tinkbride08's Blue wedding


09/06/2008
frustrated
frustrated
images
frustratedimages
   
THIS SUCKS!!!!!
Of course this would happen to me!
So Chris and I had already planned on not getting married at the church that I belong to. First of all I haven't been in a super long time because I don't like the priest their and second he is not Catholic. So I didn't feel like dealing with that whole situation about how I am not active enough in the church and how Chris is not Catholic. So we looked into his church which is Methodist. Everything was looking like it was going to work out. I had contacted the lady who helps out with the wedding, the dates that we picked more than likely were going to be opened, me and my mom and Chris's mom are going Monday to meet with the lady at the church....like I said everything was going fine. Until I got home tonight.......

The lady at the church sent me some information about having your wedding at the church. Now I am not sure if its like this for all Methodist churches but their are some rules that I am just not happy with and has turned me off completely and made me really upset. First off is that ALL music has to be approved by the minister!!! THAT INCLUDES CEREMONY MUSIC!! And it also said that the ceremony music has to be Christian music!!!!!!! I am not saying that I was going to have my brides maids walk down the isle to rap, but I wanted soft sweet music, preferably Disney music, but that looks like a no go!!! They are super strict on the decorations for the ceremony, and you can ONLY throw birdseed outside for the send off!!!! There is to be NO flower petals on the floor of the church, so no decorating the walkway!!! You can only use their candles for the ceremony!!!! There is NO alcohol allowed ANYWHERE in the church or the reception site!!!!!!!!! So that means no toasting to the bride and groom with Champagne!!!!!!!! The photographer can only take one picture of me and my dad walking down the isle and the same when me and Chris are walking back down together, I mean come on what is that????? And then it said something about how its an inconvenience for others to take pictures in the bridal suit because the photographer is there trying to take pictures...hello, I think if you were a photographer you would understand that other people want to take pictures of the bride on her wedding day. UGH I AM SOOOOO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sooo disgusted and bitter about this that I don't even want to go Monday to meet with this lady, because I don't want to have my wedding there!!!! I am just so sick its not even funny!!! Why do they have to be so primeval??????? Oh I am just so mad I could spit!!!

So should I just buck up and have the ceremony their and have a reception somewhere else?? I could look into that, I guess. I would just have to deal with the rules of the church. I think whats really bugging me is the reception rules. I want it to be fun and I am afraid that there will be people checking on us to see if our music is the approved kind or if anyone is toasting us with alcohol.

I am just so mad because now I am back to square one and I have no clue where we are going to get married. :o(
ceremony, mad, frustrated, rules
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soon2bepayton
 |  Virginia beach, VA, United states  |  09/06/2008
Is your fiance really pushing to have the wedding at a church? I wouldn't do something that you won't be happy with. You don't want your wedding day to come and in the back of your mind be thinking "I hate this," you know? Most churches do not allow any alcohol. And also I think most churches make you have your music approved. I am not sure if all churches enforce the ceremony music to be Christian music necessarily, but they definitely want to approve it. But I'll tell you, if I had my heart set on something that the church wouldn't allow, I probably would find somewhere else. Good luck though. Give yourself a few days to think about it before you put your foot down on the issue.
divadan80
 |  Houston, TX, United states  |  09/06/2008
Churches are very, very strict and even though we want to have a church wedding it just may not pan out like you intend, I say dont have a church wedding just find a different venue somewhere else and then you can just relax and do what you want to do.
halibride
 |  Dartmouth, NS, Canada  |  09/07/2008
We just discovered the same thing about the church we wanted to get married at. We were going to meet with the rector today, but then we read the email attachment they sent very carefully : no pictures other than of the processional. Music would have to be approved by the music director, and has to be hymn-like in nature (no pachelbel's canon by a string quartet for me), flowers to be arranged through the altar guild.

Long story short, if all Anglican churches have these rules, we will be looking at alternate venues where we can do as we please........*sigh* I guess the whole thing is a learning experience.
vintagebabe
 |  Albany, NY, United states  |  09/07/2008
maybe the minister can approve the disney music. you'd be suprised how untasteful some people are in churches for weddings. you can go with classical, kenny g, and there are loads of beautiful christian love songs. if you need help finding any let me know.

i'd go with a church wedding, a reception somewhere else.
amcs76
 |  -, -  |  09/07/2008
I would have the ceremony at the church, and reception elsewhere. Unfortunately, you will find a lot of churches are the same when it comes to strict rules....so even if you decided to the ceremony at another church, you may find they have similar rules.
tinkbride08
 |  Beaumont, TX, United states  |  09/07/2008
This is great advice, thank you so much!!! My finace is not pushing for a wedding church, he isn't pushing for anything at all.  My parents said a lot of the same things you guys said about all churches have rules and music approvals. Tomorrow we are meeting with the lady and I am flat out asking if their are any rules placed that we can bend some. I'll let you guys know how it goes.
rodrhonda4ever
 |  Sacramento, CA, United states  |  09/07/2008
WOW!  That's amazing how many rules you have on YOUR day!  I'd find another venue, beach or something. That's crazy...You're already going to be nervous that day...On top of that with 1 picture here and there?  That's crazy.  What happends if your 1 picture wasn't a perfect picture? You're paying for perfect pictures...I've never heard of such rules and regulations this bad. You have to use their candles? Boring!
waffles57
 |  Greenville, SC, United states  |  09/07/2008
it really must be a methodist thing w/ the crazy rules. my cousin just got married in a methodist church & she had already began some DIY projects. she made a wreath to hang on the doors of the church w/ fake flowers but they told her she couldnt use it, only real flowers could be used in their church. she wasn't allowed anything w/ sparkles/sequins on it so she didnt buy the wedding dress she wanted. it was crazy. i would have changed venues.
especially if its not my own church. you can always find a place just as pretty that doesnt have those crazy rules.
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