porcelainbride's Green wedding

My dad just about killed me today. I met up with him for lunch while I was having my car inspected and as always, he asks about the wedding... not usually because he's interested, but more because he enjoys laughing at how petty my mother can be about little details. So I start telling him about how I kinda want a shorter dress- maybe tea length instead of full length because we're doing a kind of cocktail garden party type wedding with the ceremony being held in gardens. While telling him this, I mention how mom told me that only trashy brides get married in a short dress, unless its their second or third marriage. I also told him about how Davids Bridal has the $99 sale, and I liked a couple of the dresses I tried on in there but I'd like to keep looking around because I haven't tried on anything and felt really like a bride, as if all of this is actually real. He suggested that to keep mom happy, I get the short dress I liked for the rehearsal, which is something I'd already considered. He asked how much it was and I told him I thought it was around $250, which while it's expensive, there may be the chance of catching it in the $99 sale next time they have one but I'd have to make an appointment and talk to a consultant to find out.

his response:
"Well, I'd offer to buy it for you but then again, I don't know if there's even going to be a wedding, knowing you."

I didn't say anything at the time. I just let it slide until I got back to my car, and got away from him. Then I screamed my lungs out. Does he honestly think I'm that much of a flake? Does he seriously think that I don't mean it when Chris and I tell each other we love one another? Sure, we don't exactly flaunt our relationship and be all PDA all the time but does one need to in order to feel secure and loved? I love how he doesn't hold out any hope for me just because he failed at all three of his marriages. His sister's been happily married for well over 20 years now. Even his own daughter has been able to maintain a successful marriage for the past 10 years. I realize that I went through men like toilet paper in the past, but as of next month, we'll have been together for a year. It's a pretty sure bet that if I didn't get rid of him in the first couple of months, I'm not getting rid of him anytime soon, considering I don't tend to hold onto men who piss me around and upset me.

What makes all of this even more stinging is the fact that I told my dad at lunch that Chris has been accepted to VCU and that we'll be going up to Richmond for a week or so this summer to look for a place for us to move into right after Christmas when our lease is up with our current complex. If I'm willing to move out of the state for him, by what means does he come to the conclusion of "if there's even going to be a wedding?"

I'm starting to think my sister had the right idea. She eloped and had her wedding on the beach in Hawaii with the girls from the front desk of the hotel as her witnesses. Originally it was going to be his parents & her mother that went along as well, but his parents backed out at the last minute, then because of that, her mom cancelled as well, so they got married alone. She says she wouldn't have done it any other way.

I'm tired of everyone being so skeptical and pessimistic. I mean, I realize that in todays society with the divorce rate being what it is that it's difficult to understand marriage and believe in it but that doesn't mean that you should grudge someone their happiness because it might be suitable for them & it might make them happy.

This wedding bullshit is getting to be more than I can handle, and it doesn't help that I feel as though I have **ZERO** support with any of it. At this point, Vegas is sounding extremely appealing.