mother in laws - what to do about mother in laws!! - TMARIE09's Pink Wedding by Color Blog

okay so heres my problem, my in laws are suppose to help us with our wedding, we have been asking them since last decemeber and they keep blowing us off, well they want to invite like 200 people!! and i dont have the money to pay for all these people THEY want to invite, there is only 25 people on my side of the family that is going, and the rest is theres. i dont find it fair that my family is putting more money time and effort into this then them if its mostly there family, most of these people i dont even know! they dont relize all the costs that are going into this, i would rather have something small and go all out then do something big and have a super tight budget. i told my hubby (we got married in april but are having our wedding next year) that if this is how its going to be there is only 50-75 people invited and any extra his family can pay for. does this sound fair?? i know he feels pressured because he is unsure of what to do, and is taking my side as much as possible. my inlaws responsibility was to put down the deposit for the location, which is completely booked next year with only a few openings and i cant get them to budge, and we dont have all the money right now to fork over, we are raising 2 little girls at the same time. i dont know what to do if i should be the one to talk to my in laws or just forget them and do it my way and not worrie about there opinions

Well I would talk to them they will be in your life for the rest of your life so now would be a bad time to not be getting along with them. I realize how hard it is to deal with in laws mine are the same way but, life is to short to be mad and we are all in this to be happy so just go talk to them and tell them what has to be done and if they don't see it that way then you can do it your way without really stepping on anyones toes.

Remeber it is your wedding you can invite who you want. If they want to invite crap load of people they need to pay. Say to her, due to budget reasons I can only afford this amount of people.

I feel you. I can count the people in my family on one hand. We just have a very, very small family. Rush's, however, is huge! If they invited all the people that always show up to their family reunions, they would max out my 265 limit without any of my family or friends! So we're making my guest list and then figuring out how many people can still be invited and we'll give that number to my FMIL.

Just tell her that you have a maximum number and she needs to limit her guest list to x amount of people. If you're having a hard time getting them to pay for something they already promised you, I would let her invite a bunch of people and count on her paying for them.

I hear ya! We are in the same boat. I actually called of the wedding at one point because everyone gives opinions but no one wants to help. I have no idea what Im really doing. I keep asking for a guest list or atleast a rough draft but I havent seen one yet. My inlaws said they invivited 400 people to their daughters wedding and I was like NO FREAKING WAY!!!! I cant afford 400 people at 10-12 bucks a plate when over half will come eat and leave. I keep my mother in law informed and ask for her thoughts on an idea but she really doesnt give me one so I just do what I want to anyway. I try to think of how they feel but its hard. As far as I know my hubby and I are forking over all the cash anyway so might as well be our way. People dont like it they dont have to come. I hope things work out for you!! :)

yeah i keep asking for a list to and still have not seen one yet then my hubby gives me this dumb excuse of his mom has to do it because he doesnt know everyong.HA you know what i said to that! THEN THEY ARENT GOING! duh!! why are you gonna invite people you dont even know or can write down thats kinda dumb lol

My in laws are doing the same thing... they promised to help us out with the wedding and now when we need the money they arent giving it to us.... they only have 1 1/2 months to the wedding i am wondering when they are planning on helping since they told us a year ago they would help.....

It's YOUR wedding-not theres. Don't be a people pleaser during this time!!!

If they expect you to have a large number of guests ( to accomodate their wants) of course they should be willing to fork over the money. However, if they aren't willing to fork over the money-don't stress over it-do it your way.

Either way a constructive converstation is going to have to happen between you and your inlaws. You are going to have to tell them the reality of what is resonable within your budget. And that if they want this lavish wedding they are going to have to accomodate the cost...Tell them you need to know if they are wanting and willing...not just to say that they will and not accomodate the cost in the end....

If they seem like they are the type to say they would do something and not-I wouldn't risk it-I wouldn't book anything until I get the money in my hands. Afterall, you in the end will be stuck with the bill.

My mother has 13 siblings, and father has 12.-not to mention their kids and partners. I however, refuse to have a big wedding. We could fork out all that dough, but from experiences based on observation-in the future -people who spend more than 10 grand on a wedding wish they didn't. My Aunt for one wished she used her money to put a down payment on a house.

If you truly want the small wedding-go for it!!!

Afterall, small weddings are very romantic and intimiate.

tmarie09 said...

Bridesmaids (15)

yeah i might have them pay for their dress, and then ill pay for their hair, and accessories

mother in laws (7)

yeah i keep asking for a list to and still have not seen one yet then my hubby gives me this dumb excuse of his mom has to do it because he doesnt ...

Save the Date (11)

very smart idea!! and with the amount that everything cost for weddings its okay to steal a bargain!!!

Wedding Hair Style (4)

that is absolutely gorgeous!! i love it

ALCOHOL AT THE WEDDING?? (9)

its not rude or negative i feel the same way! i just needed someone to agree with me :) they are very selfish people. so diffeent then my family. a...