This is sapphire2009's Blue Wedding!

Before the wedding, I touched on the fact that I wanted to do something in memory of my loved ones who have passed and couldn't be with us the day of the wedding. I didn't want anything obvious like a candle lighting, a memorial table, or a rose on an open chair. I wanted something that only I would know about, unless I chose to share it with others.

As a little girl, I always pictured my grandmother's companion, Robert, walking me down the aisle- he was the only grandfather I ever knew and we were very close when I was a child. My biological grandfather died before I was born. After Robert passed away in 2003 I decided that my Uncle Paul, my mother's brother, would be the one to walk me down the aisle instead- should I ever decide to marry. Unfortunately however, my uncle passed away in October 2007, shortly after we announced our engagement. One of the last things i had a chance to say to him, was to ask if he would walk me. It became extremely important to me that I find someway of having these two with me on my wedding day. I insisted upon walking alone to honor them- I was never close with my dad growing up, I felt it would be insulting to them to have him walk me down the aisle. I wanted both arms free so that if there are angels, they could walk with me.

I finally decided to honor them by lacing a locket through my bouquet- The locket I ended up using was my grandmothers, and was also my something old. On one side of the locket, I had Robert's photo and on the other side, I had a photo of Paul as a child. I chose to have all of the bouquets, corsages, and boutonnières as roses to honor my [biological] Grandfather who was an avid rose grower. If I had known beforehand that a particular rose existed, I could've had an arrangement made using Falstaff English Roses in memory of them as well. Falstaff was the name of my uncle's horse when he was in the Blues and Royals. I liked the fact that we didn't do anything obvious or that anyone really knew about. It made it even more special to me, and those that did notice the locket and asked about it thought it was one of the sweetest things they'd ever heard of doing.

I asked Chris if he wanted to do anything to honor his granddaddy. He liked the idea of doing something, but he wasn't sure what- and again, he didn't want to do anything too obvious. We ended up deciding to play a song that only those who knew about it, would know that it was for granddaddy. We didn't have the DJ make an announcement of it being a dedication, or in memory of, or anything like that. It was just put on the must play list with an extra note added to it saying that it was extremely important that it be played.

*note: I just got the professional photos back on Saturday. I'll upload them all over the next few days!

(I posted this over at my newly-wed blog, Sapphyre... so I apologize if you've seen it twice)

I'm pretty much obsessed with photographs & documenting the events of life through photos... I especially love going through all the old photos at my mums and laughing at the terrible bouffant '60s hair, or the flared jeans my uncle wore in the '70s, or the dreadful perm my mother had in the 80's that I was obsessed with and cried over when she cut it all off.

When we were staying at my Mum's on our honeymoon, I dragged the box out and started rummaging through it. I didn't have time to get through all of it- there's so many, it would've taken me days! However, I did find a few that I was determined to bring home with me. These included photos of both my parents & my grandparents weddings- I'd always loved my mothers wedding dress, but I'd never seen a photo of my grandparents wedding. Now that I have photos of both, I'm planning on getting a 3-opening frame and having a wedding photo of all three generations of my family in one. It's amazing how much fashion changes just in the few decades between each wedding- funny thing is however, we've all had a dark blue as a main color in our weddings.

My parents actually had 2 weddings. One in the states & one in Britain- it was easier than trying to make one side or the other travel a distance to attend. Both were very small & private weddings- it was family only for the most part, there was no bridal party, etc.

My grandparents were married at the tender age of 19. My grandfather was a sailor in the Royal Navy at the time, and my Grandmother had her 2 sisters as bridesmaids (the two on the far left). We're not sure who the others in the photo are. I love the fact that all the girls are carrying arm bouquets- that's something that just isn't seen so often these days.

The last photo is of my mother when she was a bridesmaid in our cousin's wedding in the late 70's. My mum was in her early 20's at the time.

Last year I bought two of these candle holders from michaels after christmas- they look exactly like the larger one in the picture, except mine are gold, to go with our neutrals color scheme throughout the year, and our gold & red color scheme for christmas.

Usually, I'll just plop a couple of smallish pillar candles in them and keep them on either side of the centerpiece on our dining room table, but I'm getting tired of looking at them like that. I *know* i could do something more creative with them... I just don't know what.

I've thought about filling them with stones & putting a floral arrangement in the top, but that idea doesn't really appeal to me. Nor does the idea of filling them with wrapped candy (since they get pretty narrow around the fluted area).

any ideas?

(Btw- if you like them, they're on sale at michaels currently for 40% off- meaning the larger ones would be about $11 each, i think.)

Now that my wedding's over, I feel like I should probably move on from this place... I don't have much to post to help out other brides these days etc. and while I do still read everyone's blogs daily and post comments where I can, sometimes I feel a little out of place, and a little bit like I'm trying to hold on to something that I should probably let go of- as difficult as it is when you've spent 2 years of your life ENTIRELY dedicated to planning your wedding- and move on...

So, married ladies, what did you do & why did you stay?

I kept 2 separate blogs during my planning. One of every day trials & tribulations, and one dedicated strictly to wedding planning, ideas, & inspiration. Over the past few days, I combined the two blogs, reorganized everything, and gave it a facelift. I'm planning on using it as not only a personal blog, but somewhere to give people inspiration for home decor, recipes, fashion, etc.

This is NOT goodbye- I adore every one of you, I'm just wondering what I'm supposed to do with myself now that I have nothing left to plan and blog about. You've all been amazing in giving me advice on both my WBC blogs (this one & porcelainbride) and I'm really not sure what I would've done without ya'll during my planning craziness. Not to mention, some of ya'lls ideas would work fabulously in decorating our home. lol. I know a little bit of it is post-nuptial depression just because I sunk so much of myself into planning, but part of it is just that I don't have a creative outlet anymore and I need to find a new one.

I'll be posting over at my other blog much more often than I'll be posting here from now on however. If anyone enjoys my blog that much, I'd appreciate it if you'd subscribe & comment occasionally. Anyway, if anyone's interested in following my newlywed blog, here's the link:
Sapphyre... The randomness of a newlywed wife

& if anyone wants to trade links, just lemme know- I'd be happy to post anyone's on my page.

Ryan was absolutely incredible! When we needed him for an extra hour to do the ceremony music because our musicians pulled out at the last minute he had absolutely no problem with accommodating our situation, and played the music for us perfectly- which was fairly complicated (we had several songs played throughout the ceremony) and required him downloading specific songs that weren't in his catalogue.

During the reception all the guests thought he was great and he got pretty much everyone at our 70 guest wedding on the dance floor at some point in the course of the evening. He kept commenting that he thought it was great I knew exactly what I wanted played, but reality was- he was the one that made it so great and kept everyone entertained. I just pointed him in the right direction & let him go. We started off the cocktail hour with rat-pack classics, then slowly moved into more mainstream pop & classic oldies during dinner & the first part of dancing, then kicked it up with more charts & dance music as the night progressed and the older guests left. Island Sound also provided us with all the pink & blue uplights for the reception room which made the room look drop dead gorgeous!

They were well worth the money!

After looking at nearly every venue in Wake County, we opted to go with Lake Johnson. It was well priced (just over $1k for 10 hours rental), a blank canvas as far as decorating it to our tastes went, a natural but pretty area, a perfect sized meeting room and an easily found location.

They were easy enough to work with as far as booking the venue and reserving the date, however when I got home I found we'd been heavily overcharged for our rental- The events coordinator, Clay, seemed to be quite ignorant of the rules, regulations and charges for the venue. I ended up speaking with Coley, the park manager about the situation who knocked nearly $2k off the price of the rental.

Clay was terrible to work with. Every question I asked him couldn't be answered without umming and ahhing for 5 minutes trying to find the answer, he seemed baffled by a lot of things I requested from him (ie- room dimensions & layouts, what could and couldn't be done to the venue, etc.) and most of their contracts were vaguely written. It's sad when the bride knows more about the rules and regulations of the venue than the events coordinator.

The day of the wedding nothing had been set up correctly, if it had been set up at all. We understood that it was our responsibility to set up the decorations etc. and the groomsmen were out there early in the morning getting lights and decorations strung. however, the venue were supposed to set up the seating for the ceremony & the tables for the reception. The caterer & DJ ended up forcing them to get things sorted out as there was no where for them to set up when the tables weren't properly done. They also ended up rearranging the room and the ceremony site so that it was correctly laid out as they didn't follow the layout drawings I'd given them.

Once everything was set up right, the place looked amazing, especially as it was a cloudless, sunny day and our guests loved the scenery. It made for some lovely photos and the juxtaposition of our sleek, modern theme against the natural scenery was breathtaking. I'd recommend the venue, but only if you're planning on having a smaller wedding (less than 70) and you have immense patience with people as it can get rather irritating having to deal with a bunch of men who barely understand what you're asking and don't have any interest in weddings. We're actually considering renting the space again for our 1-year anniversary and hosting a smaller party there to celebrate.

We knew before we even began planning that food & drink would be one of, if not the largest expense in our wedding. We went through several different choices before we decided upon having an appetizer buffet at the reception. I called around to get average quotes and KSI had some of the best prices we heard. Kevin, the owner was so enthusiastic and friendly on the phone and just as pleasant when we met in person- he was actually the only caterer we interviewed. We got such a good feeling from him that everything would be taken care of and perfect that we didn't feel like we needed to look around anymore. We also loved the fact that he was very hands on with his business and extremely involved in the planning and organizing- he didn't just put someone else in charge of everything.

When we went for our tasting he brought us not just a few pieces to nibble on like we'd expected, but 3 entire trays of food that consisted of most everything we were planning on having (other than the prime rib). He went well above our expectations at the tasting and we were eating the trays for the rest of the week as our lunches! He was more than happy to accommodate our special request of portobello mushroom sliders/sandwiches for our vegetarian guests too.

At the wedding he definitely saved the day! The groomsmen were out there in the morning to help set up decorations etc. and had to keep fighting with the venue to get things sorted out and set up- when Kevin arrived he made sure that the venue got their act together and got things done. He also provided us with all the table linens, wine glasses and toasting flutes and made sure that everything was set up and arranged perfectly. He also kept me calm when I got to the venue to find that half our decorations hadn't been properly set up.

All night long everyone kept complimenting the food, saying it was some of the best they'd ever had at a wedding and there was more than enough to go around for seconds, thirds and fourths even! The Prime Rib went over a treat and I think we actually ended up running out of salmon & tuna on the carving station. People loved the mushroom sliders which were incredible. Unfortunately, I barely got a chance to eat at the wedding but the tiny plate I managed to tuck into during the toasts was delightful, as was the small plate of food we managed to salvage to take back to our hotel with us.

If we should ever need a caterer again I will most definitely be using KSI.

Based upon the referrals of several friends who got married over the past few years, we decided to go with this company for our wedding cake. We'd tried a few other bakers, but no one was really up to the standard I was looking for- after all, I needed a cake that would really blow our crowd away & be the centerpiece of our reception.

My mother & I set up an appointment & went to meet with them to discuss ideas, what we were looking for etc. They gave us a wonderful sample plate full of bitesized pieces of cake, icings etc. & we were pretty much in cake heaven. The lobby of the bakery is inviting- demo cakes lining the walls, books & photo albums of cakes to choose from, & it's very comfortably decorated. We sat down and began talking with them. Nothing we asked for seemed to be too much- I'd taken a photo of the cake I wanted in with me & explained that I would for our cake to look exactly like that, only changing the colors on it. They said that was absolutely no problem. The meeting went well & a few weeks later, they gave me a sample box to take home with me so that my DH could try it. He fell in love with it as well & that was that- we were going to book them.

2 weeks before the wedding I went to pay the remaining balance & confirm all the details with them. It all ran smoothly. I had purchased my own cake stand, only to find it was too small & they wouldn't be able to use it. Kindly, they offered to loan me one of theirs at no extra cost & I was grateful.

Come the day of the wedding, I get to the reception to find that the cake design is awful. It's absolutely hideous & NOTHING like I'd asked for. It looked... well, I can't find the words to describe how atrocious it was. The general gist of the design was right, but it wasn't anything like the photo I'd given them. I was devastated. Within an hour of the reception starting, the bow on the middle tier had fallen off (and it was NOT hot in my reception room as they claim it was) & smashed into the side of the cake. My mum & the caterer's did the best they could to try and fix it, but it still looked ridiculous.

When my husband and I cut the cake, we were appalled to find that there was nearly 3 inches of buttercream on the outside of it. The "slice" of cake that we were supposed to feed each other was nearly all buttercream & we couldn't even tell if they got the interior correct.

Talking to my dad the day after the wedding, he said he thought they got the fillings incorrect as he couldn't taste anything but buttercream. (we were supposed to have chocolate cake with chocolate ganache & strawberry mousse on the bottom layer, lemon cake with raspberry puree & lemon curd on the second tier, & chocolate cake with creme de menthe mousse for the top tier) Both my sister & MIL said the same thing. However, I did finally manage to track down the left over pieces of cake & taste them for myself- the bottom layer was correct, however the second tier was missing the lemon curd & I have no idea about the top tier as it got devoured at the wedding.

When I called to ask them about the situation, they were very standoffish with me about it and refused to entertain the idea that it could possibly be wrong. I spent an entire day going back and forth with them on the phone about the situation. Since I needed to go past and drop off the cake stand anyway, I set up a time for my husband and I to sit down with them and talk in person.

I showed them photos of what they'd given us and what we had requested. They admitted they looked nothing alike and couldn't explain why there had been such a big mistake in the design. When I pointed out that I had given them the photo of the cake I wanted, they claimed there was nothing in my file. They also swore up and down that the interior of the cakes were perfect- however, it turns out that the girl taking the order had never written down that I wanted lemon curd in it. The only compensation they offered us was to make another 8-inch cake for us. I DON'T WANT MORE CAKE!! I'M SICK OF FRIGGIN' CAKE!! I told them I wanted a refund of half the cost of the cake. They refused to entertain it- they would give me $45 for the cost of the design or an 8 inch cake and nothing more. That's not enough for me- after all, no amount of money is going to make up for the fact that I spent my wedding night bawling my eyes out in massive fits of sobs because my wedding cake- my one splurge in our excessively tight budget- was completely wrong and I could've made a better cake by myself. I paid $2k for photography- and now I have 25 photos of a cake that's hideous and not even mine. It's not the photographers fault. I can't go after him for that money back. It's their fault. The only response I got was "we can't do anything. it's up to the owner & she's not here right now."

I'm still fighting with them about this a month now & I'm determined that it'll be resolved.

After being referred there by a friend who had great success with them, we decided to order our bridesmaids dresses from them.

A week prior to taking the girls there, I called to ask if an appointment was necessary for bridesmaids, I was told there wasn't any need for one and someone would be happy to help us when we got there. When we arrived we were immediately snapped at about how we didn't have an appointment and how they wouldn't serve us if we didn't. I pointed out that whoever I'd spoken to had said there was no need for one as we were only looking at bridesmaids dresses and that we were prepared to buy them that day. In a huff, the assistant that greeted us mumbled something under her breath as she walked off and got someone to help us. The selection was extremely limited and the girls had a hard time choosing something they liked when they couldn't try it on. The assistant helping us was less than useful. She grudgingly showed us catalogs from the designer and swatches, and had a "what you see is what you get" attitude about everything. Eventually the girls picked and paid for their dresses, and we were told there would be 8-12 weeks shipping on the dresses, meaning they'd be in by the end of August.

In the middle of August I received a phone call from the assistant that had helped us saying that the dress one of my bridesmaids picked wasn't available in navy, but it was available in midnight which, as she described it was a black with blue tint. At the time of ordering them I'd asked repeatedly that she double check and make sure all the dresses came in navy and she reassured me they did. When I asked what could be done about the situation, she snapped back at me saying that the BM had one of three dress choices and that's all they could offer us. I passed this on to the BM who dealt with the situation and ended up picking a different dress but no compensation for the inconvenience was offered and they couldn't even promise that it would be in 2 weeks before the wedding.

The other BM's dress didn't arrive for 17 weeks after ordering. We ordered the dresses in May and it didn't arrive until a week before the wedding- our wedding was Oct 3rd. The store couldn't explain what had taken so long, nor were they willing to work with us on tracking down the dress. When we requested the tracking number be faxed to me so that I could see exactly where it was in transit, they failed to fax it. They hung up on us repeatedly when we'd call to check on the status of it, never returned our calls and kept giving us incorrect dates as to when the dress would arrive. Thankfully when the dress did turn up, the bridesmaid didn't need any alterations. When my husband spoke with the store owner about the situation, they were far more polite to him but still unwilling to try and track down the missing dress until he threatened legal action against them.

I will not be referring them to anyone and I will never use them again for anything. They're overpriced, the store is grotty and outdated with miserable wenches for sales assistants and their customer service leaves something to be desired.

Thursday night we got all dressed up the most fantastic dinner- Since we didn't do a fancy dinner when we were on our honeymoon, we decided to wait and go to one of our favourite restaurants in the area to celebrate our 1 month anniversary instead. I was so stuffed! thai chili prawns, goats cheese stuffed ravioli, she-crab soup, baby greens salad w/ goats cheese, cranberries, pecans & a balsamic dressing, lemon sorbet w/ raspberry puree drizzle, steak & salmon mixed grill, caramel apples w/ raspberry filled shortbread & chocolate bourbon tart.... absolutely incredible! and to top it off- they gave us a vanilla pound cake to say congratulations on our marriage!

If you've never been to the Angus Barn before then you should try it at least once. The steaks are incredible & they're one of the best restaurants in Raleigh. It's always really busy in the dining room, so you'll need a reservation. They also have private dining- the chefs table for 2 in the upper kitchen, and the captains table for 4 in the lower kitchen. The Angus Barn also hosts weddings & events at the Pavillions, & the cellar rooms are a favourite for rehearsal dinners & christmas parties. We booked the Captains Table.

You arrive and get drinks in the lobby, then the manager or assistant manager greets you and takes you down to the lower kitchen and the cellars- you have to go through the main upper kitchen to get there which is certainly an experience! You're then given a brief tour of the wine cellars and taken into the lower kitchen where a private chef creates a menu just for you based on your likes & dislikes (which are asked over the phone when you make the reservation). All the courses have a wine pairing by the sommelier. The table is only available on the nights when they're hosting parties in the lower cellar which at this time of year is 3-4 times a week. It's $100/person all-inclusive and the amount of food you get is ridiculous. I was already full before we even got to the third course. It's a really great value for money since the wine alone can cost $100 if you paid for it separately.

I was talking to my mum earlier about how I'm still reeling from the disappointment of our wedding and I think that in time, I'll get past it, but i'll never totally get over it and there are a A LOT of things I'd do differently if I could do it again. She suggested that I should seriously consider planning a vow renewal for our 5 year anniversary if I'm feeling that awful about everything. She says that since we'd already be married it would be easier, less stressful and since we'd pay for most of it ourselves it could be exactly what I'd wanted in the first place.

Personally, I've always sort of seen vow renewals as the kiss of death in my friends relationships. Every couple I know personally who's done it has ended up announcing their divorce 6 months to a year later- its like they were having problems, decided to have a vow renewal in the hope of fixing those problems and recapturing how they felt as newly weds and when it didn't happen, everything fell apart. That's what puts me off a bit. That and the fact that I don't want to come off as the crazy lady in the family who can't get over the fact that her wedding's come and gone long ago.

But, when my mum puts it in that kind of perspective- not as a replacement to our wedding, but an addition to make me happier and give me better memories it makes me seriously consider it. Especially since it would be only immediate family & closest friends, no bridal party (maybe a best man & a MOH), and it wouldn't be anything dramatic or over the top necessarily, but it would be ours kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

While we were on our honeymoon, DH suggested that we have one at our 1 year, 5 year, or 10 year if I wanted to. But he suggested it as a replacement to our wedding, not as an addition which turned me off the idea. But either way, I know he'd be okay with it if I did choose to.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone else's thoughts on this were?

Since the site is pretty much dead tonight, and as much as I love halloween, we have no plans- the party we were going to go to, the host isn't answering his phone so we can't get directions!- I figure I'll post up a quick recap of our honeymoon.

We flew from Raleigh-Durham to Charlotte, then to Gatwick. Thankfully my MIL got us upgraded from coach to envoy class so we enjoyed the luxury of flying business class. I slept most of the flight there so that I wouldn't be too jetlagged when we landed at 7:10am. (I've done this flight more times than I can count and I'm only now learning how to deal with jetlag. haha) We got through customs & immigration without any problems and met up with one of my friends who had agreed to pick us up at the airport and drive us back to my mum's.

The first week was spent in my hometown- I wanted Chris to see where I grew up, meet some of my friends and family and enjoy the sights of the area. Not to mention, after nearly 3 years of not being there I was starting to get a little homesick. We spent a lot of time relaxing, we visited Duxford Air Museum & Rutland Water- two of my favourite places in the area. I had my hair cut on Wednesday by a good friend of mine, and later that night we spent time in the local village pub getting to know some of my old neighbours. Friday & Saturday night were spent in the pub I used to work at catching up with old friends.

Monday morning we caught the train down to London and checked into our hotel- the Marriott Park Lane which was extremely swanky and high class. Because MIL travels so much and always uses Marriott, we were upgraded to an executive suite so we had access to the executive lounge which provided snacks & drinks for free. We saved a TON of money using that. We also bought day passes for the tube, and walked everywhere that we couldn't get the tube to. Public transport in London is super efficient and while it can be confusing sometimes, it's pretty self-explanatory. We really had no need for a rental car or taxi's.

We spent a lot of time on Oxford Street (seeing as it was just around the corner from the hotel) & visited Selfridges. We did a day at the London Aquarium where we had a near death experience on the elevator- there's a problem with the pulleys and the elevator kept dropping, instead of lowering slowly. We were going to go on the London Eye while we were there but I couldn't do it. I'm too terrified of heights. We spent a day going around my favourite shopping area of all time- Camden Market- where Chris felt like he was in hell. He's not particularly good at tolerating the alternative/goth/punk scenes which is the foundation of Camden Market. He was well behaved though. We also did a day where we went to the London Dungeons (so much fun with LOTS of history & education!! It is expensive though) walked over Tower Bridge (which everyone seems to think is London Bridge... London Bridge is actually at Lake Havasu City, Arizona these days & there's really nothing special about New London Bridge) & went to the Tower of London. We also went shopping in my favourite department store- Fortnum & Masons. (I refuse to set foot anywhere near Harrods & Fortnums has better quality stuff.)

We would've liked to have done more, like see the Buckingham Palace, go to the London Zoo, see a musical in the West End, etc. but we just didn't have the time. We had originally been planning on having a nice dinner & a night out on the town while we were there, but thought better of it after spending £300 on dinner & drinks at the hotel bar & restaurant. We're going to a nice place near our house later this week as our celebratory dinner instead and it'll only cost half the price of if we'd gone out in London!

Friday morning we were up and out of the hotel by 7am, catching the train to Gatwick at 7:15 and on our flight by 10am. Unfortunately however, we were delayed for nearly 2 hours on the tarmac with no air conditioning and had to return to the gate twice because a valve in one of the engines wouldn't open. Chris ended up taking a panic attack (he's not good with flying at all... especially not in coach) when they declared we were returning to the gate for the second time for engine problems. The rest of the flight was pretty awful- we had a horrible air hostess who refused to do anything for us, her response was always "get it yourself" and we weren't even supposed to be seated in coach, but our flight had been overbooked and they were the only seats they could offer us unless we wanted to wait an extra 3 days. By the time our flight landed in Charlotte, we'd missed our connection and had to wait 2 hours for the next flight to Raleigh. Overall, what's usually a 10-12 hour journey at the most ended up being closer to a 19 hour trip and we were just glad to get home!!

I realize I've been posting things sort of out of order... i apologize. Things got so chaotic before the wedding I really didn't have time to post much.

Anyway, the week before the wedding my RB & FG's mom & grandmother organized and hosted my bridal shower. We kept the invite list small- only inviting family, bridesmaids, and wives of the groomsmen as well as a couple of my closer friends who had been invited to the wedding. It ended up being only family who attended which was okay. We had fun and I had sort of been getting anxiety about being the center of attention in front of so many people, even if I did know them.

The food was incredible- spinach balls, mini quiche, personal red velvet cakes, chicken salad sandwiches, the list was endless and it was all made from scratch. We washed it down with champagne punch.

We didn't play any games as most of the guests were older and weren't particularly interested so it was more or less an afternoon get together with a few presents included. It was nice to see everyone getting along since my IL's are divorced and SMIL & MIL don't necessarily like each other. My mum & grandma had never been to a bridal shower before either.

My grandmother got me a lovely peachy-pink negligee set (that I still haven't worn because I'm sort of embarrassed by it. I'm so not a lingerie person) and we also got the usual- towels, cook books, baking pans etc.

Like a lot of brides, I decided to grow my hair out for the wedding so that I could have an elaborate updo if I decided to. I grew it for 2 years and ended up having about 4 inches trimmed off it in June as it was so long that the stylist couldn't do what I wanted with it.

By the time the wedding came, I was desperate to get rid of it- I hate growing it out without keeping it styled etc. (the style I wanted it cut, and the style I wanted for the wedding wouldn't have worked with each other) and I'm not used to having hair past my shoulders as I've tended to keep it around that length since I finished HS several years ago.

Two weeks prior to the wedding I booked a salon appointment with one of my good friends in England. I knew we'd be seeing her as the first part of our honeymoon was to go and spend time in my hometown and I specifically saved the post-wedding chop for her talented hands.

I walked in with hair to the middle of my back and walked out with a chin length style. She was petrified to do it but it looks amazing and I love it!! I actually took a photo of my mother when she was about 27 in with me and told her to do something similar. If I feel like flipping my bangs all charlies angels style, I look EXACTLY like my mum. lol.

In the end, we estimated that she cut approximately 8-10 inches off it! I don't regret it one bit! I feel *so* much better having got rid of all of it. However, one thing I didn't think about- I have a TTD shoot next month and we were going to originally copy my hair & makeup like it was the day of the wedding... now I have to come up with something new to do with short hair! lol.

Even though I'm on my honeymoon at the moment and it's been 2 weeks since the wedding I've still got a ton of photos to get up on here!

2 days before the wedding (thursday night) my sister, mum, MOH & I headed into downtown for a few drinks to celebrate since my first bachelorette party was such a disappointment. My mum & sister got me all the trimmings- the tiara, sash, beads, flashy pin, etc. It was great!! We spent the evening sipping cosmo's & bellini's before a group of older men came to keep us company (and buy us copious amounts of shots!). We had a wonderful time- my mum never goes out anymore, so it was a big occasion for her and I was so glad she came. After we headed out from the bar, we met up with the boys at our local pub, minus the MOH who had to work in the morning. The party continued until the early hours of the morning and everyone was well intoxicated and having a great time. Surprisingly, I didn't wake the next morning with a hangover- not sure how I managed that one!

In a previous entry, I talked about the ceremony- now it's time to move on to the best part of the night, the reception!

Unfortunately, because people were getting antsy and didn't want to wait for an entire hour till we came back from photos, we ended up cutting the cocktail hour short by about 20 minutes.

We had the bridal party introduced to Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night" and they all wore their sunglasses as they came in. Everyone thought it was great and the bridal party loved it- especially since its 2 of the BM's favourite songs.

We walked in to Elvis vs. JXL's remix of "A Little Less Conversation". Once we were in the reception, we immediately had our less than graceful first dance. We decided that "our song" wasn't appropriate or suitable for a first dance (Jake Owen's 8 Second Ride) so we went with Eric Church's "Love Your Love the Most" since Eric Church is a homegrown boy with fabulous music and I'm pretty sure DH has said everything in that song to me at one time or another. Anyway, we managed to get half way through it before I spun away from him, looked at the DJ & the Crowd and went "okay! we're done! our attention span isn't that long, we're hungry and I'm tired of stepping on each other's feet! Lets get the party started!" Everyone laughed, but it was just such an us thing to do. Neither of us had really wanted to do a first dance, and I had only wanted it if we could take dance lessons which FH refused to do. So.. whatever. lol.

Then came the father daughter dance- that was hard. Not because I didn't want to dance with my dad, but because I've only once ever seen him [almost] cry. I decided to pick "Take Good Care of my Baby" by Bobby Vee since he wouldn't pick a song for us and every other song I picked my mother got offended about because she considers them "her songs". (they just recently got divorced. they're still in the process of his & hers.) It was fun and I did manage to get to the end of that one seeing as he didn't step on my feet at all!

The DJ was absolutely incredible and kept people entertained the whole night. He played anything & everything you can think of, from Rat Pack to Def Leppard to DJ Sammy & Groove Coverage over the course of the night. There was definitely something for everyone and the dance floor was full most of the night.

The food was great too- even though I only got a teensy few bites of my plate and I never got to try even half the food we had there. Everyone commented that the prime rib was delicious and they loved the portobello mushroom sliders. They said it was the best food they'd had at a wedding. Make sure you definitely take a box or something along to put food in to take back to your room with you- we were starving by the time we got to the hotel room, and all they could salvage from our buffet was some rolls, a few pieces of shrimp and 2 chicken empanadas each.

We had the Best Man & our Bridesman/Ceremony Reader give a toast. I originally didn't have a MOH (she became MOH on the day!) so I had the bridesman give what would traditionally be the MOH's speech. The Best Man's speech was absolutely hilarious- he's known Chris since he was a kid (the best man's wife used to babysit DH) so he was able to draw on some of that, as well as the fact that he's been married for 15 years. The bridesman's speech was super sappy and really sweet and had nearly the whole room in tears. He can be such an eloquent writer when he wants to be.

Then came the cake cutting which all went sort of wrong. The DJ didn't announce it- he just put the music on (probably because he had no idea what was going on and neither did we) and the photographers were eager to get photos, so we just went ahead and did it. Unfortunately however, the cake design was completely wrong- the tiers were supposed to be round, the fondant ribbon wasn't supposed to be flat and only an inch big... it was supposed to be about 2 or 3 inches thick, rushed and pulled & ruffled with a pearlized sheen to it, and a big soft bow that cascaded down the side. I'd even given the bakery a photo of what I wanted so there's no reason it should've been wrong. I'm still fighting with them about that. The bottom layer was wrong too- there was no strawberry filling in it. It was all chocolate ganache & vanilla buttercream on chocolate sponge which was supposed to be strawberry mousse where the vanilla was. Everyone seemed to enjoy it though so whatever. Unfortunately I only got the 2 bites that I was fed during the cake cutting and I have *no* idea where the rest of it went after the wedding. I know the top tier got put in my car that was taken to the hotel, but no one told us it was there and the buttercream went rancid overnight and had to be thrown out in the morning.

When we did the bouquet and the garter toss we called for everyone to come up- we didn't have enough singletons to warrant doing it that way. I did the bouquet toss & my friend's girlfriend caught it. When it came time for the garter toss, him & the bridesman fought over who was going to catch it. In the end, my friend caught it and put it back on his girlfriend... I don't think I've ever seen a garter get put back on that high before! lmao.

We didn't have a leaving toss and most everyone was gone well before the time we'd allocated (we had expected the reception to end at 10, nearly everyone was gone by 9) which was okay since it meant we had more time to tear everything down, pack it away in the cars and we were outta there by 10:30.

I have spent the past 4 days fighting with 2 of the bridesmaids- one who's decided she can't deal with "how much of a drama queen" I am. (which is total bullshit because all I asked of her was to get her outfit sorted out and do as she was asked/told to the week of the wedding since I didn't want to be a hassle to her during the planning- although picking up the phone once in a while during planning to see how I was doing, or to offer to help with things would've been nice) At least I'm not the one who had a drinking and drugs problem, been in rehab twice and blamed my problem on everyone else. I was the only one that didn't turn my back on her, even when she left me high and dry for 2 years without even an email or text message to tell me she was still alive. And I'm the drama queen? Whatever- fuck it. And then the another one is just being a total bitch for the sake of it.

Because of our situation with the Best Man not being able to attend 3 days before the wedding (long story, but when the general of the army reserve tells you to work or you'll lose your job, you'll work!) put a spanner in the plans, it meant that she had to go and pick up the kegs from total wine as we weren't prepared to pay the markup costs from the caterer to get it through them & she was the only one with a car big enough to get it. When I got to the venue she told me that she'd had to pay $200 extra on the cost of the kegs because the card I'd given her was maxed out. Bullshit. The card was a gift card that still had $311 on it- we were told that it would only be $300 for the kegs. I told her I wanted to see the receipt and in the 5 miles between the store and the venue she'd mysteriously "lost" it. By the end of the night she was telling me I owed her $400. She never thought to call anyone to tell them about the situation while she was at the wine store so that we could speak to a manager and get the issue sorted out, she just took it upon herself. So, at the end of the night when the kegs were still half full, we asked her to take them to finish them off with her friends since they were in her name and she has to be the one to return them otherwise they won't give us back the refund for the taps, buckets etc. She was still trying to say that we owed her $400 when she left.

I've spent the past 4 days fighting with her about it because I finally got a chance to go past the store and get a photo copy of the receipt. The problem with the price was that the cost they had quoted us didn't have the price of one of the taps & buckets in it- it was the managers mistake and he's very apologetic about it. The total she paid was $99- which she would get back when she returns the kegs, as the total cost of the rentals was $160. That means I would get $60 back. HOWEVER, she skipped out on paying for her hair as well, which was another cost I had to cover for her- that brings the total up to $100 that she owes me. On top of that, we'd also bought a $70 bottle of champagne that was specifically for DH and I (and anyone we wanted to share it with)- the BM's boyfriend was our bartender and we told him repeatedly that the champagne was to be kept behind the bar, and not served to anyone except us. (we provided cava for the guests) My SSIL & I only got one tiny glass each and the rest was served to guests and drank by the BM & him. They also invited a bunch of their friends to the wedding. Thankfully only one showed up but I didn't know him which pissed me off- what if we'd had a plated meal and everyone who had RSVP'd had come? There wouldn't have been anywhere to put him! We also got repeated complaints about the BF/Bartender- mostly about the fact that he was dressed inappropriately (the caterer hired him for the day, and requested that he wear black dress pants, white button down, black vest & black tie. He showed up in faded scruffy black pants, unpressed white button down with the top buttons undone, no vest & no tie) and the fact that he stood pouring the drinks with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth half the time. Yes, I'm pissed about all of that, but I'm willing to put it aside so long as she pays me the $100 she owes me- I'll even write off the fact that she didn't bother giving us a present when one of her biggest excuses about why she didn't want to pay for this or that, or attend the bachelorette party, or the shower was because she was saving up to get us a gift.

I realize it's only $100 and I could write it off, but this is the BM that I wanted to kick out and I only kept in the hope that she'd finally pull her act together at the last minute and obviously she didn't. She's the one that made every single decision about the BM's total hell- when I wanted them in one dress, she wanted another. She's the reason we ended up just letting the girls pick their own. And even then she didn't get her dress ordered until May when I wanted them ordered in March. She's the one that fought with me about her shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup- even though all I asked was that they all have the same shoes, and that they get their hair done so that it looked nice. I could care less about their jewelry and makeup. She's the one that bailed on planning my bachelorette party when I told her I didn't want a stripper. It's the principal of it all. And what hurts the most is that I've bent over backwards for her for years- since we were children- to always give her what she wanted/needed and while we've had our differences she's never been as self-absorbed as she is now. I'm at the point where I'm seriously starting to think she's on drugs- she's done a total 180 in her personality over the past 3 years. Once I get the money back from her, it's done. I'm over with her.

As I said in the introductory recap- nothing really went right on our wedding day. The entire thing was just mayhem and chaos.

By the time the ceremony started, our altar decorations had already blown over and shattered into a million pieces (they were 3ft tall vases filled with xmas ornaments & branches), I felt insanely sick, and I really wanted to just push the whole thing back by an hour to try and get over how stressed out I was feeling. I could barely crack a smile coming down the aisle. It wasn't until half way through that I could feel myself relaxing and starting to loosen up.

The ceremony went okay over all. The guests didn't sing along with the hymns that were written into the ceremony which thoroughly annoyed me seeing as it had taken me absolutely ages to track down those particular versions of the songs, and to get the lyrics written out for the programs but whatever. They all complained that the music was too long. *shrug* The minister screwed up my name a few times (my full name's alexis & he kept calling me alexia) and he untied the knot he'd just tied during our handfasting which really upset me even though I kept saying to him not to untie it since we could just slip our hands out.

Half way through the ceremony, I stopped the minister to slip my shoes off as I could feel myself starting to get fuzzy- I was so stressed out from the day that I had a pounding headache, severe nausea and I was so hot from the sun that I thought I was going to pass out. So, I kicked off my shoes so that I could get onto level ground. Everyone thought it was hysterical.

Other than that it all worked perfectly. This was the order of our ceremony:
Family Processional- Handel's Water Music, Hornpipe
(Mum walked down by the bridesman)
(MIL walked with Groom)
(Step-MIL walked w/ FIL)
(Dad walked w/ my Sister)

Bridal Party Processional- Handels Water Music, Air
Brides Processional- Wagners Bridal Chorus

Greeting & Opening Sermon
Poetic Reading- The Art of Marriage
Questions of Intent
Hymn- Holy Holy Holy
Vows & Ring Exchange
The Lords Prayer
Biblical Reading- Corinthians 1:13
Handfasting
Hymn- All Creatures of Our God and King
Final Blessing
Presentation of the Couple

The only thing I'd change would be to have a toss as we were coming back down the aisle & to have a receiving line as guests were leaving the ceremony since I didn't get a chance to speak to, or even meet some of our guests.

lol. So, I don't have the professional photos back- I'm not entirely sure when I'll be getting those but so far I have a pretty good collection of photos from my mum & a couple of our friends who attended the wedding.

A quick recap- The day was a total disaster. We knew it wouldn't go right to begin with after the past couple of weeks of hell, but none of us were prepared for the total mayhem that the day became.

FH & I both knocked back a few too many the night before in the bar after our rehearsal dinner, so we were both feeling pretty hungover the morning of the wedding- not to mention the fact that we didn't actually get home until about 4am. heh. oops. We got the cars packed up in the morning but unfortunately, the bridesman who was in charge of packing them didn't pay attention to what he was doing and was just shoving things in left & right when one car was supposed to go to the venue and the other car was going to the hotel, so we were about an hour behind since it all had to be unpacked and repacked again. By the time we got to the hotel, we were nearly 2 hours behind schedule. The photographers arrived about an hour later than I'd expected.

The major chaos was at the venue however. FH was there in the morning setting up all the lights but had failed to tell me that he'd forgotten his keys when he left the house that morning (I drove the car down there then got a ride to the hotel) and I didn't find out until half way through the day which meant there were no ceremony decorations, the reception wasn't set up properly, and it was a mad rush to get everything sorted out before guests arrived. We didn't have time to get our photos done before the ceremony- we'd allocated 3 hours for group photos & then after the ceremony we were going to take just the photos of me & DH but it worked out that we only ended up having time to take photos for about a half hour to 45 minutes before the reception so I don't have even half the number of photos that I wanted to get. There aren't any fun, messing around photos of the bridal party- just the standard traditional shots.

The ceremony went pretty well- other than when the altar decorations blew over with the one and only gust of wind we got all day, and only 5 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start. It was insanely hot in my dress, and I was feeling pretty ill before I even got out of the hotel even though I'd had something to eat and I was downing water as much as I possibly could. The stress once we got to the venue pretty much threw me overboard. Half way through the ceremony I ended up having to stop the minister to kick off my shoes because I could feel myself swaying. I knew not to lock my knees but the combination of heat, nausea & a pounding headache was just too much and I could feel myself starting to feel fuzzy. Once I got flat footed I was much better. Everyone thought it was hilarious. The other part was that the minister messed up the handfasting by untying the knot at the end of the ceremony when we were just supposed to slip our hands out of it instead.

The reception was pretty good for the most part... the DJ was excellent & the food was amazing. The room even got set up pretty much close to perfect at the last minute. Our caterer definitely saved the day by making sure that the room was perfect. We had our 1st dance and only got half way through it- neither of us can dance and FH refused to go for dance lessons so we ended up stepping all over each other's feet and by half way through my feet were so sore, that I just spun away from him, looked at our DJ and went "okay! we're done! my feet can't handle being stood on anymore!" and the whole room burst into laughter. It was just such an "us" moment- we both have insanely short attention spans so i think people were half expecting it anyway. haha.

My biggest complaints with the reception were that the cake was entirely the wrong design & flavor, the venue didn't do a single thing right so the caterer had to follow up behind them to fix everything they did and the bartender (who was one of the BM's boyfriends) didn't have the correct outfit on and didn't pay attention to what he was serving so the 2 bottles of champagne that was bought for DH & I to share were served to everyone else (they were $70 bottles too!!) instead of the cava we'd purchased for everyone. We also got a few complaints about the fact that he was serving with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth half the time. I'm pretty much certain it was all rigged by him & the BM- I'm currently fighting with her about the beer situation because she went to pick it up and claims that she had to pay an extra $200 for the kegs when I know there's no way she had to- I'd double checked the amount remaining on the cost of the kegs, and the amount remaining on the card so there was no way that she should've had to pay out of pocket for anything. But then again, she's been a total bitch about everything for the past year- I've had to fight with her about every single little thing in the wedding that I needed/wanted her to do so it wouldn't surprise me if she was trying to pull a fast one. I'm not planning on keeping in touch with her anymore unless she bucks up and sorts out her act.

Overall, I'm just really, really glad that it's over. And I'm also pretty happy that I can't really remember much of it, and that the day went by really fast. By the time we got to the big day I was so stressed out that I didn't even want a wedding anymore- I just wanted to be married. From what I can remember of the day, it wasn't particularly great. It was certainly far, far from any dream wedding, and not a single thing really went right. When I think back on what I can recall, i just get pretty miserable and disappointed. I can't wait to get back to a normal life!!

This past week has been a total whirlwind- it's been crazy. And now it's all finally coming to an end...

I GET MARRIED TOMORROW!!

sad thing is... it's only just hit me. haha. Crazy isn't it? I've still got so much today before our rehearsal tonight and then I have to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to start getting ready.

Last night I went out with my mum, sister & head bridesmaid for a few celebratory drinks- pretty sure I won't be drinking at the rehearsal dinner tonight now. haha.

Anyway, I better get my ass into gear and get some stuff done!

So... one groomsman says he's not coming to the wedding anymore because apparently he "forgot" that he had a family reunion this weekend. Fine, whatever- I'm pretty sure its just him being lazy and not wanting to bother... I find it hard to believe that someone just woke up this morning and said "oh, i think we'll have a family reunion on Saturday." So, Chris' mom finally got her wish of having his cousin as a groomsman as much as I can't stand the kid. (He's 21, but he acts and thinks like he's 14. He's one of the few people I've ever met in my life who I want to punch repeatedly in the face without him even saying anything to me because I know just from the constantly screwed look on his face that he doesn't have anything nice to say to me.)

I go out to run some errands, get home and find that the BEST MAN called to say he might not be coming now either because he apparently has a meeting with the general of the united states army (work related) He's a civilian contractor- he writes the software programming for the military. (my dad used to do the same thing when I was a child) Happened to be that the general is on base checking out the situations, got downwind of the fact that this particular project is running over schedule (supposed to be ready by Friday- the officer overseeing the project extended the timeline but never ran it past anyone to make sure that was okay- troops were supposed to start training on it come Monday which means that the extended timeline has put a huge spanner in the plans about it) General got pissed has demanded that it be ready by Monday at the latest or he'll cut the contract. It's a no win situation.

WHAT THE EFF?! who the f*ck cancels as a groomsman/best man 3 days before the wedding?! I didn't just spend 2 years of my life stressing out, running around like a lunatic trying to plan this thing for it to all fall apart days before its set to happen! I swear to god, if I get my hands on them I am going to give them long, slow, torturous deaths.

So, I guess the remaining original groomsman is going to be our best man now, and FH's friend/assistant manager at work is going to step in as our third groomsman now. Everyone's pretty furious about it.

And the icing on the cake is that we finally heard from the original groomsman that decided to stop taking our calls today- apparently the reason he stopped talking to us is because he hates me and blames me as the reason why FH isn't out drinking with him every night etc. these days. (Even though the real reason is that we can't stand his girlfriend and refuse to associate with her)

originally, i was going to have the girls wear their hair however they wanted until realized that one of has a tattoo on top her shoulders back neck area and she'd originally been thinking having up. didn't problem with it, but knew my mother would so asked if mind wearing it in half up-half down just cover particular piece wouldn't completely flip. she like sister me throughout hs knows what mum's had no problems it.

When the other girls asked how they should do their hair, I just sent them in the right direction by telling them how she'll be wearing hers. They've all agreed to have the same style since they think it'll be easiest, and they wanted me to pick the style. I decided to go with something really simple that works for all hair types and just have it pulled back on top with some height at the crown. nothing too huge or over the top, just enough to soften the look. I got them each a rhinestone barrette to wear as well, just to dress things up a bit.

This afternoon my mum, grandma & I all stopped by the lancome counter to pick up a few essentials (they always stock up when they're in the states because it's cheaper for them over here- they're from england) and I decided to have my makeup done how I'd like to wear it for the wedding. I was planning on just getting a couple of eyeshadows.

I loved all of it, so I ended up buying the foundation, concealer, powder & 2 of the eyeshadows she used (I had the third one already). I wanted to get the eyeliner & mascara too but I couldn't bring myself to spend anymore money...

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SPENT $140 ON COSMETICS!! I feel so vain now... but at least I got 2 free gifts for it. haha. more makeup to add to my already expensive collection!

After my hair trial I realized that my hair desperately needs to be recolored- the ends are bright red, the midshaft is about 10 different colors and I have about 4 inches of root growth. When it was all up and done how it'll look at the wedding I decided that it looked absolutely ridiculous to have my scalp one color and the curls another.

So, I'm re-dying my hair tonight. Because I need an even color, I'm stripping it out completely with Color Zap (not bleaching!) twice to make sure its as light as possible and doesn't retain any of the previous dye in it, also to make sure it's evenly stripped (since the stripper is renowned for giving you hot roots when you use it if you're not careful) And then redying it a dark golden brown tomorrow night after giving it 12 hours rest & a deep conditioning treatment.

I tend to do this about once a year- the first time I had wonderful success with stripping it out and redying it (even with 5 years of black dye buildup) to an insanely bright red color. When I tried to do it last year, the beauty gods must've just had a thing against me because it turned out ginger. This time I'm not dying it a red tone so I'm hoping it'll work perfectly. I'll post photos of the finished product.

I considered going to the salon and getting it done professionally, but with the length & thickness of my hair it would've cost me $200+ which I just wasn't prepared to pay when I'm having it all chopped off the week after the wedding. Not to mention, the last time I had it stripped at the salon it took 7 hours, they used bleach and my hair started falling out. So, I'd much rather do it myself. :)

I got an email from Davids Bridal the other day saying that my sash had arrived- that was quick! They'd told me it wouldn't be in until the 25th, and I only ordered it last week. Now I have a gorgeous satin sash to wear with my dress- it really needed it to just pull the whole thing together. I got the S400 sash in Marine & i love that it flares at the ends- it's just enough to make it look like it's a bit more than just a ribbon. I'm planning on tying it like the photo w/ a brooch in it.

While we were in DB's I spied 2 little matching brooches that were the perfect size for my bridesmaids sashes. They were only $12 each and I've been looking around frantically to find decent looking brooches for them. I got them both for $25 and I'm thrilled! they're not exactly what I'd wanted for them but they'll do and they'll love them. lol.