hello to them.

At this point, eloping sounds like a wonderful plan.

So, I got this idea from the book "DIY Bride" it's not exactly the same because I couldn't get the right type of fabric in the color I wanted, but I think it still looks pretty damned good in the satin instead of silk. obviously this is a mock up and it still needs some refining. ie- I'll be using spray glue instead of a glue stick so the fabric will be attached more evenly, & I won't be using a box cutter to cut the cardstock! I'm not sure if I like the fleur-de-lys button and bow but its okay, I'll come up with something. It was just an idea from the FH once I got started. The left side of the invitation where it's all white currently will be black (i forgot to buy black cardstock today) and there'll be a smaller white piece put over it with the wording on it, & the inserts will go on the right.

anyway, any suggestions? Any way to jazz it up or make it look better? Any ideas to replace the button & bow? i looked for rhinestone slide buckles but I couldn't find any in all three of the craft stores I went to today. I kind of like the idea of the bow, but it just needs something more I think.

I went into David's Bridal today with a friend of mine to browse around and get some ideas & prices for our flower girl's dress. I figured they're probably the best place to get it seeing as they'll be the cheapest I can think of and I really don't want to make my flower girl's mother pay $100+ for a dress her daughter will grow out of in a matter of months.

Anyway, browsing through the dresses and looking around I was absolutely appalled to see that almost every dress was cut and designed to look so much older than is appropriate for a 4 or 5 year old flower girl! Is it really that difficult to find a simple, plain, white, sleeveless, ankle length dress with a colored sash that doesn't look like a miniature bridal gown?! Sure, I saw a few when I was in there, but I couldn't really concentrate on them because of my shock at how disgusting these "mini-brides" were!

I understand that almost every little girl wants to be a bride one day. Okay let me rephrase that- I sort of understand that they do. I wasn't one of them. I refused to participate in our kindergarten weddings and I swore up and down until I met my FH that I would never marry.

However, [getting back on the subject,] this does not mean that you should make your flower girl a mini-clone of you. That's the reason why these girls have closets full of dress up clothes and they can play bride in their own home with their friends. Your ceremony aisle is not the time or the place for them to play dress up. Nor is your wedding the time or place to have a mini-me following you all day. That is the most disgusting show of complete and utter vanity that I could ever imagine one displaying!

I'm not deliberately trying to get anyone's back up, or offend anyone- I'm simply stating my opinion and getting this off my chest before I really explode. I know people who have had "mini-brides" because they've wanted to include all the children, or have felt guilty about excluding one or two of the younger kids in their family. Fair enough I suppose. I can sort of get my head around that, even though I still don't really like the idea. But if you're only having one flower girl why in the hell are you going to make her look 15, when she's only 5?!

We're having such a hard time finding a venue in NC that:

a.) is something different to a hotel- we'd ideally like an estate house or antique farm
b.) holds at least 200 guests (seated) indoors- FH is adamantly against the idea of a Marquee tent, except for the cocktail hour.
c.) has an outdoor ceremony site
d.) is of a reasonable cost. We really don't feel like paying $20,000 for venue fees & catering (excluding decor rental if its not included)

I've sent out at least 50 emails in the past 2 days to every venue I've come across that looks at least half decent and most of the replies are disappointing. We've decided we'll extend our search to Virginia (preferably Shenandoah Valley, Midloathian and Richmond areas) and South Carolina (preferably Charleston) because FH was born in VA and graduated from Johnson & Wales University in Charleston.

I emailed the Middleton Plantation in Charleston this evening and I'm looking forward to their response- was it obnoxious of me to ask if we could get a discount if we could prove my FH is a direct descendant of Arthur Middleton, the plantations original owner?

Anyway, are there any SC/VA brides on here that could provide a few ideas? I really don't know either of the areas well (i'm a FL/NC girl myself) so I'm not sure where to start!

Would it be really crazy to have my mother bring an extra large (66 portion- 25.5 cm X 5.5cm) or two/three bar cutting(1.36kg) fruit cake(s) with her from England? Personally, I hate sponge cakes unless they're red velvet and there's no way in hell that FH is allowing that. He hates it. I also hate American fruitcakes- they're too dry, nor do they have royal icing and marzipan on them, so that's out of the question. I want just one layer of Marks & Spencers traditional wedding cake. Also, I know my guests from England would appreciate it because then I'm keeping to our traditions to an extent.

I know my mom wouldn't mind bringing it with her (yes, it might be a bit of a hassle, but if it's what I want she'd do it after a lecture from my grandmother lol.) and really it's not *that* big. I'd really like to have some fruitcake there just because its my preference and its tradition (and it keeps better than sponge!) and while I could make my own with a M&S recipe, I really don't feel like it!

so, am I being totally off the wall here?

In a previous post I mentioned that I'd ordered my 3 Bridesmaids gifts from Avon and I was looking for something different for my Maid of Honor.

Sure enough, when i was reviewing my orders and double checking the demo's page to make sure there wasn't anything I needed to order for upcoming campaigns, I found the most amazing set that's being released in campaign 12! My MOH doesn't have her ears pierced so the set I bought for the BM's just wouldn't have been suitable anyway. The price of this demo is totally unbeatable for the amount you recieve and it means I can give her some, and keep some for myself!! (yes, okay, maybe that's selfish but I don't care. I'm in love with it and I'm only allowed to order one set!)

Anyway, I'm giving her the ring & necklace and keeping the bracelet & earrings for myself. I really hope she likes them!

I'm seriously getting annoyed at the fact that we can't seem to find a venue that suits us. We want the ceremony outside, in the grounds of an old house but we want the reception in a barn. Is that so much to ask?!

So far, the only place I've found that has a reasonable looking barn is Fearrington Village who I refuse to have anything to do with because they're so limited- you must use their florist, caterers etc. otherwise your contract is void and you lose all your money. You can't even DIY things that you could buy through them.

We live in the South. To be precise, we live in North Carolina. Why the hell can't we find a stately home with beautiful gardens and an antique barn?! I'm half tempted to use the barn I used to work at- its in the middle of no where, just off 98 in Wake Forest and at the entrance to the camp there's a beautiful field surrounded by woodland. The field's used as a soccer pitch during soccer season but other than that, it's left alone. It would be a beautiful area to have the ceremony if we could set up a marquee tent for the reception, and I'd still get my barn- we just wouldn't be IN the barn. The only issue with that however, is that there's no where to use the restroom and I can't expect my guests to walk the quarter of a mile down into the camp!

Anyway, anyone have any ideas? We've looked at the Matthews House in Cary, Crenshaw Hall in Wake Forest, High Grove Estate in Fuquay, & Barclay Villa in Angier.

We're trying to keep to a very small budget, so I've allocated $10/bridesmaid for gifts. I realize its a very small number but I also work for Avon and get a discount on everything they offer so I can get a good amount of stuff for $10.

Anyway, I got my shipment in today and because I was a dumbass I'd forgotten to order my campaign 10 brochures. Luckily they'd put one in for me as a reference guide. Browsing through it I came across these beautiful necklace & earring sets which are marked down from $19.99 to only $9.99!! I've already put my order in for them, and I can't wait till I get to see them in person! I'm sure my girls are just going to love them! (oh, btw, I've ordered them in silvertone instead of goldtone)

yay for cheap and easy gifts! hehe.

btw, if anyones interested in ordering some for themselves, I do have a website and can ship to anywhere in the united states.
http://www.youravon.com/asmith8967

we haven't had a chance to sit down with a baker and come up with any designs yet, so for the moment, I'm just collecting photos of what I like. Again, its almost impossible for Chris and I to agree on the cake- he wants marble, i love red velvet and bourbon chocolate cakes. we've considered having each tier a separate type but most places around here charge extra for it.

My fiance and I have very different tastes. I like simple yet elegant & glamorous, he likes "rustic chic" as I call it (aka. redneck) he also likes simplicity but the type of simplicity he enjoys is the boring kind. We come from very different backgrounds- I grew up in the suburbs, he grew up on a farm. There isn't much we actually share in common, but what we do share is enough to make us compatible.

Now, this whole opposites thing is totally getting in the way of planning. He's very vocal about his opinions and gets a bit annoyed if I make a decision about something without consulting him first- even if it's something he doesn't really care much about. I understand though, he just wants to be kept in the loop.

So, I've uploaded the two designs we seem to have been able to agree upon. Basically, our agreement is that one of us, hates the other's design, so we'll use both of them that way we're both happy. My design will be sent out as the STD's and his will be sent out as the formal invitations.

the pocketfolds will be teal with crystal cardstock in them. the images of the pocketfolds i've uploaded are saved from someone's post on LJ but it gives you a perfect idea of what we're doing too- ours won't be much different.

umm... where did my post go?! I know I saved it!!

.... i must be losing my mind!

dammit. oh well.

simple recap- I hate dress shopping because I can't find anything I like. I want something simple. Simple seems to always only come in sheath styles which for me- a size 14, with curves in all the right places- just doesn't look right. I DO NOT want a ball gown or anything that warrants a huge, heavy, crinoline under it. I'm sick of trying on dresses and getting lost in mass quantities of tulle while trying to figure out how to put it on! I don't want a train either- i hate the look of bustles and it'll just get in the way otherwise. I don't like excessive amounts of rhinestones, embroidery, pearls or crystals- looks great on other people but that's just not very me. I'm okay with lace in moderation, so long as it isn't that tacky 1980's looking lace. Am I asking for the impossible here? Perhaps I'll scrap the idea of getting a normal dress completely and just buy a white cocktail dress or bridesmaid dress instead. I'm sure I'd be much more comfortable in it! Then I'm also having the issue of not being able to figure out whether i should go with a short dress or a long one. I want a semi-formal event but I'm not sure if a short dress would look too casual. Also, would I even feel like a bride in a short dress?

So, I know I definitely want the girls wearing teal. Saying that however, teal seems to be a difficult color to find! I'm in love with Alfred Angelo's color, "Jade" as its almost the perfect color. All the other colors I find are too tiffany or cornflower looking. I've also had the issue of teals being slightly too green. So, having seen the Jade color, I think it's wonderful. However, this limits my girls selection something wicked. I'm not letting the girls pick their own dresses- instead, they'll all be wearing the same dress that they've picked (majority vote) out of the 3 or 4 dresses I like. I want something that they can wear again, and something they'll be comfortable in. Since we can't seem to decide on how formal this wedding's going to be (I want semi-formal, Chris wants casual & our families want black-tie) I'm not sure whether I should have the girls in cocktail/tea-length or floor length. I'm going to go ahead and plan it as if it's semi-formal because I WILL win this argument. haha.

anyway, what do you think of these dresses? Most of my girls are average size (US12) & average height and they're all pretty curvy for the most part.

We've been planning for a year now. We've changed themes, colors, dates, and anything else you can think of multiple times. We can't seem to get it together to get a final decision! Hopefully our new scheme of Teal & White with Black accents will finally stick. I'm looking forward to having a semi-formal, evening, outdoor wedding but we'll see what ends up happening with that! So far, nothing's set in stone and it seems as though everyone who's contributing to this wedding has a different idea! My biggest fear is that I end up listening to, and doing whatever everyone else wants and I don't get my perfect wedding.

Now, what is my perfect wedding you ask? one word- Simple. It is small, intimate & simple- no frills, no fancies, nothing that would be considered over the top. It would be outdoors in late spring-early autumn. I'd have a Gazebo, on a lake or in a field with pine forests behind it. I wouldn't have all the people from England that my mother's insisting I invite (after all, while they may be related or very close family friends, i barely know them!), I'd only have my nearest and dearest. The colors would still be the same but the bridesmaids would be holding bunches simple bunches of white flowers (but no calla lilies!) I'd have a bouquet made of teal & white- whatever the florist would think was appropriate. The boys would still have their pocket squares. The mothers would have small white rose corsages & pink faded rose corsages for the grandmothers. We'd have the reception in an old, empty barn. The tables would be covered in teal with a white lace overlay and we'd have candle centerpieces. The cake would be marble with plain white butter cream & a teal ribbon around the base of each layer- nothing at all fancy... not even a topper on it. We'd have sparklers instead of confetti or birdseed. Favors would probably be a truffle or M&Ms in a little box, or wrapped in lace/tulle with a teal bow. Guests attire would be semi-formal/dressy-casual and we'd all chow down on some simple but tasty low-country, southern cuisine. See? Simple.

Anyway, I look forward to browsing around the site and getting some new ideas!