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What do you do when the groom hates your theme?

If your really set on peacock then just go for it. Most men would have a wedding cream and black everywhere if it was up to them. My FH hated some of the stuff i chose at first but he's started to change his mind now it's all coming together.

i had the same problem with the colors i chose, he thought it wouldnt look too good, so i changed it... i still love those colors and sometimes think maybe if i talk to him again and show diff things he will like it... but in case he doesnt i changed it (to almost peacock actually LOL) and hope he likes coz if not tough! but deep down i do wannt him to be amazed by the decor even if its only for a moment... maybe u can change some things and still keep your colors? ask him specifically what he doesnt like about the combo...

Keep your peacock theme but tell him that there has to be a "happy medium". If he doesn't want peacock feathers on the cake, that might have to be something that you comprimse. FH didn't like our theme at first, but when I started dragging him to all the appointments ect. he saw the visual and really got into it.  I am sure he will start caring when the time is getting closer. One thing I have learnt that a lot of men don;t show thier excitement and they say they don't care when they really do.
Good luck!

Wedding planning and marriage is about finding that happy medium that both of you can like. Comprimises will be made.
At first FH didn't like the idea of our theme, but when I dragged him to every appointment (I told him he has no choice, or I will go over budget lol) he came and once he saw the visual he started to get into it more. Maybe take our FH to a decorator or design a few peacock feather looks and show him. Men aren't going to show that they care, and they are going to say that they don't care, but really when the time gets closer they get more excited and they show they care.
Sometimes, you have to pull out the Bridezilla and then he can see how frusterated you are and he will do it.
Good luck!

Sorry about hte multiple messages. WBC wouldn't post!

If your FH is like mine and has a definite set opinion (none of the flower-girl, bridesmaids, or my wedding dress can have one shoulder) then it will come down to compromise. Part of the problem may be he hasn't seen it together cohesively. When your looking at it in parts, cake, linens, floral, etc. Its hard to get the big picture sit down ask him what he doesn't like, the things that are flat out NO's. Thats what me and my FH did. I have a two page list typed list to refer back to.

My Fh is kind of the same some times but I find it's normally because he can't imagine it or doesn't understand what it is. I also believe they don't care that much. Even though that does upset me. Maybe just compromise on some things.

I'm a little worried as Fh hasn't even seen the venue!

Remember it is his day too, lol, that can get hard for brides sometimes :) Especially when you've had your heart set on something.

I agree with the ladies about putting some ideas together to show him, like an inspiration board. Maybe seeing all the different elements together will let him see your vision of the day.

Or you could compromise, stick with the peacock colours, but nix feathers? Maybe just mix some into the bouquets. There are some gorgeous peacock cakes out there without feathers.

A couple examples, obviously peacock, but no 'actual feathers'...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_U1ZUBupvzv8/S9XRfPAa01I/AAAAAAAAAKs/aiPs2BAYvz8/s1600/DSCF2383.JPG

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MZvj5KiHHWs/TWR4WxyG6II/AAAAAAAAC_Q/A-l6stAQqzE/s1600/peacock-cake-feathers.jpg

http://i2.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/250/draft_lens5468682module41674272photo_1245661105wedding-cake-designs-8.jpg

Or you could do a metallic dusted cake to get the peacock colours and add blue dendrobium orchids or something like that.

http://hindsightbride.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/PeacockCakes.jpg

I agree with the other girls, my FH really doesn't care about anything wedding related besides the food and music. It's just not in a mans nature. At first Nick really didn't like the pink & orange together. He is starting to see it EVERYWHERE now though and I think finally getting used to it along with the tropical theme of our wedding. If you want his help do like me, ask him to pick the first dance and other wedding songs and music, let him pick out his tuxes and/or suits, let him have a say in the menu and try to include him in aspects of the wedding that guys enjoy. Maybe he could help you decide on a signature drink? I know my FH was excited to do that with me.. lol but everything else is just 'whatever you want babe'.. this is NOT A BAD THING! Have you seen some of those wedding shows recently? I don't know what I would do if I had my fiancees nose in every aspect of the wedding planning. I have a hard enough time fighting ideas with myself lol

At first I thought I could get away with anything because FH seemed so uninterested in the planning process. But then I found out that he had things that he definitely opposed. He said the same thing - that he "wouldn't care" but that upset me because I didn't want him to be half of a wedding that he didn't care about.

So we basically sat down and listed out the three things that were most important to us along with one thing we absolutely didn't want at all. That helped us establish the things where we had the least wiggle room.

Don't let something like a wedding theme come between you guys. It's a very important day but it's just one day in the rest of your lives as a married couple. If he thinks it's tacky (and believe me, I understand that - I hear it a lot from my FH and I have very understated tastes compared to a lot of brides) then maybe you can keep the peacocks but not include them in everything - just feathered fascinators for the bridesmaids and maybe one for you too. We have penguins as our "theme" but are using them very sparsely as we don't want the wedding to look like Sea World. LOL


Good luck!

At first I thought I could get away with anything because FH seemed so uninterested in the planning process. But then I found out that he had things that he definitely opposed. He said the same thing - that he "wouldn't care" but that upset me because I didn't want him to be half of a wedding that he didn't care about.

So we basically sat down and listed out the three things that were most important to us along with one thing we absolutely didn't want at all. That helped us establish the things where we had the least wiggle room.

Don't let something like a wedding theme come between you guys. It's a very important day but it's just one day in the rest of your lives as a married couple. If he thinks it's tacky (and believe me, I understand that - I hear it a lot from my FH and I have very understated tastes compared to a lot of brides) then maybe you can keep the peacock colors and a bit of the feathers but not include them in everything - for example. just feathered fascinators for the bridesmaids and maybe one for you too. We have penguins as our "theme" but are using them very sparsely as we don't want the wedding to look like Sea World. LOL


Good luck!

aaaw girl im sorry its like this =( i kinda had the same run in too with my FH. I always wanted a cinderella disney princess theme wedding, but my hubby was not feeling it at all he said it was waaaay to girliie and my hubby is the type to like to engage in decision making..So at first I was a little bummed out but then we compromised and chose a theme we both liked together and now Im so in love with my theme =) its fun! but im not telling you to change your theme and find something you both like cuz it seems like your really set on your peacock theme ( which I love too). So my best advice is to try and compromise on some things and not use peacock feathers on certain things to try and get him involved and find something he may like...I learned its all about compromise! there is still somethings my hubby doesnt like but I still do them lol and I just have him choose something else to help him get more excited for the wedding, like I let him 100% pick the grooms tux's and their boutineers, we picked a few of the favors together ( he wanted playing cards and I wanted CDs with love music), etc. also narrow things down to two or three things you like ( like find 3 cakes you really like) and have hime choose which ones of the 3 he likes better..if you show him a lot of different cakes itll be too much for him and wont care, if you show him one he may not like it and not care lol..but if you give him a choice between 2-3 he may not like all 3 but at least he can give his input and which one he likes best and have some involvement..thats what ive been doing with my fh and it has been working great for me =)

Thank you ladies SO much for all your advice. I'm originally a California girl and i SWORE id never get married anywhere besides sunny CA but here i am in Ohio because that is where his family is. SO i'm planning this whole wedding while he finishes grad school with no help because *my* friends and family are in CA. Now that is what i call compromise!

Therefore, I feel that i am entitled to some peacock feathers!!!! All of you brides had good points, but after compromising my dream location and the opprotunity to plan this wedding with my own friends and family, i think he can get over there being feathers on the cake... just sayin.

That a toughy most of us dealt with, compromise, not all but a little bit here and there, I mean maybe you cant really want everything to be exactly like you wanted it at childhood...

EG, Without the feathers, doe sthe whole theme change?
But at the same scale tell him you want to him to be part of the wedding from the planning stages

(I told FH if he does not want to contribute nor will I, so I guess nobody will be planning the wedding then......two days later, he came back with more than 10 wedding mags, sat down and we started planning)