03/17/2009
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War of the Help!!!

Well we all decided on a date for Feb, then everyone was saying why not the same year as your Dad's 50th ?? Because we have moved from Zimbabwe to New Zealand all my family is in Africa and they want to come out which is great, but now everyone has ideas for the wedding.
I really want to take my time deciding on everything, I feel a bit costraphobic with everyones ideas... I know they wanna help, but I want a perfect day for Shane and ME... for the first time in my life I get to be selfish.. how do I tell everyone.. without offending anyone???
futuremrsogan's Black wedding
 |  Beltsville, MD, USA  |  03/17/2009  | 
Just tell em girl!! It's your wedding. Tell them this is the date- etc. Tell them you don't want to steal or share the excitement of a wedding/big birthday party... it's two completely separate events and you'd like to keep it that way! :) Good luck!
sweetserenity's Blue wedding
 |  Alpharetta, GA, USA  |  03/17/2009  | 
I understand how hectic that is and to a certain degree I agree with futuremrsogan. If you tell your family its "your" day they will be hurt and dissapointed, you dont want to offend anyone although you are the Bride "). If you hear ideas that you like or dont like - just say I will definitely look into that - thank you
Regarding the 50th Birthday Celebration - just tell your family that it will be hectic and overwhelming to celebrate 2 big events in a short period of time. You want guests to recooperate and have a 2nd occasion to look forward to.  
Remember - you attract more bees with honey - and also its your family they will be there after your wedding is done and gone and you dont want them to remember you as a Bridezilla
sabrinav's Blue wedding
 |  Concord, ON, Canada  |  03/17/2009  | 
For me, I listened to everyones ideas no matter how ridiculous they sounded to me (some we're CRAZY) and then I told them that I would think about it but that I had some other ideas on whatever subject that they we're talking about too, and thanked them for their help anyhow.
If they kept bothering me after I had already decided then I would tell them that I had already finished with that decision but thanks anyhow...
Sometimes it was REALLY hard not to just freak out at them and let them know EXACTLY what I thought but at the same time, the last thing you want to do is offend someone who is "trying" to help.
bugchick0's Purple wedding
 |  Norfolk, VA, USA  |  03/17/2009  | 
Always listen to your family's ideas--it doesn't mean you have to use them.  Explain what you "really had your heart set on".  Most people can't argue with you when you put it like that! Good luck!
shanna24's Purple wedding
 |  Dallas, TX, USA  |  03/17/2009  | 
I know how you feel........its hard when you have a vision in your mind of what you want and family and friends (even though they are just trying to help) have their own ideas.  You just have to take a deep breath, smile and listen to what they say and act like you are sincerely taking their suggestions to heart and in the end, you just do what YOU want to do anyway.  I can only say.....after being married for a little over a week now, it was the best day of my life.  It was everything I DREAMED OF......not what anyone else wanted, and EVERYONE loved my wedding and said that they had such a wonderful time.  We danced the night away to the most perfect DJ I could have ever wanted, my reception was set up exactly the way I wanted and not one person said anything about me not doing something they had recommended.  My advice to you is enjoy these next few months, soak it all in and etch it into your mind forever......Your wedding day will be the fastest day of your life and you'll want to cherish every moment.  For what its worth......that's my two cents!!!!!  Don't worry......you are going to make a beautiful bride!!!
aussinurse's White wedding
 |  Brisbane, La massana, Australia  |  03/18/2009  | 
it is your decision in the end... it's not being selfish, or even if it is. that's ok! it's your day...

i know how you feel coz we are supposed to be getting married in the UK and i'm from oz, and we had to keep everyone in mind when planning our date too... and it has ended up that it's the same month as my dad's 50th but i wish it was a different year coz i am afraid the wedding will take away from HIS big birthday..
's  wedding
reginav
 |  Richmond, BC, Canada  |  03/18/2009  | 
Thank you so much for your suggestion, I will consider it.  I will let you know ways that I will need your help.

You will need their help, planning a wedding is just too much.  So don't dicard them completely, but do decide what you want them to help with.
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