porcelainbride's Green wedding


06/29/2008
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Is it really bad that I don't want to do gift basket for OOT guests?

honestly, I've never been to a wedding where they did give out welcome baskets or anything similar to the out of town guests- even for those who have travelled ridiculous lengths to get there. I think this is a reasonably new thing because before planning my wedding, I'd never even heard of it!

the majority of our guests are coming from out of town- my side from England & NC, his side from WV, other areas of VA, SC, KY & TN but they'll mostly be staying with other family members that live in the area. I *really* don't want to be spending a ton of money putting together gift/welcome baskets for everyone. After all, I'm pretty fussy about the fact that I even have to pay for dinner & drinks for everyone as well as favors and everything else.

I feel like I'm an awful bride for not wanting to shower my guests with gifts etc. but for christ's sake, they're not the ones forking out $30k for the damned wedding! Not to mention, I thought it's supposed to be our day, so why the hell does everyone else need gifts? selfish.. yes. but honestly, its just another added extra that i know most of my side isn't going to really appreciate or care too much about and i don't really know about his side. It just seems like a waste of time.

out of town, guests, welcome, baskets
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gratefulbride
 |  Monroe, NC, United states  |  06/29/2008
no way should u feel like an awful bride for not showering your guests with gifts, or oot baskets, especially if you're already providing favors at the wedding.  in actuality, they have been around for awhile, just like some brides never heard of doing a grooms cake, but i think that each year, they get a little more extensive & well-known.

i personally feel that the oot bags/boxes/baskets are a nice touch, especially to express gratitude & concern over your travelling guests, & welcoming them to your area.  they really dont have to be extensive, it's about what you want to do.  they can be as simple as a welcome letter, with a wedding timeline & a list of tourist attractions, hospitals, malls, 24hr drug stores, etc...more of a welcoming help lette (sometimes the hotels just dont give the good & helpful info that you really know).  so, all in all, a welcome bag can be whatever you want it to be....or not.  but i dont really think your guests are going to come in town & send you hate mail for not having their welcome bag supplied.  most guests dont think about them, but from what ive seen, they definitely appreciate them.
soon2bepayton
 |  -, -  |  06/29/2008
Pah, I am definitely not getting gift baskets. Any truly out of town guests are my family members and a few of Kenny's, but I know my family members wouldn't expect a gift basket and I'm sure his won't either. Favors and just getting an invitation should be enough. And isn't it THEM who are supposed to be bringing YOU a gift? I think returning a gift to them would kind of cancel out the whole gift giving thing. You might as well just buy yourself the gift they would bring you. Anyway, you'll be sending thank you cards out afterwards anyway. It's their choice to travel the distance.
deijahp
 |  Alpharetta, GA, United states  |  06/29/2008
No ma'am!  You are not awful for not doing gift baskets.  True, they add a nice touch and all, but WE will be fine without them.  I'm not doing them and I don't feel bad at all!
lisacuba
 |  Surrey, BC, Canada  |  06/29/2008
Not at all - I am not doing them .  You have to be aware that these  wedding websites are over the top on so many things and are adding all these things to make money.  We as brides have to step back and take a breath and realize we can't and are not expected to do all these things  - you will be paying way too much money and adding stess on yourself.  I am constantly stepping back and cutting back and asking myself do they really care if everything matches etc. Guests are coming to see you get married and share in your day - period.     Enjoy yourself and good luck.
halibride
 |  Halifax, NS, Canada  |  06/30/2008
I wouldn't feel bad about it either. My fiance didn't even know that favours were good etiquette. I'm kind of bitter at having to pay for dinner, and I also wish that we could tell our single friends that only significant others are welcome guests.

I feel cheap, but the idea is for people to celebrate us and our wedding, not for us to celebrate that people want to celebrate for us. Sure, we'll do the favours and wedding party gifts but the rest of it....nah.

So don't worry about. Lots of the wedding magazines and sites are advocating ideas that I have NEVER seen at weddings, so I think it's just to get money. Do what you can afford.
tracydurmon
 |  Waco, TX, United states  |  07/03/2008
I am doing wedding favors and also welcome baskets for my out of town guests only because I think it will be a nice touch for those traveling but under no circumstance is it mandatory. I agree witht he others these wedding websites just keep adding things daily to make more money. I'm not doing big baskets though just simple baskets that say welcome to the area. You know what I mean?
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