This is sapphire2009's Blue Wedding!

Thursday night we got all dressed up the most fantastic dinner- Since we didn't do a fancy dinner when we were on our honeymoon, we decided to wait and go to one of our favourite restaurants in the area to celebrate our 1 month anniversary instead. I was so stuffed! thai chili prawns, goats cheese stuffed ravioli, she-crab soup, baby greens salad w/ goats cheese, cranberries, pecans & a balsamic dressing, lemon sorbet w/ raspberry puree drizzle, steak & salmon mixed grill, caramel apples w/ raspberry filled shortbread & chocolate bourbon tart.... absolutely incredible! and to top it off- they gave us a vanilla pound cake to say congratulations on our marriage!

If you've never been to the Angus Barn before then you should try it at least once. The steaks are incredible & they're one of the best restaurants in Raleigh. It's always really busy in the dining room, so you'll need a reservation. They also have private dining- the chefs table for 2 in the upper kitchen, and the captains table for 4 in the lower kitchen. The Angus Barn also hosts weddings & events at the Pavillions, & the cellar rooms are a favourite for rehearsal dinners & christmas parties. We booked the Captains Table.

You arrive and get drinks in the lobby, then the manager or assistant manager greets you and takes you down to the lower kitchen and the cellars- you have to go through the main upper kitchen to get there which is certainly an experience! You're then given a brief tour of the wine cellars and taken into the lower kitchen where a private chef creates a menu just for you based on your likes & dislikes (which are asked over the phone when you make the reservation). All the courses have a wine pairing by the sommelier. The table is only available on the nights when they're hosting parties in the lower cellar which at this time of year is 3-4 times a week. It's $100/person all-inclusive and the amount of food you get is ridiculous. I was already full before we even got to the third course. It's a really great value for money since the wine alone can cost $100 if you paid for it separately.

I was talking to my mum earlier about how I'm still reeling from the disappointment of our wedding and I think that in time, I'll get past it, but i'll never totally get over it and there are a A LOT of things I'd do differently if I could do it again. She suggested that I should seriously consider planning a vow renewal for our 5 year anniversary if I'm feeling that awful about everything. She says that since we'd already be married it would be easier, less stressful and since we'd pay for most of it ourselves it could be exactly what I'd wanted in the first place.

Personally, I've always sort of seen vow renewals as the kiss of death in my friends relationships. Every couple I know personally who's done it has ended up announcing their divorce 6 months to a year later- its like they were having problems, decided to have a vow renewal in the hope of fixing those problems and recapturing how they felt as newly weds and when it didn't happen, everything fell apart. That's what puts me off a bit. That and the fact that I don't want to come off as the crazy lady in the family who can't get over the fact that her wedding's come and gone long ago.

But, when my mum puts it in that kind of perspective- not as a replacement to our wedding, but an addition to make me happier and give me better memories it makes me seriously consider it. Especially since it would be only immediate family & closest friends, no bridal party (maybe a best man & a MOH), and it wouldn't be anything dramatic or over the top necessarily, but it would be ours kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

While we were on our honeymoon, DH suggested that we have one at our 1 year, 5 year, or 10 year if I wanted to. But he suggested it as a replacement to our wedding, not as an addition which turned me off the idea. But either way, I know he'd be okay with it if I did choose to.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone else's thoughts on this were?

Since the site is pretty much dead tonight, and as much as I love halloween, we have no plans- the party we were going to go to, the host isn't answering his phone so we can't get directions!- I figure I'll post up a quick recap of our honeymoon.

We flew from Raleigh-Durham to Charlotte, then to Gatwick. Thankfully my MIL got us upgraded from coach to envoy class so we enjoyed the luxury of flying business class. I slept most of the flight there so that I wouldn't be too jetlagged when we landed at 7:10am. (I've done this flight more times than I can count and I'm only now learning how to deal with jetlag. haha) We got through customs & immigration without any problems and met up with one of my friends who had agreed to pick us up at the airport and drive us back to my mum's.

The first week was spent in my hometown- I wanted Chris to see where I grew up, meet some of my friends and family and enjoy the sights of the area. Not to mention, after nearly 3 years of not being there I was starting to get a little homesick. We spent a lot of time relaxing, we visited Duxford Air Museum & Rutland Water- two of my favourite places in the area. I had my hair cut on Wednesday by a good friend of mine, and later that night we spent time in the local village pub getting to know some of my old neighbours. Friday & Saturday night were spent in the pub I used to work at catching up with old friends.

Monday morning we caught the train down to London and checked into our hotel- the Marriott Park Lane which was extremely swanky and high class. Because MIL travels so much and always uses Marriott, we were upgraded to an executive suite so we had access to the executive lounge which provided snacks & drinks for free. We saved a TON of money using that. We also bought day passes for the tube, and walked everywhere that we couldn't get the tube to. Public transport in London is super efficient and while it can be confusing sometimes, it's pretty self-explanatory. We really had no need for a rental car or taxi's.

We spent a lot of time on Oxford Street (seeing as it was just around the corner from the hotel) & visited Selfridges. We did a day at the London Aquarium where we had a near death experience on the elevator- there's a problem with the pulleys and the elevator kept dropping, instead of lowering slowly. We were going to go on the London Eye while we were there but I couldn't do it. I'm too terrified of heights. We spent a day going around my favourite shopping area of all time- Camden Market- where Chris felt like he was in hell. He's not particularly good at tolerating the alternative/goth/punk scenes which is the foundation of Camden Market. He was well behaved though. We also did a day where we went to the London Dungeons (so much fun with LOTS of history & education!! It is expensive though) walked over Tower Bridge (which everyone seems to think is London Bridge... London Bridge is actually at Lake Havasu City, Arizona these days & there's really nothing special about New London Bridge) & went to the Tower of London. We also went shopping in my favourite department store- Fortnum & Masons. (I refuse to set foot anywhere near Harrods & Fortnums has better quality stuff.)

We would've liked to have done more, like see the Buckingham Palace, go to the London Zoo, see a musical in the West End, etc. but we just didn't have the time. We had originally been planning on having a nice dinner & a night out on the town while we were there, but thought better of it after spending £300 on dinner & drinks at the hotel bar & restaurant. We're going to a nice place near our house later this week as our celebratory dinner instead and it'll only cost half the price of if we'd gone out in London!

Friday morning we were up and out of the hotel by 7am, catching the train to Gatwick at 7:15 and on our flight by 10am. Unfortunately however, we were delayed for nearly 2 hours on the tarmac with no air conditioning and had to return to the gate twice because a valve in one of the engines wouldn't open. Chris ended up taking a panic attack (he's not good with flying at all... especially not in coach) when they declared we were returning to the gate for the second time for engine problems. The rest of the flight was pretty awful- we had a horrible air hostess who refused to do anything for us, her response was always "get it yourself" and we weren't even supposed to be seated in coach, but our flight had been overbooked and they were the only seats they could offer us unless we wanted to wait an extra 3 days. By the time our flight landed in Charlotte, we'd missed our connection and had to wait 2 hours for the next flight to Raleigh. Overall, what's usually a 10-12 hour journey at the most ended up being closer to a 19 hour trip and we were just glad to get home!!

I realize I've been posting things sort of out of order... i apologize. Things got so chaotic before the wedding I really didn't have time to post much.

Anyway, the week before the wedding my RB & FG's mom & grandmother organized and hosted my bridal shower. We kept the invite list small- only inviting family, bridesmaids, and wives of the groomsmen as well as a couple of my closer friends who had been invited to the wedding. It ended up being only family who attended which was okay. We had fun and I had sort of been getting anxiety about being the center of attention in front of so many people, even if I did know them.

The food was incredible- spinach balls, mini quiche, personal red velvet cakes, chicken salad sandwiches, the list was endless and it was all made from scratch. We washed it down with champagne punch.

We didn't play any games as most of the guests were older and weren't particularly interested so it was more or less an afternoon get together with a few presents included. It was nice to see everyone getting along since my IL's are divorced and SMIL & MIL don't necessarily like each other. My mum & grandma had never been to a bridal shower before either.

My grandmother got me a lovely peachy-pink negligee set (that I still haven't worn because I'm sort of embarrassed by it. I'm so not a lingerie person) and we also got the usual- towels, cook books, baking pans etc.

Like a lot of brides, I decided to grow my hair out for the wedding so that I could have an elaborate updo if I decided to. I grew it for 2 years and ended up having about 4 inches trimmed off it in June as it was so long that the stylist couldn't do what I wanted with it.

By the time the wedding came, I was desperate to get rid of it- I hate growing it out without keeping it styled etc. (the style I wanted it cut, and the style I wanted for the wedding wouldn't have worked with each other) and I'm not used to having hair past my shoulders as I've tended to keep it around that length since I finished HS several years ago.

Two weeks prior to the wedding I booked a salon appointment with one of my good friends in England. I knew we'd be seeing her as the first part of our honeymoon was to go and spend time in my hometown and I specifically saved the post-wedding chop for her talented hands.

I walked in with hair to the middle of my back and walked out with a chin length style. She was petrified to do it but it looks amazing and I love it!! I actually took a photo of my mother when she was about 27 in with me and told her to do something similar. If I feel like flipping my bangs all charlies angels style, I look EXACTLY like my mum. lol.

In the end, we estimated that she cut approximately 8-10 inches off it! I don't regret it one bit! I feel *so* much better having got rid of all of it. However, one thing I didn't think about- I have a TTD shoot next month and we were going to originally copy my hair & makeup like it was the day of the wedding... now I have to come up with something new to do with short hair! lol.

Even though I'm on my honeymoon at the moment and it's been 2 weeks since the wedding I've still got a ton of photos to get up on here!

2 days before the wedding (thursday night) my sister, mum, MOH & I headed into downtown for a few drinks to celebrate since my first bachelorette party was such a disappointment. My mum & sister got me all the trimmings- the tiara, sash, beads, flashy pin, etc. It was great!! We spent the evening sipping cosmo's & bellini's before a group of older men came to keep us company (and buy us copious amounts of shots!). We had a wonderful time- my mum never goes out anymore, so it was a big occasion for her and I was so glad she came. After we headed out from the bar, we met up with the boys at our local pub, minus the MOH who had to work in the morning. The party continued until the early hours of the morning and everyone was well intoxicated and having a great time. Surprisingly, I didn't wake the next morning with a hangover- not sure how I managed that one!

In a previous entry, I talked about the ceremony- now it's time to move on to the best part of the night, the reception!

Unfortunately, because people were getting antsy and didn't want to wait for an entire hour till we came back from photos, we ended up cutting the cocktail hour short by about 20 minutes.

We had the bridal party introduced to Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night" and they all wore their sunglasses as they came in. Everyone thought it was great and the bridal party loved it- especially since its 2 of the BM's favourite songs.

We walked in to Elvis vs. JXL's remix of "A Little Less Conversation". Once we were in the reception, we immediately had our less than graceful first dance. We decided that "our song" wasn't appropriate or suitable for a first dance (Jake Owen's 8 Second Ride) so we went with Eric Church's "Love Your Love the Most" since Eric Church is a homegrown boy with fabulous music and I'm pretty sure DH has said everything in that song to me at one time or another. Anyway, we managed to get half way through it before I spun away from him, looked at the DJ & the Crowd and went "okay! we're done! our attention span isn't that long, we're hungry and I'm tired of stepping on each other's feet! Lets get the party started!" Everyone laughed, but it was just such an us thing to do. Neither of us had really wanted to do a first dance, and I had only wanted it if we could take dance lessons which FH refused to do. So.. whatever. lol.

Then came the father daughter dance- that was hard. Not because I didn't want to dance with my dad, but because I've only once ever seen him [almost] cry. I decided to pick "Take Good Care of my Baby" by Bobby Vee since he wouldn't pick a song for us and every other song I picked my mother got offended about because she considers them "her songs". (they just recently got divorced. they're still in the process of his & hers.) It was fun and I did manage to get to the end of that one seeing as he didn't step on my feet at all!

The DJ was absolutely incredible and kept people entertained the whole night. He played anything & everything you can think of, from Rat Pack to Def Leppard to DJ Sammy & Groove Coverage over the course of the night. There was definitely something for everyone and the dance floor was full most of the night.

The food was great too- even though I only got a teensy few bites of my plate and I never got to try even half the food we had there. Everyone commented that the prime rib was delicious and they loved the portobello mushroom sliders. They said it was the best food they'd had at a wedding. Make sure you definitely take a box or something along to put food in to take back to your room with you- we were starving by the time we got to the hotel room, and all they could salvage from our buffet was some rolls, a few pieces of shrimp and 2 chicken empanadas each.

We had the Best Man & our Bridesman/Ceremony Reader give a toast. I originally didn't have a MOH (she became MOH on the day!) so I had the bridesman give what would traditionally be the MOH's speech. The Best Man's speech was absolutely hilarious- he's known Chris since he was a kid (the best man's wife used to babysit DH) so he was able to draw on some of that, as well as the fact that he's been married for 15 years. The bridesman's speech was super sappy and really sweet and had nearly the whole room in tears. He can be such an eloquent writer when he wants to be.

Then came the cake cutting which all went sort of wrong. The DJ didn't announce it- he just put the music on (probably because he had no idea what was going on and neither did we) and the photographers were eager to get photos, so we just went ahead and did it. Unfortunately however, the cake design was completely wrong- the tiers were supposed to be round, the fondant ribbon wasn't supposed to be flat and only an inch big... it was supposed to be about 2 or 3 inches thick, rushed and pulled & ruffled with a pearlized sheen to it, and a big soft bow that cascaded down the side. I'd even given the bakery a photo of what I wanted so there's no reason it should've been wrong. I'm still fighting with them about that. The bottom layer was wrong too- there was no strawberry filling in it. It was all chocolate ganache & vanilla buttercream on chocolate sponge which was supposed to be strawberry mousse where the vanilla was. Everyone seemed to enjoy it though so whatever. Unfortunately I only got the 2 bites that I was fed during the cake cutting and I have *no* idea where the rest of it went after the wedding. I know the top tier got put in my car that was taken to the hotel, but no one told us it was there and the buttercream went rancid overnight and had to be thrown out in the morning.

When we did the bouquet and the garter toss we called for everyone to come up- we didn't have enough singletons to warrant doing it that way. I did the bouquet toss & my friend's girlfriend caught it. When it came time for the garter toss, him & the bridesman fought over who was going to catch it. In the end, my friend caught it and put it back on his girlfriend... I don't think I've ever seen a garter get put back on that high before! lmao.

We didn't have a leaving toss and most everyone was gone well before the time we'd allocated (we had expected the reception to end at 10, nearly everyone was gone by 9) which was okay since it meant we had more time to tear everything down, pack it away in the cars and we were outta there by 10:30.

I have spent the past 4 days fighting with 2 of the bridesmaids- one who's decided she can't deal with "how much of a drama queen" I am. (which is total bullshit because all I asked of her was to get her outfit sorted out and do as she was asked/told to the week of the wedding since I didn't want to be a hassle to her during the planning- although picking up the phone once in a while during planning to see how I was doing, or to offer to help with things would've been nice) At least I'm not the one who had a drinking and drugs problem, been in rehab twice and blamed my problem on everyone else. I was the only one that didn't turn my back on her, even when she left me high and dry for 2 years without even an email or text message to tell me she was still alive. And I'm the drama queen? Whatever- fuck it. And then the another one is just being a total bitch for the sake of it.

Because of our situation with the Best Man not being able to attend 3 days before the wedding (long story, but when the general of the army reserve tells you to work or you'll lose your job, you'll work!) put a spanner in the plans, it meant that she had to go and pick up the kegs from total wine as we weren't prepared to pay the markup costs from the caterer to get it through them & she was the only one with a car big enough to get it. When I got to the venue she told me that she'd had to pay $200 extra on the cost of the kegs because the card I'd given her was maxed out. Bullshit. The card was a gift card that still had $311 on it- we were told that it would only be $300 for the kegs. I told her I wanted to see the receipt and in the 5 miles between the store and the venue she'd mysteriously "lost" it. By the end of the night she was telling me I owed her $400. She never thought to call anyone to tell them about the situation while she was at the wine store so that we could speak to a manager and get the issue sorted out, she just took it upon herself. So, at the end of the night when the kegs were still half full, we asked her to take them to finish them off with her friends since they were in her name and she has to be the one to return them otherwise they won't give us back the refund for the taps, buckets etc. She was still trying to say that we owed her $400 when she left.

I've spent the past 4 days fighting with her about it because I finally got a chance to go past the store and get a photo copy of the receipt. The problem with the price was that the cost they had quoted us didn't have the price of one of the taps & buckets in it- it was the managers mistake and he's very apologetic about it. The total she paid was $99- which she would get back when she returns the kegs, as the total cost of the rentals was $160. That means I would get $60 back. HOWEVER, she skipped out on paying for her hair as well, which was another cost I had to cover for her- that brings the total up to $100 that she owes me. On top of that, we'd also bought a $70 bottle of champagne that was specifically for DH and I (and anyone we wanted to share it with)- the BM's boyfriend was our bartender and we told him repeatedly that the champagne was to be kept behind the bar, and not served to anyone except us. (we provided cava for the guests) My SSIL & I only got one tiny glass each and the rest was served to guests and drank by the BM & him. They also invited a bunch of their friends to the wedding. Thankfully only one showed up but I didn't know him which pissed me off- what if we'd had a plated meal and everyone who had RSVP'd had come? There wouldn't have been anywhere to put him! We also got repeated complaints about the BF/Bartender- mostly about the fact that he was dressed inappropriately (the caterer hired him for the day, and requested that he wear black dress pants, white button down, black vest & black tie. He showed up in faded scruffy black pants, unpressed white button down with the top buttons undone, no vest & no tie) and the fact that he stood pouring the drinks with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth half the time. Yes, I'm pissed about all of that, but I'm willing to put it aside so long as she pays me the $100 she owes me- I'll even write off the fact that she didn't bother giving us a present when one of her biggest excuses about why she didn't want to pay for this or that, or attend the bachelorette party, or the shower was because she was saving up to get us a gift.

I realize it's only $100 and I could write it off, but this is the BM that I wanted to kick out and I only kept in the hope that she'd finally pull her act together at the last minute and obviously she didn't. She's the one that made every single decision about the BM's total hell- when I wanted them in one dress, she wanted another. She's the reason we ended up just letting the girls pick their own. And even then she didn't get her dress ordered until May when I wanted them ordered in March. She's the one that fought with me about her shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup- even though all I asked was that they all have the same shoes, and that they get their hair done so that it looked nice. I could care less about their jewelry and makeup. She's the one that bailed on planning my bachelorette party when I told her I didn't want a stripper. It's the principal of it all. And what hurts the most is that I've bent over backwards for her for years- since we were children- to always give her what she wanted/needed and while we've had our differences she's never been as self-absorbed as she is now. I'm at the point where I'm seriously starting to think she's on drugs- she's done a total 180 in her personality over the past 3 years. Once I get the money back from her, it's done. I'm over with her.

As I said in the introductory recap- nothing really went right on our wedding day. The entire thing was just mayhem and chaos.

By the time the ceremony started, our altar decorations had already blown over and shattered into a million pieces (they were 3ft tall vases filled with xmas ornaments & branches), I felt insanely sick, and I really wanted to just push the whole thing back by an hour to try and get over how stressed out I was feeling. I could barely crack a smile coming down the aisle. It wasn't until half way through that I could feel myself relaxing and starting to loosen up.

The ceremony went okay over all. The guests didn't sing along with the hymns that were written into the ceremony which thoroughly annoyed me seeing as it had taken me absolutely ages to track down those particular versions of the songs, and to get the lyrics written out for the programs but whatever. They all complained that the music was too long. *shrug* The minister screwed up my name a few times (my full name's alexis & he kept calling me alexia) and he untied the knot he'd just tied during our handfasting which really upset me even though I kept saying to him not to untie it since we could just slip our hands out.

Half way through the ceremony, I stopped the minister to slip my shoes off as I could feel myself starting to get fuzzy- I was so stressed out from the day that I had a pounding headache, severe nausea and I was so hot from the sun that I thought I was going to pass out. So, I kicked off my shoes so that I could get onto level ground. Everyone thought it was hysterical.

Other than that it all worked perfectly. This was the order of our ceremony:
Family Processional- Handel's Water Music, Hornpipe
(Mum walked down by the bridesman)
(MIL walked with Groom)
(Step-MIL walked w/ FIL)
(Dad walked w/ my Sister)

Bridal Party Processional- Handels Water Music, Air
Brides Processional- Wagners Bridal Chorus

Greeting & Opening Sermon
Poetic Reading- The Art of Marriage
Questions of Intent
Hymn- Holy Holy Holy
Vows & Ring Exchange
The Lords Prayer
Biblical Reading- Corinthians 1:13
Handfasting
Hymn- All Creatures of Our God and King
Final Blessing
Presentation of the Couple

The only thing I'd change would be to have a toss as we were coming back down the aisle & to have a receiving line as guests were leaving the ceremony since I didn't get a chance to speak to, or even meet some of our guests.

lol. So, I don't have the professional photos back- I'm not entirely sure when I'll be getting those but so far I have a pretty good collection of photos from my mum & a couple of our friends who attended the wedding.

A quick recap- The day was a total disaster. We knew it wouldn't go right to begin with after the past couple of weeks of hell, but none of us were prepared for the total mayhem that the day became.

FH & I both knocked back a few too many the night before in the bar after our rehearsal dinner, so we were both feeling pretty hungover the morning of the wedding- not to mention the fact that we didn't actually get home until about 4am. heh. oops. We got the cars packed up in the morning but unfortunately, the bridesman who was in charge of packing them didn't pay attention to what he was doing and was just shoving things in left & right when one car was supposed to go to the venue and the other car was going to the hotel, so we were about an hour behind since it all had to be unpacked and repacked again. By the time we got to the hotel, we were nearly 2 hours behind schedule. The photographers arrived about an hour later than I'd expected.

The major chaos was at the venue however. FH was there in the morning setting up all the lights but had failed to tell me that he'd forgotten his keys when he left the house that morning (I drove the car down there then got a ride to the hotel) and I didn't find out until half way through the day which meant there were no ceremony decorations, the reception wasn't set up properly, and it was a mad rush to get everything sorted out before guests arrived. We didn't have time to get our photos done before the ceremony- we'd allocated 3 hours for group photos & then after the ceremony we were going to take just the photos of me & DH but it worked out that we only ended up having time to take photos for about a half hour to 45 minutes before the reception so I don't have even half the number of photos that I wanted to get. There aren't any fun, messing around photos of the bridal party- just the standard traditional shots.

The ceremony went pretty well- other than when the altar decorations blew over with the one and only gust of wind we got all day, and only 5 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start. It was insanely hot in my dress, and I was feeling pretty ill before I even got out of the hotel even though I'd had something to eat and I was downing water as much as I possibly could. The stress once we got to the venue pretty much threw me overboard. Half way through the ceremony I ended up having to stop the minister to kick off my shoes because I could feel myself swaying. I knew not to lock my knees but the combination of heat, nausea & a pounding headache was just too much and I could feel myself starting to feel fuzzy. Once I got flat footed I was much better. Everyone thought it was hilarious. The other part was that the minister messed up the handfasting by untying the knot at the end of the ceremony when we were just supposed to slip our hands out of it instead.

The reception was pretty good for the most part... the DJ was excellent & the food was amazing. The room even got set up pretty much close to perfect at the last minute. Our caterer definitely saved the day by making sure that the room was perfect. We had our 1st dance and only got half way through it- neither of us can dance and FH refused to go for dance lessons so we ended up stepping all over each other's feet and by half way through my feet were so sore, that I just spun away from him, looked at our DJ and went "okay! we're done! my feet can't handle being stood on anymore!" and the whole room burst into laughter. It was just such an "us" moment- we both have insanely short attention spans so i think people were half expecting it anyway. haha.

My biggest complaints with the reception were that the cake was entirely the wrong design & flavor, the venue didn't do a single thing right so the caterer had to follow up behind them to fix everything they did and the bartender (who was one of the BM's boyfriends) didn't have the correct outfit on and didn't pay attention to what he was serving so the 2 bottles of champagne that was bought for DH & I to share were served to everyone else (they were $70 bottles too!!) instead of the cava we'd purchased for everyone. We also got a few complaints about the fact that he was serving with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth half the time. I'm pretty much certain it was all rigged by him & the BM- I'm currently fighting with her about the beer situation because she went to pick it up and claims that she had to pay an extra $200 for the kegs when I know there's no way she had to- I'd double checked the amount remaining on the cost of the kegs, and the amount remaining on the card so there was no way that she should've had to pay out of pocket for anything. But then again, she's been a total bitch about everything for the past year- I've had to fight with her about every single little thing in the wedding that I needed/wanted her to do so it wouldn't surprise me if she was trying to pull a fast one. I'm not planning on keeping in touch with her anymore unless she bucks up and sorts out her act.

Overall, I'm just really, really glad that it's over. And I'm also pretty happy that I can't really remember much of it, and that the day went by really fast. By the time we got to the big day I was so stressed out that I didn't even want a wedding anymore- I just wanted to be married. From what I can remember of the day, it wasn't particularly great. It was certainly far, far from any dream wedding, and not a single thing really went right. When I think back on what I can recall, i just get pretty miserable and disappointed. I can't wait to get back to a normal life!!

This past week has been a total whirlwind- it's been crazy. And now it's all finally coming to an end...

I GET MARRIED TOMORROW!!

sad thing is... it's only just hit me. haha. Crazy isn't it? I've still got so much today before our rehearsal tonight and then I have to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to start getting ready.

Last night I went out with my mum, sister & head bridesmaid for a few celebratory drinks- pretty sure I won't be drinking at the rehearsal dinner tonight now. haha.

Anyway, I better get my ass into gear and get some stuff done!

So... one groomsman says he's not coming to the wedding anymore because apparently he "forgot" that he had a family reunion this weekend. Fine, whatever- I'm pretty sure its just him being lazy and not wanting to bother... I find it hard to believe that someone just woke up this morning and said "oh, i think we'll have a family reunion on Saturday." So, Chris' mom finally got her wish of having his cousin as a groomsman as much as I can't stand the kid. (He's 21, but he acts and thinks like he's 14. He's one of the few people I've ever met in my life who I want to punch repeatedly in the face without him even saying anything to me because I know just from the constantly screwed look on his face that he doesn't have anything nice to say to me.)

I go out to run some errands, get home and find that the BEST MAN called to say he might not be coming now either because he apparently has a meeting with the general of the united states army (work related) He's a civilian contractor- he writes the software programming for the military. (my dad used to do the same thing when I was a child) Happened to be that the general is on base checking out the situations, got downwind of the fact that this particular project is running over schedule (supposed to be ready by Friday- the officer overseeing the project extended the timeline but never ran it past anyone to make sure that was okay- troops were supposed to start training on it come Monday which means that the extended timeline has put a huge spanner in the plans about it) General got pissed has demanded that it be ready by Monday at the latest or he'll cut the contract. It's a no win situation.

WHAT THE EFF?! who the f*ck cancels as a groomsman/best man 3 days before the wedding?! I didn't just spend 2 years of my life stressing out, running around like a lunatic trying to plan this thing for it to all fall apart days before its set to happen! I swear to god, if I get my hands on them I am going to give them long, slow, torturous deaths.

So, I guess the remaining original groomsman is going to be our best man now, and FH's friend/assistant manager at work is going to step in as our third groomsman now. Everyone's pretty furious about it.

And the icing on the cake is that we finally heard from the original groomsman that decided to stop taking our calls today- apparently the reason he stopped talking to us is because he hates me and blames me as the reason why FH isn't out drinking with him every night etc. these days. (Even though the real reason is that we can't stand his girlfriend and refuse to associate with her)

originally, i was going to have the girls wear their hair however they wanted until realized that one of has a tattoo on top her shoulders back neck area and she'd originally been thinking having up. didn't problem with it, but knew my mother would so asked if mind wearing it in half up-half down just cover particular piece wouldn't completely flip. she like sister me throughout hs knows what mum's had no problems it.

When the other girls asked how they should do their hair, I just sent them in the right direction by telling them how she'll be wearing hers. They've all agreed to have the same style since they think it'll be easiest, and they wanted me to pick the style. I decided to go with something really simple that works for all hair types and just have it pulled back on top with some height at the crown. nothing too huge or over the top, just enough to soften the look. I got them each a rhinestone barrette to wear as well, just to dress things up a bit.

This afternoon my mum, grandma & I all stopped by the lancome counter to pick up a few essentials (they always stock up when they're in the states because it's cheaper for them over here- they're from england) and I decided to have my makeup done how I'd like to wear it for the wedding. I was planning on just getting a couple of eyeshadows.

I loved all of it, so I ended up buying the foundation, concealer, powder & 2 of the eyeshadows she used (I had the third one already). I wanted to get the eyeliner & mascara too but I couldn't bring myself to spend anymore money...

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SPENT $140 ON COSMETICS!! I feel so vain now... but at least I got 2 free gifts for it. haha. more makeup to add to my already expensive collection!

After my hair trial I realized that my hair desperately needs to be recolored- the ends are bright red, the midshaft is about 10 different colors and I have about 4 inches of root growth. When it was all up and done how it'll look at the wedding I decided that it looked absolutely ridiculous to have my scalp one color and the curls another.

So, I'm re-dying my hair tonight. Because I need an even color, I'm stripping it out completely with Color Zap (not bleaching!) twice to make sure its as light as possible and doesn't retain any of the previous dye in it, also to make sure it's evenly stripped (since the stripper is renowned for giving you hot roots when you use it if you're not careful) And then redying it a dark golden brown tomorrow night after giving it 12 hours rest & a deep conditioning treatment.

I tend to do this about once a year- the first time I had wonderful success with stripping it out and redying it (even with 5 years of black dye buildup) to an insanely bright red color. When I tried to do it last year, the beauty gods must've just had a thing against me because it turned out ginger. This time I'm not dying it a red tone so I'm hoping it'll work perfectly. I'll post photos of the finished product.

I considered going to the salon and getting it done professionally, but with the length & thickness of my hair it would've cost me $200+ which I just wasn't prepared to pay when I'm having it all chopped off the week after the wedding. Not to mention, the last time I had it stripped at the salon it took 7 hours, they used bleach and my hair started falling out. So, I'd much rather do it myself. :)

I got an email from Davids Bridal the other day saying that my sash had arrived- that was quick! They'd told me it wouldn't be in until the 25th, and I only ordered it last week. Now I have a gorgeous satin sash to wear with my dress- it really needed it to just pull the whole thing together. I got the S400 sash in Marine & i love that it flares at the ends- it's just enough to make it look like it's a bit more than just a ribbon. I'm planning on tying it like the photo w/ a brooch in it.

While we were in DB's I spied 2 little matching brooches that were the perfect size for my bridesmaids sashes. They were only $12 each and I've been looking around frantically to find decent looking brooches for them. I got them both for $25 and I'm thrilled! they're not exactly what I'd wanted for them but they'll do and they'll love them. lol.

I've looked at *so* many reception dresses... nearly as many as I tried on when I was looking for a wedding dress!

It came down to three, and I really liked all three that I'd narrowed it down to, but I was reluctant to spend the money on one that I wasn't too sure about. So, i looked through DB's sale section & found a white bridesmaids dress that I'd actually tried on when I was looking for a dress for our rehearsal dinner and decided to get it since it was on sale for $99. With shipping it only came to $130!

I'm going to look at the dress when it comes in and see about taking the belt off it so that I can use the sash from my wedding dress on it instead and to give it a pop of color since I'll be wearing navy blue shoes & sapphire jewelry. Hopefully it won't need any alterations.

I've noticed a few girls around here asking about handfastings. We're doing one as a tribute to my celtic heritage and also as our unity ceremony as I really hated the idea of a candle, sand or water- they all seemed so cliche & overdone to me and they really didn't mean a single thing to me.

Anyway, I had a really hard time finding appropriate readings that weren't either too pagan, or too civil so I took apart 2 different readings that I found and put them together to make the wording sound how I wanted it. I thought posting it might inspire some other people- feel free to use it if you like. (and feel free to correct me if anything's wrong)

-----------------------------------

Minister: BRIDE extend your left arm and GROOM please extend your left arm -

They turn to face the Minister, who takes the marriage cord from his neck and drapes it over their joined hands, and wraps it once (alternating between bride and groom) for each of the following lines:

Minister: Now you will no longer fear the storm, for you find shelter in each other.
Now the cold cannot harm you, for you warm each other with love.
Now the rains will bring no sadness, for you give joy to each other’s hearts.
Now the darkness holds no danger, for you will light each other’s way.

The Minister ties the cord, and lays his hand upon the knot in blessing.

Minister: Where there were two paths, there is now one. May your days together be long upon the earth, and your life together filled with joy, for by the words you have spoken and in the sight of gods and man, you are husband and wife.

As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound. Woven into this cord, into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together. With the entwining of this knot do I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last.

In the joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound, one to another. By this cord you are thus bound to your vow. May this knot remain tied for as long as love shall last.

May this cord draw your hands together in love, never to be used in anger. May the vows you have spoken never grow bitter in your mouths.

Two entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to this union. Hold tight to one another through both good times and bad, and watch as your strength grows. Remember that it is not this physical cord, but what it represents, that keeps you together."

Minister to Couple: please repeat after me

Heart to thee,
Soul to thee,
Body to thee,
Forever and always,
So mote it be.

Minister: So mote it be.

Minister unbinds their arms.

We're planning on having a fairly long ceremony which will include two readings. This one will be read by our [honorary] bridesman and it fits his personality so well. It's definitely one of my favourite parts of the ceremony. The other reading will be Corinthians 1:13 that'll be read by Chris' godmother.

"The Art of Marriage"
by Wilferd A. Peterson
LEXI and CHRIS, I know you're eager to kiss and run away to live happily ever after... but before we’re done, I’d like to read to you about the Art of Marriage

In Marriage,
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

well, technically 17, since the counter's a day fast on this site. lol.

So, I've got the ceremony all written up and sorted out with the Minister who absolutely LOVES what I've put together and thinks it's possibly one of the greatest things he's read in the past 20 years. Not to brag about myself but we went with the super traditional style ceremony with a slight twist, a bit of humor thrown in here & there and he thinks it's really refreshing to see a couple go back to tradition these days.

I met with the DJ and got our playlists sorted out, first dances, etc. and I'm so excited that he's doing the music- it'll be amazing!

I spent the morning on the phone with the ministry of deeds to sort out what we'd need for our marriage license, which it turns out isn't much- we were both worried about the fact that we don't know where our SSN cards are but they said it was fine so long as we went to the bank & got a notarized, official letter from the bank saying that we are who we say we are, so Friday we'll head down there and get the license.

I'm still fighting with the Bridal store about my BM's dress that supposedly arrived today... They hung up on her when she called to inquire about it yesterday and they're closed today! So, she'll have to pick it up tomorrow and hopefully they won't give her a hard time about it.

I confirmed the number of attendees with the baker & the caterer this morning, also made sure that their menu's were what we'd decided on.

I have a dress fitting on Friday afternoon and hopefully that'll be the last one until I have to pick it up.

I have another hair trial booked for the 25th w/ my mum present to criticize, critique and condemn. lol.

Sometime this evening I'll have to start working on our programs for everyone as we're having hymns & prayers read in the ceremony so people need something to read to keep up. lol.

Mum gets here on the 22nd and I'll be *so* Thrilled!!! I'm still in search of the perfect after party dress, and a locket though.

So, I'm trying to draw up a rough draft of our service at the moment and I'm not entirely sure of how the order of service should go... We want a 20-30 minute ceremony. This is what I have so far:

Entrance
Introduction
Reading
Questions of Intent
[hymn?]
Vows
Ring Exchange
Prayer
Reading
Unity Ceremony
[hymn?]
Blessing
Conclusion

but... I'm not sure if that's the right order, or if that's even enough to fill 20 minutes to a half hour? I'd like a hymn or two in there as well but I'm not sure where they should go. Can ya'll post the order of your services so I can compare them please?

I'm trying to put together the ceremony music and at the moment I'm stuck on what to have the bridal party walk to...

This is what I have so far:
Prelude: Strauss- Waltz
Seating of the Mothers: Handel- Hornpipe, Water Music
Bridal Party Processional: ????
Bride Processional: Wagner- Bridal Chorus
Hymn: All Things Bright and Beautiful
Unity Ceremony: ???? (something celtic as we're having a hand fasting)
Recessional: Mendelsohnn- Wedding March

I was considering having the bridal party walk down to Handel- Queen of Sheba but I'm worried it's too fast and would be better as a recessional... and I really don't want to do the traditional Canon in D or Bach's Air on the G-String. Any ideas/suggestions?

As for the unity ceremony, we're doing a handfasting so I'd like something celtic played. Issue is... I don't know what. it's been YEARS since I listened to celtic music and I most certainly don't want Greensleeves as FH suggested. lol.

I've been on a mad hunt for silver christmas baubles for the past couple of weeks and I finally found some in Big Lots last week. However, they only came in packs of blue AND silver... none that were just silver. So, I figured with blue being one of our colors, what the hell, we'll just use both in the vases.

However, the baubles are so big that they don't hold the branches in place like I'd planned and I can't for the life of me figure out how to make them stay securely while still being tall enough (we want these things to be about 8ft tall when they're all done) and have the ends hidden by the baubles. So, I bought smaller baubles to put in the top. Still doesn't make a difference. I can't afford to keep buying baubles!!

Anyway, any ideas? The vases will have battery operated fairy lights strung through them as well as the baubles so they'll light up as the sun sets. I sorta feel like the branches need something on them too... but I'm not sure what. Suggestions?

I need to order my reception dress ASAP. I've held out as long as I possibly can trying to find the perfect thing and of course, the perfect thing is way out of my price range, so I'm planning on just getting a Davids Bridal online dress instead.

I've narrowed it down to a couple of dresses I like... but I can't decide which one to get. I included a full length photo of myself so that you can see my body type.

Also, will it look really crazy wierd if I'm wearing navy blue shoes with any of these? I have sapphire jewelry on, and I'm planning on getting a navy handbag too. I just don't want it to look too odd. I do have silver shoes that I could wear, but they absolutely kill my feet and I have no desire to be crippled by the end of the night.

As for the one with the bow on it- I'll be removing that and adding the brooch from my wedding dress to the shoulder of it.

Tonight I decided to go ahead and get all of the bridesmaids presents together to just wrap them up and thats one less thing I have to think about later.

Well, I found half the stuff- but the main present I'd got them is no where to be found! I bought them last year when I was working for avon and I have no clue where I've put them! I bought three and I could only find one which makes me wonder where the hell I've put the other 2 and why they weren't with the first one! aaagh. I'll be really upset if I can't find them- they're the necklaces I'd wanted them to wear with their dresses! How in the hell did I manage to lose them?! ugh. I know I saw them before we moved in January but I can't remember the last time I saw them since then! And I can't order more because they don't offer them anymore!

I've already torn apart every closet in our apartment hoping that maybe I'd accidentally put them in a box or something somewhere and forgotten about it, but I guess tomorrow is going to consist of ripping the garage apart and looking through all of THOSE boxes... the junk I haven't seen in 8 months!

Anyway, apart from the necklaces, the girls are also getting:
- tote bags
- flip flops
- candle/wine charms/picture frame (they're only getting one of these each)
- rhinestone key rings w/ the 1st letter of their 1st name.
- bath salts
- DIY jewelry box
- DIY necklace (maybe.. if the girl who wanted to buy them doesn't get back to me soon)

plus some other random stuff I found when I was looking for their necklaces. They're each getting samples of Wish of Love perfume by Avon & Cynthia Rowley's flower, and a sample of Avon's ultra color rich lip color. Because one of them is OBSESSED with burts bee's lip balm, I'm throwing an unopen tin that I found in there with hers too. lol. (I won't use it- I hate lip balms)

One girl is getting a flower ring I won at an Avon meeting, another girl is getting a peridot bracelet that was ordered for a customer who then didn't want it so I ended up keeping it, thinking I was going to sell it on, and the other is getting a bracelet I'd ordered too many of and never got around to selling. lol.

I was originally going to buy them each something else, that was more personal to each of them but after seeing all this stuff together, I think they're making out like bandits! They'll probably get some other stuff thrown in there too if I find more stuff while I'm cleaning out the garage to find their necklaces. lol.

In the last entry I talked about how we'd decided that I'd just have to settle for a curved plain band since we couldn't find anything that fits well with my e-ring's odd shape.

At one time I'd looked in Zales and found a chevron channel band that sort of worked but it wasn't a perfect fit. Then I'd found a curved channel band at Reeds that sort of worked too. Neither of them sat as close as I wanted to the e-ring and they left a little gap so I continued looking for the perfect ring... with no success.

Anyway, today I met with FH & his friend/manager for dinner and decided to have a wander around the mall when they went back to work- this particular mall has a jewelry store every few steps- Finks, Reeds, Helzburg, Zales & a couple of different private boutiques. Anyway, I stopped in at Finks to look at their plain bands, only to find out that even if they curved a plain band, it still wouldn't sit flush. So, I moved onto Zales and they actually had the band I'd been looking at in the right size for me. seeing it actually together, the right size looked reasonable- and it was $250 for 1/4 ct. The band in Reeds was 1/6th ct for $295. I tried haggling with the guy in the store- asking if I'd get a discount since FH works in the mall, or if we could get some money taken off if he bought his ring there too. He said he'd see what he could do and to bring FH in sometime. I went back down to FH's store, gave him the business card & told him to go see this guy about our rings. Since there was only a half hour till closing, FH's manager told him to go ahead and go look. So we went up there, Chris talked to the guy for a little while and we're getting both rings for $395. That means he's giving us a huge discount on FH's ring, and a reasonable discount on mine- even though he wouldn't admit it when we asked.

I'm so happy! I'll get my sparkly diamonds, and its cheap enough that in 5 years or so we can upgrade it to a custom band without feeling like we've wasted a bunch of money (not to mention, I'd still wear it as a right hand ring since it's pretty.)

With there being less than a month till the wedding, we have to go ahead and buy our rings. We've been putting it off for as long as we can since we've been trying to find a channel set diamond band that would fit with my engagement ring and the search has come up with nothing. I want one that sits snug against the e-ring since my fingers aren't really made to accomodate rings too well- anything too thick or with too much space between the rings would cause problems if I tried to bend my finger. (my hands swell really badly in the summer & it would pinch)

We've discussed getting an insert band, purchasing a new bridal set, having one custom made etc. but we really can't justify the cost of either, or I just don't like them. I had found a curved band that did sit okay with my ring but it wasn't perfect and that irked me- i didn't want to pay $500 for a ring that was going to irritate me because it wasn't perfect & I'm not prepared to have them soldered together either. So, we've come to the conclusion that we're just going to get a solid 2mm gold band for me, and have the jewelers bend it so that it sits around the e-ring perfectly, or as close to perfect as possible and then for either our 1-year or 5-year anniversary, we'll get one custom made for me (depending on how much it'll cost & what our financial situation is like at the time). I'm just sad- I didn't want to have to "upgrade" my ring- I wanted the wedding band that I get married with to be the one I use for the rest of my life. At least it'll only cost us $95+tax, insurance & the cost of getting it sized & fitted. Alternatively, my mother offered me her wedding band to use but I'm reluctant- its a pretty gold herringbone band, but her & my dad JUST got divorced (as in, it was finalized at the end of August) and I sort of feel like it might be bad luck even though I'm not the particularly superstitious type.

FH is doing a similar thing- he's buying a titanium ring at the same jewelers since he knows one of the girls that works there & she'll give us a discount if we buy both our rings there. The ring he actually wanted is currently sold out on etsy & the seller is on a hiatus so there's no way we'd have it in time anyway. I like the fact he's getting a titanium one though- I've been telling him he should get at least a cheap gold or silver one to wear for special occasions (ie- black tie events) just like he has his every day watch and his special occasion watch but he wouldn't listen to me. lol. Now, he'll have both! lol. I just don't think a titanium band with a wooden inlay would look right when you're all dressed up. lol.

I need to buy a locket to wrap around my bouquet that will have my grandfather & my uncle's photos in it in memory of them- they were the only two men I ever pictured myself walking down the aisle with and being given away by. When my grandfather passed in 2003, the next logical choice was my uncle. He passed in 2007, and one of the last things I got a chance to say to him was asking if he'd walk me down the aisle. It meant so much to him. So, to have a locket wrapped around the bouquet means so much to me because then I at least feel like they're with me. I just can't decide which one to get.

Option 1: Sterling Silver Marcasite & Mother-of-Pearl Locket. I like this one because of the religious reference on it. Even though I don't believe in the christian version of heaven and hell, they did and they were both strongly tied to their faith at the end of their days.

Option 2: 4-sided Sapphire Heart Locket. All the jewelry I'm wearing the day of the wedding is sapphire & diamond set in marcasite. I didn't originally want a heart shaped locket for the fact that I think they're a little cliche and a little over done (not to mention, I'm not a fan of heart shaped jewelry at all) but I love this one because it has the room for 4 photos. I was thinking that after the wedding, I could put my grandmother & my mother's photos in it and have the whole family together.

so ladies, please vote!

Thanks to everyone that commented on the last post- I definitely appreciate it. I think we've got their stuff sorted out finally! We went out for brunch with FFIL & FSMIL this morning, then stopped by the country club where we're having our rehearsal dinner. During breakfast the topic of what the boys & dads are wearing came up and we finally agreed on something!

FH is going to wear an ivory-on-ivory pattern tie with an ivory shirt, navy suit and ivory pocket square so that he'll stand out as the groom and match me (my dress is ivory with a navy blue sash.)

The Groomsmen are wearing navy suits with ivory shirts, a navy & fuschia striped tie & a fuschia pocket square.

The dads are wearing navy suits with ivory shirts and a fuschia rose boutonnière. My dad's wearing a fuschia tie with white pin-dots on it and I told FFIL that I didn't mind what tie he wore, just so long as it coordinates.

I'm so glad we've finally got this sorted out!! It'll cost me about $100 to order the ties & pocket squares from Amazon.com but it'll be worth it- the boys ties are doubling as their presents.