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Etiquette

We have the same problem, tons of kids on my FH's side of the family. We are leaving it off the invites and relying on word of mouth, mainly his mother, to inform the family that we simply can't afford (both in terms of money and space) to invite all the babies, toddlers, children and teens that would be coming along. I think it would literally double our guest list. The only kids coming to our wedding are in the wedding party which sucks because I wish we could just have everyone but it's just not feasible!

I think its fair. If they show up anyway I would even ask your escorts to seat them on isles or towards the back (in a casual way) so they can excuse themselves if the babies make too much noise. I was even thinking of hiring a teen i knew from church to watch the toddlers and smaller children during the church ceremony, depending on how many can't find someone to watch their kids. Hope it helps

Thanks for understanding. I really don't know how to bring it up with the people though. Word of mouth is a great thing, but both my FH and I don't want to offend anybody, and though this day should be all about us, we want our guests to feel comfortable. I never thought I would be having much trouble with this, seemingly easy, issue.

O man, I'm in the same boat. My FH's side has a TON of kids and I wanted no kids just for the fact they don't remember anyway and they get so bored.... but he wants them there. It's rough and plus his lil half brother is 5 and I can't say he can't come, so I don't know what we are doing yet but I would like kids 10+ there.

I believe the most tactful way to do include or exclude anyone comes basically down to how you address the envelope.
Addressd to the Brown Family implies that children are welcome
Addressed to Mr and Mrs Brown implies that only the adult couple is invited.
If there are any misunderstandings when you receive their reply card, call the guest and tell them politely that you are having an adults only affair.
The flower girls ARE part of your bridal party. It is not rude to have them there and not other children.
We have all of our children in our bridal party and I obviously expect the children of my attendants to be present but besides that we'll be adults only. We're going as far as to rent a hotel room for the kids and providing a sitter so that after a certain hour they can watch movies and eat popcorn and unwind.

I am in the same boat as you. My side of the family has a million kids. (i personally have one that's 3 so i love kids) but I do want this day to run smoothly and to have the parents enjoy it too. We are only inviting the kids that are in our immediate family.

We are addressing the envelopes with Mr. and Mrs. and listing the kids that are invited in the envelope. If no kids invited then their names wont appear. AND on the RSVP we are going to write in the # of guests (prefill) then they will respond how many are coming from that # we wrote.

So something like this:

We have reserved three seats for your party

___ accepts with pleasure
___ declined with regrets

* you should not feel bad. It costs a lot of money to have a wedding, you shoulnt need to invite an entire family.