So this guy created a website that sets up your webcam & computer so that you can take photoboot...
Officially not getting married...
.. at least not in 4 months...
An update to my last post...
After a few long and hard conversations, I've realized that we are are really not compatible... Despite the lack of passion and drive on his part, I don't think he's a bad person, I just don't think we are right for each other. Yes, we can have a whole lot of fun together, but together as a team, we aren't very strong...
I'm not sure what is going to happen to our relationship - I'm not sure if counseling will help or just reveal that I'm already taking steps in the right direction. But - I have officially called off the wedding in September. I have cancelled the photographer, the caterer, the venue.... the reverend is next... this is the most painful thing to go through - and I know when its all over, I still have our living situation to sort through. This is going to be a long long road... but I will prevail.
I may not become Mrs. Miller in 4 months...
I'm going out on a limb with this post - a little nervous to be this honest with the world... but I'm slowly dying inside and I could really use some advice. I am writing this post with the hopes that someone out there has been in my shoes - or knows someone who has been... and can offer some perspective, or at the very least maybe make me feel like I'm not 100% alone...
I may not become Mrs. Miller in 4 months... I may not become Mrs. Miller at all... I am thinking about not only postponing my wedding, but calling it off completely. Here is my story...
I fell in love - hard and fast. My FH seemed to have it so "put together" when we first met -- a plan to go back to school and sit for his exams to become a teacher (he was a full time bartender when I met him who quit his job as a personal trainer because of the politics). He had ambition and drive - options and personality. He made me laugh, and he picked me up when I cried. He held my hand through the good and and the bad. He was full speed ahead - he made decisions - he seemed to know where he was going in life - and he certainly knew what he wanted in life...
We moved in together (very quickly actually... we had only been together for 4 months...). 3 months later he was down on one knee and I was delighted that I fit in with his future. But my mistake was never digging deeper into what the future looked like..
About a year later, I realized that he had done nothing he once said he would do - he still wasn't subbing, had yet to look into schools or ed programs - still had yet to even talk to a friend who went through a career change to teach in our state... He was content with a part-time minimum-wage job at 26 that kept him busy at all hours of the day and on weekends and had no ambitions to even look for a better job. He thought that bartending on the side was just fine and that there was no need for a real job as well. I caught him in a string of lies as well after his gym shut down. (Nothing in relation to infidelity don't worry!!)
I had to fight him into a full time job with benefits after his gym shut down... also had to fight him into applying for unemployment in between jobs. He would rather stay at home and play Mr. Mom all day doing laundry (but yet the house was never clean... go figure...) That's also when he started to pressure me into having kids sooner than I'm comfortable with. Bringing home photos of him holdings babies and leaving them on the kitchen table for me to stumble upon in the morning... we are talking strange babies that I've never even seen before!!
Anyway - I degrees... I brought up some key issues with him 2 months ago - he admitted to not having any goals or ever thinking about a future... he promised to work on them - and nothing has happened in the past 2 months other than that he swore up and down that he goal was actually to become a physical therapist. Since he declared that, he's done nothing but attempt to find short cuts to doing it and finally admitted last night to not even thinking its want he wanted. I'm completely supportive if it isn't what he wants - but the man has no clue what he wants in life.... How can I possibly marry someone who doesn't even know who they are??
He admitted to not knowing who he was and what he wants in life this morning... again, something he swore up and down that he knew over a month ago.. I've had just about enough with the lies and deception.
I finally walked out last night after all he could tell me about himself is that "he needed me in it" but couldn't tell me anything else about who it is, what he wants, or why he wants me in his life... He was just so desperate to have me in his life... but yet he didn't come after me when I retreated to our bedroom, when I left our house, or when I came back and again retreated to our bedroom....
Is it wrong of me to not be comfortable marrying someone I don't feel like I know? Is is normal to have more than just cold feet in this type of situation? I am so nervous that if I call off the wedding or even push it back people are going to think badly of me... or of him... and if we do still go through with the marriage, that we won't have the support we deserve....
I am so scared to make the wrong decision. I know that I ultimately have to do what is right... and that I need to do what is right for me. But I am just so scared to either walk away from the man of my dreams or to be stuck in an unhappy and unequal marriage....
Until I figure this out, we are sleeping in separate bedrooms - I feel like I am just dying inside...
And stressed more than ever... PLEASE HELP
It is time for me to be honest... I just took a 2 month break from wedding planning. Yes... a full TWO MONTH BREAK!! And oh my goodness am I glad that I did because I had to get myself in order. But now that I have, I've realized that I've completely neglected by wedding!
I have been so busy that I haven't been able to clean my house in two months, yet alone plan my wedding...
My life has been upside down since I started my new job - 13-hour days with long commute times (sometimes 2 hours one way!), learning a completely new industry and product lines, putting my skill set to the test and selling into a short sales cycle (I'm used to a 12-18 month cycle, and now my cycle can be a short as a day!), etc, etc, etc....
I also had to quit my part-time job in the mean time... was a hard decision, but I just don't have time in my week for it anymore. Needless to say, I've been drowning in the reality of life...
Now that I'm back, I've realized that I only have 4 months left to pull it all together... and I am so worried that I am not going to be able to do it.... When am I ever going to have time to do my million DIY projects I want to do and get this whole thing organized??
If anyone has ANY advice or suggestions on how to get it all done and/or organized at this point - PLEASE send it my way. I really want start this marriage off the right foot and not be a bundle of stress....
Signed - Stressed but hopeful...
Trip to Cape May...
Most Productive Weekend Yet!
FH and I headed to Cape May (wedding town) for the weekend to take care of a lot of to-do's:
BAKER - Victory Baking Service:
*Finalize design (see previous post)
*Do tasting - Black and White with Marble filling and chocolate chips!!
*Finalize topper - pictures to come soon!
*Get quote on cookies - ONLY $60 - CHECK!!
RECEPTION - Hotel Alcott:
*Crab stuffed Flounder
*Prime Rib carving station
*Finalize linens - Ivory underlays with khaki overlays and ivory napkins
*Finalize china - gold accented
*Discuss set-up of the room
CEREMONY - Rev. Robert Steenrod:
*Short and sweet and to the point
*Include sign of the peace to appease Catholic MIL
*Purchase post cards for guest book
*Grab enough maps to send in "welcome kits"
*Search for Rehearsal Dinner site
.... HIT THE BEACH!! :) Nothing is better than being cuddled up on the beach in sweats and hoodies and blankets and scarves :)
We met with our baker this weekend and TA-DA... here is our cake!!!
Ours will be 2 layers instead of 3, and I settled on birds as toppers. I actually found 2 little birds at Michael's for 99 cents each. They are green today, but I am going to strip them and make them gold.
The cake is going to be black and white (chocolate and white) incredibly moist pound cake with marble filling (boston cream and chocolate pudding) with chocolate chips. Its like a total orgasm in your mouth...
I think I am most excited about our cake!!
Table Numbers...or Names?
How are you
Here is a question for all you brides out there....
How are you "numbering" your tables? Are you using actual numbers? Or are you getting creative?
If you are getting creative, what are you using? Names of flowers, places you and your FH have visited, etc?
Anxious to see what everyone is doing!
Must see wedding websites
Great sources of inspiration!!
I've been sitting at the computer for the past 2 days and found these great wedding websites - some pretty great inspiration lies in these sites!!
Some of my favorites are...
www.kissthegroom.com (where I got my FREE personalized kissing tree!)
www.i-do-it-yourself.com (GREAT for us DIY-ers!!)
Love love LOVE my Kissing Tree from Kiss The Groom!
My First Inspiration Board..
I'm not 100% sure I'm happy with how everything is coming together... thinking the next 6 months are going to be long ones... Worried I haven't put enough thought into this!!
Does anyone else have moments like this?
Postcard Template Freebie!!
Anyone out there using postcards might be interested in this printable template!
LOVE IT! In the event I'm unable to find great postcards to use in my welcome bags, use as thank you's, use as my guest book, etc, I'm going to print these off on thick card stock and VOILA! :)
Cake needs a FANTASTIC topper!
I really liked the idea of incorporating birds into our cake, and I even had our cake napkins make with "love" birds on them... and then I found the "love" topper... and I am starting to re-think. Who knew a cake topper would be such a big decision.
Here is my question... Birds vs. Love. If birds, which ones do you like??
LOVE - For some reason I'm drawn to this:
Bird #1- Just too cute:
Bird #2 - Gold and Simple:
Bird #3 - Vintage Feel:
Bird #4 - Classic and Simple:
PLEASE HELP ME DECIDE - I can see them all being cute - just can't decide which would be the "cutest'!