Ask a Question - Future Husband - RACHAELJUSTICE2010's Red Wedding by Color Blog

How do you get your FH to help you with the wedding? I know he works like all the time but he gets off at 5 and i feel that there is enough time to help me with invitations and favors. He says he's tired but all he does is sit at a desk and answer phones. I'm always having to go here, go there, go everywhere. and when i want his help, all he does is grumble about it and slacks off. the only way to get him to help is to cry. but i dont have time to do that very often. surely there's a better way!

How do you get him motivated? Please help!!

My fiance does grumble some times but when I really explain I need his help he is there. Last week we sat down together and made wedding invites. It was nice to have him help!

I'm going to be very honest, I play the sex card lol! No seriously, our conversation goes like this:

Me: babe can you help me with these invitations?
FH: yeah sure babe, what do you need me to do (while looking at the tv)?
Me: well if you'd look at me, when there's commercial?
Me: Forget, I'll do it myself....
FH: ok babe whatever you say (still watching his dumb show not realizing what he just said)
Me: (mumbling to myself but loud enough for him to hear) well after all this work, I hope you know I will not be putting in ANY overtime.....
FH: So babes, do you want me to cut the ribbons or put the stamps on??

Hehehehe

All the best and if this wasn't helpful, I hope it at least made you laugh!

sorry just saw an error, it should've said:
Me: well if you'd look at me, that'd be a good start
FH: when there's commercial

And so forth....

LOL @ misstoni26 - Girl I love you!

Mark is pretty good when I ask him to help and just say that it's really important to me but I can't do it alone.

I'd play the sex card too! God knows that pretty much always works with a man! Or you could do it naked. That would definitely hold his attention!

My gut reaction is to try to take his perspective and tell you that answering phones and getting yelled at by strangers all day is damn tiring. But your side really sucks too because all you want is help for a day that's supposed to be for both of you. Here's something you should probably read:
http://offbeatbride.com/2010/03/partnership-imbalances#more-4812
I'm sure you've heard this before and will hear it again, but it really is all about communication. Have dinner in the dining room or kitchen (NO TV) and talk about how his actions make you feel. Then ask him how he feels when you ask him to do things. Really get him to talk, often it's difficult for men to talk about their feelings, but if you can figure out where you both stand, you can probably find a solution that works for both of you. Good luck!

Tell him "That is it OUR wedding, not MY wedding and I need your help." Then set aside time (when needed), so that he plans on helping you, so that is now on his "To Do List". Versus the "surprise' (not really a surprise - they are just whiners anyways). This way there are less excuses.

thanks for the help ladies. The only problem with the pulling the sex card or doing it naked is the fact that we live with his parents...and we dont have sex... looks like those two options are out of the question. Really appreciate it though.

rachaeljustice2010 said...

Heart Broken (11)

I know how you feel, i overheard my parents talking about my brothers wedding and how they weren't going to be able to help him and i was embarrass...

Ask a Question (5)

i think feathers should win because of one question. are there going to be snowflakes anywhere else? if the answer is no, than stick with feathers....

More pics (6)

the bouquet came from walmart.

Wedding Dress (4)

i think it would have been nice for them to still let me try it on just to make sure. I don't have pics of them on the computer because its not min...

Wedding Dress (14)

i love it. by looking at the front you wouldnt really notice the pink so it gives it that wow factor when you walk by. very sneaky if i do say so m...