11/13/2008
prenup
prenup
  

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How do you feel about prenups?

Yes, I know a prenup is not very romantic. The whole point of getting married is hoping and believing you will be together forever. But don't you want your FH to be covered if something happens to you? Or the other way around? We would all like to think that if things had to end, we would do it amicably, but as we all know feelings get hurt and depending on the situation, it can get nasty. The prenup really is to protect both parties involved. I don't think it means you love each other less, you are just protecting one another....just in case. So what do you think about having a prenup?
chantelle0704's Blue wedding
 |  Oakville, ON, Canada  |  11/13/2008  | 
I'm really not too sure how I feel about a prenup. On the one hand it is probably a smart, sensible thing to do if you have enough money to worry about (which I currently do not lol), but on the other hand it seems so depressing to prepare for your divorce before you have even gotten married.
I think that if I was ever asked to sign a prenup I would definitely feel a little hurt and disappointed, but at the same time if I had a lot of money/property/investments I may feel as though I needed to protect myself and my future by creating a prenup.
So yeah, I'm really undecided on this issue.
sapphire2009's Blue wedding
 |  Cary, NC, USA  |  11/13/2008  | 
I'm pretty apathetic about it these days. If we have one, it'll simply say that everything we had before we went into the marriage is still ours, everything we got together within the marriage will be split 50/50. We haven't figured out the situation with kids, but I hope it wouldn't come to that. The first time it was mentioned (his dad's a lawyer) we were both pretty pissed off about it, but now we just don't care anymore & if it makes his dad happy enough to give his blessing then its whatever.
amcs76's Green wedding
 |  Whitby, ON, Canada  |  11/13/2008  | 
I have no money and no children, so no prenup for us. I think if you have a significant amount of money or you have children from a previous relationship or marriage it might be a good idea.
b00tyfulchica's Purple wedding
 |  Jacksboro, TN, USA  |  11/13/2008  | 
My money is staying in my name with my parents name being second on it.  His name is not going on the money and there would be no way he would have any room to try to get it.
cutsie1979's White wedding
 |  Sudbury, ON, Canada  |  11/14/2008  | 
To me, a prenup isn't necessary unless you have copious amounts of money and are concerned with "protecting it" from someone. It is like putting the following in writing, "Excuse me Miss, in case we don't work out, would you mind not asking me for money? Would you mind just sort of going away without a hassle?  Thank you for your cooperation."  

Hell no! I would be VERY insulted if I was asked to sign one. Often, prenups can be argued in court anyway.  They don't hold their weight if you have built a life together with children, etc.  How can you put a price tag on years you've consoled each other, been their for one another and raised children together?  Those things, to me, are priceless.

Personally, it's not necessary for us as a couple.  We've shared our money from day one and both come from strong, working class families.  Divorce is not in our vocabulary (unless obvioiusly, our safety has been jeopardized in some way).  I wouldn't ever do something that would make the divorce option easier.
wifewag's Orange wedding
 |  Brentwood, CA, USA  |  11/14/2008  | 
We have had some discussions on it.  We are not sure.  Michael owns several houses on the east coast.  I come from a divorce with a daughter. I have assets and now own property as well.  If something were to happen to me, Taylor would go to her father and live with him.  I love my FH, but I always want to make sure my daughter is taken care of.  It is a balance act right now.  I do not how it will end up, but I have 219 days to figure it out
light1882's Orange wedding
 |  Mission, KS, USA  |  11/14/2008  | 
My FH and I will probably have a prenup. I worked for lawyers for 3 years, so I like the idea of having things down on paper. We currently have a cohabitation agreement that we signed when we moved in together. He had no problem with that and we've talked about a prenup and agree it would be a good idea. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and an ex who's trying to get every cent from him, although she refuses to work. She ran his credit into the ground when they were together, so we're keeping our money separate to protect my credit and money from his ex. So, that's us, but it depends on your situation if it makes sense for you.
gcm910's Black wedding
 |  Beltsville, MD, USA  |  11/14/2008  | 
My FH and I have talked about this quite a bit. We WILL be signing a prenup. Not jinxing the fact that we'll be together forever but no one ever knows when their marrying someone in a time of bliss that something awful could happen and you not be together in 10-15 years. If someone saw that coming, they wouldn't get married...

I work for the Federal Government, he works for the State... our pensions will be large (especially mine). He currently makes a lot more money that I do and has a LOT of money in stock. I don't make as much as him but in about 3-5 years I'll be flying past him salary wise because I'm with the Federal Government and my pension and benefits will be adding up left and right. His ex wife CHEATED on him, got pregnant while they were married with another man's child... of course he filed adultry against her but her attorney advised her she still had rights to his pension, stock market assets, etc. Of course that sent him into a frenzy, he didn't do anything wrong in the relationship. She's the one who cheated, so it was quite a scare for him. Luckily her current boyfriend (the babies dad) convinced her to cut her ties all together. Thank God.

It will alleviate a lot of headache and stress if things were to come to a bitter end. At least you would feel safe with your own assets. Not to mention you could always list him as the beneficiary if anything happens to you (like death). So it's not like he'd lose it if you died. But if you separate, you're covered. I highly reccomend it.

Good luck.
vintagebabe's Green wedding
 |  Schenectady, NY, USA  |  11/14/2008  | 
God invented marriage. God did not invent a pre nup. They don't hold in court anyway. Imagine how hurt you would be if you married a man you loved, served him well, worked hard for him, raise children... and then he ran off with some hussy and left you homeless and penniless because you signed a pre nup. Whatever. I think this is a sad day and age when we even think its normal or an acceptable part of our culture to do this.
tiggre99's Red wedding
 |  Herndon, VA, USA  |  11/14/2008  | 
Thank you ladies for your input...it's an often controversial decision when getting married.  I was just curious where everyone stood with getting one.  I know that if I had a million dollars (double ha!), I would certainly want to protect the money and investments I earned BEFORE my husband and I married, just in case he ran off with that hussy vintagebabe mentioned.  If I didn't then he would still have the hussy, my money, and any investments I had!  Leaving me with close to nothing (all of which could have prevented).  Anything that was earned during the wedding is fair game, as it was accrued in the marriage.  If you and your partner do choose to have a pre-nup I suggest each having a lawyer, to make it fair on both sides.  That way it would be written so either side won't get jaded.

Just food for thought...
amandog83's Pink wedding
 |  Waterloo, ON, Canada  |  11/14/2008  | 
I think it all depends on the situation. I think if people are bringing it up to you... they might see problems in your relationship that you don't see... Coming from experience with a family member who is getting married!
soon2bmrsstrassburg's Blue wedding
 |  Ellicott city, MD, USA  |  11/16/2008  | 
Personally, I think that it would be silly to get upset over the mention of prenuptial agreements. They are simply a practical thing that is a good option for certain people. Everything about marriage and weddings can't be romantic and carefree. It can be a vulnerable situation when you are building a life and a family together and it just makes sense to protect yourself in case things don't work out. If me or my fiance had any money, investments, or real estate we would certainly sign one.
nmiller20's Black wedding
 |  Buffalo, NY, USA  |  01/09/2009  | 
Im totally getting a pre nup...not because I don't think we wont last but we spent a year getting all his finance on track and he still has a cuople of things to get in order before our wedding...But to be on the safe I think it will be best and besides that he has children that he pays child support for....When your married you also become liable for their support if at anypoint he loses his job and so on.... So I think in some cases the reason has nothing to do with if we get a divorce .....sometimes its strictly.....finances!
With love and respect..nikia
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