12/19/2008
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Anyone else tired of people's unwanted suggestions/advice?

It seems like every time I definitively decide on something for the wedding a bunch of people make suggestions on how to make it better. Suggestions are fine, but it really annoys me when people can't accept that I've decided for sure this is what I'm going to do. One person makes a suggestion, and then a bunch of other people make suggestions. You repeat over and over again that you like it the way it is, and people still say I know you like it but I think this will be better! This a nicer way of saying I don't like your way, and I want you to do it my way.

It's even worse when people half @ss read what you posted, and make a suggestion. It's usually something completely off the wall. Like I'm all excited about booking my florist, and someone posts I went with such and such florist you should check them out!!! I just want to scream learn how to read!!! If you've ever been on any wedding forum or blog you know what I'm talking about. This is why I stopped going on wedding forums so much.

Why can't people just accept it that I don't want to have a wedding just like everyone else? I don't want to do what is raved about on every wedding forum. I sure as heck don't want to do all of the extravagant things that I never heard about until I started going on wedding forums, but yet these things are considered to be required for every wedding. The ultimate contradiction of this is people saying it's your wedding day do what YOU want. I am doing what I want for MY wedding day. YOU are the one who can't accept it and move on!
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tiggre99's Red wedding
tiggre99
 |  Herndon, VA, USA  |  12/19/2008
Right on girl!    If you ask a question--expect advice or an opinion...but if you say this is it, either people should say "oh that's nice" or nothing at all.  I think there is a fine line between people offering advice but knowing when to give it (not every post is asking advice but is simply stating this is what I am doing).
tiggre99's Red wedding
tiggre99
 |  Herndon, VA, USA  |  12/19/2008
the alternative is just post what you want  and say what you want and graciously accept comments and with a smile say "thank you but I've decided to do it this way" and if they continue to push their ideas again repeat "my FH and I have decided we would like our wedding this way but thank you for your suggestion"  just saying it with more force each time---perhaps after the 5th time they will get the hint.  :-)
's wedding
JoyfulSong
 |  Saint john's, NL, Canada  |  12/19/2008
I'd consider myself lucky ... I've stopped posting as much because people don't comment on my posts anyway.  *sigh*
wannabenurse2's Pink wedding
wannabenurse2
 |  Ames, IA, USA  |  12/19/2008
tiggre99
The problem is people don't get it even by the 5th time of me politely saying thanks for the suggestion, but this is what my fiance and I have decided to do. That's what is frustrating.
tiggre99's Red wedding
tiggre99
 |  Herndon, VA, USA  |  12/19/2008
I'm assuming you are talking about people in "real" life aka those ones you interact on a face to face basis.  Some people are just pig headed and really think their way is the only way.  Just smile and nod---maybe if you don't acknowledge they said something they will leave it alone lol kind of like kids who say bad words if you ignore them they usually stop.  Or you could lie and say that's a great idea I'll think about it. Or "Oh wow I never thought about that before"  or "that's a good suggestion".  People will always give their opinions--I've actually known people who kept the baby's name a secret because they didn't want inputs before the name was put on paper.  SO maybe you could do the same with the wedding--only let certain people know the details?  I've kind of done that Anyways good luck with those who can't get the pic...
's wedding
JoyfulSong
 |  Saint john's, NL, Canada  |  12/19/2008
Tiggre has a point - if you put the info out, then it's fair game.  

I was chatting with one lady I know while making props for a play, and she asked what I was planning to do for the BMs.  I told her some of the ideas, and mentioned that one idea was to have the girls wear white strapless tops and red skirts.  She said, "Oh, don't do that.  They'll look like square dancers!"  I tried explaining that it really wouldn't, because of the type of shirt, but she said, "Let it go.  You're having a 'bride moment'.  Don't put your girls in red and white."
wannabenurse2's Pink wedding
wannabenurse2
 |  Ames, IA, USA  |  12/19/2008
You two have a point, but I don't think I could keep my wedding plans secret. I get so excited every time I accomplish something that I announce it like a little kid. I have to accept that only I am excited about my wedding. Only I am proud of each little milestone. This is why I like blogging. There's minimal input from the peanut gallery lol.
shana831's Chocolate wedding
shana831
 |  Albany, NY, USA  |  12/19/2008
Totally know what you mean!
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